TAY: thread about yambs...

[Coromanti]

 
like I said it's a kid involved and she's now trying to change me from who I am to who she wants me to be (and I was committed the past 3 years as far as not cheating...I think lol ...just maybe innocent flirting but thats it)

and most marriages that happen in people's 20s don't stick long term......I'm 26 and she's 24

plus another aspect is she's from an African family.......they are demanding and if I marry her they'll never let her go enough where she can be a true wife (with all us staying in the same city)....It's hard to explain but her mom and aunt are demanding

just think we both need a break......if it's meant to be then it's meant to be......she just need to stay cool and don't turn into a scorned bm.....it's not even about me wanting to **** other females .....I'm going back to school and I don't need pressure from a relationship

4-5 days a week listening to a woman nagging about you is stress you'll never understand......I've asked her plenty of times "why are you still with me" and she can't even answer the question.......that **** brings you down and with a kid or not I can't continue to stay in some **** like that.....It got so bad that I didn't even care to **** her anymore....just sad she changed up on me the past year cause we were good before then.......guess everybody reaches a limit and I've reached mines 

Maaaaaan...Imma have to put this on you.

African families are notorious for this.  If you didn't see this coming then I don't know what planet you stay on.

Furthermore the fact you have a kid out of wed lock is even worse. Not sure what your background is but for them it's still

absolutely shameful.  6 years is plenty time.

As for her trying to mold you, it's merely a projection of her culture.  African husbands are supposed to be strong and lead (that's true for most cultures but in these modern times they seem to put heavier emphasis on the alpha male than most).  You don't have to be an extrovert but you have to control her and show you can control her.

 

[keel252]

I wasn't really speaking like yall need to get married after 2 years, but I feel you should atleast be like hey girl I Love you and I know you're what i want.

but we have dudes being like.. man i can't take this chick crap.. why am i dealing with this.. but then still deal with it.. 2 years you should know what you want. and how or if things will get better..

The simplest rule is What you see is what you get. .. You can stack, you can travel with your significant other.

I understand not getting married, I don't understand the dudes who cheat and claim being miserable but still keep chick around.

(same goes for women also.)



As for wanting to be 1000% stable once again I understand. but you've been with the girl for 5/6 years and you know she is who you want and yall are doing nothing yall wouldn't do married so whats the difference really, if you plan on getting married anyway..
I mean as long as your commited and you not creeping around Its cool but if your girl got a problem then thats a problem

i dig homie...now i totally understand where your coming from.

 

[sreggie101]

ive been with my girl for 5 going on 6 and i cant see myself getting married till i am truly 10000% financially stable. At the moment im grinding at my company trying to move up as fast as possible and i see the people who are married/ have kids/ baby daddy or momma issues/ relationship issues etc. Dont get as far or simply dont care to move up.

I want my kids/wife to have a good life and wont settle for anything less. Add to that im only 24 so whats the rush. Everyone i know that is married or have kids already is either struggling or having issues in their household. We are GOOD and i would hate to mess up what we have just to say oh we married.

my man. im so with you on this. just recently hit the 6 yr mark with my girl. she still has to go to PT or PA school (whichever she chooses). Im gonna switch into a medical career myself with my engineering degree. we ain't in no rush, ain't worried bout nuttin. besides i told her in order to qualify for the ring, you need to present a document that shows a DPT or PA degree .


financial security is paramount, and i want to live a stable and happy life where money is not a day to day struggle, and if education is the only way, then that > marriage. same age as you and our generation is gonna have mucho problemo when it comes to retiring.


besides after we are set career wise, i wanna travel and live it up with her and friends.

 

[Mark Antony]

I'm with Tdogg. Single life is great if you know how to control it, I don't feel you should waste years of yourself and hers time for nothing. I think dudes who do that are scared that they'll never have someone hold them down like that again, which isn't true. Be Honest, enjoy your life. If you wanna be single, be single, enjoy it. If you want a relationship, then be in one and make it the mother ******g best relationship there is, you don't have to drag **** out, ya'll need to know that. Sometimes though, a little time and space can give both parties a good perspective.

 

[oidreez]

I dont understand the notion that "you've been with her for x amount of years, if you're not marrying her you're just wasting both of your time" What does marriage change between two people? Why does it have to be by a certain age? What is the difference between getting married at 26 and getting married at 35?

 

[keel252]

I'm with Tdogg. Single life is great if you know how to control it, I don't feel you should waste years of yourself and hers time for nothing. I think dudes who do that are scared that they'll never have someone hold them down like that again, which isn't true. Be Honest, enjoy your life. If you wanna be single, be single, enjoy it. If you want a relationship, then be in one and make it the mother ******g best relationship there is, you don't have to drag **** out, ya'll need to know that. Sometimes though, a little time and space can give both parties a good perspective.

aite so you speak of time and space so what does that mean?

see other people?

idle time is bad time...

 

[keel252]

I dont understand the notion that "you've been with her for x amount of years, if you're not marrying her you're just wasting both of your time" What does marriage change between two people? Why does it have to be by a certain age? What is the difference between getting married at 26 and getting married at 35?

its no way you believe your the same person at 26 that you will be at 35...

 

[oidreez]

I dont understand the notion that "you've been with her for x amount of years, if you're not marrying her you're just wasting both of your time" What does marriage change between two people? Why does it have to be by a certain age? What is the difference between getting married at 26 and getting married at 35?

its no way you believe your the same person at 26 that you will be at 35...

I'm talking about why does someone need to be married at 26 versus 35 though? Does society dictate that two people should be married by a certain age? Is a couple who gets married in there late 20's better than a couple who gets married in there mid 30's?

 

[joepac12]

Man I'm 26 and haven't met a woman yet I wanna get married too and have that level of commitment. Sure I have some cool females on the roster but like others have said I wanna be financially stable first. I would rather struggle by myself then to drag someone else into that.

 

[Peep Game]

I'd much rather be with somebody for years and hold off on marriage than to make that silly jump cause you think you're so sure early on. I saw so many disasters throughout college it's not even funny.

 

[slicknick951]

I'd much rather be with somebody for years and hold off on marriage than to make that silly jump cause you think you're so sure early on. I saw so many disasters throughout college it's not even funny.

Thats how i feel. If its good now it will be good in a couple years so no rush. Lets build together and when its right we will be stronger for it

 

[hennessy]

I'd much rather be with somebody for years and hold off on marriage than to make that silly jump cause you think you're so sure early on. I saw so many disasters throughout college it's not even funny.

You saw people have disastrous marriages in college? Whatttt?

 

[k3stacks]

Would you sacrifice kissing a big broad for some guaranteed top?

 

[tdogg2k]

I dont understand the notion that "you've been with her for x amount of years, if you're not marrying her you're just wasting both of your time" What does marriage change between two people? Why does it have to be by a certain age? What is the difference between getting married at 26 and getting married at 35?

I'm talking about why does someone need to be married at 26 versus 35 though? Does society dictate that two people should be married by a certain age? Is a couple who gets married in there late 20's better than a couple who gets married in there mid 30's?

1. Marriage is the true commitment (if you believe in what Marriage truly means)
There is no more cheating (shouldn't be), What you're doing is no longer just for yourself (both parties).
You're not just legally binded but spirtually (if you believe in that). It says more than just this is my girl. It says this is my world.

I think a lot of yall are thinking Marriage means all your extra curricular activities have to stop and that's not the case. (I'm saying all but cheating of course)

It's not about age it's about time spent.
I'm not saying financial reasons is your scapegoat but at the same time. if you're saying there is no difference between being married and not married how is being 10000% financially good (which no one ever is or will be, let's keep it funky)
Then how would getting married really put a dent in your financial plans? (Traditionally wife's parents pay for the weddings, but there are also other ways)

If you do believe in marriage and you know that's the girl you want then why would be with the girl for 7 years and never fully commit is crazy to me.

Now if you don't believe in Marriage then this doesnt apply to you and if your girl doesn't then no harm no file.. but if your girl does and you don't you may need to re evaluate yourself and your relationship..

I personally don't believe in the "One" and that's where a lot of this belief comes from because I feel like you can find and get a long with several girls who work out for you. You have to decide yourself if you want to settle on that one. because real relationships are work.

Man I'm 26 and haven't met a woman yet I wanna get married too and have that level of commitment. Sure I have some cool females on the roster but like others have said I wanna be financially stable first. I would rather struggle by myself then to drag someone else into that.

Neither have I and I agree with you..
I don't date for fun or to just kick it. if I give the girl title of girlfriend , it's because I feel she can be wifey long term. Now ofcourse you need the time to figure out if she gets the ring (becomming girlfriend is stage 1 of the hiring process) but it for sure doesn't take over 2-3 years to figure out if this is the one you want to marry.

The reason I said over 25, is because I assume (I can be wrong) yall are out of highschool. and experienced some life, and been through your fair share of heartbreaks and headaches to know what you want.

 

[keel252]

.

 

[Peep Game]

I'd much rather be with somebody for years and hold off on marriage than to make that silly jump cause you think you're so sure early on. I saw so many disasters throughout college it's not even funny.

You saw people have disastrous marriages in college? Whatttt?

Yep, 4 years plus my semi-grad assistant year. People came to college with their HS sweethearts, got married their first year and split up their sophomore year. Saw couples who looked like they'd be together forever and breadline up their final year, and either the guy or the girl are married to someone else 6 months later. Crazy stuff

 

[Mark Antony]

I'm with Tdogg. Single life is great if you know how to control it, I don't feel you should waste years of yourself and hers time for nothing. I think dudes who do that are scared that they'll never have someone hold them down like that again, which isn't true. Be Honest, enjoy your life. If you wanna be single, be single, enjoy it. If you want a relationship, then be in one and make it the mother ******g best relationship there is, you don't have to drag **** out, ya'll need to know that. Sometimes though, a little time and space can give both parties a good perspective.

aite so you speak of time and space so what does that mean?

see other people?

idle time is bad time...

Not even just see other people, and you def don't want to be idle. Just some space to grow and experience things away from each other when you're at the breaking point to see if that's what you really want. If ya'll get back together, cool. If not, still cool.

 

[Mark Antony]

Man I'm 26 and haven't met a woman yet I wanna get married too and have that level of commitment. Sure I have some cool females on the roster but like others have said I wanna be financially stable first. I would rather struggle by myself then to drag someone else into that.

Met her, fumbled. That's life though. I've never met a woman more in tune and equal and in basically the same stage of life as I was. I was a little more immature though.

 

[mr marcus]

 

 
like I said it's a kid involved and she's now trying to change me from who I am to who she wants me to be (and I was committed the past 3 years as far as not cheating...I think lol ...just maybe innocent flirting but thats it)

and most marriages that happen in people's 20s don't stick long term......I'm 26 and she's 24

plus another aspect is she's from an African family.......they are demanding and if I marry her they'll never let her go enough where she can be a true wife (with all us staying in the same city)....It's hard to explain but her mom and aunt are demanding

just think we both need a break......if it's meant to be then it's meant to be......she just need to stay cool and don't turn into a scorned bm.....it's not even about me wanting to **** other females .....I'm going back to school and I don't need pressure from a relationship

4-5 days a week listening to a woman nagging about you is stress you'll never understand......I've asked her plenty of times "why are you still with me" and she can't even answer the question.......that **** brings you down and with a kid or not I can't continue to stay in some **** like that.....It got so bad that I didn't even care to **** her anymore....just sad she changed up on me the past year cause we were good before then.......guess everybody reaches a limit and I've reached mines 

Maaaaaan...Imma have to put this on you.

African families are notorious for this.  If you didn't see this coming then I don't know what planet you stay on.

Furthermore the fact you have a kid out of wed lock is even worse. Not sure what your background is but for them it's still

absolutely shameful.  6 years is plenty time.

As for her trying to mold you, it's merely a projection of her culture.  African husbands are supposed to be strong and lead (that's true for most cultures but in these modern times they seem to put heavier emphasis on the alpha male than most).  You don't have to be an extrovert but you have to control her and show you can control her.

yea I know 

 ......I knew once the baby was born time was gonna start ticking.......**** crazy 

they'll probably hate me for life if me and her don't work out 

 

[rocman23]

Was with my ex for 5 years and ended it cause I wasn't ready for marriage and thought it was selfish of me but it's something I had to do to grow. Out of every girl I've ever done with, she's the only one I could see being with long term and raising a kid with. This new chick has come into the picture though and it's gotten serious. I'm not trying to play either one of them but I feel like I've got to make a decision soon. Shorties be treating the brother right and I feel like I'm ready to settle down again. Only issue is do I go with how I know things will be, or go with what could be?

 

[sohoguy]

I have yet met a chick I would even wanna be in a relationship with , shrugs guess that ain't for everyone.

 

[milestailsprowe]

Today I realized I'm a memember of team raw. It saddens me because of the past three girls I did when they asked for condoms I just died down there. I need help.

 

[keel252]

Today I realized I'm a memember of team raw. It saddens me because of the past three girls I did when they asked for condoms I just died down there. I need help.

You know what they call people who don't use condoms?












































Parents.

 

[Mark Antony]

Still gets me how the even the most faux righteous chick doesn't trip when I go raw. Even the ones talking bout "condom queen".

 

[milestailsprowe]

You know what they call people who don't use condoms?












































Parents.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo please no