Great break up letter (along lines of that girl who got ownd on craigs list)

[the minister]

Buttons McBoomBoom wrote:

Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under 'L' for
'Long-winded diatribes from drunken #@+$*% I couldn't care less about'.
You did a stupid thing huh?
No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid
thing'; Mixing in a red Sock with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing';
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn't as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if

it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think
that by saying 'Well, I didn't F him' somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think
you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the
mill c-m-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,

Tom

 

[concordefliteschool]

at all these gifs that ive never seen before

 

[jplikejayz]

 

[potus2028]

*JR* OMG, she got COMPLETELY DESTROYED!!! */JR*

That's my typa dude right there

(no dandy)

 

[sneakrkid]

WHOA.

 

[casperjr]

Originally Posted by rickybadman

Originally Posted by Ghost703

ETHER!

I did this at least fives ten time while reading this.

son went innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

@ the 45min blowin

 

[dylans33]

her life is over. she better move far away

 

[dn590]

Originally Posted by H4ppyTime Harry

sounds fake. generic names, blowing a guy for 45 minutes

, etc

reading is fundamental the names were changed

 

[trapmuzik617]

.... dude wit IN!... but she deserves that and so much more

 

[npa07]

dude went in lol

 

[thunderchunk69]

Originally Posted by AC4Three

Meh...

The craigslist one was way better.

 

[fittednoob]

Very well executed. I would love to give this guy a high five.

 

[superflyinchopstickninja]

im laughin at these gifs way more than the actual letters

 

[510ballin]

Originally Posted by fittednoob

Very well executed. I would love to give this guy a high five.

man, if i knew who this guy was i'd buy him lunch. you know for a fact broads jaw was on the floor after reading that.

 

[heatpinoyboy]

 

[boholkicks]

slickness...

 

[mf doomer]

That was excellent.

 

[snake201]

That was a really good read. They should release names and university and pics of the girl.

 

[supafly122]

Originally Posted by Buttons McBoomBoom

No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid

thing'; Mixing in a red Sock with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing';
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn't as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if

it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think
that by saying 'Well, I didn't F him' somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think
you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the
mill c-m-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector.

Tom

{{DJ Kay Slay}} OH MAN DAMN{{Dj Kay Slay}}

, another reason why relationships will most likely end in college

 

[tonystarks2984]

chicks is ruthless nowadays. After all of that she still hopin they can work it out

.

 

[j d0t c0medy]

 

[everydaykicks]

Damn,

 

[deceptikk0n]

wow good read. his response was crazy

 

[nyzmagician]

Originally Posted by Wraith aka invincible

Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,


Tom

best part

I agree.

 

[daprescription]