My most embarrassing and frustrating sexual experience W/ CLIFFNOTES

Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Originally Posted by Da XpLiCiT OnE

Originally Posted by DAYTONA 5000

Originally Posted by MoMoney848

Well honestly... at least you know she's not having sex with other dudes. If she was, she would have gotten frustrated after the second time and just grabbed it and put it in herself.

Honestly... I'm in shock. I feel like I should buy you and your girl plane tickets and a 5 night stay at the Marriott. Any Marriott. If I had money like that, I would do it. That's just too big of an L to not have a W after. Only way this could get worse is if you get dumped.

You don't have ED. You didn't lose it early and you didn't ejaculate prematurely when she was topping you so what makes you think you have it? It's common to lose an erection when putting on/after putting on a condom because you concentrate on opening it, then putting it on and your mind wanders from sex.

I would not be surprised if "Team Xplicit Will Smash" pops up though. Just saying.
[color= rgb(0, 0, 255)]No the only way it could get worse is if, when he tried to put it in raw, some of his seed got inside and impregnated her. That would be suicide worthy.[/color]
She was actually scared of that, because it was in for a few seconds, but she got her period a few days later so it's all good. About putting it in herself, she tried to when she was on top, and she couldn't, multiple times.
Just cause she got her period doesnt neccesarily mean sh isnt pregnant trust me.....................by the way u should bookmark the page i posted that advice on and reread it till u see her again im tellin u its gonna work...........MATTER OF FACT HERE IT IS SO U DONT HAVE TO SEARCH:

Alright real talk im a give u some advice do EVERYTHING I say and its gonna be all good. U need to take control forget getting head......the main reason is u need to get her worked up enough she may wanna have sex but if u aint made her really horny specially if she a virgin u gonna have problems. First start off kissing u gonna have to take ur time since ur a virgin anyway u should try to make ur foreplay last as LONG AS POSSIBLE.........u wanna make her have an orgasm or two before u even decide to plunge in that way she will have loosened up because of how horny she is......a womens vagina swells as well as her clitoris the more turned on she is as well as when she has already had an orgasm she should be even more wet than normal. So start kissing her then turn that into french kissing and u gotta be in control. Use ur tongue to trace outlines of her lips suck on her tongue the whole nine. Then start kissing and licking ur way to her neck start kissing and lickin and sucking on her neck she prolly gonna feel ticklish but the trick is to find that spot on her neck where it doesnt tickle her but it feels good. U gonna know when u reach the spot cause u gonna hear her moan instead of tryna bring her neck and head together when she starts moaning u found the spot. Work on that spot then work ur way down to her breasts when u get to the breasts lick around the nipples in that colored area(areola) start circular motions around and around going inward till u reach the nipple. lightly flick it with the tip of ur tonguge fast. she shoul;d moan thats when u just engulf the nipple with ur mouth suck on it and flick it with ur tongue at the same time repeat on the other breast then lick all the way down her stomach lightly kissing and licking then when u get to that area under her belly button where her panties elatic band would start lick gentely going down stop right above the #+$# go to where her thigh an pelvic bone connect lick from the top of that crack where the thigh and pelvis meet down cross over still licking glid over the #+$# so u can reach the pelvis/thigh crack on the other leg go up then right back down that crack then glide back over to the #+$# lick TWICE AND ONLY TWICE AND STOP.
Then go to her left inner thigh kss/ suck from her inner thigh to her knee then back and across the *#%% again then to the other thigh and back after u come back to the other thigh lightly flick her *#%% with ur tongue then put pressure on it then just put the whole *#%% in ur mouth. suck on it while flicking it while ur sucking it she should go wild. Now while u doin that stick ur middle finger in her while ur sucking on her *#%% just do small in n out motions then do circular maotions to lubricate her whole inside and outside. Then stick middle finger in while doing a "come here" motion u should feel a spongey plug thingy thats her g-spot lick while flicking that with ur finger she should have an orgasm within a few seconds. Ur fingers may get tired from this so feel free to switch up fingers. Oh and make sure ur nails are cut u dont wanna kill the mood by scratching up her insides. But after all that she should be ready for the "do." Get on top rub ur the tip of ur lil friend from her *#%% down to her hole. Back up and back down to lubricate ur tip that way it just slides right in
wink.gif




EDIT: i just noticed im over 1000 posts
pimp.gif
I'm re-living grade 5 sex-ed.
laugh.gif
 
Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Originally Posted by Da XpLiCiT OnE

Originally Posted by DAYTONA 5000

Originally Posted by MoMoney848

Well honestly... at least you know she's not having sex with other dudes. If she was, she would have gotten frustrated after the second time and just grabbed it and put it in herself.

Honestly... I'm in shock. I feel like I should buy you and your girl plane tickets and a 5 night stay at the Marriott. Any Marriott. If I had money like that, I would do it. That's just too big of an L to not have a W after. Only way this could get worse is if you get dumped.

You don't have ED. You didn't lose it early and you didn't ejaculate prematurely when she was topping you so what makes you think you have it? It's common to lose an erection when putting on/after putting on a condom because you concentrate on opening it, then putting it on and your mind wanders from sex.

I would not be surprised if "Team Xplicit Will Smash" pops up though. Just saying.
[color= rgb(0, 0, 255)]No the only way it could get worse is if, when he tried to put it in raw, some of his seed got inside and impregnated her. That would be suicide worthy.[/color]
She was actually scared of that, because it was in for a few seconds, but she got her period a few days later so it's all good. About putting it in herself, she tried to when she was on top, and she couldn't, multiple times.
Just cause she got her period doesnt neccesarily mean sh isnt pregnant trust me.....................by the way u should bookmark the page i posted that advice on and reread it till u see her again im tellin u its gonna work...........MATTER OF FACT HERE IT IS SO U DONT HAVE TO SEARCH:

Alright real talk im a give u some advice do EVERYTHING I say and its gonna be all good. U need to take control forget getting head......the main reason is u need to get her worked up enough she may wanna have sex but if u aint made her really horny specially if she a virgin u gonna have problems. First start off kissing u gonna have to take ur time since ur a virgin anyway u should try to make ur foreplay last as LONG AS POSSIBLE.........u wanna make her have an orgasm or two before u even decide to plunge in that way she will have loosened up because of how horny she is......a womens vagina swells as well as her clitoris the more turned on she is as well as when she has already had an orgasm she should be even more wet than normal. So start kissing her then turn that into french kissing and u gotta be in control. Use ur tongue to trace outlines of her lips suck on her tongue the whole nine. Then start kissing and licking ur way to her neck start kissing and lickin and sucking on her neck she prolly gonna feel ticklish but the trick is to find that spot on her neck where it doesnt tickle her but it feels good. U gonna know when u reach the spot cause u gonna hear her moan instead of tryna bring her neck and head together when she starts moaning u found the spot. Work on that spot then work ur way down to her breasts when u get to the breasts lick around the nipples in that colored area(areola) start circular motions around and around going inward till u reach the nipple. lightly flick it with the tip of ur tonguge fast. she shoul;d moan thats when u just engulf the nipple with ur mouth suck on it and flick it with ur tongue at the same time repeat on the other breast then lick all the way down her stomach lightly kissing and licking then when u get to that area under her belly button where her panties elatic band would start lick gentely going down stop right above the #+$# go to where her thigh an pelvic bone connect lick from the top of that crack where the thigh and pelvis meet down cross over still licking glid over the #+$# so u can reach the pelvis/thigh crack on the other leg go up then right back down that crack then glide back over to the #+$# lick TWICE AND ONLY TWICE AND STOP.
Then go to her left inner thigh kss/ suck from her inner thigh to her knee then back and across the *#%% again then to the other thigh and back after u come back to the other thigh lightly flick her *#%% with ur tongue then put pressure on it then just put the whole *#%% in ur mouth. suck on it while flicking it while ur sucking it she should go wild. Now while u doin that stick ur middle finger in her while ur sucking on her *#%% just do small in n out motions then do circular maotions to lubricate her whole inside and outside. Then stick middle finger in while doing a "come here" motion u should feel a spongey plug thingy thats her g-spot lick while flicking that with ur finger she should have an orgasm within a few seconds. Ur fingers may get tired from this so feel free to switch up fingers. Oh and make sure ur nails are cut u dont wanna kill the mood by scratching up her insides. But after all that she should be ready for the "do." Get on top rub ur the tip of ur lil friend from her *#%% down to her hole. Back up and back down to lubricate ur tip that way it just slides right in
wink.gif




EDIT: i just noticed im over 1000 posts
pimp.gif


Holy $#@$. Did I just READ a pr0no?
eek.gif
 
I'm re-living grade 5 sex-ed.
laugh.gif



Damn Canada. Really? They had us watching movies from The Great Depression. You got THAT? (Malcolm in the Middle) Life is unfair (/MITM)
smh.gif
 
Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

Originally Posted by BritEyes12

I understand that you were both virgins and had no idea what you were doing so i'm not going to hold that against you, but the thing that i dont understand how she didn't know where to put it. Its her body.
smh.gif

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Word. Do ya'll live in Idaho or some %#$@?

Type of chick to swallow seeds and think something liable to start germinating in her stomach

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I see what you did there
 
Originally Posted by MoMoney848

Originally Posted by YoungTriz

at least you tried to get some and had it in for 10sec... unlike 70% of most NTer's


Monkeys make up 80% of the monkey population. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. And I'm with you. Most dudes on here clowning dude have only observed others engaging in intercourse on their computers or on digital video discs from adult special interest establishments.
You're talking about me aren't you
embarassed.gif
I shouldhave known better.
tired.gif
 
Originally Posted by MoMoney848

I'm re-living grade 5 sex-ed.
laugh.gif


Damn Canada. Really? They had us watching movies from The Great Depression. You got THAT? (Malcolm in the Middle) Life is unfair (/MITM)
smh.gif

okay, maybe 5% sex-ed, 95% hardcore pr0n.
glasses.gif
 
Maaaaaaaybe this was a whole set-up on her part to make you think that she's still a virgin. Maybe she just doesn't want to do it with you and pretendsto not know what she's doing and then says ow when you're in the right place to discourage you so you won't actually have done it. Maybe you'regirl's playing you fam.
 
dog.. the thing with virgins is you just have to push it in...they are mad tight of course its gonna hurt her if its been closed for 20 years.. smh... have youever watched porn?
 
Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Originally Posted by Da XpLiCiT OnE

Originally Posted by DAYTONA 5000

Originally Posted by MoMoney848

Well honestly... at least you know she's not having sex with other dudes. If she was, she would have gotten frustrated after the second time and just grabbed it and put it in herself.

Honestly... I'm in shock. I feel like I should buy you and your girl plane tickets and a 5 night stay at the Marriott. Any Marriott. If I had money like that, I would do it. That's just too big of an L to not have a W after. Only way this could get worse is if you get dumped.

You don't have ED. You didn't lose it early and you didn't ejaculate prematurely when she was topping you so what makes you think you have it? It's common to lose an erection when putting on/after putting on a condom because you concentrate on opening it, then putting it on and your mind wanders from sex.

I would not be surprised if "Team Xplicit Will Smash" pops up though. Just saying.
No the only way it could get worse is if, when he tried to put it in raw, some of his seed got inside and impregnated her. That would be suicide worthy.
She was actually scared of that, because it was in for a few seconds, but she got her period a few days later so it's all good. About putting it in herself, she tried to when she was on top, and she couldn't, multiple times.
Just cause she got her period doesnt neccesarily mean sh isnt pregnant trust me.....................by the way u should bookmark the page i posted that advice on and reread it till u see her again im tellin u its gonna work...........MATTER OF FACT HERE IT IS SO U DONT HAVE TO SEARCH:

Alright real talk im a give u some advice do EVERYTHING I say and its gonna be all good. U need to take control forget getting head......the main reason is u need to get her worked up enough she may wanna have sex but if u aint made her really horny specially if she a virgin u gonna have problems. First start off kissing u gonna have to take ur time since ur a virgin anyway u should try to make ur foreplay last as LONG AS POSSIBLE.........u wanna make her have an orgasm or two before u even decide to plunge in that way she will have loosened up because of how horny she is......a womens vagina swells as well as her clitoris the more turned on she is as well as when she has already had an orgasm she should be even more wet than normal. So start kissing her then turn that into french kissing and u gotta be in control. Use ur tongue to trace outlines of her lips suck on her tongue the whole nine. Then start kissing and licking ur way to her neck start kissing and lickin and sucking on her neck she prolly gonna feel ticklish but the trick is to find that spot on her neck where it doesnt tickle her but it feels good. U gonna know when u reach the spot cause u gonna hear her moan instead of tryna bring her neck and head together when she starts moaning u found the spot. Work on that spot then work ur way down to her breasts when u get to the breasts lick around the nipples in that colored area(areola) start circular motions around and around going inward till u reach the nipple. lightly flick it with the tip of ur tonguge fast. she shoul;d moan thats when u just engulf the nipple with ur mouth suck on it and flick it with ur tongue at the same time repeat on the other breast then lick all the way down her stomach lightly kissing and licking then when u get to that area under her belly button where her panties elatic band would start lick gentely going down stop right above the #+$# go to where her thigh an pelvic bone connect lick from the top of that crack where the thigh and pelvis meet down cross over still licking glid over the #+$# so u can reach the pelvis/thigh crack on the other leg go up then right back down that crack then glide back over to the #+$# lick TWICE AND ONLY TWICE AND STOP.
Then go to her left inner thigh kss/ suck from her inner thigh to her knee then back and across the *#%% again then to the other thigh and back after u come back to the other thigh lightly flick her *#%% with ur tongue then put pressure on it then just put the whole *#%% in ur mouth. suck on it while flicking it while ur sucking it she should go wild. Now while u doin that stick ur middle finger in her while ur sucking on her *#%% just do small in n out motions then do circular maotions to lubricate her whole inside and outside. Then stick middle finger in while doing a "come here" motion u should feel a spongey plug thingy thats her g-spot lick while flicking that with ur finger she should have an orgasm within a few seconds. Ur fingers may get tired from this so feel free to switch up fingers. Oh and make sure ur nails are cut u dont wanna kill the mood by scratching up her insides. But after all that she should be ready for the "do." Get on top rub ur the tip of ur lil friend from her *#%% down to her hole. Back up and back down to lubricate ur tip that way it just slides right in
wink.gif




EDIT: i just noticed im over 1000 posts
pimp.gif


son got to be horny
eek.gif
laugh.gif
 
Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

most action I've gotten in a minute
pimp.gif
ohwell.gif

Word?


frown.gif
tired.gif


How does 8pm tomorrow sound?


Make it 7.

Now we gon do this thing a little different tooooniiiigght...
Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

most action I've gotten in a minute
pimp.gif
ohwell.gif

Word?


frown.gif
tired.gif
u know thats just foreplay right? let me know whats really good
wink.gif


Either stop or keep going
smh.gif
laugh.gif
Originally Posted by I R Andre

Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

most action I've gotten in a minute
pimp.gif
ohwell.gif

Word?


frown.gif
tired.gif

%5B58%5D_merry-christmas-blue-style.jpg



















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I *+%%%!# hateyou fam
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damn taking me back to my first time.... woww for real tho


gotta go slow for virgins...
n real !@@$ i didn't know where to put it either... i learned quick tho
 
son how you put a condom on backwards is that even possible?

what you do roll it out then put it on
roll.gif
 
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