Husband of almost 4 years, known her most of my life. Time to let her go...:(

[capricorn1229]

wow. just gonna divorce her like that? no marriage counseling? no therapy?


where is the love? for real.

 

[benssick]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

At the end of the day, your spending the rest of your life with her and not your parents.

true 

 

[letsgetit22]

I don't think I will ever turn on moms for a broad

. Especially if she is the one who has the problem with my mom not the other way around. 

 

[Sir San Diego]

Damn...

Before you throw in the towel though. Lemme share my experience in a similar situation.

I had beef with my in-laws for a minute. My step-mother had beef with my wife. It was all over dumb +**% that got blown out of proportion. In my wife's case it was my mother being possessive of her son and upset over the fact that I didn't marry a black woman. In my in-laws case, it was them being upset over the fact that I was out in the streets too much and being a dickhead. All that was over 2 years ago and today you couldn't tell there was ever a problem.

My wife and I both grew up. She stopped telling our business to her folks and I stopped acting like I was still single. Our folks saw the bs we had to endure when we separated... I moved halfway across the country and it was the worst. During those six months I missed my wife and kids to the point of depression. I lost a lot of weight and +**% just got bad all around...

Anyway, we got back together slowly. It didn't happen overnight, but we both grew from it and our folks respect that we are together now.

If I could have done anything differently (could've done a lot differently actually), looking back, I would've sat down with the respective parties one on one and addressed the issue like a man instead of letting +**% spin out of control with the he said, she said.

It's sad that most marriages end this way now.

If you love her make it work. If you've known her that long, trust me when I say, you'll never find anyone who you feel as comfortable with and all the P in the world ain't gonna make you feel better if you know you could've done things differently.

Take you time and think it through.



edit: My step mom came to SD a month or so ago and gave a really nice toast to my wife at dinner. It was like we all closed the chapter officially and moved on. Felt good man.

 

[illwill8710]

Originally Posted by xsalvioutlawx

Originally Posted by iLLbanianKid13

She feels that they dont respect her and she's not welcomed, we're usually close to family and come from different countries with different backrounds. I've been in the states for 11 years now..we've known each other for such a long time since we were kids. My parents are cool now they dont have a problem with her or me I just want to help them, be there for them like they've been for me and my brother helped me with everything.

You're a grown *!* man now. Your job is to take care of your wife first not your parents.

Truth

 

[oakridegonee]

Ur parents want to buy a house and put you in a hard situation where you have to choose between them and ur wife thats selfish of them.
live your life b.

 

[los angeles fresh]

should have married your parents instead of her

 

[mr j 858]

OP have you, your wife and your parents had a real face to face serious talk ? It sounds like you need to have one and clear things up and set straight whatever the problem is between them and your wife.

If that dose not work you should seriously consider seeing a marriage counselor.

Don't throw away and give up 4 years and the future of your marriage so easily.

 

[thenewjs23]

Originally Posted by xsalvioutlawx

Originally Posted by iLLbanianKid13

She feels that they dont respect her and she's not welcomed, we're usually close to family and come from different countries with different backrounds. I've been in the states for 11 years now..we've known each other for such a long time since we were kids. My parents are cool now they dont have a problem with her or me I just want to help them, be there for them like they've been for me and my brother helped me with everything.

You're a grown *!* man now. Your job is to take care of your wife first not your parents.

Yep, thats whats wrong with marriage today. Priorities. Your wife comes first bro.

 

[jasongilmore]

OP, I do not know how old you are, and i know nothing about your family unit. But a male (at least in my experience) generally puts his wife and new family before his parents....
If it's not a financial thing(e.g. you needing financial support) then you can always maintain your relationship with your wife while aiding your parents financially.
Now if you are not close with your wife or you two are having problems, then that is a different story.

You have a commitment to your spouse, but it's not all on you, she married you also. For it to work, it is imperative that she compromise and be considerate of your needs.

 

[danzinreallife]

Originally Posted by Oakridegonee

Ur parents want to buy a house and put you in a hard situation where you have to choose between them and ur wife thats selfish of them.
live your life b.

This.


You should live your life with your wife OP, if you can help out your parents on the side then great, do that. If your parents want to buy a home then they should seriously consider what they actually need and what is actually within their means.


I know I wouldn't be keen on living with my future husbands parents if they wanted a house and he wanted to help them. I'd much prefer it if he put away money to help them with their mortgage. Hell I might even be inclined to put aside a portion of my own income to help them too. I'd be proud that he wanted to do that but no grown married woman wants to live with her in-laws. You guys should be making your lives together. Not with your parents there, living in the same household, too.

 

[jj jumpman 23]

Pretty much agree what with everyone has said already. On an off note, i like your glasses OP.

 

[mr jordan04]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

At the end of the day, your spending the rest of your life with her and not your parents.

 

[anathema]

Why is it necessary for you to move in with your parents to help them out? You can still help them without living in their basement. I don't know your whole situation, but leaving your wife over something like this seems extreme and unnecessary. And also, why do you live separately from your wife?

 

[tim teufel]

Albanian parents are pretty strict. I dated an Albanian chic for a year and she was a great girl but her parents controlled her life and never approved of her having a Spanish man. I felt bad for her cause they treated her like property so it had no shot to work out

 

[ill steelo]

Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

Damn...

Before you throw in the towel though. Lemme share my experience in a similar situation.

I had beef with my in-laws for a minute. My step-mother had beef with my wife. It was all over dumb +**% that got blown out of proportion. In my wife's case it was my mother being possessive of her son and upset over the fact that I didn't marry a black woman. In my in-laws case, it was them being upset over the fact that I was out in the streets too much and being a dickhead. All that was over 2 years ago and today you couldn't tell there was ever a problem.

My wife and I both grew up. She stopped telling our business to her folks and I stopped acting like I was still single. Our folks saw the bs we had to endure when we separated... I moved halfway across the country and it was the worst. During those six months I missed my wife and kids to the point of depression. I lost a lot of weight and +**% just got bad all around...

Anyway, we got back together slowly. It didn't happen overnight, but we both grew from it and our folks respect that we are together now.

If I could have done anything differently (could've done a lot differently actually), looking back, I would've sat down with the respective parties one on one and addressed the issue like a man instead of letting +**% spin out of control with the he said, she said.

It's sad that most marriages end this way now.

If you love her make it work. If you've known her that long, trust me when I say, you'll never find anyone who you feel as comfortable with and all the P in the world ain't gonna make you feel better if you know you could've done things differently.

Take you time and think it through.



edit: My step mom came to SD a month or so ago and gave a really nice toast to my wife at dinner. It was like we all closed the chapter officially and moved on. Felt good man.

good advice here

 

[DeadsetAce]

that's pretty sad.

 

[witnessmycalm21]

If you have your mind made up already then there is not point for advice.

But there is so much gray area when it comes to these things. It could go either way...

 

[kramer]

Do everything you can before letting her go, in 5 years and you guys worked through this you'll realize how worth it it was to stay together

 

[ualreadyknow23]

Originally Posted by jordansairmaxes

Originally Posted by ualreadyknow23

Originally Posted by jordansairmaxes

wife over parents? the fck? 

I take it you aren't married...



- Preciate it.

so... u would leave your parents in the dirt for your wife?

First off I wouldn't marry a woman that didn't have a good relationship with my parents from jump. I feel OP in that aspect as far as wanting to keep everyone happy and somewhat content. But with that said, if an issue arose where my wife and my parents had a fallout, no, I wouldn't divorce my wife. When he married that woman he took on a new life, seperate from his moms and dad. His first priority is to take care of his wife, not his parents. I don't think its a girl/parents issue, I think it's an issue where OP needs to realize he's grown and has to live the life that he chose with that woman.

Now I'm not too clear on the situation but will your parents be without a home if you don't move back in and help them? If that's the case and shorty isn't understanding then hell yeah, she gotta go. But if it's just that your parents want a new crib and can't afford it without your help, then they don't need to buy a new crib! No disrespect to you or your family and like I said I don't know the situation, but as I said earlier, you're grown bruh and MARRIED. Your responsibility is YOUR household, not your parents'.



- Preciate it.

  

 

[teamcharisma69]

Originally Posted by Mr Jordan04

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

At the end of the day, your spending the rest of your life with her and not your parents.

QFT

 

[illbaniankid13]

After the stuff she said to me about my parents, she's not worth it anymore. I'm gonna buy her a one way ticket burn the green card and erase the memories for ever.

Time to move on with my life, this is not healthy for me..even though she's a dime and all that but I guess it's whats in your heart.

I just had a big argument over her...I feel like beating the **% out of her..

I'm already on probation for simple assault in d.c, and anger management classes aint helping....i need to move on.

 

[agentarenas]

Originally Posted by iLLbanianKid13

After the stuff she said to me about my parents, she's not worth it anymore. I'm gonna buy her a one way ticket burn the green card and erase the memories for ever.

Time to move on with my life, this is not healthy for me..even though she's a dime and all that but I guess it's whats in your heart.

I just had a big argument over her...I feel like beating the **% out of her..

I'm already on probation for simple assault in d.c, and anger management classes aint helping....i need to move on.

This comment is solely based on what youve said/presented yourself as so far;
You dont seem like you were ready to get married in the first place.

Good luck to you and your fam sir.

 

[951guero]

Originally Posted by iLLbanianKid13

After the stuff she said to me about my parents, she's not worth it anymore. I'm gonna buy her a one way ticket burn the green card and erase the memories for ever.

Time to move on with my life, this is not healthy for me..even though she's a dime and all that but I guess it's whats in your heart.

I just had a big argument over her...I feel like beating the **% out of her..

I'm already on probation for simple assault in d.c, and anger management classes aint helping....i need to move on.

Be strong man and im hoping things will work for both
And member as soon as you lay hands on her; its game over down here
90% of the time the law is going to side with her; be careful with that

 

[illbaniankid13]

Back in 2007 Europe, Kosovo. 

My fam