My most embarrassing and frustrating sexual experience W/ CLIFFNOTES

[sorkoram]

Originally Posted by vietsta4o8

damn 6 pages and noone asked for pics of the gf?






PICS?

even if we got pics, we wouldn't think nothing sexual of em like we USUALLY do


we got the car-fax report on her

 

[nawghtyhare]

Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Originally Posted by Da XpLiCiT OnE

Originally Posted by dyyhard

it hurt when i partly put it in

i hope more so that it was her and not you. you partner down there hurtin? if it painful for you, maybe you don't deserve the sense of pleasure.

No it hurt her... she said "ow". And no, I haven't gone down before, she's never let me. I saw it for the first time that night. She's just way too tight... Still untouched (for the most part) and being Asian. You do have to be prepared mentally, and I'm prepared for the next time we see each other

Most likely end of December though

Alright real talk im a give u some advice do EVERYTHING I say and its gonna be all good. U need to take control forget getting head......the main reason is u need to get her worked up enough she may wanna have sex but if u aint made her really horny specially if she a virgin u gonna have problems. First start off kissing u gonna have to take ur time since ur a virgin anyway u should try to make ur foreplay last as LONG AS POSSIBLE.........u wanna make her have an orgasm or two before u even decide to plunge in that way she will have loosened up because of how horny she is......a womens vagina swells as well as her clitoris the more turned on she is as well as when she has already had an orgasm she should be even more wet than normal. So start kissing her then turn that into french kissing and u gotta be in control. Use ur tongue to trace outlines of her lips suck on her tongue the whole nine. Then start kissing and licking ur way to her neck start kissing and lickin and sucking on her neck she prolly gonna feel ticklish but the trick is to find that spot on her neck where it doesnt tickle her but it feels good. U gonna know when u reach the spot cause u gonna hear her moan instead of tryna bring her neck and head together when she starts moaning u found the spot. Work on that spot then work ur way down to her breasts when u get to the breasts lick around the nipples in that colored area(areola) start circular motions around and around going inward till u reach the nipple. lightly flick it with the tip of ur tonguge fast. she shoul;d moan thats when u just engulf the nipple with ur mouth suck on it and flick it with ur tongue at the same time repeat on the other breast then lick all the way down her stomach lightly kissing and licking then when u get to that area under her belly button where her panties elatic band would start lick gentely going down stop right above the #+$# go to where her thigh an pelvic bone connect lick from the top of that crack where the thigh and pelvis meet down cross over still licking glid over the #+$# so u can reach the pelvis/thigh crack on the other leg go up then right back down that crack then glide back over to the #+$# lick TWICE AND ONLY TWICE AND STOP.



Then go to her left inner thigh kss/ suck from her inner thigh to her knee then back and across the *#%% again then to the other thigh and back after u comeback to the other thigh lightly flick her *#%% with ur tongue then put pressure on it then just put the whole *#%% in ur mouth. suck on it while flicking itwhile ur sucking it she should go wild. Now while u doin that stick ur middle finger in her while ur sucking on her *#%% just do small in n out motions then docircular maotions to lubricate her whole inside and outside. Then stick middle finger in while doing a "come here" motion u should feel a spongeyplug thingy thats her g-spot lick while flicking that with ur finger she should have an orgasm within a few seconds. Ur fingers may get tired from this so feelfree to switch up fingers. Oh and make sure ur nails are cut u dont wanna kill the mood by scratching up her insides. But after all that she should be readyfor the "do." Get on top rub ur the tip of ur lil friend from her *#%% down to her hole. Back up and back down to lubricate ur tip that way it justslides right in

 

[enlightened thought]

it's ok. better luck next time. maybe next time, you should do it in a fully lit room so you can see which hole you put it in.

 

[mrsneakerman]

Originally Posted by GRUP

Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by SUCKAFREE85

you need practice

Here you go

 

[harlem]

Originally Posted by nnarum

 

[sorkoram]

Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Then go to her left inner thigh kss/ suck from her inner thigh to her knee then back and across the *#%% again then to the other thigh and back after u come back to the other thigh lightly flick her *#%% with ur tongue then put pressure on it then just put the whole *#%% in ur mouth. suck on it while flicking it while ur sucking it she should go wild. Now while u doin that stick ur middle finger in her while ur sucking on her *#%% just do small in n out motions then do circular maotions to lubricate her whole inside and outside. Then stick middle finger in while doing a "come here" motion u should feel a spongey plug thingy thats her g-spot lick while flicking that with ur finger she should have an orgasm within a few seconds. Ur fingers may get tired from this so feel free to switch up fingers. Oh and make sure ur nails are cut u dont wanna kill the mood by scratching up her insides. But after all that she should be ready for the "do." Get on top rub ur the tip of ur lil friend from her *#%% down to her hole. Back up and back down to lubricate ur tip that way it just slides right in

come on man

 

[apollo xxxiii]

Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Keep thinking you'll be the first and last

Y'all both very naive, tho. I mean...22 and you ain't even know where the %@%%# hole is located?

My son will need a GPS device to find the clitoris

Why is 'ol girl so adamant to have sex now after all this time? I'm sorry but after 2 years and not even seein' the box I'd assume something was very wrong.

 

[face82]

I can't knock dude. It's people out there that doesn't make sex a priority in their lives. You'll be amazed. Kudos my man...can't wait tillyou guys finally get to it.

 

[briteyes12]

I understand that you were both virgins and had no idea what you were doing so i'm not going to hold that against you, but the thing that i dont understandhow she didn't know where to put it. Its her body.

 

[carlosdapaperboy]

the only problem here is the gf. She needs to educate herself on her (()) and loosen it up with some Peter North sized apparatus (nh) until it hangs loose likesleave of wizard word to Borat.

 

[da future nike rep]

nawghtyhare,
I honestly read your post like it was a book straight out of the store lol, you crazy!
Great post though, take his advice because it works for real.

Yo, actually the longer that you can stay a virgin the better. So what if he is 21 or 22 years of age it doesnt matter.
Peoples little cousins are already doing the beat it up dance and they are younger than that??
WOW......
I know that i was doing all of that crazy $%* when i was younger as well minus the "beat it up" dance as some of you would call it however im justhappy that i was protected and none of the girls ever got pregnant. At times i wish that i knew back then what i know right now.

 

[ogbobbyjohnson773]

Originally Posted by vietsta4o8

damn 6 pages and noone asked for pics of the gf?






PICS?

I found her myspace, heres her pic:

 

[blackmagnus514]

@ Seau pic

 

[snake201]

we realyl do need pics 7 page and nothing yet. come on NT

 

[mangudai954]

Originally Posted by Face82

This isn't that bad bro. It's interesting to read about 2 people about 2 lose their virginity. The day will come bro. Put your fingers in it sometimes, losin it up.

x2

 

[drjordanfreak88]

Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by vietsta4o8

damn 6 pages and noone asked for pics of the gf?






PICS?

I found her myspace, heres her pic:

i chuckled. but op heed naughtyhare's advice, dude knows what he's talkin about

 

[seniosoul]

Originally Posted by Da XpLiCiT OnE


For some background info:
- As some of y'all know, I'm 22 and my girl is 21. We've been in long distance relationship for all of our 2+ years. We're both virgins (and some of y'all think she isn't). For the past year+, I've been asking her every 3 months that I see her to make love, and I've gotten declined everytime. Last March, she told me she misses the days where I didn't ask, so since MARCH, I've only talked about it once, where I did get declined back in May. Sometime then, she said, "we will this year".

*scroll down for cliffnotes
**I wrote part of this in Mid August while my girl was in the shower a day after the event, and I didn't finish it, until now.

So my girl flew to my state last week [mid August again], and yesterday we drove 4 hours to another state to a theme park and stayed at a hotel overnight. After our theme park in the middle of the day, we checked in our hotel. It was the nicest hotel I've stayed at, room-wise, like a suite. After touring our room, she went to take a shower, and I was immediately saddened at the fact she won't allow us to take a shower together, and we don't even do "it" yet and we have this amazing room. She saw I was sad and asked me why I looked sad, while I lie curled on this sofa, right before she went to take her shower, and I told her because I want to take a shower with her (or that we didn't do it yet I can't remember which one), and she told me it's ok and went to take her shower. After hers, I took mine. I then went to lie down to relax before we went downtown to check the nightlife, and she lied next to me after getting ready, and went down on me. After she was done (no i've never "finished" she won't do it that much), I kept saying "give it to me", and then she whispered "you give it to me". Then she said something like "go to the store and buy some". I was thinking in my head, "is she telling me to get some condoms?" Then I remembered she told me to bring the ipod stereo and I put 2&2 together in that she was finally ready, but I didn't want to get excited because I've been turned down too many times.

After the night went on, we ate dinner, went out to some places downtown, and then on the way home, I said let's stop by the store. She said "for what huh" followed by a smile. I was like "you know what", and she said "I don't want to buy it with you - i'll stay in the car". Then I was pretty sure she was ready at that point. First stop, grocery store.

She came in with me at first since I made her. I was nervous, excited, shocked… overwhelmed to say the least, and I still wasn't 100%. We tried to find the condoms, only to see it was locked. She then found the lube section, and picked out some. She then left the store b herself to go wait in the car, and we decided to get the condoms from a gas station. After buying the lube, stopped at a gas station, picked up the condoms, and went on our way to the hotel.

Once we got to our suite-like hotelroom, all the emotions I felt prior to walking in the grocery went off the charts. She got lotion and went to the restroom to lotion up I guess, and told me to "get ready" or something like that, and to clean the room as it was when we first got it. I cleaned, got out the lube and condoms, and then she came out of the bathroom with a tank top and some short shorts thing.

We turned off most of the lights except one by this desk so it was decently dark, then the playing began. After I took off her clothes, except for her panty, then she took off mine. She went down on me, and then while she did, I was opening the condom.

After I put it on, she kept telling me to put more lube on it, and so then she FINALLY took of her panty when I went on top. She said "you don't know how (or where) to do it".. and after trying for a little bit, she was right… I didn't know where it goes. About a minute passed when I tried, and of course, I wasn't erect any longer.

I had 6 condoms, so now I have 5. The 2[sup]nd[/sup] one, I tried right after she went down, and then I put it on backwards, so she said put a new one. Condom 3 was on, and it was repeat of the last scenario. After the 3[sup]rd[/sup], she took a mirror and went to the bathroom to check exactly where it goes. She thought there are two holes, one to pee and one to make love, so she thought once or twice I was going to put it in the pee hole. Well I was sure you can't even see that hole but oh well. So, she came back out after half the condoms were used up, and we tried again, but this time with her on top.

Attempt 4 and 5 were repeats - I couldn't keep it up for any longer than a minute each time. I guess I was just overwhelmed, and I wasn't feelin it. She said to save the last one and that we could try in a couple hours. I told her since we're just wasting condoms, lets try without one first then I could put one on after we know what we're dong. So we tried, and there was one point where put it in partly, but she said ow and I don't think anything happened.

We slept, woke up in like 3 hours, and then at 4am, we tried again. I put it partly in, and then she said it hurt, and same thing happened yet again. Woke up an hour or so before checkout, and she told me to buy more condoms. We tried once, and same thing again. After a wasted condom, we tried again without one, and this time I put it was in for a little bit, and nothing happened. Since it was our only night until we both flew back to her home state with her roommates for a week (as well as her getting her period)… it was the last time we really tried.

I took the most Ls that night, but I wasn't as mad at myself as I thought, because I was happy she was finally ready, but I was really overwhelmed she was actually ready. We'll try again the next time we see eachother and I'll be ready since I'm not overwhelmed any longer.

CLIFFNOTES:

- Went on Vacation in August with my girl in a nice hotel

- She gave me clues that she was ready, to go buy "some" and for me to "give it to her"

- Went out for a fun night and bought some condoms and lube

- Used up all 6 condoms

- Couldn't find where to put it most of the time, it hurt when i partly put it in, and I couldn't keep it up longer than a minute to fully make love

- So it really didn't happen

- It was our only time we could have tried, because she got her period after and then i had to go back home for school.

I'm sorry for you loss, but i'll give you some advice...that should help...throw a porn on when you bout to get it on.

I'm sorry for you loss, there may be no next time
I'm sorry for you loss, what were you thinking in your brain.
I'm sorry for you loss, you warmed up the slots
I'm sorry for you loss, somebody else gonna pop that cherry now
I'm sorry for you loss, why are you not on top of you game trying to learn everything b4 hand.
.......I'm sorry for you loss

 

[dacomeup]

Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Da XpLiCiT OnE wrote:

---

dyyhard wrote:

---

it hurt when i partly put it in

i hope more so that it was her and not you. you partner down there hurtin? if it painful for you, maybe you don't deserve the sense of
pleasure.

No it hurt her... she said "ow". And no, I haven't gone down before, she's never let me. I saw it for the first time that
night. She's just way too tight... Still untouched (for the most part) and being Asian. You do have to be prepared mentally, and I'm prepared for the
next time we see each other

Most likely end of December though

Alright real talk im a give u some advice do EVERYTHING I say and its gonna be all good. U need to take control forget getting head......the main
reason is u need to get her worked up enough she may wanna have sex but if u aint made her really horny specially if she a virgin u gonna have problems. First
start off kissing u gonna have to take ur time since ur a virgin anyway u should try to make ur foreplay last as LONG AS POSSIBLE.........u wanna make her have
an orgasm or two before u even decide to plunge in that way she will have loosened up because of how horny she is......a womens vagina swells as well as her
clitoris the more turned on she is as well as when she has already had an orgasm she should be even more wet than normal. So start kissing her then turn that
into french kissing and u gotta be in control. Use ur tongue to trace outlines of her lips suck on her tongue the whole nine. Then start kissing and licking ur
way to her neck start kissing and lickin and sucking on her neck she prolly gonna feel ticklish but the trick is to find that spot on her neck where it doesnt
tickle her but it feels good. U gonna know when u reach the spot cause u gonna hear her moan instead of tryna bring her neck and head together when she starts
moaning u found the spot. Work on that spot then work ur way down to her breasts when u get to the breasts lick around the nipples in that colored area(areola)
start circular motions around and around going inward till u reach the nipple. lightly flick it with the tip of ur tonguge fast. she shoul;d moan thats when u
just engulf the nipple with ur mouth suck on it and flick it with ur tongue at the same time repeat on the other breast then lick all the way down her stomach
lightly kissing and licking then when u get to that area under her belly button where her panties elatic band would start lick gentely going down stop right
above the #+$# go to where her thigh an pelvic bone connect lick from the top of that crack where the thigh and pelvis meet down cross over still licking glid
over the #+$# so u can reach the pelvis/thigh crack on the other leg go up then right back down that crack then glide back over to the #+$# lick TWICE AND ONLY
TWICE AND STOP.





Then go to her left inner thigh kss/ suck from her inner thigh to her knee then back and across the !*%@ again then to the other thigh and back after u come back to the other thigh lightly flick her !*%@ with ur tongue then put pressure on it then just put the whole !*%@ in ur mouth. suck on it while flicking it while ur sucking it she should go wild. Now while u doin that stick ur middle finger in her while ur sucking on her !*%@ just do small in n out motions then do circular maotions to lubricate her whole inside and outside. Then stick middle finger in while doing a "come here" motion u should feel a spongey plug thingy thats her g-spot lick while flicking that with ur finger she should have an orgasm within a few seconds. Ur fingers may get tired from this so feel free to switch up fingers. Oh and make sure ur nails are cut u dont wanna kill the mood by scratching up her insides. But after all that she should be ready for the "do." Get on top rub ur the tip of ur lil friend from her !*%@ down to her hole. Back up and back down to lubricate ur tip that way it just slides right in

Son is OD right now

 

[thatruth]

Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by vietsta4o8

damn 6 pages and noone asked for pics of the gf?






PICS?

I found her myspace, heres her pic:

but OP....really? Its almost unbelievable, but then again....who would lie about something like that?

Go watch some porn so you know what you doing. Keep the lights on so you can have an easier time finding where to put it.

and practice putting on a condom so when the mood is right you wont dead it by going back to the store for condoms.

 

[snkrfrk]

"Do i know what im doing?!??"

 

[da xplicit one]

@ never watching porn comments. I've been watching porn forprobably a decade. It's probably why because I don't know how it feels and only from videos

and what my mind thinks it feels like.

 

[early90s]

Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

Originally Posted by Da XpLiCiT OnE

Originally Posted by dyyhard

it hurt when i partly put it in

i hope more so that it was her and not you. you partner down there hurtin? if it painful for you, maybe you don't deserve the sense of pleasure.

No it hurt her... she said "ow". And no, I haven't gone down before, she's never let me. I saw it for the first time that night. She's just way too tight... Still untouched (for the most part) and being Asian. You do have to be prepared mentally, and I'm prepared for the next time we see each other

Most likely end of December though

Alright real talk im a give u some advice do EVERYTHING I say and its gonna be all good. U need to take control forget getting head......the main reason is u need to get her worked up enough she may wanna have sex but if u aint made her really horny specially if she a virgin u gonna have problems. First start off kissing u gonna have to take ur time since ur a virgin anyway u should try to make ur foreplay last as LONG AS POSSIBLE.........u wanna make her have an orgasm or two before u even decide to plunge in that way she will have loosened up because of how horny she is......a womens vagina swells as well as her clitoris the more turned on she is as well as when she has already had an orgasm she should be even more wet than normal. So start kissing her then turn that into french kissing and u gotta be in control. Use ur tongue to trace outlines of her lips suck on her tongue the whole nine. Then start kissing and licking ur way to her neck start kissing and lickin and sucking on her neck she prolly gonna feel ticklish but the trick is to find that spot on her neck where it doesnt tickle her but it feels good. U gonna know when u reach the spot cause u gonna hear her moan instead of tryna bring her neck and head together when she starts moaning u found the spot. Work on that spot then work ur way down to her breasts when u get to the breasts lick around the nipples in that colored area(areola) start circular motions around and around going inward till u reach the nipple. lightly flick it with the tip of ur tonguge fast. she shoul;d moan thats when u just engulf the nipple with ur mouth suck on it and flick it with ur tongue at the same time repeat on the other breast then lick all the way down her stomach lightly kissing and licking then when u get to that area under her belly button where her panties elatic band would start lick gentely going down stop right above the #+$# go to where her thigh an pelvic bone connect lick from the top of that crack where the thigh and pelvis meet down cross over still licking glid over the #+$# so u can reach the pelvis/thigh crack on the other leg go up then right back down that crack then glide back over to the #+$# lick TWICE AND ONLY TWICE AND STOP.

Then go to her left inner thigh kss/ suck from her inner thigh to her knee then back and across the *#%% again then to the other thigh and back after u come back to the other thigh lightly flick her *#%% with ur tongue then put pressure on it then just put the whole *#%% in ur mouth. suck on it while flicking it while ur sucking it she should go wild. Now while u doin that stick ur middle finger in her while ur sucking on her *#%% just do small in n out motions then do circular maotions to lubricate her whole inside and outside. Then stick middle finger in while doing a "come here" motion u should feel a spongey plug thingy thats her g-spot lick while flicking that with ur finger she should have an orgasm within a few seconds. Ur fingers may get tired from this so feel free to switch up fingers. Oh and make sure ur nails are cut u dont wanna kill the mood by scratching up her insides. But after all that she should be ready for the "do." Get on top rub ur the tip of ur lil friend from her *#%% down to her hole. Back up and back down to lubricate ur tip that way it just slides right in

This Ol Fabio romance novella !$$...

 

[weekend girl]

Originally Posted by BritEyes12

I understand that you were both virgins and had no idea what you were doing so i'm not going to hold that against you, but the thing that i dont understand how she didn't know where to put it. Its her body.

Word. Do ya'll live in Idaho or some %#$@?

Type of chick to swallow seeds and think something liable to start germinating in her stomach

On some real %#$@, tho, try watchin some adult movies together. It serves a dual purpose if you're using it to stay aroused and she's beingattentive trying to pick up a few things. If nothing else it's for educational reasons.

On a sidenote OGbobbyjohnson773 is one of the funniest posters on NT

 

[blackmagnus514]

Smh

 

[r31j23]

scream im taking your V card right NOWbitch. and proceed to pounce go raw and just remeber to pull out.