Official Depression thread

Seasonal Affective Disorder hitting me hard this season. Definitely missing a lot of enjoyment in things that usually make me happy. Finding it hard to get motivated/moving in the morning. Not sleeping excessively, but I've been up since 7 and telling myself I'll get up and go to the gym since about 8:30. Been taking time off from dating just because I haven't been feeling it as of late (not to mention decent prospects are lacking around my way). Just generally feeling like I'm stuck in a rut and not really working towards anything...just kind of winding down the days.

The fortunate thing is that the majority of stuff making me bummed out is situational, but it just sucks in the meantime. Gonna spend the Winter looking for a change--new job, new location (most likely Brooklyn so I can be closer to all of my good friends), and hopefully pin down exactly which advanced practice degree I want to pursue. It's not a fix-all, but I foresee it alleviating a lot of my feelings of stagnation.
 
whoever is going through it keep pushing, and if you need to take an anti-depressant ask for Welbutrin. That **** helped me out big time last year, but dont take it for more than 3 months
 
Time of year I look at annual salary on last paystub and compare from last year. Goal is to always improve. Did well this year. Pat on the back.
3 years ago I went from 75k to 15k. Jobless for 5 months, living with my in-laws, depressed & thinking penitentiary chances. Got my **** together and reframed thinking cap from immediate gratification to delayed. Have short term goals that can lead to long term and smoke good trees that will help with aggressive thoughts.
NT helped as well. Keep it moving and grooving fambs :nthat:
 
caught some charges in feb . Statute of limitations is 365 days for a misdemeanor , if I don’t get a letter from court/call from my attorney notifying me of my arraignment within the next two months , it means they’re going after me for felonies . Don’t want to explain much more than that for now .

Graduated HS ‘07 - barely made it through university . got kicked out halfway through for truancy due to some **** I got caught up in outside of school so I went back to finish my degree last year at 28 . After finally copping that bachelors I caught the bug and planned on furthering my education so I could teach music since its the only thing keeping me sane , but I can’t manage it while working full time and trying to start a family - even if I did get into the program i wanted , I don’t think I could land a proper teaching job with my criminal record .

Engaged but can’t plan my wedding/set a date . not trying to book a venue , invite everyone and go through all that work then have court date hovering over my head/or be back in jail or prison on the day I’m supposed to get married . It’s supposed to be an exciting (albeit stressful/frustrating) process .

Been sober since my arrest , checked myself into a court approved outpatient program (mostly in hopes of showing the judge that I’m taking proactive measures to help myself) . fam says I’m an alcoholic for many reasons . After being in this program for ten months - I think I am and that’s ok . I don’t really want to drink . I’m going to stay in it until feb 15 2019 to complete exactly one year of sobriety (program has a mandatory weekly drug test along with 24/7 alcohol monitoring) . Can’t wait to smoke a joint at this point , the last 9 months were a breeze but now everything feels like it’s falling apart

Same **** you’ve probably heard a million times . Was the black sheep growing up and still am . Had to leave my apartment to pay for attorney fees and this program . Work a dead end job where I’ve hit the ceiling , feel like I’m mooching off my grandma even though I pay bills and all that . only sight of neighbors I see are shut doors and turned heads when I walk by them . Most of my friends are addicts , in prison/trouble with the law , in the neighborhood gang , or ******* dead from any combination of the three . My little brothers the golden child and I’m proud of him . cousins are all doing good pre med or engineers , really ****en good . Auntie said and uncles always throw shade at me and I don’t give a **** - but it hurts when I see my parents having to take it cuz they can’t say **** back .

I’m tired of California . Visited my uncle in NYC and that place is alive . . but if I cant get my **** together here I can’t do it anywhere . I do seriously feel like moving the **** out of LA though .

**** sucks right now , I mean I’m happy for my fam my lady and waking up this morning but I just want self respect . . I want to feel proud I accomplished something in life and I feel like the window is closing . It didn’t even feel like Christmas yesterday .

Think I’m going to dip out from NT and the net in general until further notice . Sorry for the wall of text but I cant stand this **** anymore .

Music didn’t even sound good today and I haven’t practiced piano in a week . I won’t be posting for awhile , hopefully when I return I can feel good about life again .

Stay up
 
luhem said:
caught some charges in feb . Statute of limitations is 365 days for a misdemeanor , if I don’t get a letter from court/call from my attorney notifying me of my arraignment within the next two months , it means they’re going after me for felonies . Don’t want to explain much more than that for now .

Graduated HS ‘07 - barely made it through university . got kicked out halfway through for truancy due to some **** I got caught up in outside of school so I went back to finish my degree last year at 28 . After finally copping that bachelors I caught the bug and planned on furthering my education so I could teach music since its the only thing keeping me sane , but I can’t manage it while working full time and trying to start a family - even if I did get into the program i wanted , I don’t think I could land a proper teaching job with my criminal record .

Engaged but can’t plan my wedding/set a date . not trying to book a venue , invite everyone and go through all that work then have court date hovering over my head/or be back in jail or prison on the day I’m supposed to get married . It’s supposed to be an exciting (albeit stressful/frustrating) process .

Been sober since my arrest , checked myself into a court approved outpatient program (mostly in hopes of showing the judge that I’m taking proactive measures to help myself) . fam says I’m an alcoholic for many reasons . After being in this program for ten months - I think I am and that’s ok . I don’t really want to drink . I’m going to stay in it until feb 15 2019 to complete exactly one year of sobriety (program has a mandatory weekly drug test along with 24/7 alcohol monitoring) . Can’t wait to smoke a joint at this point , the last 9 months were a breeze but now everything feels like it’s falling apart

Same **** you’ve probably heard a million times . Was the black sheep growing up and still am . Had to leave my apartment to pay for attorney fees and this program . Work a dead end job where I’ve hit the ceiling , feel like I’m mooching off my grandma even though I pay bills and all that . only sight of neighbors I see are shut doors and turned heads when I walk by them . Most of my friends are addicts , in prison/trouble with the law , in the neighborhood gang , or ****ing dead from any combination of the three . My little brothers the golden child and I’m proud of him . cousins are all doing good pre med or engineers , really ****en good . Auntie said and uncles always throw shade at me and I don’t give a **** - but it hurts when I see my parents having to take it cuz they can’t say **** back .

I’m tired of California . Visited my uncle in NYC and that place is alive . . but if I cant get my **** together here I can’t do it anywhere . I do seriously feel like moving the **** out of LA though .

**** sucks right now , I mean I’m happy for my fam my lady and waking up this morning but I just want self respect . . I want to feel proud I accomplished something in life and I feel like the window is closing . It didn’t even feel like Christmas yesterday .

Think I’m going to dip out from NT and the net in general until further notice . Sorry for the wall of text but I cant stand this **** anymore .

Music didn’t even sound good today and I haven’t practiced piano in a week . I won’t be posting for awhile , hopefully when I return I can feel good about life again .

Stay up
Click to expand...
Good to see that you still care bout what your parents think. Let that feeling sit while you mature. Things WILL definitely get better
 
luhem said:
caught some charges in feb . Statute of limitations is 365 days for a misdemeanor , if I don’t get a letter from court/call from my attorney notifying me of my arraignment within the next two months , it means they’re going after me for felonies . Don’t want to explain much more than that for now .

Graduated HS ‘07 - barely made it through university . got kicked out halfway through for truancy due to some **** I got caught up in outside of school so I went back to finish my degree last year at 28 . After finally copping that bachelors I caught the bug and planned on furthering my education so I could teach music since its the only thing keeping me sane , but I can’t manage it while working full time and trying to start a family - even if I did get into the program i wanted , I don’t think I could land a proper teaching job with my criminal record .

Engaged but can’t plan my wedding/set a date . not trying to book a venue , invite everyone and go through all that work then have court date hovering over my head/or be back in jail or prison on the day I’m supposed to get married . It’s supposed to be an exciting (albeit stressful/frustrating) process .

Been sober since my arrest , checked myself into a court approved outpatient program (mostly in hopes of showing the judge that I’m taking proactive measures to help myself) . fam says I’m an alcoholic for many reasons . After being in this program for ten months - I think I am and that’s ok . I don’t really want to drink . I’m going to stay in it until feb 15 2019 to complete exactly one year of sobriety (program has a mandatory weekly drug test along with 24/7 alcohol monitoring) . Can’t wait to smoke a joint at this point , the last 9 months were a breeze but now everything feels like it’s falling apart

Same **** you’ve probably heard a million times . Was the black sheep growing up and still am . Had to leave my apartment to pay for attorney fees and this program . Work a dead end job where I’ve hit the ceiling , feel like I’m mooching off my grandma even though I pay bills and all that . only sight of neighbors I see are shut doors and turned heads when I walk by them . Most of my friends are addicts , in prison/trouble with the law , in the neighborhood gang , or ****ing dead from any combination of the three . My little brothers the golden child and I’m proud of him . cousins are all doing good pre med or engineers , really ****en good . Auntie said and uncles always throw shade at me and I don’t give a **** - but it hurts when I see my parents having to take it cuz they can’t say **** back .

I’m tired of California . Visited my uncle in NYC and that place is alive . . but if I cant get my **** together here I can’t do it anywhere . I do seriously feel like moving the **** out of LA though .

**** sucks right now , I mean I’m happy for my fam my lady and waking up this morning but I just want self respect . . I want to feel proud I accomplished something in life and I feel like the window is closing . It didn’t even feel like Christmas yesterday .

Think I’m going to dip out from NT and the net in general until further notice . Sorry for the wall of text but I cant stand this **** anymore .

Music didn’t even sound good today and I haven’t practiced piano in a week . I won’t be posting for awhile , hopefully when I return I can feel good about life again .

Stay up
Click to expand...

Amazon product ASIN 1544512279
Heard this book is the truth. Might want to give it a look. Comes with accolades from a lot of people and it only dropped a couple weeks ago.
 
Been real moody a lot lately. Even some strange eating habits.

Don't remember where I was at, maybe FreeBirds, but I couldn't finish a simple burrito bowl with mixed chicken.
 
luhem luhem

Keep your head up man. I know that feeling dealing with charges, basically in limbo. Stressful af. Hopefully you got yourself a good lawyer and he/she will do their damn thing.

Keep doing what you're doing, stack your paper, do good. Insha Allah it'll work out for you.
 
luhem said:
caught some charges in feb . Statute of limitations is 365 days for a misdemeanor , if I don’t get a letter from court/call from my attorney notifying me of my arraignment within the next two months , it means they’re going after me for felonies . Don’t want to explain much more than that for now .

Graduated HS ‘07 - barely made it through university . got kicked out halfway through for truancy due to some **** I got caught up in outside of school so I went back to finish my degree last year at 28 . After finally copping that bachelors I caught the bug and planned on furthering my education so I could teach music since its the only thing keeping me sane , but I can’t manage it while working full time and trying to start a family - even if I did get into the program i wanted , I don’t think I could land a proper teaching job with my criminal record .

Engaged but can’t plan my wedding/set a date . not trying to book a venue , invite everyone and go through all that work then have court date hovering over my head/or be back in jail or prison on the day I’m supposed to get married . It’s supposed to be an exciting (albeit stressful/frustrating) process .

Been sober since my arrest , checked myself into a court approved outpatient program (mostly in hopes of showing the judge that I’m taking proactive measures to help myself) . fam says I’m an alcoholic for many reasons . After being in this program for ten months - I think I am and that’s ok . I don’t really want to drink . I’m going to stay in it until feb 15 2019 to complete exactly one year of sobriety (program has a mandatory weekly drug test along with 24/7 alcohol monitoring) . Can’t wait to smoke a joint at this point , the last 9 months were a breeze but now everything feels like it’s falling apart

Same **** you’ve probably heard a million times . Was the black sheep growing up and still am . Had to leave my apartment to pay for attorney fees and this program . Work a dead end job where I’ve hit the ceiling , feel like I’m mooching off my grandma even though I pay bills and all that . only sight of neighbors I see are shut doors and turned heads when I walk by them . Most of my friends are addicts , in prison/trouble with the law , in the neighborhood gang , or ****ing dead from any combination of the three . My little brothers the golden child and I’m proud of him . cousins are all doing good pre med or engineers , really ****en good . Auntie said and uncles always throw shade at me and I don’t give a **** - but it hurts when I see my parents having to take it cuz they can’t say **** back .

I’m tired of California . Visited my uncle in NYC and that place is alive . . but if I cant get my **** together here I can’t do it anywhere . I do seriously feel like moving the **** out of LA though .

**** sucks right now , I mean I’m happy for my fam my lady and waking up this morning but I just want self respect . . I want to feel proud I accomplished something in life and I feel like the window is closing . It didn’t even feel like Christmas yesterday .

Think I’m going to dip out from NT and the net in general until further notice . Sorry for the wall of text but I cant stand this **** anymore .

Music didn’t even sound good today and I haven’t practiced piano in a week . I won’t be posting for awhile , hopefully when I return I can feel good about life again .

Stay up
Click to expand...
You seem like a good dude who's aware of his own **** ups. Don't beat yourself up over mistakes you've made in the past brethren. You've been through **** a lot of people haven't and here you are still alive with a girl and at least a job. Use that as strength and encouragement that you can get through anything. Take it easy man
 
Homie who's in med school suspects I meet the criteria for clinical depression -- major depressive disorder
Will be seeing a therapist for the first time this week
 
Does anybody else ever have a nostalgic depression? I'm 37 and I'll be honest I'm still stuck in the past man.. it's hard for me to adjust to the new world/ social media era because I miss the simpler times.. everything that I do is rooted in Old School from the music, clothes and TV shows.. it's the only thing that brings me comfort nowadays.. I guess I'm just a really old soul...
 
illmatic kid said:
Does anybody else ever have a nostalgic depression? I'm 37 and I'll be honest I'm still stuck in the past man.. it's hard for me to adjust to the new world/ social media era because I miss the simpler times.. everything that I do is rooted in Old School from the music, clothes and TV shows.. it's the only thing that brings me comfort nowadays.. I guess I'm just a really old soul...
Click to expand...
Yes but you should stop that ****. Life is nothing like how it was growing up in 80s 90s early 00s. It's different, life today isn't even relatable or resemble the past. IT WAS BETTER BACK IN THE DAY. Those days are long gone.
 
QU!K said:
Y'all with anxiety should look into CBD since it's federally legal now
Click to expand...

Not quite buddy.....CBD still contains a low percentage of THC....which can still show on employment drug screenings.
Depending on the test threshold limits or testing/employment regulations that can still be an issue.
The lowest CBD concentrations I've seen in reputable CBD tincture companies was 3%
 
567113716.098873.jpg
sugafree said:
Not quite buddy.....CBD still contains a low percentage of THC....which can still show on employment drug screenings.
Depending on the test threshold limits or testing/employment regulations that can still be an issue.
The lowest CBD concentrations I've seen in reputable CBD tincture companies was 3%
Click to expand...
I bought some bud (in Canada) it's 0.5-0.7% thc

But you made a valid point about testing depending on your line of work
 
illmatic kid said:
Does anybody else ever have a nostalgic depression? I'm 37 and I'll be honest I'm still stuck in the past man.. it's hard for me to adjust to the new world/ social media era because I miss the simpler times.. everything that I do is rooted in Old School from the music, clothes and TV shows.. it's the only thing that brings me comfort nowadays.. I guess I'm just a really old soul...
Click to expand...

Yeah I'm definitely guilty of this. It's difficult to find a healthy, happy medium between appreciating and reflecting on your past and doing it too much to the point where you think you'll somehow relive it.
 
getback said:
Yeah I'm definitely guilty of this. It's difficult to find a healthy, happy medium between appreciating and reflecting on your past and doing it too much to the point where you think you'll somehow relive it.
Click to expand...
No doubt my man.. I'm trying to take it day by day but it's definitely not easy.. my memories of my past is what keeps me going..
 
gentrification said:
Yes but you should stop that ****. Life is nothing like how it was growing up in 80s 90s early 00s. It's different, life today isn't even relatable or resemble the past. IT WAS BETTER BACK IN THE DAY. Those days are long gone.
Click to expand...
Trust me fam I l know but for me it's easier said than done.. I live with and take care of my grandfather so I'm always around something old school and living in this house which is an older house in an older neighborhood definitely keeps me in that nostalgic mood because it's where I grew up at... I guess for me it has its pros and it's cons... the pros being it makes me extremely happy thinking about old times and the cons is knowing I can't go back to them...
 
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getback said:
Amazon product ASIN 1544512279
Heard this book is the truth. Might want to give it a look. Comes with accolades from a lot of people and it only dropped a couple weeks ago.
Click to expand...
I'm reading that book right now. If you guys don't know, look up David Goggins and listen to his interview with Joe Rogan and Tom Bileyeu. Dude grew up with a rough childhood and made himself into one of the toughest dude in the world. The book and interview is inspiring and can help with depression.
 
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