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And no, I don't have balls, but I got something in their place. I'ma beat your a** at WrestleMania, and put my nuts dead in your face.
That was ATTITUDINAL!
Last week's Raw was once again built on strong talking segments to build WrestleMania, but very little actual wrestling of any meaning. John Cena started the show with his BATTLE RAP complete with this Word Life music, Mark Price throwback jersey, jorts, and chain around his neck. He cut a concise, four minute rap insulting and calling out The Rock. I thought it was very good. The Rock closed the show with his ROCK CONCERT. The Rock played the guitar parodying the song Jailhouse Rock insulting Cena. I thought the lyrics were somewhat funny, but it was way too goofy to take seriously. I felt like Cena was angry, calling out The Rock. Last week, The Rock said he was 6'4" 265lbs that was going to rip Cena's throat out. This week he was in there being goofy and not taking anything seriously. If The Rock would have done this a month ago, I would have had no problem with it. But three weeks from Mania where Cena and Rock have already had heated segments, it just didn't work for me. It didn't do anything to make me care more about Rock and Cena at Mania.
Then things got worse... much worse. The Rock said there was only one way to end the ROCK CONCERT, only one song. We Will Rock You came on. The Rock had his own lyrics which were up on the Titantron karaoke style. The problem was, the lyrics were way too fast and The Rock couldn't keep up and completely butchered this. It was awful and left the crowd flat to end the show. It really made The Rock look bad, and The Rock has looked bad a lot of the weeks leading into Mania. The only difference was he wasn't supposed to look bad in this one.
Nothing has been announced between The Rock and Cena tonight. Cena was in a minor car accident earlier today in Philly when a tractor trailer rear ended Cena's SUV. No serious injuries, but they are playing it up on WWE.com. There was a picture of The Rock working out at the Eagles' training facility today. The Rock has promised a surprise for tonight's show. That's all we know. These two really need something big, without physical contact, to get people excited for the match in 13 days. Normally I would say Philly would be a very pro-Rock, anti-Cena crowd, but nowadays, who knows.
John Cena will be facing Mark Henry tonight.
Shawn Michaels told The Undertaker last week that he may not have been able to end The Undertaker's streak, but it was ironic that he's now the special guest ref and holds The Undertaker's fate in his hands. The Undertaker was once again off his game, getting WHAT calls and even saying that WrestleMania was on April 21st instead of April 1. As Michaels left, HHH came out on stage and gave The Undertaker a crotch chop. We are to believe that HHH and HBK are in cahoots. However, I would expect that tonight there is a swerve where HBK turns on HHH in some form, leading us to not know what side HBK is on going into Mania. Will he screw The Undertaker to end his streak? Will he screw his best friend because he knows The Undertaker is the better man? Will he call the match down the middle?
Tonight all three men will be in the ring together. At the time of writing this, it is scheduled to be the main event segment of tonight's Raw. Even though the segments haven't been clicking with the live crowds, they have been by far the strongest rated segments on television, easily outdrawing The Rock and Cena. In fact, The Rock's overrun segments have been very disappointing. So expect The Rock and Cena to either open the show or be the 10pm segment. Taker, HHH, and HBK will be on to end the show.
Speaking of terrible ratings, the CM Punk and Miz match last week lost an astounding 800,000 viewers. That is terrible, and it can't be blamed strictly on The Miz. After Punk beat The Miz, Jericho came on screen and told the world that the reason that Punk is straight edge is because his father was an alcoholic. This is a real life deal. However, I don't like it because it just feels like a dirty, personal storyline they are throwing out there to try and get more interest in the match. I really wanted this match to be based around the WWE Title and who is the true best in the world, but that seems to be out the window. Punk will get his chance to respond tonight. Punk hasn't spoke in two weeks, so he should have a lot to say.
As for The Miz, he will get another chance to win his way on to Team Laurinaitis. I don't expect him to win.
They are also teasing that Zack Ryder will join Team Teddy. Can't wait. Plus, probably more of this stupid loser simping over Eve. They'll show the Extra segment setting up the Mania match with Eve/Beth vs Kelly/Maria M.
We'll probably have segments with Daniel Bryan, AJ, and Sheamus; Big Show and Cody Rhodes; and Kane and Randy Orton. I still don't feel any heat between Bryan and Shmeaus. The storyline is focused on Bryan and AJ, and Sheamus is just some goofy babyface that is being pushed too hard.
They still have to announce Yokozuna to the Hall of Fame, so we'll see if his name is officially announced tonight.
