Stay friends with an ex? yay or nay

[dathbgboy]

Originally Posted by Juve9ile18

You answered your own question. Plus if you really want her back, you have to show her that you can do better by yourself. Only way she will want to get you back. Unless you're seen with a better chick.

This dude know what's good

If u want her back, show her that it aint %#@% and u'll move on w/o her. That whole "friends" nonsense is just so she can keep tabs on u, playin the friend role askin if u met anybody new etc etc pryin in ur business.

Also this,

Big J 33 wrote:

---

Chances are, she's keeping you around as a friend so she can jump to another guy without having to be completely single and alone. She can still get the consistent attention from you, while playing the field and trying out the new models. Don't be her courtesy car
I think the car metaphor worked out pretty well sir

 

[slab_diaz]

if you wanna improve yourself, then you'll stay away from her

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

I agree with all that Big J posted and I am suprised that DC didn't post yet.

You really want this girl back after she's been !$$@$*@ around knowing that you like her and have genuine feelings for her? C'mon man I think this is that defining lesson you have to learn when it comes to a majority of women these days...no matter how good of a person they are and if they treated you nicely in the relationship just the sheer audacity of them trying to keep you, me and every other guy that's been down this road as a "Plan B" should warrant a 360 drop kick from the top rope to their head.

Basically...you still got feelings? cut the girl off. You want to make it sweet...don't call her for a while...couple weeks...get her wondering +@% happened to you...then in a month when she calls back just pick up nonchalant and be mysterious not telling her what you've been doing for a whole month...watch how she sweats you.

THEN drop her completely. Trust.

 

[shatterkneesinc]

hell no

 

[derventa]

Originally Posted by niketalk7

so.... how should i break it off with her then.....?

i work with her right now ....and we broke up a little over a month ago.. however, i was stupid and got her this job hoping it would help us get back together.....

we talk with each other at work and eat lunch together occasionally, so how do i go about breaking ties with her...? just stop talking to her all of a sudden or what cuz that seems kinda douchey

Go up to her and explain that you do no want to continue to be friends as it does not benefit you in anyway (you got the boys for that.) Seriously, you'd rather do that 'friend' stuff with your boys. You do not need female 'friends,' we all just wanna smash and friends do not smash each other. (no ayo)
 I know you're still sweating her and it ain't never gonna stop as long as you're friends with her. Simply approach her and tell her the deal.
She'll think long and hard about what you said to her, and from then on she'll make her choice of coming back to you, or offing you completely. 

You just gotta have the "I don't give a +**%" mentality. Because right now, she is just holding you for emotional support, and eventually she's gonna come to YOU asking for relationship advice with the next guy.

Good luck, and upate us. 

 

[blackmagnus514]

She is a very good person and is a very good friend to have around, but I just don't think it's fair for ME. I still love her yet she just wants to be "friends" which I think means she's keeping me on a leash while she has time to find new dudes. ( She KNOWS FOR A FACT that I still like her and that I'm trying to get her back BECAUSE I TOLD HER THAT I STILL LIKE HER AND WANT HER BACK, yet she still talks to me and shizzle likes there's no problem)


I've been here and it sucks. It's an emotional roller coaster. Depending on how the relationship ended, keep in touch here and there but don't make her a priority. She knows you still like her and want to get with her. As a woman, she already has a () which she knows you probably want as well. I'd just find some other broads and cut my losses/time loss short.

Trust me....find some new girls. Dont even worry about if she's gonna come around or not.

 

[Fong$tarr]

Originally Posted by blasdiaz

if you wanna improve yourself, then you'll stay away from her

Exactly. You will be stuck in the past if you don't move on. You not doing yourself any favors if you are still friends cause there will always be some sort of emotion between either party.

 

[bluexsneakerhead]

i tried & constantly failed. everything went downhill since we keep fighting. especially since he moved on

i miss that friendship we used to have.

 

[yes]

nay. my ex is the reason i have a new NT account. had my old one since 05 w/5000 posts-!@@. she found out my username and i caught her checkin up on me basically. i was on her comp, and i see nt up in a diff tab. click on it, see a thread im posting in, scrolled down to a post i wrote. decided right then n there the sn had to go :smh

 

[thedudemt]

Originally Posted by derventa

Originally Posted by niketalk7

so.... how should i break it off with her then.....?

i work with her right now ....and we broke up a little over a month ago.. however, i was stupid and got her this job hoping it would help us get back together.....

we talk with each other at work and eat lunch together occasionally, so how do i go about breaking ties with her...? just stop talking to her all of a sudden or what cuz that seems kinda douchey

Go up to her and explain that you do no want to continue to be friends as it does not benefit you in anyway (you got the boys for that.) Seriously, you'd rather do that 'friend' stuff with your boys. You do not need female 'friends,' we all just wanna smash and friends do not smash each other. (no ayo)
 I know you're still sweating her and it ain't never gonna stop as long as you're friends with her. Simply approach her and tell her the deal.
She'll think long and hard about what you said to her, and from then on she'll make her choice of coming back to you, or offing you completely. 

You just gotta have the "I don't give a +**%" mentality. Because right now, she is just holding you for emotional support, and eventually she's gonna come to YOU asking for relationship advice with the next guy.

Good luck, and upate us. 

Yeah, who cares if it seems "douchey".  She's doing a douchey thing to you. Like derventa said, give her the ultimatum and you'll find out what's really good for you.

 

[th0mas cr0wn]

Originally Posted by StonedFace

Originally Posted by Big J 33

Well considering in your case, she ended it and you still have feelings, I say nay.

You're going to interpret "friend" things as signs she wants you back, but you're probably going to be misreading it. Chances are, she's keeping you around as a friend so she can jump to another guy without having to be completely single and alone. She can still get the consistent attention from you, while playing the field and trying out the new models. Don't be her courtesy car... (I'm trying a car metaphor, stay with me..)

It also goes back to a post a few days ago, I assume it was a DCAllAmerican thread, about whether or not you can/should be friends with women. I think it can be healthy and mutually beneficial, 9/10 one party usually has or had feelings for one another, but it might not be an issue where it hurts the friendship.

For you, cut ties completely and try to get over her. Being around her won't make it any easier and you're just delaying the inevitable. Do you really want to be BFFs with her when she starts dating a new guy? If you genuinely want to be friends with her, then give yourself some space and time to get over her, then try it out.

truth. right here.

 

[sid nasty]

Originally Posted by Big J 33

Well considering in your case, she ended it and you still have feelings, I say nay.

You're going to interpret "friend" things as signs she wants you back, but you're probably going to be misreading it. Chances are, she's keeping you around as a friend so she can jump to another guy without having to be completely single and alone. She can still get the consistent attention from you, while playing the field and trying out the new models. Don't be her courtesy car... (I'm trying a car metaphor, stay with me..)

It also goes back to a post a few days ago, I assume it was a DCAllAmerican thread, about whether or not you can/should be friends with women. I think it can be healthy and mutually beneficial, 9/10 one party usually has or had feelings for one another, but it might not be an issue where it hurts the friendship.

For you, cut ties completely and try to get over her. Being around her won't make it any easier and you're just delaying the inevitable. Do you really want to be BFFs with her when she starts dating a new guy? If you genuinely want to be friends with her, then give yourself some space and time to get over her, then try it out.

truth

 

[trapmuzik617]

DON'T DO IT.

 

[blacklion23]

Not a good idea, especially if you still have feelings for her.

 

[nocomment6]

depends on the girl, but mostly nay.

 

[toy collector123]

just cut contact. out the blue. she'll get the hint and want to get back together when someone does her dirty.

 

[bigballinbruce]

Originally Posted by niketalk7

the thing is.. i'm still trying/wanting to get back with her, but i think she's already moved on.... and that she's already feeling some other dude....

and i think if i abide by her wishes to still be friends i'm just gonna be in more pain because seeing her with another dude while i still want her back is painful as hellllllllllllllllllllll

I can relate dude...I went out with this one chick for 2 years and 9 months...we broke up and she started dating this dude she worked with at red lobster like a month later. %@+@*+ up part is, is that i knew these two hung out sometimes after work, and she even invited me to  hang out with the both of them. @%#% was bogus, but you'll move on. And don't get all self pity on yourself...shes the one thats sick not you.

 

[bigballinbruce]

Originally Posted by blasdiaz

if you wanna improve yourself, then you'll stay away from her

Yup, treat that *%$%@ like heroin. Complete abstinence. the girl i just explained above tried contacting me like a year later to see how i was doing and told me we should hang out sometime, i dont know what that means, but I was civil and hung out with her once...but i acted like I didn't really want to be there, and acted like i didn't have feelings for her (i.e. txting on my phone while smiling so she thinks im talking to other girls...) if you start acting like your talking to other girls around her, she might realize what she lost and start getting jealous....but you still shouldnt get back with her by any means necessary. Just make her realize what she lost and move on...if she even feels bad for what she did. You don't want to be with a *%$%@ like that anywayz.

 

[peteweezy]

Originally Posted by DaNiKeRhiNo

Originally Posted by BOTTOM74BOTTOM

I tried. I failed. I took more damage than if I'd have just let her fade into Oblivion to begin with.

True words spoken (typed).

You do know oblivion was spelled wrong on purpose right? If not these NT spelling detectives need some popculture training lol

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Friends? Does that mean FRIENDS or does it mean you just don't hate each other?
Will you be hanging out? Talking on the phone? Having sex still?

What would friends mean in this situation because as I said before, people call anyone they don't hate their friends these days.

 

[nujerzloyalty]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

She is a very good person and is a very good friend to have around, but I just don't think it's fair for ME. I still love her yet she just wants to be "friends" which I think means she's keeping me on a leash while she has time to find new dudes. ( She KNOWS FOR A FACT that I still like her and that I'm trying to get her back BECAUSE I TOLD HER THAT I STILL LIKE HER AND WANT HER BACK, yet she still talks to me and shizzle likes there's no problem)

I've been here and it sucks. It's an emotional roller coaster. Depending on how the relationship ended, keep in touch here and there but don't make her a priority. She knows you still like her and want to get with her. As a woman, she already has a () which she knows you probably want as well. I'd just find some other broads and cut my losses/time loss short.

Trust me....find some new girls. Dont even worry about if she's gonna come around or not.

True indeed. New (()) gets you over old (()) quick. The weather is starting to get hotter, summer time is right around the corner; the (()) literally falls out the sky, and there's more than enough to go around. Forget that chick and move on, there's too many of them out here to be stressing over one.

  

 

[niketalk7]

haha oh man.. alright, thanks NT im gonna just drop that ho starting tomorrow~

hopefully it won't be awkward at work... rofl

 

[patentboy23]

Originally Posted by niketalk7

haha oh man.. alright, thanks NT im gonna just drop that ho starting tomorrow~

hopefully it won't be awkward at work... rofl

we def. need more backstory on this.  did she explain to you why she wants to be just friends? I'm stuck in the same situation but one of the main reasons why I'm still in it is I really feel the chik is uncertain e.g. she says she has no feelings for me anymore and wants to be friends.  However, she refuses to gimme back my sweatshirt that she still wears, txted me out of the blue about hearing our song and suggested that we chill, telling me that no one has cared so much for her while at the time she was with sumone, etc. so I duno why she's coming at me like that wen she doesn't care nemore.  The way I look at it for you is to really think about it and see if she is really worth the trouble/ stress of trying to win back and you can also keep your own options open at the same time and pursue other chiks. 

 

[patentboy23]

we def. need more backstory on this. did she explain to you why she wants to be just friends? I'm stuck in the same situation but one of the main reasons why I'm still in it is I really feel the chik is uncertain e.g. she says she has no feelings for me anymore and wants to be friends. However, she refuses to gimme back my sweatshirt that she still wears, txted me out of the blue about hearing our song and suggested that we chill, telling me that no one has cared so much for her while at the time she was with sumone, etc. so I duno why she's coming at me like that wen she doesn't care nemore. The way I look at it for you is to really think about it and see if she is really worth the trouble/ stress of trying to win back and you can also keep your own options open at the same time and pursue other chiks.

 

[backyardrsx]

Nay