Fellas the last few days have been a whirlwind of emotions for my wife and I.
I dont know if any of you all have ever experienced a loss during pregnancy but it just happened to us. We lost our twins at 4 months (17 weeks gestation).I would love to hear from any of you all that have... i think it will help me to cope and comfort my wife.
It was so unexpected and sudden no warnings no signs. She was past the high risk period for miscarriage. We were in the second trimester. We just found out we were having a boy and girl on Sunday, we had an ultrasound lady come to her parents house and i had my fam on face time. Went to see kevin hart sunday night...took pics with her showing her lil bump and look sexy. Monday was just normal. Went to bed, she got up to pee a couple times throughout the night like she always done, no issues. The last time she went to pee at like 4 am on tuesday she couldnt and felt something blocking. from there everything just becomes unbelievable and unexplainable. Her water broke, they call it a premature rupture. We been in the hospital since 5am tuesday. we will be going home sometime tonight.
ill spare all the other details about how hard we fought to preserve their lives but it was just nothing we could do after she got an infection. this is just such a crazy feeling. i wasnt prepared to grieve... had no idea this could happen man. its gonna be tough moving on. I was looking forward to fatherhood man...i just dont get it.
Damn fam. Sorry to hear about your loss
Its hard thing to overcome, especially for her. My girl and I had 2 miscarriages before we had out son, 2 years apart. I definitely know what you're going through. That middle of the night bathroom scream scares the **** outta you when she wakes you up out of your sleep.
Theres no easy way of getting past it. The first time I was just trying my best to grasp the entire situation, and to calm my girl down. The 2nd time, I can't lie, I shed a couple tears. I thought we could never have a baby.
Come to find out, my girl has a short cervix. We didn't find out until we finally had our son, and she went through a procedure to have it reinforced to carry the weight of the baby.
We were past the high risk period also, but since she had a short cervix, her entire pregnancy was considered high risk. It was a blessing that my son made it because right near delivery, he became too heavy for the stitches they reinforced him in with. She was ready to give birth at any point, and her doctor kept pushing the date back. With that type of procedure, after reinforcing the child, you have to have a scheduled birth date, because they have to force the labor and undo the procedure to make sure the stitches and everything don't permanently damage her body.
I'm not sure if your girl has the same issue, but it sounds very much like it. Especially with twins. That twice the weight and twice the pressure on her body. From what the doctor told us, gravity was just too much for her body. She couldn't support the weight on her own.
I hope you guys steamroll through this though fam. I know its hard, and I know your girl probably has a million things going through her head. The best thing to do is just be there for her. Whatever she needs. Try to keep her away from other pregnant women
Believe me man, every time we even walked past a woman with kids or having a kid, my girl would get emotional. But its just part of the process.
Talk to your girl, see where her heads at. If you guys know you want kids, and its something you planned for, reassure her that you guys will have kids, just like she wants and theres nothing wrong with her. You can't stress that enough. Women have miscarriages every day. Its common, and there are ways to help prevent it. We never thought there was, until they caught it on an ultrasound the 2nd time. Then we educated ourselves and took the necessary precautions before having our son.
I can't stress that enough though, theres nothing wrong with your girl. Theres nothing wrong with you guys. Me and my girl were blank minded as to why it kept happening, and she thought it was her fault. She thought she was working and stressing too much, she thought she just wasn't able to have kids, she thought it was the food she ate, she though it was how she was laying in bed, she was looking for every excuse to blame herself, but I had to reassure her that it was not her fault. I didn't have any answers
but thats the one I did have. It wasn't her fault, and we were going to make it through.
Its been a long 4 years between the losses, and my boy finally being born and now a little over a year old. But I'll tell you like this fam, all that pain you may feel now, will be reversed 100 times over with happiness when you finally make it to that finish line. W never thought we would make it, but we did. And I appreciate being a father 100x more now because unfortunately I know what that loss feels like.
So after these long couple of months without yambs (even when you are cleared to have sex again, your girl will be paranoid. It WILL frustrate you after a while. But thug it out), hop back on that horse if you guys feel fit to. And take every paranoid precaution. Ask every question at the doctor, read every blog, website, etc. to gain that knowledge on how to prevent whats happened.
Sometimes its something like an infection, or sometimes its complicated and needs surgery like my girl. But either way, I'm rooting for ya'll man
Sorry for the wall. But its a sensitive subject for me
Sorry to hear that, Ace. I don't even know what to say. You guys are certainly in my thoughts.
