Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Unmarried?

[capricorn1229]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Capricorn1229

You yourself have said you are sexist so would you want your daughter to marry a sexist gentlemen? Remember your daughter is your pride and joy.

You have no sons.

Actually I want my daughter to want and appreciate a man that embraces manhood (which I am and are called sexist for). So to answer your question YES. I want her to marry a "sexist" (by the my definition) man.

I don't want her to marry a man that ignores gender roles and responsibilities. I want her to marry a man's man, not a metrosexual male.

So we are making up our own definitions to words now DC? You yourself said you were a proclaimed sexist. Please believe the definition of a sexistonce it leaves your mouth/hands(is typed) can't be regulated on how another individual acts. Think of racist tendencies.

You do know the definition of what sexism is and how a sexist acts is right?

sex·ism http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf
n.
1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.

2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

I'm a throw in what manhood means too...

man·hood http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf� n. 1. The state or time of being an adult male human. 2. The composite of qualities, such as courage, determination, and vigor, often thought to be appropriate to a man. 3. Adult males considered as a group; men.

So any man that wants a woman that is up to par...is a metrosexual male lacking manhood? I mean really why shouldn't those men have a women that is up topar regardless of race?

I see you firing a few shots at your NT brethen but your beliefs are your beliefs. They are interesting indeed I must say.

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by trapmuzik617

I personally blame Beyonce

please dont start that...

 

[dreaface]

It always better to get married later in life anyways... and this is only a problem for black women waiting on a successful black man... if your willing tolook outside your race there are alot of successful men out there. I personally would prefer a successful black man but after i get my career going. But hellif i cant find one i might just have to move down my list.

 

[eplaya06]

This thread is starting to take a turn for the worse now...

 

[blackmagnus514]

Like I said,

MAY. I don't know why I feel so strongly about her..but at the same time, I'm young and who knows what else is in store. This is why I don't botherto commit to anyone because I'm not a heartbreaker. VERY upfront.

 

[ravagebx]

Originally Posted by dreaface

It always better to get married later in life anyways... and this is only a problem for black women waiting on a successful black man... if your willing to look outside your race there are alot of successful men out there. I personally would prefer a successful black man but after i get my career going. But hell if i cant find one i might just have to move down my list.

That's reasonable. And I agree with getting married later on in life. What's the rush!? We're living better and living longer thanbefore. That girl in the video said she has white friends who were happily married at the age of 25. Well they're gonna be miserably divorced at the age of35 having to play the field, you can bet that. I'm not even thinking about marriage until 33+.

 

[ruxxx]

*whew!..........damn that was a long read,but a good one.*



^Dathbgboy and anyone else who has utilized this particular phrase in their posts.........what TO YOU is a "strong woman","strong blackwoman" or "strong independent black woman" or any of the other phrases that fall in that category.I'm not calling out anyone on the negativetip,it's just a question.

 

[superantigen]

Originally Posted by Capricorn1229

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Capricorn1229

You yourself have said you are sexist so would you want your daughter to marry a sexist gentlemen? Remember your daughter is your pride and joy.

You have no sons.

Actually I want my daughter to want and appreciate a man that embraces manhood (which I am and are called sexist for). So to answer your question YES. I want her to marry a "sexist" (by the my definition) man.

I don't want her to marry a man that ignores gender roles and responsibilities. I want her to marry a man's man, not a metrosexual male.

So we are making up our own definitions to words now DC? You yourself said you were a proclaimed sexist. Please believe the definition of a sexist once it leaves your mouth/hands(is typed) can't be regulated on how another individual acts. Think of racist tendencies.

You do know the definition of what sexism is and how a sexist acts is right?

sex·ism http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf
n.
1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.

2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

I'm a throw in what manhood means too...

man·hood http://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swfhttp://img.tfd.com/m/sound.swf� n. 1. The state or time of being an adult male human. 2. The composite of qualities, such as courage, determination, and vigor, often thought to be appropriate to a man. 3. Adult males considered as a group; men.

So any man that wants a woman that is up to par...is a metrosexual male lacking manhood? I mean really why shouldn't those men have a women that is up to par regardless of race?

I see you firing a few shots at your NT brethen but your beliefs are your beliefs. They are interesting indeed I must say.

Hold up--

did he really just parallel "manliness" with being "sexist" and/or borderling "misogynistic"...

I really hope y'all don't take this dude seriously.


...

 

[bluedeniro]

As a black man who dates college and working black women ages 18-26 i can tell that these women are never going to get married
i always laugh when i see chicks claiming that this dude is they hubby and dudes saying thats wifey. I for one know that i will be able to get
married without a problem. we should all have standards my standards are for women in general not just a black woman so there-for my options are
bigger and wider and the amount of women i have to choose from are all across the globe. Black women are gonna be singles ladies for another decade with theirhigh standards for American Black Men

they need to stop kiddingthemselves and get to traveling

 

[memphisboi55]

Then he leaves them for the " white " girl.

Now we ain't $+#+.

 

[blaz3n]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Blame the black man. It is all our fault.

This.

Black men aren't living up to standards and unfortunately the black women are and they are getting the job done.

I can tell you, I am getting the job done.

 

[djphame1]

i cant wait till im 30.. ill jus be pickin thru all these succesful black women.. us succesful lack men are so out numbered and i love it

 

[blackmagnus514]

At some point it goes beyond the blame game and personal accountability.

My homegirl stays getting frustrated about her situation and I tell her you're limited to what you know. I've been overseas and gotten play from women.I came back to NYC on some other $*!.....like these hoodrats aint cutting it.

 

[retro23j]

Originally Posted by bluedeniro

As a black man who dates college and working black women ages 18-26 i can tell that these women are never going to get married
i always laugh when i see chicks claiming that this dude is they hubby and dudes saying thats wifey. I for one know that i will be able to get
married without a problem. we should all have standards my standards are for women in general not just a black woman so there-for my options are
bigger and wider and the amount of women i have to choose from are all across the globe. Black women are gonna be singles ladies for another decade with their high standards for American Black Men

they need to stop kidding themselves and get to traveling

Exactly. Confining themselves to the 4 walls of their office building or city talking about I can't find a man.

 

[veryanalytical85]

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Originally Posted by jimmybeanz

Originally Posted by Nike Star Jay

A combination of high unrealistic standards and a slim choice of options.

fixed. for a woman to say she will only date dudes that are 6'4 or better (and other dumb chit like that) is ridiculous. too many people are getting "standards" confused with "preferences".

Cosigned.

And as the good brother Steve Harvey said in the vid, there's a lot of good men who are overlooked. It's funny cause the older and more successful I become, the more I see how f'ed up the dating situation is. A few years back when I got out of college I would meet all kinds of women and have to jump through all kinds of hoops to get the number. Buy a drink, talk some game, etc. All I have to do now is tell them I'm working on my JD

My boy who is black and a lawyer took me to his friends party (she was a black female) and I swear to everything I never seen so many beautiful black women in one room. They were all lawyers. I could tell from the convos in the room that they only dated within certain circles. This is the mentality that really works against black women. Men such as myself have a lot of pride. And if you weren't checkin for us before, it's a good chance we won't be checking for you when we've made it. Successful women feel like they need to marry successful men otherwise the imbalance in power can ruin things. Men can marry unsuccessful women and its still all good as long as there's love. I swear I can tell ya'll so many stories of situations that would just make you laugh at how screwed up the relationship dynamic is amongst black professionals. Unrealistic expectations indeed. Black women need to stop watching movies expecting Morris Chesnut to come sweep them off their feet lol.

^ I gotta say, but PREACH! I'm not Black (Asian FTR), but I feel this applies to all ethnicities across the board. Especially with those that I'vedated recently

. So many unrealistic standards and expectations, I get fed up from coming across all these types of girls (I need a woman). Also kudos, tothose who would set a good example for their daughters (if I were to ever even have kids) I would definitely do the same. On a side note, hope it works outBlackmagnus with you found. It seems everyone whose been having as much trouble as me finding a decent woman is now having their luck turn around. Maybe 2010,can bring some of that good luck...

 

[memphisboi55]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

At some point it goes beyond the blame game and personal accountability.

My homegirl stays getting frustrated about her situation and I tell her you're limited to what you know. I've been overseas and gotten play from women. I came back to NYC on some other $*!.....like these hoodrats aint cutting it.

True. Since i been in Air Force where there are multi cultures everywhere you turn.... You always see mixed couples. People step outside their circle and findhappinness.

 

[blackcease]

Originally Posted by djphame1

i cant wait till im 30.. ill jus be pickin thru all these succesful black women.. us succesful lack men are so out numbered and i love it

I'm not in a rush to be 30, but I feel what you're sayin

 

[bluedeniro]

But keep it 100 black Nt'ers black women just be on some other !$+ nowadays these chicks just be
doint the most outrageous stuff. Like having a phone full of F_ buddies and claiming that they friends
going out to clubs having one night stands every friday or saturday. Getting all confrontation with men and
figting over men thats not even really into them like that its so much story that needs to be told about how
these women were when they were in college and in their early 20's thats not being said real talk these women went
to college with black men i know they were dating or at least jockin these dudes and they still single
come'on son

 

[ravagebx]

Originally Posted by bluedeniro

But keep it 100 black Nt'ers black women just be on some other !$+ nowadays these chicks just be
doint the most outrageous stuff. Like having a phone full of F_ buddies and claiming that they friends
going out to clubs having one night stands every friday or saturday. Getting all confrontation with men and
figting over men thats not even really into them like that its so much story that needs to be told about how
these women were when they were in college and in their early 20's thats not being said real talk these women went
to college with black men i know they were dating or at least jockin these dudes and they still single
come'on son

 

[queencitysneakerqueen]

I'm hanging on to my eligible black man sheesh only 54%

 

[trapmuzik617]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by trapmuzik617

I personally blame Beyonce

please dont start that...

Why not?

 

[larryindiana219]

A lot of Black women are motivated to succeed because they have a chip on their shoulder from all the double standards and bullpoop they have to grow uparound. So when they finally make it, they feel "better" than how they view the role of being a wife.

 

[thefuture2236]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Man yall can fake if you want. A woman that can't cook or clean is a downgrade. Point blank. Women should do those things. Call me a sexist? I don't give a damn. MY woman needs to know how to cook and clean. If you want to have a shooting guard that can't shoot on your team, then be my guest. Don't take it as a diss or personal females. Just learn how to do it. What is the harm? Why is there an ego? It is pure laziness. And I hate when people rationalize it and say, "It is 2009, why do you still subscribe to gender roles." You have to bring SOMETHING to the table.

If I can do all of that by myself, why the hell do I need you female?

I agree with you on this right

QFT

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by trapmuzik617

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by trapmuzik617

I personally blame Beyonce

please dont start that...

Why not?

cuz she didnt cause this...ol girl had a few hit singles but lets be serious..she has nothing to do with these problems...those women who think like that weresimple before there was a beyonce and will be simple long after shes gone...

its just a stupid reason in a legit discussion of real problems...

A lot of Black women are motivated to succeed because they have a chip on their shoulder from all the double standards and bullpoop they have to grow up around. So when they finally make it, they feel "better" than how they view the role of being a wife.
i have to agree with this...black women are at the bottom of the totem pole...to be black and a woman is a double wammy...some of you will say weare least "feared" by white american but that doesn't get you more respect...like Rilla said when they do reach a point where they've"made it" they don't want to "go down" to being someone's wife...again...all opinion...

 

[fanatic15]

Originally Posted by dreClark

And mark my words, a lotta the women ya'll think are tough and hard to talk to....its because your conversation game is lacking. If I don't know something, I'll let them talk and feed off of it..but a lotta these women just wanna be understand and meet a guy who can talk bout a wide range of subjects. They may make a lot a year, but ya'll lying to yourselves if you don't think they want a dude in their beds @ night.

Dudes scared to ask questions. I been hit like that before, where I was having a convo and I didn't know wth hell she was talking about. But she seemed engaging/passionate about it so I just kept asking questions. Nobody knows everything. That alone will prolong the convo and show that you at least have some interest in her mind. Y'all can learn from eachother, but people don't understand that.

SOME Black men are intimidated by a successful, independent Black woman...
Any man worth his salt won't be intimidated, it's just some of the bs that comes along w/ this whole 'independent' #!#*#$@$ ain't worth putting up with. idgaf haw much bread she make or *$@ bad she is. Fact is, men/women can lose everything they have in a seconds, then what are they left with? Strip all the $$ and the accolades away and this is the true person that you are choosing to be with. So if this person ain't %*$% but a degree and some $$ then he she shouldn't be shocked when they can't find a mate.

I wasn't gonna comment, but I co-sign this man. That goes for anyone, there is nothing sexier than a man w/ a brain. Money/career isnteverything. And as for cooking/cleaning etc.

.
Like Mag said, if you TOO can't bring it to the table you have no business REQUIRING it from your mate.

Also, there is nothing wron w/ being a wife, but if that is ALL you want from a mate then you will have a problem w/ someone who wants to be more than that. If that is your preference fine, but that doesn't make her "wrong" for hers.

Last edit I promise lol. Why does everyone think it's supposed to be easy to find the "perfect mate". This ##@@ is supposed to be difficult.

That is all.

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