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i got a nose bleed. pretty embarrassing lmao
Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012
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Some of these sound like straight up ducktales, entertaining nonetheless
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Originally Posted by ksteezy
Some of these sound like straight up ducktales, entertaining nonetheless
Man I'm dying over here
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DYING!
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Just a few months ago, like the first month of school, I met this one girl and we had been talking for a few weeks
one night she tells me to come over after she gets off work so I'm like "alright I'm bout to lay it down"
I get there and we just cuddle in bed for a bit, than she quickly runs to the restroom and all I hear is her throwing up
she's in there throwing up for like ten good minutes and she comes out after 15...I asked her if she was okay and she said it was just a headache so I'm like...okay you seem sick I should probably go
she grabs me and keeps me on the bed and says "no i want you to sleep with me"
shorty had the 10 months rotten milk breath
and I couldn't help but make a face and gag
she starts crying and tries going in for a kiss at the same time! WHAT THE EFF!
I felt really bad about making her cry so I kissed her back (imagine how awkward this scene is), TERRIBLE DECISION. That throw up breath was killer, I pushed her and she fell off the bed and I ran to the restroom to throw up
I get out and she's crying and she tells me to just leave so I'm like Okay! She texted me everyday for the next week and I didn't reply once
one night she tells me to come over after she gets off work so I'm like "alright I'm bout to lay it down"
I get there and we just cuddle in bed for a bit, than she quickly runs to the restroom and all I hear is her throwing up
she's in there throwing up for like ten good minutes and she comes out after 15...I asked her if she was okay and she said it was just a headache so I'm like...okay you seem sick I should probably go
she grabs me and keeps me on the bed and says "no i want you to sleep with me"
shorty had the 10 months rotten milk breath
she starts crying and tries going in for a kiss at the same time! WHAT THE EFF!
I felt really bad about making her cry so I kissed her back (imagine how awkward this scene is), TERRIBLE DECISION. That throw up breath was killer, I pushed her and she fell off the bed and I ran to the restroom to throw up
I get out and she's crying and she tells me to just leave so I'm like Okay! She texted me everyday for the next week and I didn't reply once
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Originally Posted by Mangudai954
Originally Posted by ksteezy
you were thinking too much bro...lol
For me a while back I was hitting a girl from the back, guess she had done #2 earlier before coming over, didn't wipe properly and I ended up with skid marks on my white tee....it didn't smell, to save her the embarrassment, I took my shirt off immediately and acted like I caught a cramp...never hit it again after that
She just got out of the shower. I was laying on her bed..she comes out gets on the bed and we start kissing..take my clothes off and she starts doming. I guess she took a #+%* after she showered and didnt completely wipe. She turns around in the 69 position and I can see the *++@ that's still between her %*! cheeks and I start groaning out of disgust. She starts talking *++@ thinking shes putting in work all the while im trying to figure out how to get out of this. That night was horrible.
My lawd
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Originally Posted by Angryostrich
Shout out to Datnggag
Iight heres my story
Iight I posted this story on NT before but here it goes..So lets
rewind to 2001 or 2002..im living in VA with my moms after HS..I didnt
know anybody their so
I do what any other teenager did back in the day hit the AOL chatroom.
so im chating up with this chick and i hit her with the A/s/l/P so she
gives me the
info..but no pic..so im like cool..describe yourself..shorty descibes
herself.short a lil thick in the right places..(im not into skinny
chicks but not FAT
chick eithers) long hair.so im like iight bet i can work with that we
exchange numbers..we talk on the phone shorty has the :
voice, we did the phone bone thing.so she is like tues is my birthday, I
want you to
smash..so im like bet..now mind you im a Virgin..so we schedule the
time..so the way the complex was set up..I could see who parked
where..so im looking out
the window waiting for shorty to come through..so i notice an
unfamilair car pulling up to the window so im like this must be
shorty..so i do a last minute
inspect of the living room..make sure I got 2 condoms in my back
pocket..so when shorty knocks on the door. i look
through the
peephole.. SMFH she aint nothing how she described herself..yea she is
thick in all the right places..if all the right places happens to be
everywhere..but im like F it shorty drove along
way..im in the mood lets get it poppin..So we sitting on the
couch..talking chopping it up
watching southpark the movie..so i start nibbling on her ear (she told
me thats her spot) so we start touching..shorty goes down..so then im
like lets
proceed to smash..i take off shorty pants and from her mid calf to her ankles is ashy as hell like her car had flour buckets as the
pedal and the brake..so i stop hit her with the
and she is like "oh i was so nervous about coming over, i must have
forgotten" so boom now that im looking at her..she isnt very
moisturized she looking something like a camels lips..but once again im
like F it..i dont
went this far..so i lay her down throw on the condom and proceed to attempt to smash..no matter what i did..shorty couldnt spread her
legs..i just couldnt get it cracking so @ this point
im like you know what this isnt gonna work..I popped both the
condoms..and shorty is
like forget them..im like hell no..so we back on the couch chillin by
this time im ignoring shorty.im on aim..chillin..she watching tv..she
is like im hungry as hell..and goes in her jean jacket pocket and pulls
out them soft oatmeal cookies with the cream in the middle
..im like where did that come from..so my homegirl came and knocked on
my door..so i went outside to talk to her,and about 10 min later the
fat chick comes
and says im leaving..so im like iight peace..i give her a hug and she
told me shell talk to me later..so about 2 weeks later i see her @ the
mall but she
didnt spot me..i bolted the other way...she sent me an email saying
how she was @ the mall getting me a gift some phat farm outfit..shorty
had MONEY..her
pops passed away and that tues she came to my house she turned 18..she
finally got the check and wanted to buy me something
this story always had me
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rex ryan
Banned
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i'll chime in on a few of mine all from the same job
back in 2006 i was working parks and recreation for the city i live in. i had keys to the park offices where we would smoke
and bang womens backs out too as the office was pretty much a free hotel during after hours.
there was this crack fiend white chick that would always hang out by the park and would get her stuff from some dudes that lived in a house across the street. she looked like she was off but she had a decent rack and a decent booty, face looked kinda eh. one day she smoked me out and i told her to come by the office after i closed the park so i could smash. she was with it and came once it got dark around 8 or so. i took her in the office and she started bopping me up. i pulled her shorts down to start fingerin her and i swear once i did the room reeked of death
the smell was so putrid i can remember it to this day, i played with it while she was servicing me. once i finished, i told her i'd smash once i reloaded.
im thinkin to myself
let me get outta here, i went to the other room and texted my coworker and told him to call the park office phone and act like a supervisor. he did, i acted shook and told her she needed to leave. i sprayed the place down with airfreshener and walked home laughing but disgusted at the same time.
second time, i took another girl to the office to smash, i got her laid out on the table going to work. next thing you know i hear a key and the door opening. i got scared and thought to myself bye bye job, i got caught. the door opens and it's 2 of my coworkers that had 2 other females with them. im just like
damn, i told them to go to the other room in the back and to have fun. after that it was akward tho, i had trouble getting it back up, and she seemed reluctant to keep smashing knowing other people were in the next door room.
third time, i smashed this big boobed part time chick that was working with me. we were talkin about drinking, so i told her i'd get 2 40's from the liquor store and we'd drink em. we drank the 40's and started touching up on eachother while supervising the park
come closing time she knew what time it was, i started smashing and it felt all extra extra wet. i realized she was on her rag, i just said screw it i already started, im gettin mine at least, i finished and the condom was a site to see afterwards, it was white with red like some white red jordan xii's. the sex was good though.
back in 2006 i was working parks and recreation for the city i live in. i had keys to the park offices where we would smoke
there was this crack fiend white chick that would always hang out by the park and would get her stuff from some dudes that lived in a house across the street. she looked like she was off but she had a decent rack and a decent booty, face looked kinda eh. one day she smoked me out and i told her to come by the office after i closed the park so i could smash. she was with it and came once it got dark around 8 or so. i took her in the office and she started bopping me up. i pulled her shorts down to start fingerin her and i swear once i did the room reeked of death
im thinkin to myself
second time, i took another girl to the office to smash, i got her laid out on the table going to work. next thing you know i hear a key and the door opening. i got scared and thought to myself bye bye job, i got caught. the door opens and it's 2 of my coworkers that had 2 other females with them. im just like
third time, i smashed this big boobed part time chick that was working with me. we were talkin about drinking, so i told her i'd get 2 40's from the liquor store and we'd drink em. we drank the 40's and started touching up on eachother while supervising the park
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why you ignore dunkair's PMs? deadbeat santa
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3rd time smashing this JO and she blurts out mid-stroke "omg, I love you" I said, "
wut".
she responds with "uh, i mean i love your ****" had to take a break from the session after that one...
I figured shorty got caught up in the moment, naaaah turns out she a bonafide looney calling me 25 times in a row and @+*#
she responds with "uh, i mean i love your ****" had to take a break from the session after that one...
I figured shorty got caught up in the moment, naaaah turns out she a bonafide looney calling me 25 times in a row and @+*#
megatron
Banned
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With no regard for human lifeOriginally Posted by CWrite78
why you ignore dunkair's PMs? deadbeat santa
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Originally Posted by Rex Ryan
Originally Posted by ksteezy
you were thinking too much bro...lol
For me a while back I was hitting a girl from the back, guess she had done #2 earlier before coming over, didn't wipe properly and I ended up with skid marks on my white tee....it didn't smell, to save her the embarrassment, I took my shirt off immediately and acted like I caught a cramp...never hit it again after that
yep in my white,
doo doo stains still. remains
on my white tee
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Originally Posted by 214
Originally Posted by solefood229
Who was the nter that ended meeting some girl online that turned out to be a dude, fam was simpin hard too. I think it was chocolate boy or something
Whatever that thing was, it was hideous. Dude was tellin NT how she was beautiful, nice body and everything. NT asked for pics, and dude posted with sheer confidence. My exact facial expressions......
That had to have been a man........
that thing look like wesley snipes/k ci from jodeci with a dress lol omg i still remember that someone please find that og thread.
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ok so i was back in highschool and this fine girl texts me and tells me to come over...i drive over and we chill in her basement and things start to get heated and she starts giving me dome...so about 10 minutes into dome and messing around i hear someone walking up stairs.... she says that would be my mom...i run and get my shoes and accidentally crash into a sliding glass door and it shatters im cutt up and bleeding...soo i drive my $+$ home and luckily no major injuries... shorty told her mom that someone tried to break in ahahaha
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I've had this happen, so painful especially showering after
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Nothing to major.... But I am pretty goofy & random so with this 1 girl i pulled her tube socks off, sucked her toes & after she domed me up I put her tube socks on my johnson & just let it chill on there for about 30-45min... I would take it off in between time for her to dome me back up & to use the restroom but she told her friends about me havin her sock on my thang.... didnt like that too much... but she also told them how I was the best she ever had
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i dont know about tearing, but she stretched mine to its limits. she wasn't even lubricated enough, yet she still proceeded to bounce up and down to force it in
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It's probably not a good idea to aggressively finger a girl when you haven't trimmed your nails in a while. There will be blood.
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dudeOriginally Posted by RavageBX
It's probably not a good idea to aggressively finger a girl when you haven't trimmed your nails in a while. There will be blood.
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*DEAD*
KMante
Staff member
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Originally Posted by RavageBX
It's probably not a good idea to aggressively finger a girl when you haven't trimmed your nails in a while. There will be blood.
