what are the benefits for a man to get married?

The benefits are going to be subjective on the person and their situation.
There is no clear answer to that. Why would you marry a woman who is willing to destroy you and leech off you in the first place? Be objective and be smart about who you lay next to.


I think the main problem people have going into marriage is that they think its going to be all lovey dovey after the wedding day.

-Its work. Marriage is a job and you have to be willing to do it if you want to get married.
-The key is honesty and communication, even if it's going to hurt feelings.
-There are going to be days she pisses you off and vice versa but you have to put your pride aside and talk about it.
-Have a genuine respect for your spouse. The same way you respect your mom should be the same way you respect her. This dictates how you talk to her when you are pissed and frustrated with her. You can't call her names and she shouldn't call you any names.
- When you are depressed and are at rock bottom, she should be the one to pick you up and encourage you to keep going and vice versa.
-Patience and more patience
-Be honest about money
-Hold each other accountable
-I am a proponent of living together before getting married. You get to see her habits and she gets to see yours. If you guys are constantly arguing about small things then marriage is probably not going to work.

Most people are not willing to do all of this. Don't sign up for a job that you are not willing to do. I have been married for a year and half but I lived with my lady for 4 years before. It's been hard but it's also been the best time of my life. I have grown tremendously as a man and as a person. It's also awesome to be able to share success with her and also console each other through failure.
 
younghollywood said:
I dont know, I can only speak for myself and my own situation.  I don't even do 1 night stands like that no more unless i'm overseas but I do have a friends with benefits I guess is the way to call them.  I just don't see any appeal in monogamy or marriage.  I already have a son and daughter from 2 different women that I like, but I know I don't trust them with all my assets I worked hard to get and they don't make me lose desire for other women.  I'm perfectly fine living free by my own rules and just making sure all the fruits of my labor will be enjoyed by my kids and myself and hopefully I'll have something good to leave them too when I'm gone.


If u can read women and know how they think you can push the right buttons and you don't lose that with age.  If theres 1 thing I'm confident about is that I'll still be able to do that 20, 30, 40 even 50 years down the line.
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Good luck with that and hope it works out for you...don't see how you can be proud of having two kids out of wedlock with two baby mommas...that just sounds like messed up judgement calls on your end, but glad you are at least a stand up dude and taking care of your kids....some important things those kids will miss out on as far as family values is concerned...this thought process is the reason why the family structure is going down the drain and families are no longer concern with making it work together, people simply impregnating and separating with little concern about how this will affect their children.

Good thing your financial situation is amazing...at least you can provide for them in that sense.
 
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The sooner you start to realize that marriage is NOT about what you can get out of it, but what you put in it to make it flourish, the sooner you'll understand why two people embark in such a journey....my wife is not working at all at the moment, has made a good share of mistakes, but is an amazing person to me and we love each other dearly, she's been an emotional clutch to me at times over the years when I've needed it most, even more than my own childhood friends and only matched by my mother....the fact that she at the moment can't bring much financially to the table has me with little worries, I GOT US...I'm gonna help her get through it and become something she can be proud of as an individual....to me that's what marriage is about, putting that work in, sacrifice, learn about each other, build a foundation that won't crumble as easy as a "breakup" and raising a family together.
 
not for nothing, no way im marrying a broad that ain't pulling in her weight...

my mother married my pops and they was both getting it back it da day, ain't no such thing as a free ride.
 
ninjahood said:
not for nothing, no way im marrying a broad that ain't pulling in her weight...

my mother married my pops and they was both getting it back it da day, ain't no such thing as a free ride.
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Because all you care about is finances brah...a woman can bring much more to the table than $$$$

You can marry an over achiever making more dough than you and make you feel like a **** at the same time because YOU ain't pulling as much financial weight as she is...

Next thing you know you find yourself at home cooking dinner for her and picking up the kids from day care....I've come to the conclusion, that alot of you dudes, simply HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YA WANT, when it comes to women...lol
 
"Oh I want a shorty making 6 figured while I push a delivery truck making half what she makes" "oh wait but I still would like to feel like the all overpowering/dominant shot-caller in the home"

Son in today's world IT SIMPLY DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT...
 
The Natural Mystic said:
The benefits are going to be subjective on the person and their situation.
There is no clear answer to that. Why would you marry a woman who is willing to destroy you and leech off you in the first place? Be objective and be smart about who you lay next to.


I think the main problem people have going into marriage is that they think its going to be all lovey dovey after the wedding day.

-Its work. Marriage is a job and you have to be willing to do it if you want to get married.
-The key is honesty and communication, even if it's going to hurt feelings.
-There are going to be days she pisses you off and vice versa but you have to put your pride aside and talk about it.
-Have a genuine respect for your spouse. The same way you respect your mom should be the same way you respect her. This dictates how you talk to her when you are pissed and frustrated with her. You can't call her names and she shouldn't call you any names.
- When you are depressed and are at rock bottom, she should be the one to pick you up and encourage you to keep going and vice versa.
-Patience and more patience
-Be honest about money
-Hold each other accountable
-I am a proponent of living together before getting married. You get to see her habits and she gets to see yours. If you guys are constantly arguing about small things then marriage is probably not going to work.

Most people are not willing to do all of this. Don't sign up for a job that you are not willing to do. I have been married for a year and half but I lived with my lady for 4 years before. It's been hard but it's also been the best time of my life. I have grown tremendously as a man and as a person. It's also awesome to be able to share success with her and also console each other through failure.
Click to expand...






as a married man, THIS.....ALL OF THIS
 
ksteezy said:
"Oh I want a shorty making 6 figured while I push a delivery truck making half what she makes" "oh wait but I still would like to feel like the all overpowering/dominant shot-caller in the home"

Son in today's world IT SIMPLY DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT...
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this may be the first time I ever agreed with you. good stuff homie
 
This is crazy:
 [h1]'Dowry has turned into a commercial transaction'[/h1]
One woman dies every hour in India because of dowry-related disputes. Rights activist Ranjana Kumari explains these crimes are the result of growing poverty, greed and disrespect for women in Indian society.



According to the latest figures published by India's National Crime Records Bureau, a total of 8,233 women were killed across India in 2012 due to disputes over dowry payments given by the bride's family to the groom or his family. Moreover, the conviction rate for such crimes remained at 32 percent.

Although the dowry system is officially banned in the South Asian nation, it still persists and dowry practices are believed to extend to all classes of Indian society.

In a DW interview, human rights activist Ranjana Kumari said India's economic boom has turned the age-old custom into a commercial transaction underpinned by socio-economic standing and greed.

DW: What factors have contributed to the high number of dowry-related crimes?

Ranjana Kumari: Strong patriarchal values, the devaluation of women, and growing poverty are all factors that have led to the prevalence of dowry violence across the country. Traditional beliefs remain strong and there is a common perception that women become the property of their husbands after marriage and that they are an economic burden for their husband, so the practice of dowry remains endemic.

Kumari: 'There is a common perception that women become the property of their husbands after marriage'

Without strong efforts from the government to reform cultural traditions like dowry and to improve attitudes towards women, the issue of dowry violence will continue.

Why is this custom still practiced by Indian society, despite it being illegal?

Attitudes to women and marriage remain unchanged in India, so the custom continues to be practiced throughout the country. The implementation of the legislation outlawing the age-old practice also remains limited.

Many women and families do not lodge complaints to the police, complaints are often not taken seriously and not investigated by the police, and even in cases where the husband or family members are charged, conviction rates are extremely low. As such, there is little deterrence for people continuing to make and accept dowry payment and dowry-related violence also continues almost unabated.

Why do so few perpetrators of dowry-related crimes get convicted?

There are two main reasons for the low conviction rate. The first is poor police investigations mean that there is little evidence to convict the perpetrators of dowry crimes. This can be due to limited police training and also a lack of required resources to conduct investigations. The second is corruption within the police force. Many police officers accept bribes from families of the accused and then refuse to take cases forward.

How are dowry-related crimes related to India's economic boom?

Dowry was originally meant to support new couples beginning their married life. However, it has turned into a commercial transaction that is underpinned by socio-economic standing and greed.

[h4]DW.DE[/h4]
[h2]Dowry thrives in modern India[/h2]
Although dowry has long been outlawed in India, the age-old custom persists. The latest statistics reveal that, on average, one woman dies every hour in a dowry-related dispute. And the perpetrators often go unpunished. (10.09.2013)

[h2]Adults convicted in Delhi gang rape case[/h2]

[h2]Delhi enraged over rapist's 'lenient' sentence[/h2]

[h2]Gender imbalance in Asia prompts calls for intervention[/h2]

India's economic boom has resulted in families requesting higher and higher dowry prices, and in many cases the brides' families are unable to comply with these requests. Violence generally occurs if the husband or his family is unhappy with the dowry they have received, or if the family of the bride does not comply with further payment requests.

What is New Delhi doing to tackle the issue?

The Indian government developed the Dowry Prohibition Act in 1961 to forbid the practice of dowry. Under current legislation the payment and acceptance of dowry is prohibited and dowry- related violence and deaths also receive special mention within the Indian Penal Code.

The development of this legislation was an important first step in developing a culture in which dowry is not tolerated or condoned. However, further steps are required throughout the country to address the prevalence of gender discrimination and the acceptance of violence against women, particularly within the home.

What can Indian society to prevent such crimes?

There is no short-term solution. It will take at least a generation to change the social attitude towards women and to reform our cultural traditions such as the practice of dowry. We need to educate girls and boys from an early age.

'Attitudes to women and marriage remain unchanged in India'

In a country where you can kill a daughter-in-law in want of a scooter, a car or some money you won't see a change in a generation. Change will happen very slowly.

Some years ago parents advised their married daughters to stay with their husbands and in-laws even when they knew their daughters would be killed. Now we see a lot of parents supporting their daughters and rather asking them to return home than to get killed. That has changed. And this is a big step.

Dr. Ranjana Kumari is an Indian human rights activist, director of the New Delhi-based Center for Social Research (CSR) and president of Women Power Connect (WPC), a non-profit organization focusing on gender justice.

The interview was conducted by Gabriel Domínguez
Click to expand...
 
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ksteezy said:
Good luck with that and hope it works out for you...don't see how you can be proud of having two kids out of wedlock with two baby mommas...that just sounds like messed up judgement calls on your end, but glad you are at least a stand up dude and taking care of your kids....some important things those kids will miss out on as far as family values is concerned...this thought process is the reason why the family structure is going down the drain and families are no longer concern with making it work together, people simply impregnating and separating with little concern about how this will affect their children.

Good thing your financial situation is amazing...at least you can provide for them in that sense.
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It's been working well for me so far but nobody knows what the future holds for anybody's situation.  I'm proud of having 2 kids outa wedlock b/c I don't believe in the institution of marriage.  I think it's stupid to have the government involved once that contract is signed to legally bind you.  My parents have been married for over 30 years and still together so I'm not knocking it but I do think society has changed a lot in the last few decades.  I don't appreciate you judging me bout my decisions but it's ur opinion I guess.  Marriage ain't the only way to raise kids.  There are plenty of ****** up kids that grow up in that type of arrangement too.  

All I know is that when I was born, I lived in a small house in the hood with my parents and 2 sisters and that ain't no type of way my kids are gonna grow up.  I visit them and I fly them out to visit me when my schedule allows it and I take some time to videochat with them everyday.  My son just turned 7 so he knows I'm always a call away for whatever he needs to talk to me about.  I invest in them heavily with top private schools and sports and whatever other programs they have interest in.  

Traditional family structure not the only way there is Ksteezy. 
 
younghollywood said:
It's been working well for me so far but nobody knows what the future holds for anybody's situation.  I'm proud of having 2 kids outa wedlock b/c I don't believe in the institution of marriage.  I think it's stupid to have the government involved once that contract is signed to legally bind you.  My parents have been married for over 30 years and still together so I'm not knocking it but I do think society has changed a lot in the last few decades.  I don't appreciate you judging me bout my decisions but it's ur opinion I guess.  Marriage ain't the only way to raise kids.  There are plenty of ****** up kids that grow up in that type of arrangement too.  

All I know is that when I was born, I lived in a small house in the hood with my parents and 2 sisters and that ain't no type of way my kids are gonna grow up.  I visit them and I fly them out to visit me when my schedule allows it and I take some time to videochat with them everyday.  My son just turned 7 so he knows I'm always a call away for whatever he needs to talk to me about.  I invest in them heavily with top private schools and sports and whatever other programs they have interest in.  

Traditional family structure not the only way there is Ksteezy. 
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Thing is you got this thing called $$$$$ which can overcompensate for everything else they might miss out on...take your financial opportunities away and I bet they wouldn't be as well off and neither would you looking after 2 kids from 2 different women at such a young age.

All that aside I'm happy for the kids that you have the means nessesary to give them both the same opportunities to succeed in life.
 
I grew up in a household with a single parent not by choice but because dad was killed....my mother provided all she could and I'm thankful....but I would always feel I missed out on some things, that's what alot of kids have to deal with nowadays that the traditional family structure is crumbling down and dudes have kids with a baby momma and later on settle with another woman and have kids with her, no matter what you tell me, you can't split yourself in two, financially you may be able to, but on an emotional connection type of level, one of those kids will take the L, it seems hard enough to raise one kid when both parents are equally active and present, it can't possibly be better to raise 2 or more kids, with 2 or more baby mommas.
 
ksteezy said:
Thing is you got this thing called $$$$$ which can overcompensate for everything else they might miss out on...take your financial opportunities away and I bet they wouldn't be as well off and neither would you looking after 2 kids from 2 different women at such a young age.

All that aside I'm happy for the kids that you have the means nessesary to give them both the same opportunities to succeed in life.
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Well wouldn't you say money is an important thing when it comes to having kids?  I think a big problem is that too many ppl have kids when they're already struggling themselves.  Continues the cycle of poverty.  I'm not saying only rich folks should have kids but I think it's smart to where you at least have more than enough for yourself before you have kids. Thats why I can't blame Ninjahood for having his stance on the woman bringing in money, money from both sides will benefit the kids unless one is a deadbeat and there are rich deadbeats too.
 
I would like to honestly get married and fall in live and all that but nowadays you can't really trust that many people everybody is me first in this generation or leap before they look. I know fir me knocking a chick up is my biggest fear because I would put a ring in it even if my brain says no. Almost did it last year and I thank The Lord for her pops being a standup dude and keeping it real with me. Im more open / willing to be a baby daddy nowadays than I was a few years ago
 
younghollywood said:
Well wouldn't you say money is an important thing when it comes to having kids?  I think a big problem is that too many ppl have kids when they're already struggling themselves.  Continues the cycle of poverty.  I'm not saying only rich folks should have kids but I think it's smart to where you at least have more than enough for yourself before you have kids. Thats why I can't blame Ninjahood for having his stance on the woman bringing in money, money from both sides will benefit the kids unless one is a deadbeat and there are rich deadbeats too.
Click to expand...

But of course money is important to raise kids...lol I never said that and money is the reason why YOU personally can provide for them, but by leading the lifestyle you appear to lead, although it seems fun you cannot tell me it benefits the kids other than financially...face timing with them doesn't even come close to being able to our them to bed each night, being present at all their school plays, etc etc...yeah you are providing for them financially, but idealistic, rich dad =/= good dad....not saying you are a bad dad, but you cannot tell me you are as present as you would want to. 1, because of your job. 2, because you have two kids to split time with, time which you obviously have little of to give.
 
Bro, we just sharing opinions, don't get offended by what I'm saying...you are doing things the best you can, I don't even have kids, we just share a difference in opinion when it comes to the family structure...it's ironic you were raised in a household with both parents happily married and I was raised by a single mom..
 
ksteezy said:
But of course money is important to raise kids...lol I never said that and money is the reason why YOU personally can provide for them, but by leading the lifestyle you appear to lead, although it seems fun you cannot tell me it benefits the kids other than financially...face timing with them doesn't even come close to being able to our them to bed each night, being present at all their school plays, etc etc...yeah you are providing for them financially, but idealistic, rich dad =/= good dad....not saying you are a bad dad, but you cannot tell me you are as present as you would want to. 1, because of your job. 2, because you have two kids to split time with, time which you obviously have little of to give.
Click to expand...
Really hope you are able to have your own kids some day ksteezy. You will be a good dad.
 
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