- Apr 27, 2002
- 5,487
- 5,767
Yes experience did inform me but not in a way people may assume. It didn’t give me wisdom, it only gave me data (which I used to say women - ‘I’m just collecting data’). I still had to sit down later and actually process it.
I don’t wish them away but I do recognized that I stayed in that trial and error phase longer than I needed. Thats mostly because I didn’t truly know who I was and what I needed.
A lot of people don’t come in with self awareness. The mistake is thinking that self awareness comes from more bodies and more situations. For me it came from reflections, accountability and therapy.
Knowing yourself matters more than just moving through people.
leaving as an aside that most men are/can not be moving through a bunch of women even if they wanted, isn't the case that the 'data collection' to whatever extent they are able, usually informs that awareness for most men?
most of people don't get out in the world fully formed, even if man are secure & (relatively) well adjusted...trial & error is un/fortunately (depending the perspective) how most folk are going to 'move through' (again this is relative as most people don't have that much of opportunities or even are want to intentionally move in this manner, tho this isn't to be dismissive of the act for numbers) folks/relationships in these times of 'free market' dating/mating; more likely than not we are all going to/have fumbled a 'good' one, at least in our hindsight of being able to reflect
as noted i think most would agree that we all are works in progress, it isn't entirely obvious that current you will know what future you will be/need/want...but current & future you will be able to look at past you with some degree of certainty & hindsight such that things seem more obvious than they actually were

