Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[darthska]

How incredibly poorly trained are these daycare workers that this is being reported as potential abuse?

Honestly im beginning to wonder if when we called out the optics of ignoring my crying child for 15 minutes, that an employee/employees were disciplined and if this is retaliation? I don’t want to think that, but I’m open to the possibility

Not even going to lie to you: that's a strong possibility.

Not only do we trust these people with our daughter but pay these people 300 dollars a week, and they aren’t even properly trained. So frustrating.

Are there other places? How much did you look into them before deciding on them?

we have been nothing but cooperative

That goes a loooooong way.
If you knew the absolute TRASH parents those people deal with, your nervousness would be calmed. Healthy parents make their job so easy, but they don't know that someone is a healthy parent at the beginning, because there are so many abusive, neglectful parents who think they have a convincing facade of niceness.
Genuine transparency says a lot. I had to deal with them a couple years ago regarding my kiddo, and I didn't sweat it one bit because I knew that we're good. I'm not perfect, but I knew we were good. When the CPS worker came out, they talked about our routine, how we handle frustrating situations, etc.

 

[cragmatic]

The daycare that I chose has a strong presence where I live and I know people who have used them, we liked that they have an app and cameras. I have registered for her to go somewhere else but there is a wait.

The CPS worker just texted both of us and told us that they only work when we are at work, so essentially we have to miss more time at work to accommodate them. That’s part of why this is so frustrating as well. I know my child is well taken care of and loved and I’m not concerned about them saying otherwise, I’m more upset/offended by the lack of compassion from a single one of the workers. We have been nothing but extremely cooperative in a timely manner, and they don’t seem to care or acknowledge how much it’s interrupting our lives.

I asked if they can make an exception and meet on a Saturday, but I’m expecting them to tell me I have to take time out of work. SMH.

It’s also extremely frustrating that based on the research I’m doing, if it’s possible this was reported out of retaliation, there’s almost zero chance of recourse for parents and it’s pretty much impossible to prove someone made accusations in bad faith. I understand it’s to protect children that need it, but they truly need to revamp the system somehow.

 

[darthska]

the lack of compassion from a single one of the workers

I know it's frustrating, but try to remember that they don't know you, and they deal with, (and I cannot overstate this), absolute SCUM.
There's no way to sugarcoat it: their job is not to look out for parents. It's the kiddos.
I know it's tough; that's why I decided to respond to you. It's nerve-wracking and seems very robotic/emotionless.

I know my child is well taken care of and loved and I’m not concerned about them saying otherwise

Then that's how it's going to play out.

they truly need to revamp the system somehow.

My friend, I advocate for this...
C O N S T A N T L Y.
I had a conference today 2 hours away and I sparked a pretty heated discussion when there was an open forum, a discussion centered around basically your case.

 

[cragmatic]

I know it's frustrating, but try to remember that they don't know you, and they deal with, (and I cannot overstate this), absolute SCUM.
There's no way to sugarcoat it: their job is not to look out for parents. It's the kiddos.
I know it's tough; that's why I decided to respond to you. It's nerve-stallinglwhaling and seems very robotic/emotionless.

Then that's how it's going to play out.

My friend, I advocate for this...
C O N S T A N T L Y.
I had a conference today 2 hours away and I sparked a pretty heated discussion when there was an open forum, a discussion centered around basically your case.

I truly appreciate all of your input and I appreciate you. Thank you.

 

[sportsjunkie]

Great Thread. It isn't easy being a father but Fathers are appreciated. I've been through the ringer trying to be a father. In and out of court, child support and etc. I been active father since my son birth. Them Mothers are something else.

 

[jumpman247]

It's almost our time to shine fellas! I honestly just want to sleep to 9 or 10 am sunday and I'll be happy.

 

[stuntman mike]

we usually go out and i get a good cheeseburger and a pastry for breakfast then i go back home and nap while the wife and kids leave the house so it's quiet

 

[cragmatic]

Update,

Spoke with the district manager of the daycare today, they confirmed the original red mark that was reported WAS INDEED viewed , at a diaper change after naptime. Go figure!

After hearing that I got into full advocate for myself and family mode, and straight up said that I expect they will compensate us for the hospital bill as well as work missed, her immediate response was “I’ll talk to legal” tells me right there they know they were in the wrong.

Also, common sense would say, if among the 2-3 diaper changes in the AM between drop off and nap time, and there was no red mark, it clearly happened from something at day care…. Taking a nap and laying on her side

So regardless, if they wanted to file a report, they shoulda been suspicious of the day care, not the parents. All of this is so ridiculous.

 

[darthska]

Spoke with the district manager of the daycare today, they confirmed the original red mark that was reported WAS INDEED viewed , at a diaper change after naptime.

I had no doubt, fr fr.
The fact that you were like "I know my child is loved and cared for and I'm not worried about them saying so" told me all I needed to know.
Hopefully you get resolution with the day 'care' center.

 

[Public Enemy]

Happy Fathers Day everybody!

 

[sneakaprince]

Happy fathers day gang.

 

[darthska]

Happy father's day, allll!!!!
Post pics if you feel so inclined.
Bringing him home, 16 years ago:

And last week at marching band camp (he's on the right) with one of his best friends:

And what he LOOOOVES:

New video by Mike D

photos.app.goo.gl

 

[sonoftony]

Happy Father's day Brahs

 

[townbidness]

Happy father's day, allll!!!!
Post pics if you feel so inclined.
Bringing him home, 16 years ago:

And last week at marching band camp (he's on the right) with one of his best friends:

And what he LOOOOVES:

New video by Mike D

photos.app.goo.gl

Man this makes me sad. Life flys by..

 

[darthska]

Man this makes me sad. Life flys by..

Nah, not me. People say that kind of stuff all the time and I honestly and truly don't get it. I loved when he was an infant, I loved when he was a toddler, loved when he was child, love him now as a teenager, and looking forward to him as a young man.

 

[Blake P]

I never look back at baby pictures and wish my kids were babies again. Maybe I’m weird, but that’s been my least favorite stage by far. It wasn’t until they could start moving around and communicating that I started to relax and enjoy it.

 

[maq25060]

My coworker is the same.

I'm a bigger fan of the baby phase...yeah, it's cool to have a person to actually interact with, but I'll take the simplicity that comes with a baby vs the alternative. Plus they're so stinking cute...a baby laughs and it blows your mind. My 9 year old has copied my fake laugh...uses it all the time and it drives me up a wall.

 

[jrp44]

Happy Father's day everyone

 

[sonoftony]

It ain't Father's day if you don't get a fresh set of new drawls

 

[domogotsole]

It ain't Father's day if you don't get a fresh set of new drawls

Word. But to let you know where I’m at in the game, I requested it.

 

[darthska]

My son has a leather booklet that my sister gave me for my birthday years ago, and he has used it to draw and dawdle damn near his whole life.
He's been away at band camp the last week and I was tidying up his room. I came across the booklet sitting in his room.
These pictures are what he wrote on the back of the booklet at some point.
Sometimes I wonder if my dark pushes him away... and then sometimes there's this:

I'm not crying. You're crying.
Me? It's my allergies, man...

 

[dontsteponmyshoes]

I wouldn't change the relationship with my daughter that I currently have we're as close as can be. I only think about the early times and miss them because I wish I could have more. I was doing the co-parenting **** and when you only see her every other weekend at that age you feel like you're missing out on so much even if it's really not the case. Sometimes I wish I would have fought in court and tried harder to see her more but then I think about the wasted money, time and emotion and look at the relationship I was still being able to build just by being there and being present and not letting any outside factors effect our bond. With her getting accepted into her dream college and her just being an overall dope person I can finally feel comfort in knowing I did my part and I did it pretty fn well.

Happy Father's Day fellas

 

[sneakaprince]

I wouldn't change the relationship with my daughter that I currently have we're as close as can be. I only think about the early times and miss them because I wish I could have more. I was doing the co-parenting **** and when you only see her every other weekend at that age you feel like you're missing out on so much even if it's really not the case. Sometimes I wish I would have fought in court and tried harder to see her more but then I think about the wasted money, time and emotion and look at the relationship I was still being able to build just by being there and being present and not letting any outside factors effect our bond. With her getting accepted into her dream college and her just being an overall dope person I can finally feel comfort in knowing I did my part and I did it pretty fn well.

Happy Father's Day fellas

Love to hear stories like this. Happy fathers Day.

 

[lauk4kicks]

Happy Father's day NT!

Time goes by so quickly. How do you all find balance? Work, kids/home life, hobbies, etc.

Just seems like I'm always rushing from work to dad mode (get dinner on table, showers, and in bed on time). After they are in bed, its clearing up chores and getting ready for tomorrow and then work I have to finish before the next day.

I kind of feel guilty for sending my kid to day camp for most of the summer cause I need to get home projects done and relax. But, I'll be able to pick up one kid after camp and spend a 1-2 hours with just us before we pick up the 2nd kid.

 

[darthska]

How do you all find balance? Work, kids/home life, hobbies, etc.

Just seems like I'm always rushing from work to dad mode (get dinner on table, showers, and in bed on time). After they are in bed, its clearing up chores and getting ready for tomorrow and then work I have to finish before the next day.

You answered already.
That's it.
#dadlife
My kid is 16 now, and I'm JUST getting back to things I used to do when he was an infant and his mom & I were together. I'm just now feeling like I maybe have some time to date and have some cotdamb time to myself. My whole life for 16 years has been doing everything I can for him, including going to every single one of his performances, except for 3.
His entire schooling: parent-teacher conferences, recitals, band performances, I've missed 3, total. Birthday parties, volunteering on school trips, EVERYTHING bruh. My balance has been that I will do everything I can for him, and I have.