NT My life has finally hit rock bottom Vol. Assed Out

[thinkinfresh]

Things always get worse before they get better, just keep your head up and stay positive.

Plan out everything out on a piece of paper, visualize the goals you have (paying debt etc.) and stick to a strict budget. Learn to cook your own food or buy cheaper things for lunch... A slice and soda shouldn't run you more than $4. you are going to have to make a sacrifice but it's worth it.

There are people I'm WAY worst positions in life and still smiling.

Positive Thoughts = Positve results

 

[sheistbugz]

I wouldn't say you've hit rock bottom. Trust me, things could be a lot worse for you.
Your problems all seem to be financial, so just learn to save from now on. You don't need to necessarily throw it in a savings and sit on it. You can invest it, even small amounts, you have a lot of options. But first work on paying all that debt off, it will save you from the stress and will save your credit as well.

 

[jvjv]

Sounds like you have assets. Sell them.

 

[ksteezy]

Yes I owe alot more than its worth, I have a 2003 Mustang Cobra Terminator, which I owe a good chunk of change on. I've been seriously debating on letting it go and I fear soon I will have to. It's my only vehicle and I don't even have any money to buy a cheap beater to drive, which I have no problem driving as long as it gets me where I need to be.

happy FutureMD??....just like a lot of "future MDs" i know, you lack a crap load of common sense.

 

[dunknforce]

Sit there and think of what you need to do to get ahead, something will come up. Pray/meditate often
donate plasma, $60 a week = $240 a month you could be helping your babys mama out with.

 

[futuremd]

Yes I owe alot more than its worth, I have a 2003 Mustang Cobra Terminator, which I owe a good chunk of change on. I've been seriously debating on letting it go and I fear soon I will have to. It's my only vehicle and I don't even have any money to buy a cheap beater to drive, which I have no problem driving as long as it gets me where I need to be.

happy FutureMD??....just like a lot of "future MDs" i know, you lack a crap load of common sense.

Just like offering financial advice BEFORE getting details on his actual financial situation? 

The last thing this guy needs is a massive credit hit. 

Its not like he'll be driving something ANYWAYS. Hes better off selling it OR structuring some sort of financial protection with the bank. 

 

[ksteezy]

Just like offering financial advice BEFORE getting details on his actual financial situation? 

The last thing this guy needs is a massive credit hit. 

Its not like he'll be driving something ANYWAYS. Hes better off selling it. 

again.....HE OWES MORE THAN ITS WORTH....what are you NOT understanding, say he owes 15k on it, the car is only valued at 9k, thats all a seller will offer, do you think the bank will just give him a break on the remaining 6k?....nooooo HE has to come out with the difference, GET IT?...a difference he obviously doesn't have....by getting the car re-po'ed is not a great idea but it will free up some income, his credit he can worry about later, since he is only 22 and has plenty of time to salvage it, credit becomes crucial as you get older....early 20's he should be ok taking a hit there.

 

[lishman]

Originally Posted by IAMLegend2345  

" Im 22 y/o I have a full-time job "

"Im living with my family"

" I always had my parents to fall back on"

"I was buying, sneakers, clothes, gold, cars and motor bikes, and anything else that tickled my fancy (I've had 5 cars, 1 motorcycle and a ATV since I was 18"

my struggles

Sounds rough 

  

I had a mom who was addicted to heroin, dad died when I was 7, lived in cousins car during senior year of high school, walked three miles to awful fast food job for two years to save up for school. I got my first car (1991 Geo Metro four door 

) when I was 22, and I'm just now starting to reap the benefits of hard work at 29 years old. 

Man the hell up. 

 

[marquisej]

Bro here is the truth, we all go through tough times mentally and emotionally, when you add the financial sprinkle to it things always seem to take a turn for the worse. However Stay resilient those who are by your side during this time you need to worry about them and take their support they are your true friends and family.
Like others said, stay focused, all that is going on be optimistic, we are all too young to feel there is no tomorrow!! Everyone rich or poor goes through tough times, make this a learning experience and prosper from it once it's all over and Keep your head up!

 

[futuremd]

I appreciate all the support fellaz, I greatly do. Great advice from you guys.

I don't currently own anything of value, I sold almost everything in the past 2 years. 

To add a little more insight. On how my problem started

Basically it started with personal loans, I got in debt with them and was paying them off, then boom I totaled my car (not my fault). So I didn't have the money to purchase a decent cash car so I had to drop $2k on a down payment, more so I let my mom persuade me to finance a car KNOWING that I shouldn't, and should of bought a cheap cash car, I did it anyway thinking I would be able to pay it off once I got a accident settlement, so along with a new/used car came a $240 a month insurance payment. So as time went buy my lawyer bs'd me and I only got $10,000 for a settlement even though I was injured and all which left me with $1800 after paying all the fee's and medical bills. Fast forward a few months I get hit with my first charge. Now living in debt and owing alot of folks I sit here trying to make my next move.

I don't associate with bad people, truly I don't have any associates other than guys I play basketball with, just a few close friends who are out of state military heads that I only see from time to time. Like I said my family raised me to spend money and didn't teach me the value of a dollar and what it means to save and the importance of it, not to save just to make a big purchase. It's a lesson I've been slowly learning the past 2 years/ while unwillingly digging myself into a deep hole. I let so much oppurtunity for me to better myself slip by in the past it sickens me to think about it, I know I can't live in regret but only use it as knowledge to make better decisions in the future.

I have a GF, but she's not a reason for my problems.

I try to stay humble

I'm just going to take in the advice given by you guys and see what my best route will be.

Honestly...unless you're hiding something I don't see what the problem is.

You're struggling mostly because of the kid it sounds like because other than that, you've got a roof over your head, some money in your pocket, and you're not having serious legal problems.

Oh, and I don't believe you on the "associate with bad people" line. You still haven't touched on that arrest and what actually happened OR why its taking so long. I still think you're unwilling to cut people off who might be time/energy sinks. 

Fall off the map if you need to. 

If I were you, i'd start cutting back. Do you need super fast internet? Do you need your full cell phone plan? Cable? Do you need name brand orange juice?  That pack of water? Save it. Drink it from the fridge and your metal refillable container. Going out for drinks and happy hours? Dead it. 

$3000 isn't that bad man. You can rise out of it in less than a year. Its completely doable, especially with SOME sort of job.  

Simple stuff like that saves hella money.

Build a budget and develop rigid goals for your income as well as absolutely necessary allocation of funds. Being honest with the people you owe comes first. 

Speak to your GF/Baby's mother so you two can come to an understanding about what your goals are and how you guys are going to work towards being back in the black. 

You've got the money, you just haven't realized it yet. It takes a willingness to be honest with yourself. Throwing blame and beating yourself up doesn't change the reality of your present situation. 

 

[futuremd]

Just like offering financial advice BEFORE getting details on his actual financial situation? 

The last thing this guy needs is a massive credit hit. 

Its not like he'll be driving something ANYWAYS. Hes better off selling it. 

again.....HE OWES MORE THAN ITS WORTH....what are you NOT understanding, say he owes 15k on it, the car is only valued at 9k, thats all a seller will offer, do you think the bank will just give him a break on the remaining 6k?....nooooo HE has to come out with the difference, GET IT?...a difference he obviously doesn't have....by getting the car re-po'ed is not a great idea but it will free up some income, his credit he can worry about later, since he is only 22 and has plenty of time to salvage it, credit becomes crucial as you get older....early 20's he should be ok taking a hit there.

I don't completely disagree with you, I just don't agree with your method. 

You spoke too soon about an option that was too extreme.

1. The OP had not issued his financial situation BEFORE you made the call for him to let it be repo'd.

2. Repossession is SERIOUS business and if he can avoid it, you should have been more responsible in suggesting it. 

3. He's 22 with a child, so yes he should be concerned about things that people in their "early 20s" typically aren't. 

He needs to speak to someone at the bank first or get some valid financial information because a 22 year old with his degree of responsibilities isn't setting himself up with that sort of credit hammer. 

 

[Extrait de Minimalisme]

Damn, breh smh.. That's no struggle, just stupidity. Lose the car and the girlfriend. Worry about you and your seed, and try to help your baby moms out as much as possible, and pray she doesn't hit you up for child support. Get your situation right. Grind harder, work three jobs, go to trade school, or community college to pick up a new skill. 

Definitely walk away from the car loan. A re-po can be taken care of pretty easy when it comes to your credit.

 

[iblink]

Set attainable goals, especially to settle your debt.

MAKE A BUDGE AND STICK TO IT. If there's anything you should take from my response, it's that. Write out your expenses and plan your income according to pay it off. This helps you track your money come pay day so you don't end up spending it frivolously.

If your kid's mother is sticking by you and you two aren't together, reconsider not letting her go. She may just be the motivation you need to keep on the right path.

Remember, whether you like it or not, you're a father now. But parenthood doesn't automatically make you a man. Handling your responsibilities and taking care of your own makes you a man. You can't be out here ******g up fam, straight up. You don't have a choice but to bounce back. Think of the example you'd be setting for your son, as well as the life you'd be making for him if you don't.

 

[iamlegend2345]

Honestly...unless you're hiding something I don't see what the problem is.

You're struggling mostly because of the kid it sounds like because other than that, you've got a roof over your head, some money in your pocket, and you're not having serious legal problems.

Oh, and I don't believe you on the "associate with bad people" line. You still haven't touched on that arrest and what actually happened OR why its taking so long. I still think you're unwilling to cut people off who might be time/energy sinks. 

Fall off the map if you need to. 

If I were you, i'd start cutting back. Do you need super fast internet? Do you need your full cell phone plan? Cable? Do you need name brand orange juice?  That pack of water? Save it. Drink it from the fridge and your metal refillable container. Going out for drinks and happy hours? Dead it. 

$3000 isn't that bad man. You can rise out of it in less than a year. Its completely doable, especially with SOME sort of job.  

Simple stuff like that saves hella money.

Build a budget and develop rigid goals for your income as well as absolutely necessary allocation of funds. Being honest with the people you owe comes first. 

Speak to your GF/Baby's mother so you two can come to an understanding about what your goals are and how you guys are going to work towards being back in the black. 

You've got the money, you just haven't realized it yet. It takes a willingness to be honest with yourself. Throwing blame and beating yourself up doesn't change the reality of your present situation. 

Im not struggling because of my son at all. Im not on child support, I give my son's mom money and I buy things for him.

My legal problem is serious, I ran into a Kobe Bryant situation. The female had a bf, we had sex without a condom, she got scared, told her friends who talked her into saying the sex wasn't consensual, made up a bogus story. I had no contact with her since we had sex, oblivious that all that had taken place, 5 months later I get arrested at my job for a warrant. The Investigating officer was trying to get in contact with me to talk it over because they didn't believe her story and didn't think it was worth pressing charges over. So being that I had moved they weren't able to contact me. Even though I had only moved a few miles away. So about 2 months ago they sent out a warrant for my arrest and I was arrested a month later during a background check at a military base while trying to obtain a work pass. 

So now Im stuck with owing my lawyer $4k and my bondsman $1k on top of what I was already in debt with. Which equals an additional $767 a month just for those two legal fees. 

It's like I cant catch a break. I've never been to jail no record and definitely not the type to commit a crime that I was charged with. I have a good defense lawyer.

I guess my cheating was caught up with me, I was just having sex with women I didn't even know or had the care of getting to know.  ( Out of ALL the times I used condoms IDK why I did it with her without protection)

But this situation is a whole other story. 

 

[djaward]

To my young peeps,

It is important that you always save 10-15% of your check. Stash the cash somewhere safe and easy to get to. Trust me, it works.


OP, sorry to hear about your situation. I truly hope you pull through. Try to stay strong for your little man, he needs you in his life.

 

[durantula]

Keep your head up, be happy you got your health and that you are physically and mentally able to get yourself out of this.

 

[futuremd]

Honestly...unless you're hiding something I don't see what the problem is.

You're struggling mostly because of the kid it sounds like because other than that, you've got a roof over your head, some money in your pocket, and you're not having serious legal problems.

Oh, and I don't believe you on the "associate with bad people" line. You still haven't touched on that arrest and what actually happened OR why its taking so long. I still think you're unwilling to cut people off who might be time/energy sinks. 

Fall off the map if you need to. 

If I were you, i'd start cutting back. Do you need super fast internet? Do you need your full cell phone plan? Cable? Do you need name brand orange juice?  That pack of water? Save it. Drink it from the fridge and your metal refillable container. Going out for drinks and happy hours? Dead it. 

$3000 isn't that bad man. You can rise out of it in less than a year. Its completely doable, especially with SOME sort of job.  

Simple stuff like that saves hella money.

Build a budget and develop rigid goals for your income as well as absolutely necessary allocation of funds. Being honest with the people you owe comes first. 

Speak to your GF/Baby's mother so you two can come to an understanding about what your goals are and how you guys are going to work towards being back in the black. 

You've got the money, you just haven't realized it yet. It takes a willingness to be honest with yourself. Throwing blame and beating yourself up doesn't change the reality of your present situation. 

Im not struggling because of my son at all. Im not on child support, I give my son's mom money and I buy things for him.

My legal problem is serious, I ran into a Kobe Bryant situation. The female had a bf, we had sex without a condom, she got scared, told her friends who talked her into saying the sex wasn't consensual, made up a bogus story. I had no contact with her since we had sex, oblivious that all that had taken place, 5 months later I get arrested at my job for a warrant. The Investigating officer was trying to get in contact with me to talk it over because they didn't believe her story and didn't think it was worth pressing charges over. So being that I had moved they weren't able to contact me. Even though I had only moved a few miles away. So about 2 months ago they sent out a warrant for my arrest and I was arrested a month later during a background check at a military base while trying to obtain a work pass. 

So now Im stuck with owing my lawyer $4k and my bondsman $1k on top of what I was already in debt with. Which equals an additional $767 a month just for those two legal fees. 

It's like I cant catch a break. I've never been to jail no record and definitely not the type to commit a crime that I was charged with. I have a good defense lawyer.

I guess my cheating was caught up with me, I was just having sex with women I didn't even know or had the care of getting to know.  ( Out of ALL the times I used condoms IDK why I did it with her without protection)

But this situation is a whole other story. 

Bruh you seem really wreckless. I applaud your honesty, but you're just gonna have to do better from a maturity stand point. That includes the type of women you're messing with.

Just fall back and regroup man. 

You have no jail record and it seems like once you get past this legal hurdle, you'll be straight. Just focus on saving every little penny to get over this hurdle and start moving towards financial independence.

Also, how much do you need to move out? You might want to consider that. Maybe being at home has made you too complacent. 

 

[datznasty]

How much you tryna sell that Mustang for, or your collection?

Also, ever consider relocation?

 

[gottabeem21]

I had a mom who was addicted to heroin, dad died when I was 7, lived in cousins car during senior year of high school, walked three miles to awful fast food job for two years to save up for school. I got my first car (1991 Geo Metro four door  ) when I was 22, and I'm just now starting to reap the benefits of hard work at 29 years old. 

this is why you will never see me making a post about how "depressing" my life is or how i've "hit rock bottom".

you have made some poor decisions, sure, but your life is far from over and you have not hit rock bottom. people climb out of holes bigger than anything you'd be able to imagine, yet it seems like they don't talk about how rough it was.

 

[atlien seeko]

 To start my story off, Im 22 y/o I have a full-time job (decent but could be much better), a almost 3y/o son, Im living with my family (Who fights everyday and struggles). Im in about $3000 in debt. I was arrested about a month ago for a crime I DID NOT commit (My first time EVER in any trouble)  I now have to pay a lawyer $5000 and my bondsman another $1000 I know I will be found innocent, its just the burden of having to pay $800 a month on top of my existing bills i've been struggling to pay . My car payment is behind 1 month but their ok with me catching back up in due time. I really don't know how I can get my life back, I'm flat broke I have $2 to my name. Gotta find a way to get to work until Friday (Payday) smh. It's like my life just crashed and burned in the last 2 years. I don't blame anyone but myself (not including the person who sent me to jail) I let so much time go by without me establishing a stable foundation, Im a smart guy, I don't smoke, drink nor do drugs, I just wasn't raised conventionally to where I was brought up to be Independent, I always had my parents to fall back on and I guess that made me take certain things for granted when I should of been setting goals and meeting standards. Instead I was buying, sneakers, clothes, gold, cars and motor bikes, and anything else that tickled my fancy (I've had 5 cars, 1 motorcycle and a ATV since I was 18 smh). It's kinda like I was ready to become a man but I was living like manhood was just going to be handed to me. Now I'm sitting here today I fear that it's too late, like I've buried myself soo deep that there's no way to pull myself out. I feel so depressed because my sons mom is supporting him almost 100% in the last 2 months, She's a great woman, but I hate that she has all the weight on her shoulders, she understands my struggle and supports me (mentally) even though we aren't together. Im a great thinker and i've thought of every legal option to pull myself together and beat these troubled times, but unfortunately I can't come up with a solution.|I

NT I really need some advice, also has anyone ever been in a situation similar to mine and pulled through?

I might not get much replies or anyone who cares, which is fine, I just wanted to tell someone my struggles anonymously. Hopefully I can find some light on my situation, but in reality I know there's not much I can do.

And I apologize for the sob story. Not trying to get sympathy or anything.

You realize the contradiction here, right? So you know what you need to do, right? Read that first enlarged sentence again.

 

[iamlegend2345]

How much you tryna sell that Mustang for, or your collection?
Also, ever consider relocation?

I won't sell my car, and my collection aint much more than what's in my sig with the addition of a few more, Ive already sold ALOT.

 

[ksteezy]

Fam your ways have caught up with you....time to become a man and own up to your mistakes and turn your life around....majority of us have been there, I know I've had my dark days, I remember it vividly, got arrested for a DUI, 3 months after financing my first car, got my car taken from me for 1 month, had to attend AA meetings 3 times a week 30$ each time, had a restricted liscence, going to school and working with 30 minutes toget from one to the other ad no car....then one day my moms was doing me the favor of taking me to work, I'm going down some steps and I almost broke my ankle....joint swoll up something crazy, I didnt even get up, just stood on the floor crying for a good 20 minutes, not because of the pain, but because of how crappy everything was going....that's as bad as it got, accepted responsibility that I and only I was wreckless enough to catch a DUI, embraced my punishment and cherrished the help my now wife and mom offered me...pulled myself out the slum, graduated, got a job ad now I hold them down....I suggest you make peace with your baby mom....she seems to be in your corner regardless, accept your situation and pull forward....credit, material things, money are all secondary to the support and love of someone in your corner when the lights go off...as long as you have that, things are not that bad....right now your problem is strictly financial...which sorry to break it to you, it's a situation we are all facing to one extent or another.

 

[snaggykicks]

things will get better

 

[ooiron manoo]

Honestly doesn't seem like you have it too bad, looks like life served you a big serving of humble pie.

You've been spoiled, and now you're not.

$3k in debt, many people your age are in deeper.

Fighting a case you might win, it sucks, but you have the confidence to beat it so stand behind it.

You have a job, might not be making a ton of dough but allows you to stay current with expenses. Learn how to budget your money, be a little more frugal, hunker down, pay down debt, save money and keep pushing forward.

It's the age of information, however most don't seek it. You are far from rock bottom, you are just living at the level that people in or near the poverty line deal with on the daily.

Since everyone is being too nice or tongue in cheek, seriously, man the **** up.

happy FutureMD??....just like a lot of "future MDs" i know, you lack a crap load of common sense.

Don't know bro, you're basically telling dude to wreck his credit, which is awful advice.

Find a way to pay it, find a second job, hustle on the side. There's ways to get money, especially at 22. Dude is a young buck, this generation is soft in the worst way... mentally!!!

 

[Deleted member 37467]

You were man enough to admit that this is no one's fault but your own, which I applaud you for.

Now grow the **** up and take of your business.

I would suggest to stop trying to tickle your fancy, put your time into something more constructive and build towards something that actually matters.

Cars, sneakers and ATV's are cool if you're trying live life like The Ruff Ryders, but at the end of the day, none of that crap matters.

At this point in your life, all that materialistic junk will hold you back from attaining long term success.