chris boshs neck
Banned
- 2,653
- 26
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2007
Aight so listen up, gather round, yeah! So I was chilling with this girl at her place yesterday that I met at beginners yoga class; word to lulu lemon that I
was puttin work in. We smoked a little…, well actually a lot and I had to get outta there cause I had a flight to the T.O I had to catch. I was smoking like
St. Helens though and needed some food before a long flight that just serves water and those nasty rice crackers: Why people got to be allergic to peanuts,
step your immune system game up homies.
So She makes me a peanut butter sandwich, and says something like" this will be the best sandwich you will ever have!" I'm Like B please, any
food network watching mother… can make a peanut butter sandwich. Anyway I ate it (Multigrain Cobbs Bread with Chunky Skippy Peanut Butter for the beasts) and
it was good. Had these little leafy things in em and was little sour but I was to hungry and in a rush to care.
I get to the airport feeling a little funny. I check in and breeze through security. I get to my gate and chill for a sec like Phil just called a Time-Out from
the bench. They then call my row and I jump up like beast post on NT and walk down the tunnel feelin like Ray Lewis sweating and breathing hard n stuff. I Neon
Deion High step onto the plane and give the male flight attendant a fist pound; very questionable…. I look at my ticket and see my seat is 4E. I sit down
feeling like the serial killer than CAM was talking about with A.Copper on 60 minutes. Then I start trippin… I put on my Ray Bans on feeling like Ray Charles
"Yall Cant See ME"
Then the safety video starts, it is one of those in-seat TV's so it is right in-front of me. Then all the sudden the voice in the video starts talking to
me saying "Chris Boshs Neck, you are going to die if this plane takes off!!" I start flipping out slowly, blinking like McCain on Wednesday. Then the
engines roar and lights go off!!! I look out the window and lions are roaring "ROOOOOOAAARRR" as we take off.
At this point I am seeing more colors than Crayola and shapes than ya'll see in a high school girls P.E class. I then look to the right, BAM! Open seat, I
move my leg 13 inches to the right to compensate for this opening. I look to the left and there he is, Crash Bandicoot; my childhood hero! He informs me that
the person sitting 3 seats ahead of me is the evil Cortex. Turns out what the guy sitting to my left really said was " Sir can you stop staring at me like
that" , which I found out today when cops told me. Anyway I had to take action like Spielberg and had to get Cortex before he blows up the plane like the
chick in the safety video told me. I jump up armed with just a rolled up edition of EN Route magazine and smoke the dude in the face, I hit him with another
left then I feel a zap…..
Turns out I was tazered by an under cover cop. I was out for most the flight and woke up handcuffed to seat. They just let me out of jail today… I SMS texted
chick and asked what she did to me, turns out she put mushrooms and a little acid in my peanut butter sandwich. I think I am in a lot of trouble with the law,
I have to be in Court tomorrow I'll keep you updated, I will also call chick tomorrow.
was puttin work in. We smoked a little…, well actually a lot and I had to get outta there cause I had a flight to the T.O I had to catch. I was smoking like
St. Helens though and needed some food before a long flight that just serves water and those nasty rice crackers: Why people got to be allergic to peanuts,
step your immune system game up homies.
So She makes me a peanut butter sandwich, and says something like" this will be the best sandwich you will ever have!" I'm Like B please, any
food network watching mother… can make a peanut butter sandwich. Anyway I ate it (Multigrain Cobbs Bread with Chunky Skippy Peanut Butter for the beasts) and
it was good. Had these little leafy things in em and was little sour but I was to hungry and in a rush to care.
I get to the airport feeling a little funny. I check in and breeze through security. I get to my gate and chill for a sec like Phil just called a Time-Out from
the bench. They then call my row and I jump up like beast post on NT and walk down the tunnel feelin like Ray Lewis sweating and breathing hard n stuff. I Neon
Deion High step onto the plane and give the male flight attendant a fist pound; very questionable…. I look at my ticket and see my seat is 4E. I sit down
feeling like the serial killer than CAM was talking about with A.Copper on 60 minutes. Then I start trippin… I put on my Ray Bans on feeling like Ray Charles
"Yall Cant See ME"
Then the safety video starts, it is one of those in-seat TV's so it is right in-front of me. Then all the sudden the voice in the video starts talking to
me saying "Chris Boshs Neck, you are going to die if this plane takes off!!" I start flipping out slowly, blinking like McCain on Wednesday. Then the
engines roar and lights go off!!! I look out the window and lions are roaring "ROOOOOOAAARRR" as we take off.
At this point I am seeing more colors than Crayola and shapes than ya'll see in a high school girls P.E class. I then look to the right, BAM! Open seat, I
move my leg 13 inches to the right to compensate for this opening. I look to the left and there he is, Crash Bandicoot; my childhood hero! He informs me that
the person sitting 3 seats ahead of me is the evil Cortex. Turns out what the guy sitting to my left really said was " Sir can you stop staring at me like
that" , which I found out today when cops told me. Anyway I had to take action like Spielberg and had to get Cortex before he blows up the plane like the
chick in the safety video told me. I jump up armed with just a rolled up edition of EN Route magazine and smoke the dude in the face, I hit him with another
left then I feel a zap…..
Turns out I was tazered by an under cover cop. I was out for most the flight and woke up handcuffed to seat. They just let me out of jail today… I SMS texted
chick and asked what she did to me, turns out she put mushrooms and a little acid in my peanut butter sandwich. I think I am in a lot of trouble with the law,
I have to be in Court tomorrow I'll keep you updated, I will also call chick tomorrow.
g
