I literally Don't Understand Dead Beat Dads

[wayniac211]

So if the state didn't step in and be so one side in domestic disputes, what would think would be the result

That would be interesting IMO.. I can see both parties maybe coming together and making peace but then again we as men are dominant in nature and some have no self control

 

[Maximus Meridius]

Simple solution, think of who you bust inside of before hand, blaming the system and policies is no excuse,

This is what I be telling some of my boys. Some times I try to stay out of it but some dudes need to hear it. I know this dude that got some broad off of POF pregnant... lol. Son met her on there and a few weeks later he hit it raw with no dambs and now he's going through hell with her. Of course women deserve blame for these situations but as a man Ima control what I can control. I know if I smash a girl raw I'm taking a risk. Dudes gotta be smart about who they put their seeds in.

 

[brandon3000]

If you're a father, it's crunch time. I can't understand how you sit back and let the childs mother worry about where the child sleeps, what they eat, how they conduct their time, etc.

I know planning a child is rare, but if people just showed a little self control the youth wouldn't be so ****** up. Dead beat dads are truly low lives and it's sad because a lot of time they didn't have fathers themselves. Sad cycle.

 

[htg designs]

self worth.
most ****** dont know what
that really is or see the value.....

 

[kingkoopa]

I see NT moralist have showed up in full effect.

Most yall don't even have kids

I think dead beat is thrown out the too much, all circumstances are different

 

[slighted]

Financially the government plays the role of a providing father shall the dad walk away, majority of these single mothers sometimes don't even have to work...I know of unemployed women with 3 kids, all deadbeat dads, living pretty lavish for her circumstances, just off government assistance...blows my mind

Glad this was raised. Know quite a few old friends from grammar school who intentionally play the game by getting knocked up (by random dudes) and being supported by the gov't. The new American Dream, right?

Not all women are victims, bruhs.

 

[brandon3000]

Financially the government plays the role of a providing father shall the dad walk away, majority of these single mothers sometimes don't even have to work...I know of unemployed women with 3 kids, all deadbeat dads, living pretty lavish for her circumstances, just off government assistance...blows my mind

Glad this was raised. Know quite a few old friends from grammar school who intentionally play the game by getting knocked up (by random dudes) and being supported by the gov't. The new American Dream, right?

Not all women are victims, bruhs.

Women may get $ from tax returns, but month to month I don't think EBT and all that actually helps them that much. A kid costs something ******ed like $250K from 1-18. No way would it ever be worth it to raise clothe and feed a child for govt assistance.

 

[cedric ceballos]

First off sneakerheathen is making some real good points in this thread.

Now on the whole idea of women shouldn't let any guy hit raw, and guys shouldn't smash everything raw. Both are valid statements. This may sound wrong, but women need to be more responsible then men in these situations. Its messed up, but a man can smash 5 women raw, knock them all up and dissapear and live his life like nothing ever happened because he can't pregnant. The woman can so she needs to be more responsible with who she sleeps with because shes the one that has a baby in her stomach for 9 months.

Another thing that's unfair is that if a woman gets knocked up and doesn't want to have a kid, she can have an abortion even if the father wants to keep the kid and is willing to take care of it. The father has no say whatsoever. In king koopas post earlier, he talked about how a dude he knew knocked a one night stand up. He offered to pay for the abortion, explained why it wasn't a good reason to have the kid and let her know what the deal was but she didn't as much as listen to this guys reasoning.

But on the parenting stuff, I'm totally aware its alot of things working against the guy in these situations, flawed children's courts etc, but I think the guy should make the effort to be there for their kid even if they don't get the time with them they want.

I had a nasty falling out with my bm's a few years back. Things are still pretty messed up and she used my son as leverage to spite me. I was lucky my son was a little older when this all happened but from my personal expierence, I didn't stop putting the effort in to see him. The point here is that he's 12 now, and he tells me that he sees through alot of the stuff his mother has done and he's always trying to come over and spend time with me.

Dealing with a messed up bm's is a huge hassle and a burden on any reasonable man. But kids get older and if you handle your business and make the most of whatever time you have with them, at some point their going to see through the nonsense the bm's pulled.

 

[kellyrep]

I hate when people just blame the girl. Consider too, that men put pressure on women to not use protection because of how it feels for them. I broken up with a guy over the same thing.

 

[kingkoopa]

I hate when people just blame the girl. Consider too, that men put pressure on women to not use protection because of how it feels for them. I broken up with a guy over the same thing.

 

[celticspride34]

I hate when people just blame the girl. Consider too, that men put pressure on women to not use protection because of how it feels for them. I broken up with a guy over the same thing.

I agree with this statement... But it's still your responsibility to say no... You have to have control over what happens to you and your body... Especially with someone you just met that night...

And I'm talking about consensual activities... Rape and molestation are obviously different cases all together....

 

[gwap]

 
I hate when people just blame the girl. Consider too, that men put pressure on women to not use protection because of how it feels for them. I broken up with a guy over the same thing.

birth

control

?

 

[fontaine]

Women may get $ from tax returns, but month to month I don't think EBT and all that actually helps them that much. A kid costs something ******ed like $250K from 1-18. No way would it ever be worth it to raise clothe and feed a child for govt assistance.

Yiu dont know how much these chicks are getting, bruh.

 

[Master Zik]

 

The same logic deadbeat dads use to rationalize abandoning their own seed is the same logic snitches use when they aren't willing to handle the consequences of their own crimes

Snitches tell on ppl they did the crime with or tell on ppl they did past crimes with or if they know that someone murdered somebody all to get a pass or a lesser punishment.


Deadbeat dads simply don't give a ****. They're not trying to pass off their responsibility on the next man, they're just ignoring it and continuing to do w/e they want.


I don't see how that logic is the same. Random comparison.

Engaging in an action and then having another person bear the brunt of the consequences because they can't handle it...

Pretty clear.... Both use cognitive dissonance in their reasoning of avoiding unwanted responsibility.

I disagree with that definition applying to deadbeat dads.

That might be the reality but I don't think a deadbeat dad is thinking about any of that at all. Where as a snitch makes the conscious decision to roll over on the next guy. That other party who may not face any consequences at all because they weren't caught. The ppl being snitched on can get off scott free which plays in to the snitch's decision to tell on them so he won't face the brunt of the consequences. I really don't see the cognitive dissonance being used by the snitch unless some prior agreement was made that if anybody gets caught you'll have to shut up and take it

It's as simple as a group of bank robbers hold up a bank and in the process kill several hostages. The robber that's about to snitch who got caught only killed one hostage while his partners killed others. If he doesn't snitch he's taking several murder raps for every victim while his partners get away free with the money.

A father bailing on some chick he knocked up is abandoning the shared responsibility of raising a child either together or through co-parenting or shared custody. The father isn't facing the choice of leave or raise the kid by himself. This is where I fail to see a reasonable comparison between the two.

dude's kid hasn't been born yet, yet feels like he can pass judgement on all dads already, no matter the circumstances.

Well it's not like those dads were ever parents to their children.

He's passing judgement on deadbeats. Not all dads. I'm pretty sure you can do that without having any children on the way.

Last time i checked it takes two people to have consensual sex. So yes it is partly a woman's fault for becoming impregnated. She allowed him to go inside of her with no protection.

That's true. So, then why blame the woman? The only reason why I put it that way cause dudes are in here talkin bout it's the woman's fault. If a man wanted to strap up ain't nothing stopping that but himself.

Them dudes are agitators.

at least you weren't left In a dumpster

smh at some of you individuals giving any understanding into why cats refuse to take care of their responsibilities.
wonder why the system caters to these females?? That's because the system raised that child. So much progression would occur in our society, only if we handle our responsibilities as fathers

The reason why it gets understanding is because it's easy to comprehending.

Understanding =/= Condoning.

If you're immature and irresponsible who wouldn't want to live a life where you get to always be immature and irresponsible. It's pretty much understanding how some children act.

And it goes both ways in life period not just this topic.

 

[kellyrep]

 
birth

control

?

Doesn't protect against disease.

 

[Master Zik]

I hate when people just blame the girl. Consider too, that men put pressure on women to not use protection because of how it feels for them. I broken up with a guy over the same thing.

You a dude though. You can't even have kids.

 

[superb]

There is an equal amount of deadbeat babymoms as well.  My baby mom left our son at 2 years old !! She dont do jack for him

 

[kellyrep]

Yiu dont know how much these chicks are getting, bruh.

Here in the DMV some can get as much as 7,000 back. But shoot, daycare is over a grand a month for one kid. However, some still use the system for childcare expenses too.

Still not worth it in my opinion.

 

[brandon3000]

Women may get $ from tax returns, but month to month I don't think EBT and all that actually helps them that much. A kid costs something ******ed like $250K from 1-18. No way would it ever be worth it to raise clothe and feed a child for govt assistance.

Yiu dont know how much these chicks are getting, bruh.

A coworker and good friend of mine has a couple kids. Lives with her mom and used to out-sale all of us but shorty was only getting like $60 in assistance and no child support from dude she had the kids with. She used to kill it in sales too and one day she straight up told me her situation. Another girl I dated for a couple years was literally only getting $17 down here for one kid in Atlanta. It's not like you have a child and magically the government showers you with money or puts you up in a flat like they do in London.

Beyond all that though, you don't know what I know my g.

 

[kellyrep]

I agree with this statement... But it's still your responsibility to say no... You have to have control over what happens to you and your body... Especially with someone you just met that night...

And I'm talking about consensual activities... Rape and molestation are obviously different cases all together....

I'm saying , some guys will go that low . I know for a fact.

I also wouldn't sleep with someone I just met.

 

[DrizzyNYC]

Because guys have no say so if she keeps the baby or not but are on the hook for child support and don't have a fair chance in parental court....

Some dudes tell the chick not to keep it, they don't listen and they put themselves in these situations.
You can tell what kind of dude you got and if he will be around for your kid....

 

[DrizzyNYC]

Financially the government plays the role of a providing father shall the dad walk away, majority of these single mothers sometimes don't even have to work...I know of unemployed women with 3 kids, all deadbeat dads, living pretty lavish for her circumstances, just off government assistance...blows my mind

Liar,
People always tryna make it seem like folks on welfare living lavish lives. I grew up in the hood, I know better from this and have seen first hand this isn't true....

 

[brandon3000]

I dated this girl from Cali who had a kid. She told me the guy she got pregnant with as a teen was doing the same thing with multiple women. He provided nothing and no one but his mom would even reach out to check on her. Its beyond me how guys can be that careless, or a woman can be that trusting knowing she doesn't have BC. But I think it really comes down to parenting and education about the flip side to sex and all that "passion" when you're young. Day care, food, clothing, toys... **** is no joke

Financially the government plays the role of a providing father shall the dad walk away, majority of these single mothers sometimes don't even have to work...I know of unemployed women with 3 kids, all deadbeat dads, living pretty lavish for her circumstances, just off government assistance...blows my mind

Liar,
People always tryna make it seem like folks on welfare living lavish lives. I grew up in the hood, I know better from this and have seen first hand this isn't true....

this. lot of truly ignorant people in this thread coming with unsubstantiated facts about how government assistance works or about how much assistance people get because you heard from someone who heard from someone. I urge you, if you don't know first hand about something like this, please don't spread your ignorance.

 

[mangudai954]

having kids with a piece of ish deadbeat female is an l..
I gave my kids a horrible mother. Thats my L...I fd up so ill take my lost like a man and raise my kids. Yeah I struggle but idgaf I handle my kids. My conscious wouldn't let me ditch my kids no matter how much it is an inconvenience and it is a huge one..

That's how I mean it....

That's some real ****.

 

[solefood229]

[emoji]128514[/emoji] them TANF checks ain't ****, my aunt literally gets 30 bucks from her child's father every other month, he only pays when they're about to suspend his license.


Watch who you rawing, that goes for men and women.


If the person you're ******* has tendencies to be an ain't **** person, large chance they'll be a deadbeat parent too