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Tonight is a big night for WWE. First, it's a 3 hour Raw (the 3rd in 5 weeks). Second, it's the annual (I guess?) Slammy Awards. Third, Wade Barrett will either reinstate John Cena or The Nexus will turn on Wade Barrett. And fourth, it is the go home show for Tables, Ladders, and Chairs PPV this Sunday night. So we have a lot going on. Let's start with the Slammy Awards. The past few times we've had the Slammys, it has been used to lay the ground work for WrestleMania (specially with The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels). However, I just don't see that happening this year. I don't think WWE even knows what they're going to do for WrestleMania. Plus, to me right now there is not a compelling match that WWE can make that makes me want to pay $60+ for WrestleMania. If WWE is going to headline WrestleMania with Orton vs Cena, I can guarantee you that I will not be buying WrestleMania in 2011. I'm going to quickly break down each Slammy Award category.
Superstar of the Year
(Note: This is the only category that fans can vote. All other awards are decided by WWE.)
-- The Miz - He's been great, and if they had the Breakout Star award, Miz should win, but I don't see him winning Superstar of the Year.
-- John Cena - A person who has been fired will win your Superstar of the Year. Of course, by the point in the show where the award is announced, Cena will most likely be reinstated.
-- Randy Orton - WWE has screwed up Orton's character too much.
-- Kane - No one watches Smackdown, and he's involved in the worst program of the year.
-- Edge - See above.
-- Rey Mysterio - No one watches Smackdown, and he's done nothing to deserve this award.
Diva of the Year
The winner of a battle royal on tonight's show will win this award. Beware, as both Ashley and Maria won this award, and both were released the same year. Melina won last year and always has been close to being released many times. I have no idea what diva WWE is highest on right now. I would guess Natalya wins, and Melina lays her out after the match turning heel.
Shocker of the Year
-- The Miz cashes in Money in the Bank, becomes WWE champion. - Not sure how this is shocking. Everyone who wins MITB cashes in and wins the title.
-- John Cena loses and is forced to join Nexus. - This should win. In theory, it should have been a great storyline. In actuality, it made everyone hate Cena even more.
-- Nexus takes out McMahon. - Eh. A one segment angle that most everyone has forgot about.
-- Paul Bearer turns on The Undertaker. - Everyone saw this coming a mile away.
Knucklehead Moment of the Year
-- Big Show unmasks a bald C.M. Punk. - I guess Show will win since it's his award, but what a stupid moment to pick.
-- Santino Marella gets out-danced by Vladimir Kozlov - This was pretty funny.
-- Beth Phoenix eliminates Great Khali from the Royal Rumble. - I have no recollection of this.
-- Lay-Cool beaten by Mae Young - This was maybe the segment of the year on Raw. I haven't laughed so hard in a while.
Despicable Me Award
-- C.M. Punk sings "Happy Birthday" to Rey Mysterio's daughter. - This segment was awesome. Punk should win, but probably won't.
-- Sheamus attacks Triple H with lead pipe while The Game talks about Shawn Michaels. - This will probably win as it helps to continue to push towards HHH's return.
-- Nexus attacks Ricky Steamboat and WWE Legends. - This should not be included since it caused such serious damage to Steamboat.
-- Kane buries The Undertaker alive. - Uh, no.
Holy %&^*%&* Move of the Year
-- Kofi Kingston hits Drew McIntyre with leg drop off ladder through announce table. - I must have missed this one.
-- John Cena sends Batista onto a car and through the stage with two Attitude Adjustments. - I don't remember this one either.
-- Randy Orton delivers RKO to a flying Evan Bourne. - This better win. Awesome spot.
-- John Morrison dives off set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz. - This scripted spot took literally about 60 seconds to set up with little payoff.
Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year
-- Mike Tyson punches out Chris Jericho. - I remember Tyson knocking out Michaels 10+ years ago 100 times more clearly than I remember this.
-- Pee Wee Herman vs. The Miz. - It was funny until The Big Show came out.
-- Florence Henderson kisses Great Khali. - Eh.
-- William Shatner sings WWE ring entrances. - This was pretty funny but probably won't win.
"Oh Snap" Meltdown of the Year
-- Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s trophies. - Not sure how this is a meltdown.
-- Edge destroys the Raw GM’s computer. - Too stupid to even consider.
-- Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm with steel chair. - I have no idea how this is a meltdown.
-- Batista quits WWE. - Batista in the wheelchair = gold.
WWE Moment of the Year
-- Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels shake hands. - This should win. It's something most of us never thought we'd see.
-- Nexus debuts and attacks John Cena. - This is more memorable for Bryan choking Roberts with his tie.
-- The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in Michaels’s final match. - Great moment. Could win.
-- Kane wins Money in Bank, cashes in on same night. - Really? Nothing involving Kane is ever good.
WWE Match of the Year
Oh wait, this is World Wrestling Entertainment, so this is not a category because matches aren't important.
So there are the 2011 Slammy Awards. Each category is pretty cut and dry to me, but of course that means WWE will pick some other ridiculous option for the winners.
The big storyline for tonight is that John Cena has been such a terror to The Nexus since being fired, that The Nexus has laid down an ultimatum to Wade Barrett for tonight. Either Barrett rehires John Cena, or The Nexus turns on Barrett. It's just another chapter in a horrible constructed and executed storyline, one that had so much potential. When Cena is his normal character, I can usually get past his Superman booking crap. But here, WWE had such a golden opportunity to refresh not only Cena's character, but their entire product, and instead they were complete chicken****s because they were afraid to hurt merchandise sales or have ratings drop. I have news for you WWE, your ratings aren't very good anyway, with or without Cena as the top face on every show. Did they even consider they may draw more fans with a fresh angle of Cena has a heel? Probably not. So instead, Cena will be rehired tonight. I'm sure he'll have a match against Barrett on Sunday, and Barrett will continue to be made to look like an absolute fool Cena will continue to hock his lame merchandise and "Never Give Up", and nothing will change in the WWE Universe, other than my interest continuing to dwindle.
Two weeks ago, we had one of the best television main events of the year with The Miz defeating Jerry Lawler in a TLC match. They did very little to build on this last week. Lawler agreed to shake Michael Cole's hand, despite Cole costing him the title. Lawler did nothing to get over just how close he was to becoming WWE Champion or how much it meant to him. Instead, it was used as a weak segue to lead to a Miz vs Randy Orton TABLES MATCH at TLC for the WWE Title. I will guarantee you that interest would be at least double if they for once gave us something fresh like Miz vs Lawler at TLC. It's such an easy build. All they have to do is sell how close Lawler was to winning the title until Cole cost him the match. Lawler proved he could put on a great match. Fans would buy into it (just look at the live crowd's reaction), and it would be something new. Instead, we get Randy Orton in the main event for the millionth time in a match that is pretty much guaranteed to have a **** finish. Just as we saw last year with Sheamus and Cena, the tables match is used so the heel can win without the face having to job. I expect an almost identical finish this year. It's a shame The Miz can't go over clean in his first PPV title defense, but I guess that's how it goes when you're dealing with a <sarcasm>megastar</sarcasm> like Randy Orton.
No other Raw matches as of this moment have been announced for TLC. Possible matches are Daniel Bryan vs Ted Dibiase, Sheamus vs John Morrison, and Santino/Kozlov vs The Usos, but we shall see. TLC is exactly shaping up to be a must see show.
