powerballin
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Good luck in life with that reasoning homie.
Whats the male equivalent to a 'girl with daddy issues'?
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shoelyesses
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exactly the metrosexual touchy feeling dudes... the oh im just compromising etc... the it aint tricking if you got it dudes... the oh we have a 50/50 relationship etc garbage... the last real dad i think i seen on tv was james evans... dudes like that damn near like the lemmings or the dodo bird
shoelyesses
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I would also like to add if it wasnt as important why would a entire nation (being this one the usa) went through great lengths to destroy the black household by eliminating the man out of the household and slowly remove the black man out of the black man?
Explain this then...It got to the point where it was damn near a criminal offense to have a male father figure or father in the household during a certain time in the usa for blacks...word to claudine
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Ok I understand you. I just don't agree with you. I'm not black, so I have no idea about that black household point. I do agree that a father is always needed.
shoelyesses
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at one point mainly when the big industrial push in america aka replacing minority workers with machines and/or shipping manual work overseas for more production/less wages... america implemented the welfare system..initially designed for minorities..it would supplement their families with food etc, paying bills etc... with the condition of no fathers being allowed to be in the home or be apart of the kids life (note the whole fathers rights/joint custody etc... aspect of the law didnt exist then) So women out of necessity to care for kids had to divorce/kick the husbands fathers to the curb... At one point there was a ghetto informant aka snitch, a woman who would essentially be paid by the govt...to report if they saw the fathers around and or still involved/living in the household.
So again if it wasnt that important i doubt a govt..would go thru the trouble of designing a system to remove the father and his influence out of the home. ppl generally dont go thru extreme lengths for things that are of unimportance.
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THANK YOU. i was trying to explain that in the welfare thread that the whole war on poverty was to keep people in POVERTY. keep them complacent and dependent as long as possible and give them votes to the politicians that "help" them.
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Man this needs to be said again. I hate how folks act like the worthless female is a modern day thing. They have always existed. Every black woman in the 70s wasn't an Afro-Puff Black Conscious individual. Not even sure how folks can't grasp that idea. Good post
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ANd he is saying that the, "A man can act like a woman and still be a man" mentality comes from the absence of a strong male figure in your life.
Yea you can chose to do whatever you want with you life, I understand that part but to just..............I will get banned. Let me stop.
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And it bothers me personally because I am a coach and I get so many boys raised by single mothers and these dudes are SO mentally weak. Oh my, it is frustrating. Quick to quit. Quick to give me BS reasons as to why they missed practice. And guess what, sometimes the mothers are enabling them to be quitters.
One dude's mother called me asking me why are they practicing on New Year's Eye. I didn't know that NYE was a holiday. What is that little boy doing on NYE that should cause me to assume he will be busy? ANd she routinely tells him, "Oh you can stay home today if you want if you don't feel like going to practice." I hate it. This woman never played sports before according to the father (they are split).
His father told her not to ever contact me again since she doesn't know what the hell she is talking about
One dude's mother called me asking me why are they practicing on New Year's Eye. I didn't know that NYE was a holiday. What is that little boy doing on NYE that should cause me to assume he will be busy? ANd she routinely tells him, "Oh you can stay home today if you want if you don't feel like going to practice." I hate it. This woman never played sports before according to the father (they are split).
His father told her not to ever contact me again since she doesn't know what the hell she is talking about
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All of you go look at this documentary on Netflix. They speak about how these women in public housing had to PROMISE and SIGN A CONTRACT that says they would not have a man in their houses. They would have people come around and check to make sure these men weren't spending sleep time with their families. It was not done by accident.
View media item 225013
shoelyesses
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what is even crazier ppl will dismiss my claims etc... and im like dude i lived in that time frame.... Its the same when ppl try to tell me everyone was with the civil rights movement fight the power, we shall overcome, etc.....movement/mindset. Im like um ok i think i would know seeing as i actually was ALIVE during the time. To be honest most middle to well to do blacks were either neutral, or while they werent against it they werent a purponent for it. And it was the poor blacks that got the ball rolling, then when things changed, those complacent ppl, and those as ppl would put it nowadays cornball/house n's was pushing ppl all the way to reap the rewards...
Really to be honest it was lowkey happening just as much as it is today, i mran you had the pressure/society influence of the a woman isnt a woman till she bare child, so many woman were out trying to get pregnant just to in a sense feel like they are a woman, then mix in the whole woman lib movement you had woman trying to have kids/work have a career to prove i am of equality of a man.
So while they werent on some roll my neck, talk to the hand, gum popping, mz ndapendant..jive. End of the day just because they were presenting themselves in a different light, end of the day the still had the i am a real woman cause i can have a kid(s) raise them, and still maintain a career, and be equally good at said job as any male counterpart..
I hate to derail like such, but another thing is the woman lib movement...another segment in life that contributed to i dont need a man in the household..the yea the man is stiffling my growth, and preventing me to achieve. Funny thing bout this is white woman had some validity in this due to white men saw their woman is docile and uncapable, and basically trophies etc.. Black woman who basically went along and were basically being used (seeing as you cant rise or come from a oppressed state if nothing is or has held you down) And they applied this same ration of thinking etc...to their men.
Thing is when has a black man tried to prevent a black woman from anything? Hell when has he had the authority or power to restrict a black woman? Even from a educational/career aspect...when has a black man every tried or even had the power to prevent them from rising etc...achieving? So they came home and took those ideas etc...to their household and applied it to their men, again mixed with the whole welfare movement, then the whole imma be a woman lib/revolutionist doing all the things that are socially different then the norm...aka go out have wild crazy sex with strangers... go out and purposely have kids to prove a point etc...
Only thing is white woman went at it to prove a point of if we wanted to we could do these things...we just choose not to and went back in most part the role of "woman"..black woman on the other hand went out to prove a point,achieved it and never looked back...(this is shown by the fact that despite usa biggest % of ppl is white woman, they are the lowest % in terms of college grad. and working force)
So to cats thinking this is some new finagle phenomenom...it simply isnt. Jst back then woman did it to establish themselves prove a point to society...and now it is accepted and become a social norm. Funny thing is in most part the goal of trying to prove to whites i am equal still in most part isnt accepted/believed, and in most part cost them the support and love from the black man.
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Or how folks will make you think that all basketball players in the 90s were better than the players today because they all played defense, were tougher, and worked harder. Right.
Generational biased statements KILL ME
Generational biased statements KILL ME
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shoelyesses
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thats why i said word to claudine... a movie with james earl jones that basically illustrated this... Funny thing is i remember john amos doing a interview and saying why was he removed from good times. To sum it up, the tv execs...basically said we from the start wanted to paint a picture, give a true depiction of the times...and at that time black men werent allowed to participate and be a part of the household. So to implement this into the show he had to basically be killed off...
So even on tv they wanted to make sure they made this known. And yea they did have to sign contracts...dudes were literally getting rodney king'd if caught being a part of their childrens life, couple that with woman getting monetary bonuses to essentially out other woman for having the dads around.
So i say all that to say cats really think they grandmas,mas are going to say...oh i was a horrid person who basically had kids..because our society deemed you werent a woman until you bore child, so i went out and had one... and due to economic hardships..i basically kept your dad away, and essentially threw him under the bus etc... or ratted him out got him incarcerated so i could have some extra money to get you that nes you wanted lol. Then you through in your bias towards one parent (for obvious reasons) society painting the picture of the black man in a negative light, then the crack epidemic etc.... You got a unfair depiction of what a black man is and comes across as insignificant/unimportant. Thus why you have dudes now saying oh it doesnt matter etc...
Which makes those guys grow up with a devalued mindset of themselves.... thus having this docile, im compromising, trying to be this liberal, new age understanding male, overall good person mumbojumbo bs... emo wanna be thug, putting p on a pedestal, im second tier to a woman mindset. aka simp, Aka the male with daddy issues.
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Y'all are dropping some real knowledge in here. Didn't even know all that...
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Shoes,
What do you say to statements like this.
What do you say to statements like this.
shoelyesses
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signs of someone who feel they are lesser than... a coping acceptance mentality. I aint doctor phil...and outside of helping out with a men life coach/rehabilitation org... and my little phys knowledge/training...this is exactly the mindset in which i was speaking of. I also forgot to mention esp...in the south, the father presence was pretty much replaced with church and the preacher...and oh god is my father bs... all tutelage to get around the acceptance and acknowledgment of a man is needed.
See we have became a unaccountable society, you basically dont have to accept ish and can work around anything nowadays. Humbleness and accepting ones flaws, insecurities, and growing and improving as a person is damn near nonexistent these days. Society now will pretty much coddle and tailor itself around your deficiency and pretty much make an acceptance...one would say to a point of making it a norm.
Like your example of those weak willed kids....nowadays its oh it isnt cause he doesn't have a dad...he is just being a emotional guy a more liberated guy bs... another diversion of the truth. Imagine if like those kids you described lived back in the civil right movement days...Oh i cant march its to hot, i just dont feel like it, those posters/signs/words i saw whites say on tv/posters/signs hurt my feelings..so im just going to be submissive and someone saying oh its ok...cause you are being a new understanding man...lol
Where would we be if the malcolm x's marcus garveys, etc....nat turners so on and so forth of the world were raised with this mindset? We basically would have a bunch of scared negroes...whispering this conversation on a plantation, while the white white man back is turned.
And i hinted on here and proposed this question before and never gotten an answer. Not to bash/hate on anyone..but the whole uprise of afeminine black men, and gays in general... If this is a so called born trait....genetics etc.... why their are absolutely no accounts what so ever of sex change/cd/homosexuality/bi etc... of negroids until they came to the federated states..(usa now but was that then).
Hell google history of african homosexuality...hit up your library...I challenge someone to show me any records historical accounts of this in african history that predate african american recent history. I mean their is a preponderance of evidence it was prevelant in europe aka whites ala valentine day amongst other historical evidence.
So are ppl saying the negroid always had this trait and somehow throughout the course of existance never showed up until they reached america? Ive heard of a trait being dormant and all..but come on. Dormant for thousand of years then all of a sudden start showing up like wildflowers.
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RE: Negroids and Sexuality
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good discussion. I think some of it is being bogged down in details. the point is there are some subtleties that you will miss if you try to make blanket statements or bring up bill gates. also, I don't think this is limited to just mom and dad. other males and females in your life can make up for the absence of a parent, like siblings and grandparents.
the personal account by knowledgebones72 illustrates most of what needs to be said. I can semi-relate because I know my mom exhibits similar traits. to her, the female way is the right way to deal with things (being passive, indirect, emotional, etc., playing life safe), which works as a female, but as a man it doesn't get you results or respect in this world. granted, there are many things my mom and other women have imparted in me that are incredibly useful and I am grateful for that. but the male instinct is not one of them.
lastly, 100% agreed on generational bias. humans are remarkably similar over time.
the personal account by knowledgebones72 illustrates most of what needs to be said. I can semi-relate because I know my mom exhibits similar traits. to her, the female way is the right way to deal with things (being passive, indirect, emotional, etc., playing life safe), which works as a female, but as a man it doesn't get you results or respect in this world. granted, there are many things my mom and other women have imparted in me that are incredibly useful and I am grateful for that. but the male instinct is not one of them.
lastly, 100% agreed on generational bias. humans are remarkably similar over time.
Gill Baka Esq. LLC.
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At the end of the day for me personally, If I had to choose who to raise me it would without a doubt still be my mother. If I had to choose between my parents being together or still split, I would still pick splitting up.
Thing is....female dandies have been around for a long time....with or without a male figure present.
While I agree that there are some things only a man can teach a son, I think we're giving the entirety of our fathers from these past generations who did/n't raise us too much credit.
In the end it's not whether a father was present or not, it's the quality of his parenthood that you should question. You can have a manly father all you want, but if his parenting skills ain't up to par reality would still be you sitting in front of the t.v. playing video games instead of taking you out a throwing a ball with you.
subconsciously you may still take that "I don't give a ****" attitude from him but what are you losing in the process?
I still most of the problem lay with the birds. We def have given them too much power and respect and it's due time to take that back.
Not in forceful way, but in a "I'm a man and i need a woman who knows how to be a woman and respect me as a man....I'll let you drive from time to time....when I need some sleep."
Thing is....female dandies have been around for a long time....with or without a male figure present.
While I agree that there are some things only a man can teach a son, I think we're giving the entirety of our fathers from these past generations who did/n't raise us too much credit.
In the end it's not whether a father was present or not, it's the quality of his parenthood that you should question. You can have a manly father all you want, but if his parenting skills ain't up to par reality would still be you sitting in front of the t.v. playing video games instead of taking you out a throwing a ball with you.
subconsciously you may still take that "I don't give a ****" attitude from him but what are you losing in the process?
I still most of the problem lay with the birds. We def have given them too much power and respect and it's due time to take that back.
Not in forceful way, but in a "I'm a man and i need a woman who knows how to be a woman and respect me as a man....I'll let you drive from time to time....when I need some sleep."
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What was it about him if you don't mind me asking?
shoelyesses
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true...but even that element is being missed nowadays... how much real wisdom are you gonna get from your 40 something y/o grandma who still clubs and has 2chains on their ringtone. Also it isnt the same balance of a father/mother if you got a mother several sisters...aunties, grandmas, moms females friends and coworkers etc... then that one male coach etc... male figure. Then whose to say he in a sense isnt a male with daddy issues? He essentially would be useless. and really would only be the sausage of the party.
He wouldnt be able to impart the ways/life experience of a man if he suffered from the same issues. And their lies another problem...their are woman who realize the importance of a man in a young sons life...and to compensate this they will just find any male... regardless if its a man or a male.
Gill Baka Esq. LLC.
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Well dude wasn't really meant to be a father. He slept around, he was a bit insecure, didn't know where his responsibilities laid. He was too much of a "man" if you ask me. He's paying for those mistakes right now though...but I still love dude and he tried and he's still gonna be in my life but he's stuck in his "man" ways. My older sis doesn't talk to him and I know that hurts him a lot.
If I wasn't a guy I wouldn't understand what he was telling me but because we're both guys I can see some of the things he's saying semi-sorta.
there are def. trade-offs to being any type of guy in today's world. I feel that you need to evolve as a man to fit your needs. Personally I'm in a stuck position because I deal with women all the time...Some I need to be nice to, some not, some you flirt with, some flirt with you, some you don't know what they're about....so you gotta end up playing all these roles.
My problem has always been giving women too much respect. what happens then is that some of them run with it and i then have to drop the hammer on them, make them feel stupid and then that relationship ends. i really do feel that women think they can get away with everything.
I'll give you an example: i haven't talked to my ex for about 8 months but she would regularly call (attention, check up on me) so I thought I was done with that...I took her number out of my phone so when she called me I didn't recognize the # and I picked up so I talked to her for a bit and then outta no where she calls me an idiot....she tried to play it off like she was joking around but I'm not gonna take that ****....it's a clear line of disrespect so I just told her to come correct or don't come at all and I peaced out. i could have rolled with the punches but she's not giving me anything so that business is done to me.
If I wasn't a guy I wouldn't understand what he was telling me but because we're both guys I can see some of the things he's saying semi-sorta.
there are def. trade-offs to being any type of guy in today's world. I feel that you need to evolve as a man to fit your needs. Personally I'm in a stuck position because I deal with women all the time...Some I need to be nice to, some not, some you flirt with, some flirt with you, some you don't know what they're about....so you gotta end up playing all these roles.
My problem has always been giving women too much respect. what happens then is that some of them run with it and i then have to drop the hammer on them, make them feel stupid and then that relationship ends. i really do feel that women think they can get away with everything.
I'll give you an example: i haven't talked to my ex for about 8 months but she would regularly call (attention, check up on me) so I thought I was done with that...I took her number out of my phone so when she called me I didn't recognize the # and I picked up so I talked to her for a bit and then outta no where she calls me an idiot....she tried to play it off like she was joking around but I'm not gonna take that ****....it's a clear line of disrespect so I just told her to come correct or don't come at all and I peaced out. i could have rolled with the punches but she's not giving me anything so that business is done to me.
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It varies, my friend has the weirdest one. He abandoned them, but they stayed close to his family, and he eventually came around... but he neeeever speaks to her. If they are at a family gathering, He'll speak to her mom, other family members, but not her. I dunno if dude is ashamed or what, and she's ultra tight with his parents. It's weird and I can tell it does a number on her even though she likes to think it doesn't. She doesn't know. So sometimes she'll act out, be anti-social or just say **** like "you'll leave like the rest of them" so every now and then i'll just eat it and stick around cuz she is a good person. We're not as close as we used to be, but I try not to stray far from her. It would be easy to just say forget this bird, friends come and go, but issues aside she's as close as my a-alike as I've come. Luckily she internalizes when **** goes down though, I never get that call at 3 am to come save her from some ********.
Gill Baka Esq. LLC.
formerly grimlock
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matter of fact my dad's dad died when he was 9 years old. but back in Guyana the mom's were really rough country women so I can see how he still had that aggressive presence in his life.
