Confessions

been a while since i got some yambs. truth be told i was trying to avoid em to find something consistent but htats not shaping up quick enough either so its a double L.

see where this goes.
 
My dad was pretty much not part of my life.  However, my Grandmom and aunt on my dads side of the family always kept in touch with me and sometimes I would spend weekends with them playing with my cousins and having fun.  That all stopped by the time I was 13-14.  I don't feel bad about my dad not being there, I feel bad that My Grandmom is always asking about me, and my aunt emails me telling me to call but I never do it until a couple days maybe weeks later.  The problem is that I don't feel like I know them well enough, and I am just not comfortable talking to them or just calling out of no where like I would do with family members on my Moms side of the family.  I don't have a real relationship with any of my dads side of the family, but when I was young they all looked out for me, spoiled me and all that.  Sometimes I feel like I am wrong for not keeping in contact with them, even though they show that they care so much and ask about me all the time.  
 
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- especially since i'm quite small, i'm TERRIFIED of my ex boyfriend's friends. there are two sides to every story, and i understand that they're being biased, but they don't know the things he did to me.
- the said ex boyfriend above put me through alot of verbal & emotional abuse over these four years and i'm still dealing with the effects of that.
- dude straight up left me for another girl he was flirting with (now his current gf) in november. sometimes, i'm ashamed at myself for not having enough self respect to leave. and sometimes, i wish i could have done something to make him stay :smh:
- i'm still in love with the dude, no matter how much i try to deny it. first love, man. i'm whipped. :smh:
- i think i smoke and drink too much for my own good. i guess it's my way of coping with my problems.
- i've been suffering from PTSD for four years, since i was 16, leading me to have really bad depression. even worse, i was recently diagnosed with an anxiety problem. i never got help for it until this year because i thought i was just going through a teenage angst phase. i'm turning 21 in a few months and it's totally ruining my life right now :\.
 
jbpkickz said:
alot of that stuff sounds like my gf now, she had a horrible past, especially with her ex, dude was a fukc boy to the 9th degree, only thing i can say is dont let him define you. he did what he felt was right even thought it may not have been. never think there was somthing you could have done to make him stay, once us males make up our minds its pretty much a wrap, sounds like u got lucky that you got out honestly
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Thanks dude :smile: yeah, I learned the hard way that I define myself. And yes, I'm glad I'm out because its like a big weight being lifted off my shoulders since he always made me feel like crap.
 
I just finished up my first semester of college with a 1.76 GPA (and it will get even lower if I don't make up a math final that still won't bring me anywhere close to passing the class) and I haven't told a single person in my family yet. When they ask me how school is/how my grades are, I just him them with "Alright."

I spent all of the first semester just BSing with my suitemates that I just automatically clicked with. A couple of them are heavy smokers, and I used to smoke once in a while in High School so I spent the first month and a half pretty much in a state of never being sober. I skipped class all of the time, but made sure to get the notes from a girl that I quickly became friends with who had the same schedule as me.

I hadn't even handed in more than two assignments across the board until the last two weeks prior to finals. :smh:

My single mom is working herself, quite literally, into an early grave to pay for tuition and keep herself afloat/give me everything that she can (I don't ask for much, I buy my own sneakers/clothes/games/etc. with money that my family tosses me occasionally/during holidays. I'd maybe squeeze her for a $20 here and there to make up on something I want to buy like 3 times a year) and I am letting her down tremendously by not putting in an equal effort.

I need to finish the year with a 3.0 GPA to keep my scholarship and stay enrolled in the School of Math program and even if I do everything possible (somehow receive a 4.0), it still won't be possible for me to get where I need to be by summer vacation. I've been avoiding thinking about it, but when I do; I start to stress.

WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?!

Felt good to get that all out in words.
 
Jking0821 said:
- I am sleeping with a girl i absolutely hate just because she is attractive
- I wish i would have never attended a private university. I will be paying for it and being cheap until i am 40 years old
- I feel like i have no interests out side of soccer and the gym
- I wish i could read better. Sounds dumb but i swear my reading comprehension level is that of a 9 year old. I read 4 pages of something and have no clue what i just read. I just stare at the words and say them in my head but nothing ever sticks.
- I am deeply afraid of rejection on some "how dare you turn me down" type steez
- My ex and i broke up about 2 months ago after 6 years together and I don't think il ever get over her
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I'm with you on so many levels my dude. My g/f of 7 years left me last feb. I still love her to death. I don't think I'll ever get over her. I dream about her at least 3x a week. She's pretty much abandoned me like I don't exist and moved on to a new dude. I even sent her a Xmas present SMH and didn't get any sort of reply back.

I'm seeing this girl that's real nice. Good looking but crazy. In the sort term it works but she is not "wife material" she's visiting next week and I'm going to smash but I need to drop that and try to find a wife.

I'm 28 and i feel so old.

I also want to move on to a new job since I'm getting really fed up with he direction of my current company.

My roommate and I are in similar fields and I feel I'm superior to him I every aspect he's about to do a pitch for a new IP and I'm 100% sure I could do it better and be more successful at it.

I don't have any student loan debt but I really want to buy a home. I know that I can't accomplish this I Cali because of the cost of land so it's going to have to be out of state :/.

I've got 40k saved up but I don't want to do it alone. So sad that all I want is what I used to have and now I'm just wallowing in sorrow recently.

I'm pretty drunk right now and idgaf.
 
i banged a stripper for $2 back in august and posted it on facebook and now girls won't even talk to me
ohwell.gif
 
MJGREATXII said:
-I feel like I haven't been happy in months.
-Just had my 3 year anniversary with my girl, and I don't know if i even smiled that day.
-I'm working real hard at school, but not getting many results.
-Ive hit a recent streak of bad luck: car broke down, (just fixed it), macbook broke (harddrive took a hard hit), phone broke, got a red light ticket, food poisoning. :frown:
-My birthday is Wednesday, and i really couldn't give a crap.
-The temple shooting is laying heavy on my heart for some reason.
-My bro is about to go to highschool, and I fear for his mental safety. (predominately white school, Kids always making jokes that are racial)
-Im away for College, but I miss my dogs :frown:
-I have a feeling that in the end I'll be alone, and I'm scared for that.
-I know nobody will respond to this.
-that is all
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DunkNForce said:
- I have plenty of free time but dont do as much self-improvement stuff like i wish i would (read, meditate, etc...)
- I have two dogs and play favorites with one. Kinda wish i didnt have the one because how much she cost and how stupid she is
- Being married has caused me to live check to check. Kinda pisses me off because before i had 22K in my bank account, could do whatever i wanted: save, invest and spoil her. Now that I am married, that 22k is gone, and were living check to check trying to catch up with bills.
- Im trying to sell off the majority of my kicks collection because i realize how useless and dumb it is to have 20+ pairs of shoes collecting dust in a closet.
- I did the whole long distance relationship thing for 2 years while overseas. Cheated countless times, told her all, we got married, but she still throws it out there from time to time. Ish really gets to me that i did her so wrong. STD for life, yeaaa, that sucks 2
- I wish i would use my TA and go back to college part time as i start another 4 years in the military but have trouble finding the motivation to sign up because i failed 2 classes before and had to re-up the $1500.
- Trying to have a kid the last year with no luck, time for a fertility test?
- Wife finally got a good job, but before hand when we would get into little arguments i always used to tell her that if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be no where and she would be back home with her mom. I can be such a ******g dbag
- I really dont deserve my wife, she holds me together and I should prolly tell her that more often. I going to after writing this confession.
Thanks for listening
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;( I listened , I read, I read everybody's in this thread
Just know that I read and I know who you are and what yur story is , I know your screen name and the story , just know that I love you guys and you guys aRe my brothers
 
It's so sad to see how much I relate to so much of y'all
Just know that I love y'all and keep that head up no matter what y'all
I'm in the same situation with my ex , still can't get over here
But lets not forget about us , lets not forget who we are , keep strong , stay strong , and sometimes it's best to act like their not there , act like it never happened and keep living with the head up , just take what you had as an experience for the future , for the next girl that comes up , you'll know what to do , how to run it your way , even better
It does suck tho . . It's hard to get over the 1 you love . . Real hard . .
 
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dunknF and MJGReat good luck with the significant others. I say communication is best.. Just broke up with my fiance 2 days ago made a post. I'm in here because i should be happy that i can mess with any girl i want, i have custody of my son, i got a house, i got two okay cars, i goto college which should help in meeting people, and i got a job... yet i feel empty... She just cant stop lying until this day she has to have some issues, i guess i want to help her because i love her... but i know i got to move on... i'll push myself several months later to stomach talking to a female, but right now i get sick everytime i see a female just feeling they just lie and do whatever to get their way regardless of who they hurt in the process.
 
Haven't hung out with any guys in +5 years..
Best friends betrayed me and I haven't made any new ones since..
Kinda hard to trust people now..
And I'm not in school or anything so it's hard to meet ppl..
 
I've writing music since I was 13.. And I can honestly say.. I think I'm really good.
Only career I have ever thot of pursuing.
Wife dosent want that lifestyle.
So I completely stopped.

Have no idea what else I wanna do.
 
Gordonson said:
I just finished up my first semester of college with a 1.76 GPA (and it will get even lower if I don't make up a math final that still won't bring me anywhere close to passing the class) and I haven't told a single person in my family yet. When they ask me how school is/how my grades are, I just him them with "Alright."

I spent all of the first semester just BSing with my suitemates that I just automatically clicked with. A couple of them are heavy smokers, and I used to smoke once in a while in High School so I spent the first month and a half pretty much in a state of never being sober. I skipped class all of the time, but made sure to get the notes from a girl that I quickly became friends with who had the same schedule as me.

I hadn't even handed in more than two assignments across the board until the last two weeks prior to finals.
mean.gif


My single mom is working herself, quite literally, into an early grave to pay for tuition and keep herself afloat/give me everything that she can (I don't ask for much, I buy my own sneakers/clothes/games/etc. with money that my family tosses me occasionally/during holidays. I'd maybe squeeze her for a $20 here and there to make up on something I want to buy like 3 times a year) and I am letting her down tremendously by not putting in an equal effort.

I need to finish the year with a 3.0 GPA to keep my scholarship and stay enrolled in the School of Math program and even if I do everything possible (somehow receive a 4.0), it still won't be possible for me to get where I need to be by summer vacation. I've been avoiding thinking about it, but when I do; I start to stress.

WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?!

Felt good to get that all out in words.
Click to expand...
Famb. Ok... two main things here:

I can tell you're a good dude because you actually care. I've seen people be happy with 1.7 GPA's, even though that's BARELY scraping by. My first semester at LSU, I BS'd to the MAX. I did much worse than you. After you get those grades, it all settles in. You need to get your act together. I just recently stopped smoking altogether. It isn't worth all the extra BS that comes with it. After graduating from Tulane University last May and looking for jobs, it just got in the way of the process. Clear your head and focus on school. It's ok to smoke here and there, have a drink or whatever, but don't let it interfere with ANYTHING. Once it does, you're fxxxxng up.

Your mom sounds like a nice woman. She's paying your tuition. I wish my mother paid my tuition for me. You should feel privileged famb, real talk. Nothing will make her more proud than hearing her baby boy is killing the grades in college. Get those grades up and share them with her. Go tell her that you struggled your first semester and that you feel horrible because she's busting her hump. Promise her that you'll bring them up because you feel she deserves that and more. Trust me, that'll make you push even harder, and you won't even feel forced. You'll WANT to do it. 

Good luck with errythang famb.
 
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CashusClay said:
Famb. Ok... two main things here:

I can tell you're a good dude because you actually care. I've seen people be happy with 1.7 GPA's, even though that's BARELY scraping by. My first semester at LSU, I BS'd to the MAX. I did much worse than you. After you get those grades, it all settles in. You need to get your act together. I just recently stopped smoking altogether. It isn't worth all the extra BS that comes with it. After graduating from Tulane University last May and looking for jobs, it just got in the way of the process. Clear your head and focus on school. It's ok to smoke here and there, have a drink or whatever, but don't let it interfere with ANYTHING. Once it does, you're fxxxxng up.

Your mom sounds like a nice woman. She's paying your tuition. I wish my mother paid my tuition for me. You should feel privileged famb, real talk. Nothing will make her more proud than hearing her baby boy is killing the grades in college. Get those grades up and share them with her. Go tell her that you struggled your first semester and that you feel horrible because she's busting her hump. Promise her that you'll bring them up because you feel she deserves that and more. Trust me, that'll make you push even harder, and you won't even feel forced. You'll WANT to do it. 

Good luck with errythang famb.
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You have no idea how much I appreciated this famb. I want to rep you a million times, but I'm over my limit at the moment :lol:.

I haven't been able to sleep at night since I've seen my grades, and it's driving me into a state of light insanity and depression. I really, truly needed that fam.
 
^a way to possibly get the GPS above 3.0 by the end of next semester is to look into "historical repeats" or something that's equivalent to that. You can take any class over and file a form that will completely replace the grade in your transcript. So whatever classes you failed or got a D in, take them over and actually do good this time and then it'll completely wipe out the old grade and your gpa will only calculate the new grade. It might end up costing you an extra semester since you're wasting your time taking old classes instead of new ones, but you could potentially take extra classes every semester moving forward to make up for it since you're only a freshman. Better than losing a scholarship. Talk to your advisor and they should definitely be able to help you out. You don't have anymore room to blow it though.
 
PugLife said:
^a way to possibly get the GPS above 3.0 by the end of next semester is to look into "historical repeats" or something that's equivalent to that. You can take any class over and file a form that will completely replace the grade in your transcript. So whatever classes you failed or got a D in, take them over and actually do good this time and then it'll completely wipe out the old grade and your gpa will only calculate the new grade. It might end up costing you an extra semester since you're wasting your time taking old classes instead of new ones, but you could potentially take extra classes every semester moving forward to make up for it since you're only a freshman. Better than losing a scholarship. Talk to your advisor and they should definitely be able to help you out. You don't have anymore room to blow it though.
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isn't a D still passing?, cause i got a D in more than one class, but i can't afford to bring them up because i got more classes to make up.
 
-my daughter arrives in march and I feel like I'm not ready :/
-I have no idea what I'm doin with my life
 
Damn fambs im glad i made this thread, most of the time especially with males we hold alot of **** in. that stuff eats away at you but as men were supposed to persevere cuz of how stadards are.ive been thru some messed up **** in mt life but some of yall are going thru things i never could imagine. all i can say is keep your head uo because nothing bad lasts forever, if you want to pursue something then do it. only you can fix your problems because unfortuantly most people are azsholes and dont care about our fellow people.
with that being said, my girl is pregnant and we both just lost our jobs, im praying i get this new job monday because it would literally save our lives. i have anger issues and my girl is bipolar but shes the only woman that has ever held me down, shes the most beautiful woman ive ever seen to me and im not gonna mess it up like i did all my other relationships. im worried cause my mom is getting older im 21 and shes 55, it hurts to see that she cant do certain things anymore :smh:
 
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