NT, how do you know when she's the "one"?

you gotta give her the "fap test".

rub one out, and think about her as you bust. if your first feeling after you come is one of "i don't wanna look at you for about 30 minutes, get offame", it's not the one.

but if you wanna kiss and cuddle and all that stuff... she might be the one... or at least she might be the one your mind has placed on a pedestal...
 
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Yuku just ate my post, hold those thoughts for a second people, brb....
 
Originally Posted by iBlink

SneakerHeathen wrote:

Before I get into the career portion of that paragraph,

I'll talk about the latter half of what you wrote...

Trust issues...

See the thing about trust issues, they're an indication of care.

I'd be more concerned if there wasn't any trust issues as opposed to a big trust issue.

I love my girl to death, I'm her first and only. She's the epitome of faith, I'm her religion
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...

But I'm human, damn it I'm a man...

And I've been played....(By other females)

And damn it I'm a man...


I don't know your history or hers, so for now I'll assume both parties have been completely honest and faithful throughout the relationship....



As for goals/careers....

You just told me an integral piece of info...

Long distance...

This is usually a problem, but honestly I don't see the problem in your case.

Yes her grades are slipping, I'll get to that in a bit.

But why? Because of you, she loves you, ya big heart breaker you.....

Thats beautiful man, she needs you. She is a better person because of you, without YOU she isn't complete....

However...

Her grades are slipping, and thats not good. So what I'd do in this situation is give the relationship a minor hiatus until both parties can concentrate on what they're doing RIGHT now...

But, you're talking marriage, so what I'd do is out the window....

Can a transfer be possible? Because you two need each other. From what it sounds like to me, both of you have a some ways to go before finishing each ones education....

A long distance relationship isn't always strained by distance....



But by time...

I've used the "I'm a man" excuse too many times. I'll be honest with you, I've had the opp to have a few flings since I've been here, but I've never given into it. I've wanted to, but I never went through with it. I'd like to think the reason I've refrained from adding those notches to my belt is because I'm in love with my lady.

As far as the distance factor, she's back in Atlanta, which is two and a half hours away. It's not that far, but any space seems far when you've spent a year+ with someone. But the thing is, I'm not going back to Atlanta. As much as I love the place, it's not where I need to be during this point in my life. Being in a small town at a school where the party life isn't that hectic is what I need because it's more stable. If I were to go back to Atlanta, I know I'd fall off academically because my old group of friends are still there.

So the only way a transfer would work is if she were to come here, or we both go to a new school in another small town.



Okay back on track *ahem*...

Like I was saying before Yuku....

My indiscretions were a product of my insecurity....

I knew my girl was faithful, yet I was still insecure...

I had brought some baggage into the relationship that should have been left in old ones....

And I regret my indiscretions, I really do....It hurts me to think that I hurt her because I was being petty and proud...

And she has been nothing but faithful and good to me...

I hear you brother, these indiscretions are nothing to be proud of, conquests? Hardly...

Regret...


As for the distance,

Perhaps she'd be willing to see a change of scenery if it means seeing you.

Do some research, find a compromise and run some ideas past her. See if she'd be willing (I'm sure she would).
 
If you are younger than the age of 24 Marriage should not even be discussed.

The longer the engagement the bigger the risk of failure. Seems like there is a base that is missing in your relationship.
Then again that being said you have to believe there is such thing as the "one".



* Looks at what SneakerHeathen wrote*
/Thread
 
Originally Posted by Kneesh

SneakerHeathen ... you sound like my boyfriend .

Sometimes I just have to STARE at him because the things he's says are simply amazing . A long time ago he told me that he hopes he knows what I'm getting myself into because he claimed he had the potential to fall hard when it came to me , and he did .

He says I'm the one , he tells me that I make him a better man , that with me he strives to better , that I changed his life .

I taught him how to express , how to have ambitions , how to cry ... he taught me that also .

I can stare into his eyes knowing that no harm can be done to me .

I asked him why was he like this , because like all females , I was reluctant to believe all that he was telling me . His father committed suicide because he did (my boyfriends mother) wrong . He treated her wrong , and my boyfriend says this is the reason for his actions now . Seeing them fall , made him want to get the girl he knows is the one &nd not let her go for anything in the world .

SneakerHeathen , you're spitting that real , and I agree wholeheartedly .


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I'm glad that you two found each other.

Struggle is the catalyst for happiness....

I've found joy in life that I would have never known without the pain I've felt in the past....
 
I'm twenty if that matters.

For those of you who seem to think it's too young, I beg to differ. There's no right age for a person to contemplate marriage.
 
Originally Posted by kix4kix

If you are younger than the age of 24 Marriage should not even be discussed.

The longer the engagement the bigger the risk of failure. Seems like there is a base that is missing in your relationship.
Then again that being said you have to believe there is such thing as the "one".



* Looks at what SneakerHeathen wrote*
/Thread

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Sorry I had to
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....
 
Originally Posted by iBlink

I'm twenty if that matters.
Your buggin

Originally Posted by iBlink

For those of you who seem to think it's too young, I beg to differ. There's no right age for a person to contemplate marriage.
Your buggin some more


My dude,both of you need time to grow as people before you jump into marriage
 
Originally Posted by SpringfieldXD

you gotta give her the "fap test".

rub one out, and think about her as you bust. if your first feeling after you come is one of "i don't wanna look at you for about 30 minutes, get offa me", it's not the one.

but if you wanna kiss and cuddle and all that stuff... she might be the one... or at least she might be the one your mind has placed on a pedestal...


Yes! Listen to this man.
 
Originally Posted by eNPHAN

Originally Posted by lawinnn

Originally Posted by SpringfieldXD

you gotta give her the "fap test".

rub one out, and think about her as you bust. if your first feeling after you come is one of "i don't wanna look at you for about 30 minutes, get offa me", it's not the one.

but if you wanna kiss and cuddle and all that stuff... she might be the one... or at least she might be the one your mind has placed on a pedestal...


Yes! Listen to this man.

dumbest idea ever.

lol, instead of actually having sex with her, and testing this out in reality...

you should hypothetically have sex with her by masturbation, THEN imagine her being there...

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apparently, you haven't tried it.

it works. believe that.
 
A year is NOTHING trust me bro. Wait a couple years and don't rush anything like that.

She's talking about inking your name on her? She's just probably sprung still real talk. Im telling you this because I went through something similarto your situation.
 
If you and your girlfriend can take a dump in front of one another comfortably.....

Then you're ready to get married.
 
Originally Posted by ThrowedInDaGame

If you and your girlfriend can take a dump in front of one another comfortably.....

Then you're ready to get married.
She does that %@#! and I pretend it bothers me cause I don't wante her being that comfortable
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Originally Posted by pastellove88

Man you know when she is the one. And you asking this question means that your obviously doubting she is the one.

co-sign. best way to put it. if there's any question in your mind, she's not. this is beyond NT. good luck tho in whatever you choose to do.
 
I have to agree with the "you shouldn't have to ask" theory, but even so if these things occur....

- You lose any desire to have sexual relations with any another woman (yes it is possible)
- You can tell her anything and not think twice about it
- There might be things that bother you about her but you would never ask her to change those things because it's all worth it just having her
 
Originally Posted by j0rDan23dunker

when you're drunk off your +!+ and you're taking a dump and you pass out on the can and she wipes your +!+, she's a keeper.

i found mine.
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Fortunately there's no clear cut way to tell if she's "the one," as it would really take the fun out of it. That's all part of thejourney.
 
It's never too young to contemplate marriage but the amount of growing you do in your 20s can't be put into words.
 
Twenty is far too young to be getting married. Not to sound like anyone's father or anything, but at that age, you still have a lot of maturing to do.
 
To the guys saying I'm too young, what would you tell my aunt (whose been happily married for 11 years) who got married at 21?
 
Originally Posted by iBlink

To the guys saying I'm too young, what would you tell my aunt (whose been happily married for 11 years) who got married at 21?

I'd say she's a rarity (congrats to her, though). There's a negative correlation between age on wedding day and divorce. While correlationdoesn't equal causation, it definitely says something.

Can't tell you how to live your life, though, sir. Good job on finding a good girl in this sea of harlots.
 
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