This "pride" is whats keeping me a float. Sitting in that cell for 2 days, with a 2 way mirror and all you can see is yourself, lights on 24-7 not seeing outside and not knowing what time it is, all by myself. All I got was one meal in those 2 days. Then being transported to central in a van shackled up to some dude by the ankles, looking out the back of the van seeing people driving in their cars going anywhere they want at anytime. And im there, being told what my every move should be. When and where I can eat. That **** is made to break you. Make you feel less of a person. I refuse to feel that way again. I refuse to have my integrity broken.
There was this big middle aged guy. Big burly guy, who was put in the cell I was in at central. I went in and said waddup to him. He said he doesnt want to talk, hes very angry and if anyone came at him the wrong way hes going to snap cause hes too emotional right now. Its his 1st time being locked up and has never been in trouble. By the end of the day, afyer talking to him some more, I had him in tears. I told him dont let this make you who you're not, stay positive and look at all the good thats still there, like his family calling everyday saying how much they love him. We chopped it up and after, he began talking to this younger kid (1
. The basically had the I dont give a **** attitude. Then he began to open up and talk about the aspirations he had in life. By time we were done talking to him, he wanted to get bailed out. Before he didnt give a **** and said no one cares about him anyway.
Me being able to help those 2 is a perfect example of why I will not make this bad situation make me someone im not.
To resort to sleeping with someone for warmth is not the person I am. Thats how people begin to lose themselves and begin doing things they regret later. I have yo stay focused, I have to stand tall and keep on pushing and living.
I told that older guy, Id send him a book but those bastards sent it back. So ill just go and visit him. He doesnt have much longer in there, but Im curious to see how hes holding up