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First of all, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your son, but it sounds like you guys did the only thing that made sense to try and save your wife and son. I had a son first, daughter second and there's really no "adjustment" when they're little... just knowing that you gotta wipe toward the back with a girl. Other than that they are just babies. I'm not going to pretend like I've got it figured out, but know that as my daughter gets older my wife will be the one who can relate better than me. My bond with her will be different and I'll just do my best to show her how a real man should act and set the stage for her future relationships.
Now that we're having a girl, like I have no idea what to do, it doesn't compute. To you dudes that have daughters, how do you adjust to having a daughter?