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Damn son. She is a loser. Can't Win With Her...word to Coach Singeltery.
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Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then shewould be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and saythey see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves thenthats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what youweren't taught
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ahh i get what ur saying here. but it sounds like u need to find a girl that thinks for herself as opposed to letting her friends dictate what shedoes in certain situations.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then she would be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and say they see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves then thats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what you weren't taught. For the fellas who had a girl with single friends, you know what I mean. They have the single mindset. So when they give advice, they don't put themselves in the others shoes. They worry about what suits them.
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drink your problems away, my friend
Los Angeles
formerly bright nikes
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if i caught my girl with her ex after we've been together for a year, itd be a wrap.
you shudda found out where they were and caused hell
you shudda found out where they were and caused hell
shatterkneesinc
Banned
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you did a fine job there
dont take shh from these hoochies
dont take shh from these hoochies
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Well its not just the friends. Its a way the her family is as well. Not all of them. But some of them really set someOriginally Posted by ericberry14
ahh i get what ur saying here. but it sounds like u need to find a girl that thinks for herself as opposed to letting her friends dictate what she does in certain situations.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then she would be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and say they see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves then thats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what you weren't taught. For the fellas who had a girl with single friends, you know what I mean. They have the single mindset. So when they give advice, they don't put themselves in the others shoes. They worry about what suits them.
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i think i get what ur saying to an extent. Is it like the attitudes start with her parents, then are passed onto her sisters & finally ontoher. And also her friends exhibit the same attitudes which just reinforce what shes been exposed to in her family life.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Well its not just the friends. Its a way the her family is as well. Not all of them. But some of them really set someOriginally Posted by ericberry14
ahh i get what ur saying here. but it sounds like u need to find a girl that thinks for herself as opposed to letting her friends dictate what she does in certain situations.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then she would be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and say they see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves then thats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what you weren't taught. For the fellas who had a girl with single friends, you know what I mean. They have the single mindset. So when they give advice, they don't put themselves in the others shoes. They worry about what suits them.examples. What I'm trying to say is, Her family is cool but they live how a bad team plays if that makes any sense. Take the Cowboys for example? Pro Bowlers across the board. But at times they lack team chemistry and leadership.
Its more like the Detroit Lions. The failure starts at the top with the Team management, then down to the coaching staff, & finally to the players.
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In all honesty you overreacted a bit. Most likely because you don't trust her too much. Something like that shouldn't be causing a break up. Yes it wasdisrespectful but from what I can tell you had your mind made up already. Definitely something that could have been worked out. Even when you find "theone" she'll do things that are questionable....just got to get to a point where you trust her enough not to let it bother you. Which is probably thehardest thing to do in a relationship. She's going to call you soon...and I guarantee she'll tell you it was nothing. Looks like it's not worthtrying again., maybe some time apart will help.
EDIT For the record the problem between the people backing her actions and you is perspective. The actions isn't wrong(their perspective) but the fact thatshe's doing it while knowing you have a problem with it is(your perspective)....she could easily have squashed the whole thing by not contacting her ex atall or at least doing it sparingly. You could also help by not being so jealous/skeptical
EDIT For the record the problem between the people backing her actions and you is perspective. The actions isn't wrong(their perspective) but the fact thatshe's doing it while knowing you have a problem with it is(your perspective)....she could easily have squashed the whole thing by not contacting her ex atall or at least doing it sparingly. You could also help by not being so jealous/skeptical
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Originally Posted by ericberry14
i think i get what ur saying to an extent. Is it like the attitudes start with her parents, then are passed onto her sisters & finally onto her. And also her friends exhibit the same attitudes which just reinforce what shes been exposed to in her family life.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Well its not just the friends. Its a way the her family is as well. Not all of them. But some of them really set someOriginally Posted by ericberry14
ahh i get what ur saying here. but it sounds like u need to find a girl that thinks for herself as opposed to letting her friends dictate what she does in certain situations.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then she would be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and say they see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves then thats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what you weren't taught. For the fellas who had a girl with single friends, you know what I mean. They have the single mindset. So when they give advice, they don't put themselves in the others shoes. They worry about what suits them.examples. What I'm trying to say is, Her family is cool but they live how a bad team plays if that makes any sense. Take the Cowboys for example? Pro Bowlers across the board. But at times they lack team chemistry and leadership.
Its more like the Detroit Lions. The failure starts at the top with the Team management, then down to the coaching staff, & finally to the players.
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well like they say on NFL live about the Lions, you need to clean house starting at the very top to erase the culture that's in place. Butthat is much more realistic in terms of football, its actually not reasonable at all in terms of family. But if it were to happen, this might be the event thatcould be seen as the catalyst for her realizing that maybe what her family has shown her to do isnt actually right.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Originally Posted by ericberry14
i think i get what ur saying to an extent. Is it like the attitudes start with her parents, then are passed onto her sisters & finally onto her. And also her friends exhibit the same attitudes which just reinforce what shes been exposed to in her family life.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Well its not just the friends. Its a way the her family is as well. Not all of them. But some of them really set someOriginally Posted by ericberry14
ahh i get what ur saying here. but it sounds like u need to find a girl that thinks for herself as opposed to letting her friends dictate what she does in certain situations.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then she would be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and say they see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves then thats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what you weren't taught. For the fellas who had a girl with single friends, you know what I mean. They have the single mindset. So when they give advice, they don't put themselves in the others shoes. They worry about what suits them.examples. What I'm trying to say is, Her family is cool but they live how a bad team plays if that makes any sense. Take the Cowboys for example? Pro Bowlers across the board. But at times they lack team chemistry and leadership.
Its more like the Detroit Lions. The failure starts at the top with the Team management, then down to the coaching staff, & finally to the players.Thats right. Thats exactly whats going on. Your good. The attitudes were passed down and thats all they know. And since I'm like a new player coming in and trying share my views on how a team should be ran, I get flack for it.
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Sorry to hear that my dude but the worst part is that you will prob end up taking her bak Just trust me smh
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Females that can't/don't think for themselves are gonna be trouble anyway.
Trust me, I know all too well.
You've saved yourself MANY headaches by deading the relationship.
Trust me, I know all too well.
You've saved yourself MANY headaches by deading the relationship.
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Yeah you are right. My family is far from perfect but I consider us a together family who supports one another. Since me and her got togetherI've had a hard time really jelling in with her family. They are cool peoples but the way things work and operate really blew me back because I haven'tseen a situation like that in person. And their way of thinking has REALLY had an affect on our relationship pertaining to selfishness and only being concernedwith herself at times. Its hard dude. I love her but I'm not trying to play for the Raiders eitherOriginally Posted by ericberry14
well like they say on NFL live about the Lions, you need to clean house starting at the very top to erase the culture that's in place. But that is much more realistic in terms of football, its actually not reasonable at all in terms of family. But if it were to happen, this might be the event that could be seen as the catalyst for her realizing that maybe what her family has shown her to do isnt actually right.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Originally Posted by ericberry14
i think i get what ur saying to an extent. Is it like the attitudes start with her parents, then are passed onto her sisters & finally onto her. And also her friends exhibit the same attitudes which just reinforce what shes been exposed to in her family life.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Well its not just the friends. Its a way the her family is as well. Not all of them. But some of them really set someOriginally Posted by ericberry14
ahh i get what ur saying here. but it sounds like u need to find a girl that thinks for herself as opposed to letting her friends dictate what she does in certain situations.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then she would be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and say they see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves then thats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what you weren't taught. For the fellas who had a girl with single friends, you know what I mean. They have the single mindset. So when they give advice, they don't put themselves in the others shoes. They worry about what suits them.examples. What I'm trying to say is, Her family is cool but they live how a bad team plays if that makes any sense. Take the Cowboys for example? Pro Bowlers across the board. But at times they lack team chemistry and leadership.
Its more like the Detroit Lions. The failure starts at the top with the Team management, then down to the coaching staff, & finally to the players.Thats right. Thats exactly whats going on. Your good. The attitudes were passed down and thats all they know. And since I'm like a new player coming in and trying share my views on how a team should be ran, I get flack for it.
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come on now fam whats with the shots at the raiders. They are a decent organization for the most part, they just have Al Davis, who is the onlypart that is really holding them back from improving more rapidly. but seriously all you can do is try to show her that you cant be selfish in relationshipsbecause they destines them for failure. just try to set a better example for her than her parents haveOriginally Posted by RKO2004
Yeah you are right. My family is far from perfect but I consider us a together family who supports one another. Since me and her got together I've had a hard time really jelling in with her family. They are cool peoples but the way things work and operate really blew me back because I haven't seen a situation like that in person. And their way of thinking has REALLY had an affect on our relationship pertaining to selfishness and only being concerned with herself at times. Its hard dude. I love her but I'm not trying to play for the Raiders eitherOriginally Posted by ericberry14
well like they say on NFL live about the Lions, you need to clean house starting at the very top to erase the culture that's in place. But that is much more realistic in terms of football, its actually not reasonable at all in terms of family. But if it were to happen, this might be the event that could be seen as the catalyst for her realizing that maybe what her family has shown her to do isnt actually right.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Originally Posted by ericberry14
i think i get what ur saying to an extent. Is it like the attitudes start with her parents, then are passed onto her sisters & finally onto her. And also her friends exhibit the same attitudes which just reinforce what shes been exposed to in her family life.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Well its not just the friends. Its a way the her family is as well. Not all of them. But some of them really set someOriginally Posted by ericberry14
ahh i get what ur saying here. but it sounds like u need to find a girl that thinks for herself as opposed to letting her friends dictate what she does in certain situations.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then she would be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and say they see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves then thats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what you weren't taught. For the fellas who had a girl with single friends, you know what I mean. They have the single mindset. So when they give advice, they don't put themselves in the others shoes. They worry about what suits them.examples. What I'm trying to say is, Her family is cool but they live how a bad team plays if that makes any sense. Take the Cowboys for example? Pro Bowlers across the board. But at times they lack team chemistry and leadership.
Its more like the Detroit Lions. The failure starts at the top with the Team management, then down to the coaching staff, & finally to the players.Thats right. Thats exactly whats going on. Your good. The attitudes were passed down and thats all they know. And since I'm like a new player coming in and trying share my views on how a team should be ran, I get flack for it..
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Man if only you knewOriginally Posted by Thugnificence
come on now fam whats with the shots at the raiders. They are a decent organization for the most part, they just have Al Davis, who is the only part that is really holding them back from improving more rapidly. but seriously all you can do is try to show her that you cant be selfish in relationships because they destines them for failure. just try to set a better example for her than her parents haveOriginally Posted by RKO2004
Yeah you are right. My family is far from perfect but I consider us a together family who supports one another. Since me and her got together I've had a hard time really jelling in with her family. They are cool peoples but the way things work and operate really blew me back because I haven't seen a situation like that in person. And their way of thinking has REALLY had an affect on our relationship pertaining to selfishness and only being concerned with herself at times. Its hard dude. I love her but I'm not trying to play for the Raiders eitherOriginally Posted by ericberry14
well like they say on NFL live about the Lions, you need to clean house starting at the very top to erase the culture that's in place. But that is much more realistic in terms of football, its actually not reasonable at all in terms of family. But if it were to happen, this might be the event that could be seen as the catalyst for her realizing that maybe what her family has shown her to do isnt actually right.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Originally Posted by ericberry14
i think i get what ur saying to an extent. Is it like the attitudes start with her parents, then are passed onto her sisters & finally onto her. And also her friends exhibit the same attitudes which just reinforce what shes been exposed to in her family life.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Well its not just the friends. Its a way the her family is as well. Not all of them. But some of them really set someOriginally Posted by ericberry14
ahh i get what ur saying here. but it sounds like u need to find a girl that thinks for herself as opposed to letting her friends dictate what she does in certain situations.Originally Posted by RKO2004
Na that wasn't even going through my head. Nor do I believe that. She seems to think/thought that if she agreed with my stance on it then she would be viewed as pushover. This is looking like tampering. What I mean by tampering is, people who know its causing problems continue to back her and say they see nothing wrong with it. Basically if y'all ever had someone who was taught a certain way that in life they should just look out for themselves then thats what I'm going through. Shes not a bad girl, but a bad frame of mind when it comes to dealing with people. I guess you don't know what you weren't taught. For the fellas who had a girl with single friends, you know what I mean. They have the single mindset. So when they give advice, they don't put themselves in the others shoes. They worry about what suits them.examples. What I'm trying to say is, Her family is cool but they live how a bad team plays if that makes any sense. Take the Cowboys for example? Pro Bowlers across the board. But at times they lack team chemistry and leadership.
Its more like the Detroit Lions. The failure starts at the top with the Team management, then down to the coaching staff, & finally to the players.Thats right. Thats exactly whats going on. Your good. The attitudes were passed down and thats all they know. And since I'm like a new player coming in and trying share my views on how a team should be ran, I get flack for it..
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damn fam i feel you on this one
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Originally Posted by dipped in butter
Shes Heartless.
I don't know if I'd go as far as that but sometimes it feels like she doesn't care anymore. Its one thing for you to know someone loves you but itsanother thing for them to show it and especially going through tough times.
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Originally Posted by RKO2004
Originally Posted by dipped in butter
Shes Heartless.
I don't know if I'd go as far as that but sometimes it feels like she doesn't care anymore. Its one thing for you to know someone loves you but its another thing for them to show it and especially going through tough times.
Yea she aint heartless, just stupid. I give it til Valentines day wit ol boy and then #** is gon hit the fan and she gon try to rekindle suttin. There was areason he was an ex in the first place but not your problem, it's 100% hers. From ur posts I can tell u hurt a lil but u hold no animosity toward her so uwin brah, regardless of the current circumstances. Listen to some Joe Budden any of the MM's or Halfway House.
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Sorry for the long read.
UPDATE:
OK so let me take y'all back a bit...
March/April:
A new dude she was cool with and her became friends. OK so everything is cool at first. She used to always text me on her breaks and lunches while at work.Then it got to a point where it just stopped. So at first I didn't mind. I was just chillin. Then I found out they be textin crazy and pretty much havingbetter convos then me and her. She would just sit there blank on the phone or barely text me. So there was a void being made. So I had finally had enough whenI found out they were texting until 2,3,4 in the mourning and also when I found out they were getting crazy close. So it got to a point where she was treatinghim better than me
. Our friends and her Mom even tried to tell her shewas going a little too far with their relationship.
Fast forward a few weeks. My Grandfather died from a heart attack which shook me to the point where I thought I was having them
. So during that week she finally tells me that she has feelings for the dude andshe doesn't know what she wants. She said she wonders if there are better guys out there then me(THE ANSWER IS NO
). She basically caught feelings for him because He basically told herwhat she wanted to hear pertaining to her career and life. So we got pasted that and thing were cool for a while...
June/July:
She hits me with "I don't care about that stuff anymore. I just want to have a normal life(Non celebrity lifestyle where I would either have to barelysee her or follow her around). After that I'm finally feeling comfortable again. I'm thinking "wow she'd rather have a normal life (being adoctor and possibly doing music/acting on the side) and have a family".
So July rolls up and BAM! American Idol is coming to Louisville and everything she said goes out the window. Once again she doesn't know what she wants todo. I'm sitting there AGAIN "Dang what happened to I need you and all the other fancy lingo?". So I start asking her how would we see each otherwhen I have school and obligations here (Family, getting my body in football shape, College and work)? She hits me with "you can come with me. Itspossible to do that stuff there". Basically at this point I'm being asked to up root myself and live in un-certainty while she chases her dream. Ify'all ever seen Carmen (The one with Beyonce) she basically wants me to do what dude did. So we continue to argue, I argue my side about seeing each other,staying close to family/friends and other obligations that are going on here. She argues that she always wanted to do this and that's her passion. So Isaid OK go but I can't guarantee that I can put up with that lifestyle and that may lead to a break up. She then says she doesn't want to go if shedoesn't have my full approval. I insist on her going and I tried to break up with her to releave her of myself because I felt I was just holding her backat this point and I can't live up to what she wants.So that's the end of that... or so I thought...
The past 2 weeks:
About a little over two weeks ago she sees her ex in Mickey Ds. I'm like
"that's... nice". So that Saturday her friend has a party and she tells them to invite some people in their phones. So she invite himand some others I guess (Not me because I'm not really the party type and I don't have a car to get up there anyway). The ex shows up, boom bam wam theend of that. The next day she told me about it and my first thought was "Who does that? Who invites their ex somewhere when they are currentlyinvolved?". Her response was "We're friends and we ended on good terms."
. We argued and argued and we got passed that or so I thought... Come Christmasshe makes plans with her friend to go to IHOP. Keep in mind I tried to chill with her 5 times the past two weeks and she's busy with doing other stuff 4 ofthe 5 times. So later on that day, they make plans to go skating and she invites the ex. So I'm wondering "why did she make plans with him theminstead of me?". Her explanation was "He is the only one who can teach me how to skate". I'm still wondering why she didn't try tospend time with me on Christmas. She said "I didn't feel in the Christmas mood. You would have had a problem with him any other day. There are otherdays to spend time together". At this point I'm
so I broke upwith her because I got tired of the B.S.
So today she texted me and basically admitted she was kinda using him as a feel in. She asked him if He would have went with her to American Idol and he saidyeah which contributed to her stiffing me recently. She says she still she wants to be with me but after all this man
.
UPDATE:
OK so let me take y'all back a bit...
March/April:
A new dude she was cool with and her became friends. OK so everything is cool at first. She used to always text me on her breaks and lunches while at work.Then it got to a point where it just stopped. So at first I didn't mind. I was just chillin. Then I found out they be textin crazy and pretty much havingbetter convos then me and her. She would just sit there blank on the phone or barely text me. So there was a void being made. So I had finally had enough whenI found out they were texting until 2,3,4 in the mourning and also when I found out they were getting crazy close. So it got to a point where she was treatinghim better than me
Fast forward a few weeks. My Grandfather died from a heart attack which shook me to the point where I thought I was having them
June/July:
She hits me with "I don't care about that stuff anymore. I just want to have a normal life(Non celebrity lifestyle where I would either have to barelysee her or follow her around). After that I'm finally feeling comfortable again. I'm thinking "wow she'd rather have a normal life (being adoctor and possibly doing music/acting on the side) and have a family".
So July rolls up and BAM! American Idol is coming to Louisville and everything she said goes out the window. Once again she doesn't know what she wants todo. I'm sitting there AGAIN "Dang what happened to I need you and all the other fancy lingo?". So I start asking her how would we see each otherwhen I have school and obligations here (Family, getting my body in football shape, College and work)? She hits me with "you can come with me. Itspossible to do that stuff there". Basically at this point I'm being asked to up root myself and live in un-certainty while she chases her dream. Ify'all ever seen Carmen (The one with Beyonce) she basically wants me to do what dude did. So we continue to argue, I argue my side about seeing each other,staying close to family/friends and other obligations that are going on here. She argues that she always wanted to do this and that's her passion. So Isaid OK go but I can't guarantee that I can put up with that lifestyle and that may lead to a break up. She then says she doesn't want to go if shedoesn't have my full approval. I insist on her going and I tried to break up with her to releave her of myself because I felt I was just holding her backat this point and I can't live up to what she wants.So that's the end of that... or so I thought...
The past 2 weeks:
About a little over two weeks ago she sees her ex in Mickey Ds. I'm like
So today she texted me and basically admitted she was kinda using him as a feel in. She asked him if He would have went with her to American Idol and he saidyeah which contributed to her stiffing me recently. She says she still she wants to be with me but after all this man
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Seems like she loves you man, but DO NOT GO RIGHT BACK TO HER.....
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The ho is confused.
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Damn i was thinking he was just worming back in and beat/will beat those guts, but she the one that brought him back in. A "feel in", smh, tell herfeel these nuts and keep it moving.
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after all of this you still care for her?
