Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[dontsteponmyshoes]

My 16 year old started having a lot of the same feelings last year her sophomore year. She would say how she would feel not herself and need a break from class. We had her going through counseling provided by the EAP program at my job that's through the health insurance but it was video conferences so she said it helped she just didn't connect with the counselor.

We found out later that her school district offered actual therapy sessions for students. So for the last 2 years she has 2 appointments during Mondays and Wednesdays that have helped her. She's a Honor Society student and all of her teachers know sometimes she may just need to step away so she can focus.

She's also more open with me since getting an outside prospective. I would 1000% recommend therapy most employers have a program that extends to family and more schools are offering it as well.

 

[mplsdunk]

i don’t know how you feel but I feel like it’s totally normal for kids (adults too) these days. I’m just glad she told me so we can get the ball rolling.

I’m glad it’s working for your daughter, yeah it sounds pretty similar. Nothing she said scared me but I don’t want her feeling like that so I’m seeking help for her tomorrow.

She said she wanted outside help and not anyone from the school and she also doesn’t want her mom involved and she lives in GA with her. She wants virtual for now but if needed she will have her mom take her.

I know I can get her in what she needs. My wife used to go on my insurance. I’m just hoping they will talk to a 17 year because my nephew who is 13 has a hard time finding one. Pediatric therapists are in really high demand.

Our daughters sound similar. Smart af and actually talk to their dads.

 

[dontsteponmyshoes]

Yeah I love our relationship. She's told me before she doesn't believe in secrets, and she's never discussed anything in her sessions that she wouldn't eventually talk to me about. She said she already knows I want the best for her and what my responses will be so she wants to bounce her thoughts of somebody relatively unobjective and then come to me.

Which I respect, I told her that while ill respect her privacy I won't ask what she talks about so she can have that sense of comfort, all I ask is that if it's ever something serious serious just fill me in ASAP.

I try my best not to force my ways or opinions and just give her information about life. I try not to give advice because that means I want her to react my way. So I giving out info on the game of life all day so she can hopefully make the best choices for her, but she knows I'm right there to scoop her up when she stumble. As long as she learns from the mistakes and doesn't make em again that's all I can ask.

Sounds like me and you both doing alright with it up to this point. Props to you dad for helping her and her knowing that she can turn to you and you'll act immediately.

 

[mplsdunk]

yeah, my daughter usually tells me or my wife anything. she's getting pretty fed up with her mom too but I just let that be. she's old enough to form her own opinions.

yeah, I already told her she can just keep whatever she says to her therapist when we find one between them or tell me if you want. my wife explained to her there's nothing wrong with her but it's just good to talk to them to teach you how to manage yourself even if it sounds stupid like how to breathe when you're anxious. my wife is bi polar but you'd never know unless she told you so she has plenty experience with this stuff and my daughter knows it.

I don't force my opinions on my daughter either, sometimes my wife tries too and I have to tell her she needs to stand down, idk, I know I'm not like all her friends parents. they are 10+ years older than me but I feel like it makes her more likely to talk to me. I don't threaten and make her do bs just to do it, I give her a lot of freedom.

yeah props for being a good dad, it's a lot of making it up as you go for sure and figuring it out. my wife helps a lot too so I'm lucky there.

 

[wayniac211]

Thx goodness Uber for youth finally opened up here in Cali. That hop ride skip app was charging 30$ + for a 1/2 mile drive

 

[darthska]

My 16-yo son has grown up (and is still VERY MUCH into) DBZ, Pokémon, Sonic, & Beyblades.
I probably know 5 thinks about each.
.
.
Actually... now that I think about it...
I probably should have paid attention more.

I know there are quite a few young NT dads on here that ask for advice.

Put energy into being into your kids' ****; don't just put energy into teaching, guiding, and molding.

 

[mplsdunk]

My daughter likes Fortnite.

I went on that mf playing it like modern warfare, no building just headshots. Won 4 matches in a row.

That’s how she knows I’m a true hero

 

[maq25060]

My daughter likes Fortnite.

I went on that mf playing it like modern warfare, no building just headshots. Won 4 matches in a row.

That’s how she knows I’m a true hero

Man I tried to play that **** with my nieces and nephew during christmas. They don't play for real...just dancing and ******* around while I'm trying to learn the game and get into some action.

Wasn't for me.

 

[darthska]

Man I tried to play that **** with my nieces and nephew during christmas. They don't play for real...just dancing and ****ing around while I'm trying to learn the game and get into some action.

Wasn't for me.

"I'm here to kick *** and build... and everything's built."
- maq25060 & mplsdunk
(probably)

 

[mplsdunk]

Daughter tried to tell me that’s now how we play… ok? That’s why you and your friends don’t win.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

 

[Grine]

 

[darthska]

- me: I know it's Spring Break but you're not going to sit on the couch and play video games all day.
- him: Sssoooo exercise bike. Got it.
(Yes, he's pedaling.)

- me:

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Hell the same can be said about how we treat kids without disabilities.

Too much overall coddling and babying in general takes place and it's holding so many kids back.

But to the video topic, I agree.

"Never do for your kids anything they can do for themselves."

 

[sonoftony]

Just the other day on Thursday, I take my baby girl to her appointment in this fit . I did not expect random people (including her Dr.) to think she's a boy . FYI, she's a spitting imagine of me . It's now that time to get her ears pierced.

 

[stuntman mike]

My 16-yo son has grown up (and is still VERY MUCH into) DBZ, Pokémon, Sonic, & Beyblades.
I probably know 5 thinks about each.

took my son to a birthday party and bought the kid some pokemon cards from my bro here on NT.

the kid pulls a $400 card from one of the packs and everyone goes nuts and my son is a hero. this is me when i hear the “good news”.

 

[Liquid Swords]

Simple as that. Props to dads here who put in that dialogue to our kids

 

[onthenephs]

So he waits to till he’s about to enter his home to get a hug on Ring camera and then Upload it. Cool.

These social media pops going viral are terrible.

 

[Blake P]

So he waits to till he’s about to enter his home to get a hug on Ring camera and then Upload it. Cool.

These social media pops going viral are terrible.

I totally get what you're saying and agree to an extent. There's no way I would choose to advertise the things I do in order to try and make myself look better to others. It's the same concept as people who post pictures of their receipts to show how much they donated to a cause, something nice they did for their spouse, etc. But in the end, if it inspires others to make positive steps in their own life then so be it.

 

[Liquid Swords]

I get your point. It was a nice reminder for me. The older my boys get the more talking and guiding I’m doing but recently my oldest asked me to please listen to what he’s saying and expressing.
Hit my feels.
Then this reel popped up since google and apple eaves drop everything.
My dad didn’t listen to me and brothers until we were older.

 

[darthska]

So he waits to till he’s about to enter his home to get a hug on Ring camera and then Upload it. Cool.

These social media pops going viral are terrible.

So you see a video of a bunch of kids genuinely hugging their dads and your take is "Tuh. Whatever"?
Cool.
Beautiful forest in front of you but you're complaining about the trees in the way.

 

[maq25060]

Meh, two things can be right at once.

It can absolutely be a beautiful message and an attention whoring moment all at once.

 

[alfa]

Take the insta likes. It was a good message about connecting with the kids.

 

[wayniac211]

lol. Not gona front these vids are cringe as fuh. Acting like you want an extra star for doing what you HAVE to do. Leave that **** for the moms bruh

 

[stuntman mike]

nonetheless, it hit me in the feels. i been snapping at my son over his math to the point where i had to reset, took him out for his favorite snacks (salmon and japanese candy). i apologized and we talked. being a parent is rough sometimes.