Hinge Takeover >>> Tinder, Bumble Pof

Johnny cakes said:
New story:

I had a work conference about 3 and a half hours away from where I live over the weekend, so what do I do?  A week prior I set my zip code for that location on POF so I can line something up for there. I hit it off with this slim white girl with big double Ds. We get the talking and I let her know I'm coming up there for a conference and would like to spend time with her, she is geeked and starts throwing out hints that we gonna get nasty. She sends me noodz, TONS of them, shorty was in love with herself. Her facebook page is a thirst trap and averages 500 likes a pic from dudes who look like they are fresh out. So anyway, it's the perfect scenerio, I don't know the area so I tell her to set up some spots we can go to. So she suggests this yacht dinner party she saw on groupon, so I say ok cool, copped. So she meets me at the telly and she looks right, better than her pictures. The only problem is, shorties mannerisms is like she has no soul, she was so dry and her energy was just blah..Nothing like it was on the phone. So despite that, we head over to the boat party. Mind you, I'm starving, when we get there, the dinner is literally a cold cardboard looking SLICE of pizza for 5.00..I'm pissed thinking there was actually food there. So the boat sets off and I tell her lets go outside, it was the perfect weather, a nice breezy night. She tells me she gets sea sick and can't go outside onto the deck...now I'm looking at her like ummmm what the f****, didn't you suggest we do the BOAT PARTY...I asked her why did she suggest it if she gets sea sick..Her response..."IDK". At this point I want to strangle this chick but I ride it out. So we stay inside the boat like some weridos while everyone is outside making love and having fun. The boat docks and we get back to the telly..I had a few drinks in me and I was pissed so I straight up jump on her, we are getting ready to do our thing and I was trying to find the hole...It was like not there..So she grabs my D and places it inside this extremely tight spot (no not the bunz) located in a strange location.. it's like her vagina was reupholstered, word to yeezy. It felt so wrong, but so right..So after I finished making love to this alien vagina of sorts, she told me she had cervical cancer and they cut out a tumor and a plastic surgeon pretty much rebuilt her vagina. Before anyone says I had sex with a post op transgender, she has 2 kids and she has pics of herself pregnant on facebook :| so pretty much the next day I go to my conference and leave out and never seen her or talked to her again. Despite the few annoyances, the alien sex was good so it was worth it lol.
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Until you mentioned the kids, I had assumed you put your meat into an inverted penis
 
Facts lol, homie got to be some pmf for real or just take godly pics lol.
 
All I want to see from these pmf lol what they pics selection is that they are using. Like are there any with them smiling or some group photo Steeze etc because I got a struggle 30 matches on soulswipe :lol
 
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KingFoamNYC said:
I can confirm wavies handsomeness
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:lol. Thanks mane.

KingFoamNYC said:
This soul swipe **** is [emoji]128563[/emoji] wavycrocket wavycrocket teach me your ways b
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Keep it simple and witty.Be direct too. I try and exchange numbers within a few witty exchanges. Soul Swipe would be better if there was more engagement though. Chicks will match and message me....I respond, then they don't hit me back til a few weeks later or not at all.

Soul Swipe in DC though >>>>

I almost cought a body within like 10 mins of swiping some chick when I was out in DC recently.. I was too drunk and didn't text shorty :{. Told me she was going to link up with me at another bar....and take it from there :{.
 
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