Has this ever happend to you in a public restroom? Vol. Youre too close maaann!!!!

[mitchellicious]

Who wipes their butt standing up though?

 

[space doodoo pistols]

I hate when I get to the restroom, the only urinal open is the little Billy Madison gimmick. I'm 6'5", I can't wizz in that.

It's hilarious when people are taking leaks, washing hands, and all of a sudden from one of the stalls you hear whip cracks and black cats going off in the bowl.

 

[RustyShackleford]

Was in the public restroom in Penn Station. Packed house, in line for a urinal.. A friend of one of the dudes that was pissing walks in and tells him to hurry up, Amtrack announced that their train is boarding. Homeboy without thinking turns his entire body, dong included, towards his friend to respond. While doing so he accidentally pisses on the dude next to him. Homeboy that gets pissed on is like WTF, doesn't want to hear the apology, and starts pissing right back on dude. So while these fools are pissing on each other there is slash damage, and some other dudes get R.Kellyed. Now like 2 other dudes join in. Another guy zips up and runs, and one guy is pissing on the floor trying to avoid the water works, begging for the dudes to chill.

After they were done pissing the two original dudes start scrapping, wit their dongs in hand. . They were no punches thrown just tussling, wrestling, and some major sword fighting , word to Soul Calibur

man stop playin, aint nobody got that many damn hilarious experiences in they life, appreciate the stories, but come on 5

Brah why would I make this up? Lemme tell you, I documented my life because everyday from 2003-2011. Every even mildly funny thing that has happen to me I got written down somewhere. Wanted to be a comedian but my imagination is **** so I can't really make up jokes,

You probably got just as many funny stories as me but you have forgotten most of them. I got cases of notebooks filled wit funny stories, either I've experienced or heard from someone else

And I guess because of the way I tell my stories, the come off as pretty funny where as if other dude told it would not land the same

 

[dauldierce]

Just look down when you enter or listen. Most ppl are not bathroom ninjas.

I did that... til someone was like "hey im in here wtf" .. i just walked out... "O ok sorry sir" cuz i didnt see or hear anything.

 

[Master Zik]

Just look down when you enter or listen. Most ppl are not bathroom ninjas.

I did that... til someone was like "hey im in here wtf" .. i just walked out... "O ok sorry sir" cuz i didnt see or hear anything.

Whoa you not suppose to walk up to the stall door and look under. That's reckless. At such a close proximity you should be able to sense a person's presence just by passing by the stall.

I'm talking about when you enter the bathroom. Usually the set up is the sink is on one side and then the urinals on the other and next to the urinals is a row of stalls (unless it's a bathroom with just stalls) either way once you enter the bathroom there should be enough space from the sink to the stalls where you can just pretend to be tying your shoelaces so you can see if the stalls are occupied.

 

[dauldierce]

Whoa you not suppose to walk up to the stall door and look under. That's reckless. At such a close proximity you should be able to sense a person's presence just by passing by the stall.
I'm talking about when you enter the bathroom. Usually the set up is the sink is on one side and then the urinals on the other and next to the urinals is a row of stalls (unless it's a bathroom with just stalls) either way once you enter the bathroom there should be enough space from the sink to the stalls where you can just pretend to be tying your shoelaces so you can see if the stalls are occupied.

nope not where i go.... 2 stalls and 1 urinal and 2 sinks.. all packed in a 20x18 room.

hard to tell if anyone there..

i dont do dat.... walk up to it n look under.. where u get that from ?

 

[Master Zik]

Whoa you not suppose to walk up to the stall door and look under. That's reckless. At such a close proximity you should be able to sense a person's presence just by passing by the stall.
I'm talking about when you enter the bathroom. Usually the set up is the sink is on one side and then the urinals on the other and next to the urinals is a row of stalls (unless it's a bathroom with just stalls) either way once you enter the bathroom there should be enough space from the sink to the stalls where you can just pretend to be tying your shoelaces so you can see if the stalls are occupied.

nope not where i go.... 2 stalls and 1 urinal and 2 sinks.. all packed in a 20x18 room.

hard to tell if anyone there..

i dont do dat.... walk up to it n look under.. where u get that from ?

Well it's a small room okay but the way you set up that example made me think you were right at the door with the way the person responded. Cuz usually if you look down to see if anyone is in there, they shouldn't know you're doing it.

You right though, I know there's plenty other bathroom setups and sizes. Guess you just gotta wait around until you hear a sound

 

[salazaro44]

I find it funny when dudes go straight to the last corner urinal then pee sideways like thier hiding something.

 

[dauldierce]

i put my pants at ankles still. so i gotta use stalls.

 

[thadocta]

once my friend was taking a dump in a mall bathroom and i put my phone under to take a pic of him and he kicked my phone outta my hand and it slid across the stalls into some guys and the guy reaches down and hands me my phone

 

[mr marcus]

yall really fall for rusty ducktales

don't get me wrong.....dudes creative but chill 5

 

[maddog345]

Not really a public restroom story but still, this had me rolling when my homeboy told me:

My homeboy had a boss that whenever he would go to the bathroom would announce to the office whether he would be taking a number 1 or 2. The guys found it kinda funny but the females were digusted and complained to HR. HR told him he had to stop. He did, but instead he would play Montel Williams "This is How We Do it" from his phone whenever he was going to be taking a number two, if he was pissing he wouldn't say anything. So you would just see homeboy walk out his office, walk by everyone, and as soon as he hooked the corner Montel 's voice would drop and you knew he was bout to call in the AC-130 on the toilet bowl. Now this act by itself is pretty hilarious, but homeboy took it to new levels.

-One day he takes the office out to lunch at Fridays, he goes to the bathroom, 10 seconds after he leaves the table the music in the restaurant cuts off mid song and "This How we Do it" comes on the stereo. Apparently he knew the owner and had been setting it up

-Late night flight back to DC from a conference in Vegas, him and like 5 other people from the office. 12 am at night, plane is dark and everyone is sleeping. You hear the someone get up walk through the cabin, open the bathroom door and "This is How We Do it" blast for like 5 seconds before he enters.

-When people go out to lunch they usually hit the bathroom before going back to their workstations. Homeboy would hide out in the stall, wait for the bathroom to get packed. And all of the sudden you would hear "This is How We Do It" coming from a stall. Followed by a fart or long "Arrrrrrrgggg ahhhhhhhhhh"

-One time at the X-Mas party he got a cheap cell phone and put in the women's bathroom. Changed the ringtone, and would call it whenever he saw a ton of girl heading for the restroom. Dem bishes would be sprinting outta thee as soon as Montel's voice dropped. Took dem a entire hour to catch on too.

Middle aged white dude too, his troll game was off the chain.

Fam, it's too early to be laughing this hard

 

[dauldierce]

yall really fall for rusty ducktales


don't get me wrong.....dudes creative but chill 5

Nope his stories are all real.

 

[limonyfresh]

View media item 198849

hahaha

 

[41239]

Was in the public restroom in Penn Station. Packed house, in line for a urinal.. A friend of one of the dudes that was pissing walks in and tells him to hurry up, Amtrack announced that their train is boarding. Homeboy without thinking turns his entire body, dong included, towards his friend to respond. While doing so he accidentally pisses on the dude next to him. Homeboy that gets pissed on is like WTF, doesn't want to hear the apology, and starts pissing right back on dude. So while these fools are pissing on each other there is slash damage, and some other dudes get R.Kellyed. Now like 2 other dudes join in. Another guy zips up and runs, and one guy is pissing on the floor trying to avoid the water works, begging for the dudes to chill.

After they were done pissing the two original dudes start scrapping, wit their dongs in hand. . They were no punches thrown just tussling, wrestling, and some major sword fighting , word to Soul Calibur

man stop playin, aint nobody got that many damn hilarious experiences in they life, appreciate the stories, but come on 5

Brah why would I make this up? Lemme tell you, I documented my life because everyday from 2003-2011. Every even mildly funny thing that has happen to me I got written down somewhere. Wanted to be a comedian but my imagination is **** so I can't really make up jokes,

You probably got just as many funny stories as me but you have forgotten most of them. I got cases of notebooks filled wit funny stories, either I've experienced or heard from someone else

And I guess because of the way I tell my stories, the come off as pretty funny where as if other dude told it would not land the same

my bad brosef, i shouldve thought of that, my lil bro writes down every dream he has, hes been doin that since 99, idk why i didnt think you could be doing something like that

 

[nocomment6]

Dude. my Johnson does not work when another dude is close by, Its like I have to piss like a mad man but I get to a urinal and a guy comes in and stands close to me, I cant get my leak out for the world. So I usually just go into a stall.

word.

 

[venom lyrix]

Not really a public restroom story but still, this had me rolling when my homeboy told me:
My homeboy had a boss that whenever he would go to the bathroom would announce to the office whether he would be taking a number 1 or 2. The guys found it kinda funny but the females were digusted and complained to HR. HR told him he had to stop. He did, but instead he would play Montel Williams "This is How We Do it" from his phone whenever he was going to be taking a number two, if he was pissing he wouldn't say anything. So you would just see homeboy walk out his office, walk by everyone, and as soon as he hooked the corner Montel 's voice would drop and you knew he was bout to call in the AC-130 on the toilet bowl. Now this act by itself is pretty hilarious, but homeboy took it to new levels.
-One day he takes the office out to lunch at Fridays, he goes to the bathroom, 10 seconds after he leaves the table the music in the restaurant cuts off mid song and "This How we Do it" comes on the stereo. Apparently he knew the owner and had been setting it up
-Late night flight back to DC from a conference in Vegas, him and like 5 other people from the office. 12 am at night, plane is dark and everyone is sleeping. You hear the someone get up walk through the cabin, open the bathroom door and "This is How We Do it" blast for like 5 seconds before he enters.
-When people go out to lunch they usually hit the bathroom before going back to their workstations. Homeboy would hide out in the stall, wait for the bathroom to get packed. And all of the sudden you would hear "This is How We Do It" coming from a stall. Followed by a fart or long "Arrrrrrrgggg ahhhhhhhhhh"
-One time at the X-Mas party he got a cheap cell phone and put in the women's bathroom. Changed the ringtone, and would call it whenever he saw a ton of girl heading for the restroom. Dem bishes would be sprinting outta thee as soon as Montel's voice dropped. Took dem a entire hour to catch on too.
Middle aged white dude too, his troll game was off the chain.

this is the best one ever.

 

[Mark Antony]

Yup in the Verizon Center. I'm looking all the way down the line like wtf my *****?

 

[T Lo Sweater]

Who's the one in yours too

Alysha nett

 

[Mark Antony]

What's so bad or weird about another dude peeing right next to you?

Nothing if that's his only option. If it's ten urinals long though and it's just you two, **** is creepy.

 

[airjordan jb23]

 

[gaseousfashion]

Urinals are a great place for awkward moments.

That story about the R. Kelly audition is wild. Sounds like it could have been in a movie.

 

[pharelfor3]

the absolute worst