Great break up letter (along lines of that girl who got ownd on craigs list)

[buttons mcboomboom]

Sorry if a repost..I tried searching. Just a funny letter making its rounds on the interwebs....

http://booshmagazine.com/articles/cat/17/item/267http://booshmagazine.com/articles/cat/17/item/267



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http://booshmagazine.com/articles/cat/17/item/267
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Best Break-up Letter Ever?

By: Staff
[/td] [td]Updated: October 31, 2008[/td] [/tr][/table]
Boosh is never one to spread gossip like other college blogs seem to enjoy doing, but when one of our staff members received this e-mail we couldn't help but share it with you. Names have been changed and we omitted the University, but with how hilarious it is, it's probably only a matter of time before the whole story comes out. On with it:

So my friend goes to University of ####### and he received these messages from his
friend who was cheated on by his girlfriend. The first message is her
apology, the second is his response. Enjoy.

Tom,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way.

There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even
try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a
stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us,
what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird, the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile
if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel
beyond crushed.

I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't.
I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this
is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and
weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect
that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I
hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back
what happened. I am so sorry.
- Sarah
response

Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under 'L' for
'Long-winded diatribes from drunken #@+$*% I couldn't care less about'.
You did a stupid thing huh?
No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid
thing'; Mixing in a red Sock with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing';
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn't as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if

it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think
that by saying 'Well, I didn't F him' somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think
you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the
mill c-m-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,

Tom

 

[5am6oody72]

Dude went in.

 

[ballinsam23]

owned. nice letter though

 

[h4ppytime harry]

sounds fake. generic names, blowing a guy for 45 minutes

, etc

 

[litlbibby]

 

[carlosdapaperboy]

.

[Denzel] My *!**%! [/Denzel]

Damn, that scallywag got....

 

[xxlil ryanxx]

Originally Posted by litlbibby

 

[916jordanboy]

...whoa..

 

[heliumclinton]

Duke said Jellybeans

-dead

 

[cornzilla]

 

[23jordancollector]

Wow

 

[terroristtim]

dude went in hard body.....i cant even imagine what was runnin thru ol girls mind when she was readin that

 

[shoehefner5]

"That %#$& that make ya soul burn slow"

 

[ac4three]

Meh...

The craigslist one was way better.

 

[silentxnight]

Originally Posted by H4ppyTime Harry

sounds fake. generic names, blowing a guy for 45 minutes

, etc

Boosh is never one to spread gossip like other college blogs seem to enjoy doing, but when one of our staff members received this e-mail we couldn'thelp but share it with you. Names have been changed and we omitted the University, but with how hilarious it is,it's probably only a matter of time before the whole story comes out. On with it:

speaking of "stupid things"...

 

[mycoldyourdone]

hahaha tak to you never.....ahhaha

damn.......i %!%#$%$ hate that feeling tho....

and broad actually said i hope u didnt mean the stuff u said.....gtfohwtbs

 

[wraith aka invincible]

Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,


Tom

best part

 

[crossisom]

 

[Shanegerous]

lol that was pretty funny.

 

[ghost703]

ETHER!

 

[vansoffthewa11]

owned

 

[firenflames]

Very nice read

 

[guillermo gutierez]

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

I wouldn't say she got really owned, but she was trying to use her so called "misery and despair" over the break-up to get back with dude cuz theguy she was blowing knew she was triflin and didnt give her a 2nd glance. But i give him credit for responding the way he did and sending it to other people,atleast it puts her out for being the person she is.

 

[pip777]

Wow. Nice execution.