NTer's in relationships - Girl's Night Out and Social Media... Opinions ?

verbal, you're off on the girl description.  not loud, just outgoing.  has that likeable personality that is infectious.  about 5'8 and wrong ethnicity.  i think i painted her in a bad light from my original post.  i was making little things and blowing them way out of proportion.  in the grand scheme of things what she does is pretty harmless.  i just wasn't accustomed to having a gf not cater to everything i say.  which i will be the first to admit is totally wrong.  i can't be selfish and just get her to drop everyone else in her life to appease me.  i can't provide her that girl talk every girl needs sometimes.  and let's be honest, chilling with friends time to time and just kicking it can definitely be fun.  i realize everyone needs some balance in life.  she already works mon-fri 9-5 in the corporate world, i can't expect her to just want to chill at home with me fri-sun after that.  if i don't plan some date nights, then she should have every right to chill with her friends and de-stress from time to time.  in the end, i was being too selfish and only thinking in my shoes.
 
He also said what he meant by partying is going over to her friends house and drinking

That's honestly nothing to be worried about I think OP was just having an emotional night and is over it now so I'm happy to hear everything is ok now :lol
 
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helium, you're like a damn mind reader bro 
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i was def feeling some sorta way when i posted this a couple days ago.  think i just needed to read some opinions of strangers to get back to reality.
 
mrse7en said:
 
verbal, you're off on the girl description.  not loud, just outgoing.  has that likeable personality that is infectious.  about 5'8 and wrong ethnicity.  i think i painted her in a bad light from my original post.  i was making little things and blowing them way out of proportion.  in the grand scheme of things what she does is pretty harmless.  i just wasn't accustomed to having a gf not cater to everything i say.  which i will be the first to admit is totally wrong.  i can't be selfish and just get her to drop everyone else in her life to appease me.  i can't provide her that girl talk every girl needs sometimes.  and let's be honest, chilling with friends time to time and just kicking it can definitely be fun.  i realize everyone needs some balance in life.  she already works mon-fri 9-5 in the corporate world, i can't expect her to just want to chill at home with me fri-sun after that.  if i don't plan some date nights, then she should have every right to chill with her friends and de-stress from time to time.  in the end, i was being too selfish and only thinking in my shoes.
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Ok cool. Her actions seem eerily similar to a lot of others chicks with similar profiles(age, aesthetics) in this area i'm in. I'm sure we all have experiences in being that 3rd dude in someone elses relationship, so you just try to school other cats to the trouble spots in their situations before things get totally out of hand.
 
I never understand this whole "of your girl wants to cheat, she'll cheat"

That doesn't mean you set it up to make it easier for her to cheat.
 
Fontaine said:
I never understand this whole "of your girl wants to cheat, she'll cheat"

That doesn't mean you set it up to make it easier for her to cheat.
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what it means is you cant put the clamps on your girl 24/7...it comes down to a person character.


if shes gotta sneak and do some shade behind your back, she wont **** anyway.
 
I wouldn't necessarily call it making it easier for her to cheat. I just wouldn't overly stress myself over it and go out of my way to make unnecessary barriers when I shouldn't have to do that in the first place. If I'm honestly worried about her cheating and she gives legit reason to warrant those feelings, id rather just cut her loose and save myself the inevitable headaches.

Some people just can't appreciate a good thing. A girl can have a guy that has all the qualities ewd has but if shes the type to get that temptation, no matter how hard you cuff her, she'll find a way to get some side D.

Same with us dudes, I know plenty of dudes who got good gf's who from everything I see, do everything a guy would want a gf to do and yet the dude still cheats.

At the end of the day, you can cuff someone 23 hours out the day, if they really want something new, they'll find a way to make it happen in that free hour. Either way you'll just drive yourself crazy trying to control them or from the thoughts of wondering if their cheating. Its just not worth it to me.
 
Cedric Ceballos said:
I wouldn't necessarily call it making it easier for her to cheat. I just wouldn't overly stress myself over it and go out of my way to make unnecessary barriers when I shouldn't have to do that in the first place. If I'm honestly worried about her cheating and she gives legit reason to warrant those feelings, id rather just cut her loose and save myself the inevitable headaches.

.
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dudes be driving themselves crazy trying to make sure their girl stay in line. if you gotta make sure she stay in line then **** aint right from the start.
 
Fontaine said:
I never understand this whole "of your girl wants to cheat, she'll cheat"

That doesn't mean you set it up to make it easier for her to cheat.
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Def. agree.  Relationships really are a Cold War.. lots of posturing, subtle threats, mind games etc. Until you reach a resolution. That resolution usually being a different partner, or marriage where you fight the same war by a different set of rules.

     On the same token, as someone above me spelled out.. You cant live life in fear of your girls vag either. I think every chick has it in them to cheat.. the variables in life are what bring those things to the surface.. You just gotta learn to adjust on the fly, and not take everything so personal.. even infidelity.. as a girl choosing to cheat, is a personal one.. not necc. something youre doing wrong.
 
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Verbal Kint said:
^^ 3rd party rather*
Def. agree.  Relationships really are a Cold War.. lots of posturing, subtle threats, mind games etc. Until you reach a resolution. That resolution usually being a different partner, or marriage where you fight the same war by a different set of rules.
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gatdamn

it makes sense but so ruthless
 
thenewjs23 said:
Thats how my girl and I was. Have sex and everthing seemed straight. Told myself I could keep her around with the good d and we still broke up. My mom And pops clowned me. Pops said I guess you thought you were going to keep her with the d. He said she kept you with the box while she got better D from somewhere elses. Moms told me to connect emotionally With a woman and good D is now sold for 19.95 in variable speeds.

After my ex and i broke up she said exactly that.
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Your parents are savage
 
Fontaine said:
I never understand this whole "of your girl wants to cheat, she'll cheat"

That doesn't mean you set it up to make it easier for her to cheat.
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Letting a adult do what they want isn't setting anything up man :lol

Why should I have to tell my woman what not to do if we're in a monogamous relationship? She's my lady not a child I don't have to give her chores and guidelines. I made sure she had the right mindset and respect before we committed ourselves.

Hanging out with the same sex for sure ain't setting up cheating.
 
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a relationship is also a 2 way street.  if you're serious about your chick then you shouldn't play games.  online trying to holler at other chicks, trying to get yambs etc.  i think there really is a double standard when it comes to this.  you dudes want your girl to be faithful but then you're supposed to be allowed to act reckless ?  life doesn't work like that.  we gotta check and control our own actions too.
 
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Fontaine said:
I never understand this whole "of your girl wants to cheat, she'll cheat"

That doesn't mean you set it up to make it easier for her to cheat.
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This message get's muddied too much into the "let her do whatever" territory. Nah it's really about balance. Don't try to control her, that's never going to work (if it does, that's a mental weakling you don't want), also don't be this overly insecure, needy bastard. But check the negative signs where you need to. Everybody knows their own situation best to determine that balance.
 
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mrse7en said:
a relationship is also a 2 way street.  if you're serious about your chick then you shouldn't play games.  online trying to holler at other chicks, trying to get yambs etc.  i think there really is a double standard when it comes to this.  you dudes want your girl to be faithful but then you're supposed to be allowed to act reckless ?  life doesn't work like that.  we gotta check and control our own actions too.
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True. But, i'm not gonna follow anything you just posted. I'ma always have a backup to my backup to my main. Until I turn 70....then she could do whatever she wants.
 
Like my mans MASE said..."If you gonna cheat....expect yo girl to cheat on you too"

Realtalk... Say you trynna holla at a girl...she 30 yrs old, single, but still about that party lifestyle life. Tombout Mardi Gras, EDC, Vegas all that **** y'all usually go through in your 20's. She got a solid career and ay'thang...but the red flags are still there. Y'all still pursuing, NT?
 
tsam, i personally would like a girl like that.

however, on the flip side.  she is 30 and her biological clock is ticking.  maybe she has tried other resources in meeting people and nothing yet.  when you hit 30, especially for a girl i would imagine, they feel pretty lame and lonely if they are single.  they may put up a front and say they prefer to be single, working on their career etc. but who can honestly say that life isn't better with someone by your side.  i guess her activities right now would be bearable for the time being, but if you were to get with her and she still had that mindset then it'd be trouble.  at the end of the day, it all depends on what you're looking for in a relationship. 
 
tSamShoX said:
Like my mans MASE said..."If you gonna cheat....expect yo girl to cheat on you too"

Realtalk... Say you trynna holla at a girl...she 30 yrs old, single, but still about that party lifestyle life. Tombout Mardi Gras, EDC, Vegas all that **** y'all usually go through in your 20's. She got a solid career and ay'thang...but the red flags are still there. Y'all still pursuing, NT?
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Nope
 
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