Part 2
Trap Girl
Met on: Tinder
Race: Peruvian
Very flaky female, claimed to be a truck driver, we would set up a date for lets say a Friday at 8, I would call her at 7 to see if she's getting ready, she would answer and say she's in Atlanta dropping off a load (We live in Florida) I would be like okkkkk....I guess you aren't making it back in a hour. She was very suspect, but I brushed it off because she was bad as hell. So we finally meet up, new years eve I'm thinking this is perfect grounds for smashing. We go to this little low key club, and I buy a bottle of Moet, we start drinking, new years hit, we kiss, so I'm like yesssss I'm in! I take a look at her arm and she has a tattoo of this guy, I'm like who's that? Your brother?, pops? Friend or fam that died? She said that's her husband, he was a part of a gang and murdered 2 year ago. She said she has never been the same since, I was like wow...I'm sorry...So anyway we get past that and we keep enjoying the night, I get another bottle of Moet and we are downing it...At this point we are pretty wasted..I go to the bathroom and I come back and I see the bartender coming with another bottle of Moet to our table, I'm like ummmmmm ok? She tells me she ordered another bottle (these bottles were 85 a pop) so I'm like wow, this chick ordered a bottle? Is she paying for it? But anyway I'm like whatever, start drinking it and we get only through half (we are already drunk) she gives the bottle to some random people across from us, I'm looking like this chick like really must be paying for this bottle...So the tab comes, and she's just looking at me, not going in her purse, nothing..I'm like aiight f it, I'll pay the 200+ bill...The guy across the table asks me what's my girls name? I tell him her name, she pulls me to the side and say "Don't tell anyone my real name" I'm like ok..(But yet she has her real name on Tinder and Facebook)..Anyway, I go to the bathroom again and when I come back I see her and this guy talking mad close, basically she is whispering in his ear and had her arm around him..We bounce and I ask her if she knew that guy, she said no but she just "sold him some fire"....I was like.......what? She said nothing. I'm thinking are you f***ing kidding me?! We get to the car, I drop her *** off and never talked to her again, I have to much to lose to be messing with some female who is trapping
Homeless Stripper
Met on: POF
Race: African American
From her pics on POF I knew she was a thot, classic long weave, fake eye lashes, and outfits looking like she bought them straight from DOTS. So I tell her to come over, she is down, but she doesn't have a whip, she says she is staying at this lady's house and to come get her, so I do. As we are driving she tells me her story; basically she says she was a stripper and her ex boyfriend kicked her out a week ago, she say's she lives with this lady who answered her craigslist ad..I said "craigslist ad"?! She tells me she made an ad looking for someone to live with while she gets on her feet..She said the lady answered but she can't stay there much longer because the old lady wants her home before a certain time, and she can't go out and strip at nights. So she said some Haitian guy recently answered her ad and said she can live with him in his studio apt..While listening to this story I'm thinking to myself I'm taking this broad to my house? HELL NO! She's going to set me up and rob me or something...At this point I'm ready to get this chick out of my car, I buss a U turn and say heyyyy let's go to pollo tropical, I'm hungry! (I just ate, I wasn't hungry at all) anyway, we drink a smoothie from there and go to the whip, I tell her my back is hurting, I'm sore from the gym so I should go home and rest up..She say's "awwww poor baby, want me to kiss you and make you feel better" (I'm like I am NOT kissing this broad on the mouth) So quickly thinking I just say f**** it and say yea, but my boo boo is right here (I point to da crotch) she says awww unzips and BOOM! I get serviced in the pollo tropical parking lot (I have tints on the whip) So when she is done her phone rings and she answers, it is the Haitian guy and I hear him say "we are going to pick you up at 11" she says ok and hangs up and I'm like...You really feel comfortable sleeping in some man you don't even know's apartment? It's a studio for crying out loud, there is only ONE BED! She said she doesn't have any other choice..I'm like wow...Good luck...I drop her off (checking my rearview mirrors, scared to death someone is going to rob me) I feel bad for shorty, I give her 5 dollars I had in my pocket and sped off...I think to myself..I basically just gave a prostitute a smoothie and 5 dollars for dome. She tried hitting me up since then, of course I didn't answer.
Pregnant chick
Met on: Tinder
Race: White/black
We went to Cheesecake factory for our first date, had a great time, pretty girl, I was feeling her...The date ended, I didn't smash, I wanted to be a gentleman and figured I'll get her on the second date..So anyway a couple days pass and we talk on the phone, and she says she has something to tell me, and I say oh boy...Herpes number 2, here we go..She says a couple days ago she notices she was lactating, and she went to the doctor and found out shes 2 months PREGNANT! I didn't even get mad, I don't know if she was lying or not about not knowing, but I just fall back and wished her the best
Bodybuilding chick
Met on: Match
Race: Italian/Russian
Wow! This girl was a stallion, body built perfect..She competes in bodybuilding professionally and we went on the cheapest date ever, she doesn't drink and she doesn't eat anything other than food she has stuffed in red Tupperware..Shoot we went to the beach and I didn't pay a dime for anything. So we talk and talk and talk and talk, I'm into working out as well so we had a lot of common interests. It was getting late so we decided to leave, and when I pulled up to her house, she jumped on me! We are making out and she invites me in, we proceed to get the smashing and I didn't enjoy it..This chick was rock solid and it didn't feel right..It was my first "fitness girl" I have ever smashed. I'm use to a nice jiggle with doggystyle, but this chick was obviously serious about her squats so it felt like I was ramming my pelvis into a brick wall. It was more of a thud sound instead of the beautiful sound of cheeks clapping..No good..We still talk and I get fitness tips from her, but that's about it..These super fit girls are nice to look at, but when it comes to smashing? Nah
Girl with Herpes #2
Met on: Tinder
Race: Dominican
Well I'll keep this one short, we went on a date, nice girl..And after getting some food she comes over to my place to "watch a movie" so we start drinking some wine and I make a move, she accepts the move and once we start getting hot and heavy she say's "Wait, wait, wait" I'm like what's wrong? She says she has something to tell me and I say to myself ARE YOU ******* SERIOUS!!!!!!!! I Say what? And she tells me she has Herpes, she got it from her ex.. I'm already accustomed to this, I am the herpes expert from my research from my first experience, and I nonchalantly say "Type 1 or type 2?" She say's type 2 (genital) and I think well her mouth doesn't have herpes so I do one of these
and I got some dome from her. I didn't smash because I'm not going to go through the same mental anguish of the first time..Talk to her once in a while, but I told her I got back with my ex
Not sure if female or ******
Met on: POF
Race: African American
Man...This girl's pictures looked nice, but when we met up for a date in person...She just seemed...ummm..strong in the face. She had breasts, but I dunno if they were real or not..Basically I kept this face on the whole date
Something just seemed off about her, she seemed so masculine...I couldn't tell if she had an adam's apple or not..The date ended and I gave her a handshake. Goodnight. Never talked to him/her again..I'm almost 85% sure I went on a date with a ******
Date from hell
Met on: Match
Race: Spanish (forgot what type)
Well we went to Red Lobster and when we first sat down we had pretty good conversation...That was until our waiter came up and introduced himself..Dude was a 6'5 Jamaican Mandingo zulu warrior with a strong deep accent (I'm a 5'7 little regular black guy)..Shorty literally stopped in mid sentence talking to me and had her mouth opened, sized him up and down with her eyes (no homo, but I did too) he took our order and she just kept talking about him when he left; she was like "Wow he is super fit", "wow he is super tall", "wow his accent is so nice", "he should be a model, he has such a nice smile" and even though I agreed with everything she said in my mind, I was like ummm ok, so lets talk more about you..She would start talking to me, and I would see her eyes wonder, I look to where she is looking and sure enough, she is eye ******* him..Straight thirst for this dude..And he knows what he was doing too..He would come over and say "Yuh wan some more wata?", "Yuh wan mi bring you some more bread" and she would visibly melt with every word he said and he would look at her and just smile knowing damn well the moisture he was causing her..I would be like nah man we good..And she would straight up FLIRT with dude in front of me she said to him 'omg you have such a beautiful accent, which part of Jamaica are you from? I need to go there!" I was like enough..I finished my food, I was like you ready? I paid the bill and she was like "this guy should get the tip placed on him" and I said "well you know where he works so I'm sure you will be back just to do that" she asked what is that supposed to mean, I said nothing, we drove seperate (thank goodness) so we just left and never talked again..Horrible date
Welp..That's it...For now..But I'm sure I will have part 3 soon.. I have a date on Saturday and some others lined up..Who knows, there might be a herpes part 3...Maybe a lil gonorrhea...Let's see. Till then be safe out there brahs!