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- May 20, 2013
My mom has been telling me for months that my dad helped to talk my brother out of playing AAU basketball by playing on the fact that my brother hates spending/having my parents spend money, so that my dad would have more free time on the weekends instead of driving him to and from games. Money isn't even an issue in my household either so I don't know why he's so concerned about it.
My brother's decision not to play AAU was sort of a big one considering that AAU would be his chance to get significant playing time and his confidence back up. Last year as a sophomore he made his school's varsity team and although he didn't play a minute he practiced and suited up with the team and was a starter on JV. He took it and the fact that apparently the head coach for varsity "didn't like his game" (meaning his style of play, not skill) pretty hard. The varsity coach has been known to really be a stickler and I know of several players who quit the team.
This year he probably would have at least seen some action on varsity. Come senior year he had a chance to be a starter or at least a key bench player. The question had always been if my brother was going to quit or not this upcoming season and it seemed like he was leaning towards just playing rec league with his friends. Now apparently he's even giving that up and settling on just coaching rec league this winter season with his friends, and his friends are even planning on playing in the same season. He's now big on lifting and he says giving basketball up will give him more time to do that and to study for school. I'm kind of against him being so focused on it because he lifts so often that it hurt his jump shot (something he always was good at) in summer rec league, because he wanted to get a lift in before his game.
My brother has always done well in school and is currently taking a few AP classes. He's not failing classes or anything but his grades have slipped a little bit. My mom tells me that he isn't going in for help before and afterschool which are things she made me do when I was struggling. I went to a tutor for a class when I was in high school and he puts up a fight about going to a tutor since it's wasting money.
She also tells me that he's not taking advantage of easy credit opportunities and doesn't study as much as he should be studying, despite him saying quitting basketball would give him more time to.
Apparently on Friday he had my mom pick him up from school since he was "feeling sick" and claimed he already had taken his test. She then let him hang out with friends and go the football game that night. Later, my mom got an email from his teacher about retake days since he didn't take the test and she was furious. When he finally came home after constantly pushing his curfew back my mom exploded on him and my brother called himself stupid and told her that she pressured him into taking so many difficult classes. I know he still has a year and a half till he's college bound, but his lazy attitude toward school will definitely come back to bite him in the long run.
It really disappoints me because he has several opportunities that I never had and he's just giving up on them. He was the one who got me into basketball and had always been a better math student than I was. I got into the sport too late and was the last cut when I tried out in high school and for math I never took an AP Calculus course like he currently is. I had to work hard in both of those areas so it bugs me that he's not putting in the effort when he already has natural ability. I don't want to sound too hard on him since he's a good kid, but he's just extremely lazy is all. I know it's nothing too serious but it's sad to see that he's lost confidence in things he excels in.
Since I'm in college right now I don't get the opportunity to talk with him one on one as much. My mom always tells me when I'm home to help him study and to tell him the importance of trying hard. She also wants me to try and find out what's up with him and why he's being this way. What do I say to him that he hasn't already heard from my parents before? How do I even casually approach the topic? Have you guys ever felt the same way about any of your siblings? Just wanted to hear some thoughts and advice on the situation.
My brother's decision not to play AAU was sort of a big one considering that AAU would be his chance to get significant playing time and his confidence back up. Last year as a sophomore he made his school's varsity team and although he didn't play a minute he practiced and suited up with the team and was a starter on JV. He took it and the fact that apparently the head coach for varsity "didn't like his game" (meaning his style of play, not skill) pretty hard. The varsity coach has been known to really be a stickler and I know of several players who quit the team.
This year he probably would have at least seen some action on varsity. Come senior year he had a chance to be a starter or at least a key bench player. The question had always been if my brother was going to quit or not this upcoming season and it seemed like he was leaning towards just playing rec league with his friends. Now apparently he's even giving that up and settling on just coaching rec league this winter season with his friends, and his friends are even planning on playing in the same season. He's now big on lifting and he says giving basketball up will give him more time to do that and to study for school. I'm kind of against him being so focused on it because he lifts so often that it hurt his jump shot (something he always was good at) in summer rec league, because he wanted to get a lift in before his game.
My brother has always done well in school and is currently taking a few AP classes. He's not failing classes or anything but his grades have slipped a little bit. My mom tells me that he isn't going in for help before and afterschool which are things she made me do when I was struggling. I went to a tutor for a class when I was in high school and he puts up a fight about going to a tutor since it's wasting money.
Apparently on Friday he had my mom pick him up from school since he was "feeling sick" and claimed he already had taken his test. She then let him hang out with friends and go the football game that night. Later, my mom got an email from his teacher about retake days since he didn't take the test and she was furious. When he finally came home after constantly pushing his curfew back my mom exploded on him and my brother called himself stupid and told her that she pressured him into taking so many difficult classes. I know he still has a year and a half till he's college bound, but his lazy attitude toward school will definitely come back to bite him in the long run.
It really disappoints me because he has several opportunities that I never had and he's just giving up on them. He was the one who got me into basketball and had always been a better math student than I was. I got into the sport too late and was the last cut when I tried out in high school and for math I never took an AP Calculus course like he currently is. I had to work hard in both of those areas so it bugs me that he's not putting in the effort when he already has natural ability. I don't want to sound too hard on him since he's a good kid, but he's just extremely lazy is all. I know it's nothing too serious but it's sad to see that he's lost confidence in things he excels in.
Since I'm in college right now I don't get the opportunity to talk with him one on one as much. My mom always tells me when I'm home to help him study and to tell him the importance of trying hard. She also wants me to try and find out what's up with him and why he's being this way. What do I say to him that he hasn't already heard from my parents before? How do I even casually approach the topic? Have you guys ever felt the same way about any of your siblings? Just wanted to hear some thoughts and advice on the situation.
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