Its weird but, when I don't take valium I don't feel right. Nothing interests me and am unhappy. I went a few weeks without any and notice how down I felt so I popped a 5mg and I feel like myself again, its strange. I feel happy, minds less clouded. Do I keep taking it? Ive been on off it for a few years and ppl say its not good to take for a long time, but what if it makes me feel like 100% better and I enjoy life with it? I wish I never had to take it but I do
Benzodiazepines are unfairly demonized. Those drugs help people, who have acute anxiety (panic attacks) and generalized anxiety (existential doubt and angst), enjoy a much better quality of life.
In your case, you seem unusual because in your case benzodiazepines help you with depression and anhedonia (an inability to feel pleasure). Benzodiazepines alleviates suffering but normally in also cause the patient to sleep not long after taking the pills.
While I would recommend against drug dependence, perhaps benzodiazepines will really help you. Try to find a sympathetic psychiatrist or general practitioner who might be able to accommodate you. I would also suggest taking Valerian, Kava and even chamomile teas and extracts. Those herbs might allow you to reduce your anxiety and you can avoid the downsides that come from benzodiazepine addiction.
Good luck
As far as my confession is concerned. My fiancee and I are both huge
The Wire fans. She is a red headed lawyer and I am a pale man with dark brown and curly hair. We have role played and reenacted the McNulty and Pearlman scenes. We planned it out where I visit her at night and I ask about how to clone a pager, she tells be about the "exhaustion argument." We ad lib, we make love and when we finish we recreate the dialogue from the season 1 episode.
We also impromptu did the season 2 sex scene. I had a bit too much Jameson but unlike McNulty, I was able to get it up for "Pearlman." Obviously we did the season 1 episode 12 bit where Pearlman felt "drunk" as soon as D'Angelo started to snitch on everyone. We did not bang in a public parking garage but her private driveway worked just fine.
We have also done some Game of Thrones scenes. Furthermore, if Halo 5 or 6 has Chief and Cortana knocking boots, best believe that I will wear my old, green paintball armor and she will find her purple body glitter.