Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Unmarried?

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Capricorn1229

You yourself have said you are sexist so would you want your daughter to marry a sexist gentlemen? Remember your daughter is your pride and joy.

You have no sons.

Actually I want my daughter to want and appreciate a man that embraces manhood (which I am and are called sexist for). So to answer your questionYES. I want her to marry a "sexist" (by the my definition) man.

I don't want her to marry a man that ignores gender roles and responsibilities. I want her to marry a man's man, not a metrosexual male.

 

[blackmagnus514]

Another issue is that professionalism doesn't define you as a person IMO. Your job/degrees don't make you all of who you are. They are assets andthings that you possess...credentials..but end of the day, some of the smartest people do the ugliest things to humanity. Either you're a man/woman first,or you're not. No way around it.

As a college graduate, I can say that its something to be proud of no doubt..but it doesn't define me. I define myself but who I am, what has shaped me, mystrengths/weaknesses and my belief system.

I think as Black folks, we put a high value on education. Definitely no problem with that...but at the same time, social skills are needed to interact withpeople and to relate to them on a human level. I don't give a damn how many degrees a woman will have if she's a snobby, arrogant person.

And mark my words, a lotta the women ya'll think are tough and hard to talk to....its because your conversation game is lacking. If I don't knowsomething, I'll let them talk and feed off of it..but a lotta these women just wanna be understand and meet a guy who can talk bout a wide range ofsubjects. They may make a lot a year, but ya'll lying to yourselves if you don't think they want a dude in their beds @ night.

I also don't think women see money like how we males do.

 

[rudemiester]

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Another thing that is being overlooked is the fact that many black women think they can rely on genetics and our predisposition to "age well." That's unrealistic again. Many women I know from high school all the way on up through college have gotten into their late twenties and early thirties and have fallen off. Meanwhile most of my dudes are in good shape and are growing into their mature looks. Hell most of us are still approaching our peaks. So what the hell do we want with the stuck up chick who fell off or is one her way down? If we can't find a girl in our age range who is still on top of her game and successful best believe we will opt out for a young chick we can mold into what we want.

Boom.

Men will never have to settle. Point blank period. I'm not asking for money from no chick so I don't care about how much money she makin..It's thequalities and characteristics that come with holding down a career that attract me. Chicks have these od high standards and think they can wait...andwait....and wait for the guy that meets their standards to come along and dont realize that the attitude that they carry themselves with repels ALL dudes andnobody wants to marry a snob all because she has looks and cake. On any given night you can go out and find a sea of women who look and act better withouthaving to go through all that drama so why would I wanna wait on you to act right ma? Lose one, choose one.

 

[airmissionretro]

EDIT: I found a few books at b&N...thanks

So we have another one of these issues again?----I thought CNN touched this about a few months ago? I wonder if ABC did this topic cause of whats going on withTiger Woods?....hmmmmm


There are a lot of undefined variables and factors that lead to successful BW or (Women or even MEN) not marrying----just about everyone in this post mentionsthe reasons and there are copious more reasons that aren't mentioned. Everything is so subjective these days, so you can't take anything that thesewomen (or men) have for face value, especially when the media is involved like it is here with all these "Black Successful Women Not Getting Married"stories. It's whatever....


Also, I find it very shocking and disturbing that Willie Lynch's ideologies from over hundred of years ago about the black family and gender roles has comeinto fruition in the 2009 comming into the 2010.

It's a sad situation.

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by jimmybeanz

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by haiti5

Honestly, lets keep it real man.nobody is discussing the root of these relationship problems. What happened to the black family?! in the 1950s and 1960s we was good..then all of a sudden you see black men drifting away from their black families and black women becoming these scorned angry creatures. @$%! seriously.

that's a big part of it. So many women dont even know how to react when a decent guy comes along cuz they've never seen a relationship between and good man and a good woman. I think some of these women feel they shouldn't have to lower their standards as fas as what he does and how much money he makes because they've worked so hard to get where they are. Women across the board generally marry up and men marry down as far as status goes.

i'm glad you said that, myt. men have married down since forever. now that women are able to make (almost) as much money as a man, why can't THEY marry down? if we're both college educated, but you make $100,000 and i make $45,000, what's the problem? and i don't want to hear that "men can't stand women making more than them" cop-out.

WHY DO SUCCESSFUL MEN HAVE TO "SETTLE" FOR WOMEN MAKING SEVERAL TIMES LESS THAN THEM, BUT WOMEN DON'T???

First off let me start by saying i'm not a professional so right now money isn't that important as long as you're not in crazy debt with badspending habits. Second, I personally have never talked to dealth with anything but nice/good guys in my dating career so this is all my personal opinion fromobservations of other so dont try and come at me with that 'if you better decisions' BS. Generally men are providers. You guys will take less money aslong as she holds you down cooking cleaning caring for the kids. Not to say women are doing it on their own in a marriage but if she feels she's generallyhandling all that at home of course you're at least expected to bring home the money.

Like K said when you raise your status your standards for a mate will also.

 

[a hunnid]

As a black male, if one of these said women aren't bringing enough to the table then move around...

It's all about numbers, and they're actually in a black dude's favor. So if you're on your !+$ then it really shouldn't be too manycomplaints about this situation.

Most women have a cut off date where as when they reach a certain age, dudes don't want to be bothered when they can scoop up a younger tenderoni. And in alot of cases this doesn't apply to men. Especially the ones that are successful...

 

[southsidechi773]

Another issue is that some of these women are unapproachable and everything is a battle.

Talking to them almost feels like a job interview,it is so cut and dry, that any genuine attraction is lost with the quickness.

 

[tim teufel]

[h3] Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Unmarried? the whole 5 are unmarried? there arent too manyso who cares
[/h3]

 

[jimmybeanz]

Originally Posted by tim teufel

[h3]Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Unmarried? the whole 5 are unmarried? there arent too many so who cares
[/h3]

did you watch the video? have you read any of the posts? do you know any successful black women? trying to get your post count up?

 

[haiti5]

^^the hell are you talking about..getcho ignorant *++ outta here

 

[blackmagnus514]

EXACTLY A Hunnid,

My partner/best female friend talk about this ALL the time. Dating, especially in a city like NYC, is a ridiculous numbers game. The dys of settling with thefirst person you meet are done. Me personally. I believe I've found my future wife...but at the same time, I'm young and as I work hard, travel andsuch, who's to say that a higher power won't have someone else for me?

Remember, your dating options are limited to what YOU will go out and pursue. That's my attitude. Call it not settling. Its a big world.

Then again, women are faced with the double standard of sexual experiences. If a dude goes overseas, 9/10 he's gonna look for some box and doesn't needto feel a type of way. If a chick goes overseas, and gets some pipe, she may initially feel guilty or say some %!% like "a laady never tells" or some%!% like that.

 

[gambit215]

most of these women grew up with mom holding down the fort, what they dont realize is that their moms still loves their daddies

 

[club29]

Originally Posted by tim teufel

[h3]Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Unmarried? the whole 5 are unmarried? there arent too many so who cares
[/h3]

 

[ThaxbyChamblis]

And mark my words, a lotta the women ya'll think are tough and hard to talk to....its because your conversation game is lacking. If I don't know something, I'll let them talk and feed off of it..but a lotta these women just wanna be understand and meet a guy who can talk bout a wide range of subjects. They may make a lot a year, but ya'll lying to yourselves if you don't think they want a dude in their beds @ night.
Dudes scared to ask questions. I been hit like that before, where I was having a convo and I didn't know wth hell she was talking about. Butshe seemed engaging/passionate about it so I just kept asking questions. Nobody knows everything. That alone will prolong the convo and show that you at leasthave some interest in her mind. Y'all can learn from eachother, but people don't understand that.

SOME Black men are intimidated by a successful, independent Black woman...
Any man worth his salt won't be intimidated, it's just some of the bs that comes along w/ this whole 'independent' #!#*#$@$ain't worth putting up with. idgaf haw much bread she make or *$@ bad she is. Fact is, men/women can lose everything they have in a seconds, then what arethey left with? Strip all the $$ and the accolades away and this is the true person that you are choosing to be with. So if this person ain't %*$% but adegree and some $$ then he she shouldn't be shocked when they can't find a mate.

 

[alandutch]

Originally Posted by Club29

Originally Posted by tim teufel

[h3]Why Are So Many Successful Black Women Unmarried? the whole 5 are unmarried? there arent too many so who cares
[/h3]

 

[dathbgboy]

Originally Posted by Uptown Roamer

SOME Black men are intimidated by a successful, independent Black woman...

I hate to agree but this is it right here. We have too many Black men who fear a strong woman. They weak themselves so they want a weak women who they cancontrol. But that's w/ every race in some way also.

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

EXACTLY A Hunnid,

My partner/best female friend talk about this ALL the time. Dating, especially in a city like NYC, is a ridiculous numbers game. The dys of settling with the first person you meet are done. Me personally. I believe I've found my future wife...but at the same time, I'm young and as I work hard, travel and such, who's to say that a higher power won't have someone else for me?

Remember, your dating options are limited to what YOU will go out and pursue. That's my attitude. Call it not settling. Its a big world.

Then again, women are faced with the double standard of sexual experiences. If a dude goes overseas, 9/10 he's gonna look for some box and doesn't need to feel a type of way. If a chick goes overseas, and gets some pipe, she may initially feel guilty or say some %!% like "a laady never tells" or some %!% like that.

no one saw this but me? Black may have found a decent woman that he could trust enough to be his wife????

i knew anything was possible

good luck homie

 

[retro23j]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

I also don't think women see money like how we males do.

I DEFINITELY don't think a majority of them do but I'd just go off on a tangent with this.

From my standpoint a woman can have as many standards, degree's, positions, vernacular, w/e it is that will put her nose in the air visibly or not. Shestill a woman to me and I don't mean an inferior. From the video I see that they are all attractive with great jobs but that's not all there is to itfor me. When I date a woman I want to get to know HER. It's great to hear her tell me about her position at work and what you've obtained but I want toknow who the person is that had the desire and mindset to go after such success because that's what I'll have to mesh with if we decide to pursueanything.

 

[blackmagnus514]

Exactly. There's nothin more pathetic that single older woman who can't let go of the past. I just described my neighbor who stays talking $+* with mymoms.

 

[superantigen]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Capricorn1229

So for the black men in this post...how are you going to raise your daughters(if you have them) so that they don't grow up to be like the black women you find flaws with?

You have to break the cycle some way right? Remember though the society around us plays a part.

Those two parent homes are important so I hope you are still with your baby mothers or you pick a good woman to marry regardless of her race. A father figure holds just as much weight as a mother. What are going to do to stop this VICIOUS cycle in the home?

I will be present. That is the #1 thing men have to do to raise good daughters.

I will show her (through my interactions with my wife) how a man and woman should operate together.

I will TALK to her and be in her ear about the types of dudes she should deal with/stay away from.

She will see me as an example as how a man should be, so she really won't have to ask many questions.

So many girls NEVER had that example to follow.

YOU are NOT an example of how a man should be, though --

...

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

no one saw this but me? Black may have found a decent woman that he could trust enough to be his wife????

i knew anything was possible

good luck homie

Yea good work Black. Make sure you stay sharp and make sure she stays sharp

 

[jfdoom]

Originally Posted by SuperAntigen

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by Capricorn1229

So for the black men in this post...how are you going to raise your daughters(if you have them) so that they don't grow up to be like the black women you find flaws with?

You have to break the cycle some way right? Remember though the society around us plays a part.

Those two parent homes are important so I hope you are still with your baby mothers or you pick a good woman to marry regardless of her race. A father figure holds just as much weight as a mother. What are going to do to stop this VICIOUS cycle in the home?

I will be present. That is the #1 thing men have to do to raise good daughters.

I will show her (through my interactions with my wife) how a man and woman should operate together.

I will TALK to her and be in her ear about the types of dudes she should deal with/stay away from.

She will see me as an example as how a man should be, so she really won't have to ask many questions.

So many girls NEVER had that example to follow.

YOU are NOT an example of how a man should be, though --

...

and here we go

 

[trapmuzik617]

I personally blame Beyonce

 

[retro23j]

wow

 

[brandonb2005]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

spsfinest212 wrote:

---

Originally Posted by Nike Star Jay

A combination of high standards and a slim choice of options.

memphisboi55 wrote:

---

Too strong.
Too independent.
Can do w/o a man attitude.
No time for sex.
No time for nothing but their career.

oh god here we go AGAIN...

I would agree with these...

It's like those type of females standards are actually preferences. No they shouldn't have to lower there standards, but they need to compromiseand stop looking for the perfect man.
I date outside my race all the time, and most black dudes see that and would say something like "O, a black girl/women too strong for you ha?"
Not necessarily that, it just seems to me most black females have to get approval from their friends or loved ones to date you. Itslike they don't appreciate you for you! only what you have and can bring to the table. It's nothing wrong with that if that's how they think, toeach is own but you see where its gets them.

That's why I say Bunnies/Spanish Decent/Mixed girls FTW!