Originally Posted by
IT B BERT
Eat shrooms, seriously.
http://www.entheogen.com/forum/showthread.php?p=186206
Well I really don't approve of most medications...so I'm not fully sold on going to the doctor. But let me tell you my experience regarding thatsubstance and depression:
WARNING: Long Read Ahead
Basically about a month ago some chick handed me an 1/8 of shrooms. Out of NOWHERE, just said here...take these and let me know what you think. For free.At the time I was going through a HUGE depression from school stress. I wasn't maintaining my success as a student the way I was hoping for...so I wassecond guessing myself...my self esteem was very low and I was on the verge of breaking. Mind you, when I came to this college...I was here to make a lifestylechange. I came to this college for specific reasons. One was because the program was awesome for the money. Another reason was so that I could get to know mydad better, and make amends to our relationship which wasn't too good, and at the time of this trip, my relationship with my dad had only made smallsteps, and wasn't where I wanted it to be...
But mainly my goals for this school year was to clean myself up. Before I came out here I was basically a thug running around wreckless, waiting for theending of my life to come...more like running towards the end. I sold drugs, I did drugs. I robbed people at gun point, I participated in cons...I was makingmoney and blowing it the same day. Eventually I ended up in jail time for drug possession, gun possession and aggravated assault and battery. I was luckythough...I was facing 3 felonies but lucky considering the police stole most of my stash and I wasn't charged with the full amount. I got the batterydropped because of misfiled paperwork, and the judge didn't wanna deal with the headache
. So I ended up with 2 Class A misdemeanors instead of 3 felonies. So after all that BS I realized there's no way I can be successful in what Iwas doing, nor happy. I've never been happy anyway but this lifestyle would only make things worse. If I kept at this I was sure enough to face major timefor drug distribution, robbery...or I would have ended up getting killed, or even worse I could have ended up with a murder charge, in the direction I washeading.
So you can see everything in my life that I was trying to clean out when I came out here. It really takes years to sober yourself up from drugs. And going to college living a straight forward life is not as easy as I thought it would be after getting use to the type of life I lived religously.
But anyways, after this chick gave me the shrooms...I was hesitant because I was in a sobering period of my life. Plus I was mad depressed. I even asked a fewNTers for advice regarding shrooms and depression (Props btw
), becauseyour not suppose to trip on shrooms while in a bad state of mind...it leads to bad trips = not good. And they basically said as long as I'm not on theverge of breaking I'm ok. Besides I've ALWAYS been depressed since I was a child. So I decided I would take these shrooms and figure out my life. Iwould reflect on why I'm not being as successful as I wanted to be and I would go back to the drawing board....BOY!
Well I waited until my head cleared enough...which was like a couple weeks. I took the shrooms and decided I would write a log on what I wasseeing/hallucinating because I had never done shrooms before and I wanted to remember everything, plus I would write down notes about what conclusions I cameup with while I was in "the light" of the shroom's wisdom.
I use to do the same thing with my Dex trips so I kind of knew what I was doing.
Well during my trip. Whilst I was writing in my log nitpicking at my life, I realized how complicated the brain really is. I was apart of one of those 1000piece puzzles that take forever to put together. My brain was a maze, one of those mazes with the bushes for walls that you have to walk out of ...it was likeone of those house of mirrors and you keep running into the same place if not running into mirrors and walls. It was hard trying to figure out myself, itreally gave me a headache. I wasn't having a bad trip though, I was actually having a blast! The Microsoft Word document I was writing on was floatingaround on my monitor screen while I was typing. It would minimize itself and do circles around other windows, and morph into weird obstacles
. The whole time I was typing I was writing down every aspect of what I felt needed to be fixed about my life. And that's how I realized howcomplicated my brain really is. After getting fed up with my brain's inner workings I decided to take a brake and play some mario 64
. WOW the terrible graphics on Mario 64 are really attractive on shrooms. Anyhow...after playing the game...the game turned into my life. I hadn't played the game in YEARS. So I was relearning everything, and somehow thistranslated into relearning my life. I felt like little Mario was a baby buggz and I had to learn how to run, walk and jump again. I felt like I had to learnhow to conform to modern rules again in order to advance through the game. I kept getting lost in certain levels and couldn't figure my way out. It waslike the maze inside of my brain had transformed into the game I was playing, and I couldn't find my way out. It scared me man
...not because of the weird spiders running around the spoooky looking mansion,but because the more I got lost, the more I realized how lost I MYSELF really was. Eventually after I figured that out, I went back to my computer to writethat in my log. When I got back to my computer to write down my new findings of my inner soul... I realized that Microsoft Word was really my only way ofcommunicating between me under the influence and me sober after I wake up from my trip. So then it turned out that the only way I could even talk to myselfPERIOD was from typing on the screen so I could read it! I did this for like 3 hours
. Eventually I realized how stupid it was for me to communicate in this way andhow much of a waste of time it was, and I decided to go look at the grass in Mario 64
...But that didn't last too long because I was already starting to comedown.
So moral of the story is make sure your head is right if your going to take shrooms. I definitely don't recommend shrooms as anti-depressants. I did feelgood while on shrooms, and really didn't feel too bad the day after...maybe slightly better from the self therapy and counseling. But the fact is, my headwasn't right when I took them, and that affected my trip in a very bad and complicated way. I can only imagine how much fun I would have had if not forthe state of mind I was already in...
Just my 2 coppers.
/rant
/vent
So Sorry for the long read
