Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[dontsteponmyshoes]

I have no advice for you bruh I wish I knew. After 17 years I'm JUST now stepping back out there, and only because my daughter told me I needed to get a life.

It was bad because I didn't have balance whatsoever. I avoided relationships, friendships, hobbies, personal material wants ECT ECT all because I had this idea that I didn't want any of that to affect my time or bond with my daughter. In all actuality I was just really sad and had a hard time coping with not being the prototypical "full time dad" image that I had in my mind of what a father was supposed to be because I never had one and I wanted to make sure she knew I was there.

Schedule wise or whatever it didn't feel like I was there enough (in my mind)but I didn't want to fight. Regardless of how often I kept her though she was my entire life. Every event, award ceremony, gymnastics, soccer, T-ball, father daughter events, every single day a phone call what ever it was/is I'm there ALWAYS.

Then I just started using it as an excuse because I got comfortable being alone and or just not doing any of the the stuff I considered fun or part of my life before I became a parent. Now 17 years later all my dudes are married and moved away and I'm like Encino man dusting off all my early 2000s gear and stepping back into the outside world trying to find my old *** washed self

 

[DCAllAfrican]

A father doing his job.

Thread

 

[darthska]

I have no advice for you bruh I wish I knew. After 17 years I'm JUST now stepping back out there, and only because my daughter told me I needed to get a life.

It was bad because I didn't have balance whatsoever. I avoided relationships, friendships, hobbies, personal material wants ECT ECT all because I had this idea that I didn't want any of that to affect my time or bond with my daughter. In all actuality I was just really sad and had a hard time coping with not being the prototypical "full time dad" image that I had in my mind of what a father was supposed to be because I never had one and I wanted to make sure she knew I was there.

Schedule wise or whatever it didn't feel like I was there enough (in my mind)but I didn't want to fight. Regardless of how often I kept her though she was my entire life. Every event, award ceremony, gymnastics, soccer, T-ball, father daughter events, every single day a phone call what ever it was/is I'm there ALWAYS.

Then I just started using it as an excuse because I got comfortable being alone and or just not doing any of the the stuff I considered fun or part of my life before I became a parent. Now 17 years later all my dudes are married and moved away and I'm like Encino man dusting off all my early 2000s gear and stepping back into the outside world trying to find my old *** washed self

And I'm sure people have told you along the way, "Dude, you're a good dad, but you're allowed to do things for yourself."
Good on you for making that bond with your girl the most important thing you've got... or even the only thing at times.
One father to another, I appreciate you.
Setting that foundation makes it so that she won't be in her 30s feeling clueless & alone, lashing out at people because she's bitter from having no support.
Never that, not with the Dad she's got.
#lovetoseeit

 

[dontsteponmyshoes]

And I'm sure people have told you along the way, "Dude, you're a good dad, but you're allowed to do things for yourself."
Good on you for making that bond with your girl the most important thing you've got... or even the only thing at times.
One father to another, I appreciate you.
Setting that foundation makes it so that she won't be in her 30s feeling clueless & alone, lashing out at people because she's bitter from having no support.
Never that, not with the Dad she's got.
#lovetoseeit

Thanks bruh that means a lot

 

[mplsdunk]

I gotta tell myself it’s fine to do my own thing too sometimes.

Like right now she’s got a friend over I could be running errands and getting that out of the way, fishing or whatever because she’s perfectly fine kicking it with her friend and taking selfies with the cat.

 

[datznasty]

Yes.
I've been on both sides of those calls (meaning that I've made them on extremely disturbing details from kiddo clients I've had, and I've also had to cooperate with CPS/DCFS).
I can assure you: if you have nothing to worry about, you have nothing to worry about.

yep. they get on your case and be overbearing for a while, then realize they are wasting time and barking up the wrong tree and it's kids out there who are actually being abused or whatever they should tend to rather than trying to nitpick over interviewing a toddler or things out of place in the home.

Our's started because my bm#2 and scheduling for the pediatrician, 2 hardheaded *** black women, kind of had beef and she literally told us, "ok, fail to reschedule an appointment again, it's gonna be something," basically, and to her defense she is right bm#2 kept rescheduling routine appointments, but the scheduler told CPS that m daughter was literally dying and would die in days so all of a suddens they sent an agent out to the house then made her follow us to the appointment, the agent told the DR about how baby#2 was about to die if not for the CPS/DHS intervention, DR was like wtf no she isn't. And for the most part that was that, they made us register in some parenting classes (both have prior kids btw) which were virtual and sign up for some services which we pretty much ****** off and they disappeared

 

[jkballer5]

Late, but hope all the Dads here had a great Father's Day! I was blessed to have my very first one as my little one was born in April. Dad life has had its extremely challenging moments already, but extremely rewarding!

 

[DCAllAfrican]

 

[wayniac211]

Babies are sensory and can't talk lol. If they could they'd probably tell us "wtf foo"

 

[sonoftony]

I'm so trying that later

 

[lpheat22]

Our little dudes terrible 2’s are something else. He’s gotten into the habit of crying when he’s done with anything. He’s not really talking right now so we got connected with regional center and have speech and Occupational therapy for him. Wife and I can’t wait for him to start talking but just being patient with him for now.

 

[pdino]

Our little dudes terrible 2’s are something else. He’s gotten into the habit of crying when he’s done with anything. He’s not really talking right now so we got connected with regional center and have speech and Occupational therapy for him. Wife and I can’t wait for him to start talking but just being patient with him for now.

My guy's 2.5 years old and a little speech delayed. The Speech therapy has been basically them training us to teach him . Kids move at their own pace and even though the doctors want them to say X amount of words by X age, they'll get there when ready, don't stress.

 

[cgs37]

Elementary age kids shoes: what do y’all like as far as durability, style, value?

 

[wayniac211]

Elementary age kids shoes: what do y’all like as far as durability, style, value?

Non white shoes

 

[stuntman mike]

Elementary age kids shoes: what do y’all like as far as durability, style, value?

i went through a phase of buying my kid a bunch of expensive shoes. nowadays we go to famous footwear or get shoes on super clearance from nike when they drop discount codes. durability not usually an issue cause they outgrow them so quickly. summertime and weekends they mostly wear crocs tho

my son is going into the 6th grade and we’ve pretty much discouraged most video games his whole life. we recently let him start playing brawl stars and i looked it up beforehand and had to tell him there’s not gonna be any in-app purchasing. it’s wild how predatory that **** is. my poor son is having a great time even tho he’s playing with the most basic **** compared to his friends.

 

[lpheat22]

My guy's 2.5 years old and a little speech delayed. The Speech therapy has been basically them training us to teach him . Kids move at their own pace and even though the doctors want them to say X amount of words by X age, they'll get there when ready, don't stress.

Yup more like therapy for us. My mom told me that I didn’t really start speaking until I was 3/4 so not to be worried. He’s just total opposite of our daughter who picked up talking pretty easily.

 

[darthska]

Elementary age kids shoes: what do y’all like as far as durability, style, value?

Anything under $20.
They.
Will.
NOTTTTTTT.
Last.
I had my kid rocking Jordans, but I would 100000% get them from friends whose kids had outgrew them, or FB marketplace for super cheap.

 

[solewoman]

Elementary age kids shoes: what do y’all like as far as durability, style, value?

Dunks, AF1 or any cheap black Nike.

 

[cragmatic]

My guy's 2.5 years old and a little speech delayed. The Speech therapy has been basically them training us to teach him . Kids move at their own pace and even though the doctors want them to say X amount of words by X age, they'll get there when ready, don't stress.

Have you had him watch any Ms Rachel or Steve and Maggie?

My daughter will be 3 in 3 months, we did a lot of Ms Rachel between like 1 and 2, and Steve and Maggie she got into after 2, I’m not sure if they contributed for sure, but her vocabulary is amazing and has been talking for quite some time, and they are both kids YouTube shows designed to help speech.

 

[cragmatic]

Yup more like therapy for us. My mom told me that I didn’t really start speaking until I was 3/4 so not to be worried. He’s just total opposite of our daughter who picked up talking pretty easily.

I think it’s pretty common girls talk sooner than boys, that seems to be the consensus when talking with other parents/grand parents who come into my job, most people report that experience.

 

[Case]

Bought my son his first car over the weekend..He saved up half and we paid the other half/taxes/tags/couple months of insurance..He should have his license in a couple weeks so I won’t have to be his taxi anymore..Which is kinda sad..

 

[Blake P]

Bought my son his first car over the weekend..He saved up half and we paid the other half/taxes/tags/couple months of insurance..He should have his license in a couple weeks so I won’t have to be his taxi anymore..Which is kinda sad..

Props! My kids are still young, but I hear auto insurance for a young driver is $eriou$…?

 

[cgs37]

Bought my son his first car over the weekend..He saved up half and we paid the other half/taxes/tags/couple months of insurance..He should have his license in a couple weeks so I won’t have to be his taxi anymore..Which is kinda sad..

on him saving up for half. Raising a responsible young man

 

[Case]

Props! My kids are still young, but I hear auto insurance for a young driver is $eriou$…?

Thank you..I'm not sure what it'll be yet..Our insurance agent said a way to save money would be for me to buy the car and title it in my name, then add him as an authorized driver when he gets his license next month..But as of right now the cost is only $431 for 6 months of full coverage insurance..So I'm thinking it'll cost him about a grand per year (which isn't bad IMO)..

 

[Blake P]

Thank you..I'm not sure what it'll be yet..Our insurance agent said a way to save money would be for me to buy the car and title it in my name, then add him as an authorized driver when he gets his license next month..But as of right now the cost is only $431 for 6 months of full coverage insurance..So I'm thinking it'll cost him about a grand per year (which isn't bad IMO)..

Wow, that's not bad at all. I was hearing more in the $2-3k+ per year range for a new 16-18 year old driver.