Gilbert Arenas....thought about ending it all last Sunday....vol. Suicidal Thoughts

[shuges]

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

true 3 blue:

---

thank God he didn't do it.

He didn't do it because he never wanted to do it. He wanted to tell us and the media that he thought about it.

If he wanted to do it, it would have been done People who are serious about suicide don't talk the next day about how they thought about it; we talk the next day about how we never saw it coming, what we could have done to prevent it, and how we're going to miss them.

I know this is going to be interpreted as me being insensitive, but suffice it to say that I have done a considerable amount of research into suicide ideations. There are people who fake a suicide attempt, people who talk about thinking about suicide, people who failed at killing theirself then had a change of heart and didn't try again after the initial failure... and then there are people in morgues, due to suicide.

Arenas definitely has a personality disorder.

I am 100% positive. I'm not saying he is looney and needs to be sent off to the nearest mental health hospital as soon as possible. I am merely expressing my (unprofessional, non-credentialed) opinion that he definitely has a personality disorder.

The interesting thing about his blog story came in the first line, where he noted that media was present.

P.S. On everything, y'all BETTER not respond to me like I'm hating on Arenas.

I'm confused as to why you said "some might think I'm being insensitive". Everything typed BEFORE that statement indicates that youthink Gil considered suicide but he didn't go through with it because what? He wants attention? He was lying? Both might indicate that he DOES have somesort of personality disorder. And in both cases, then yeah, I would say you're being insensitive... UP TO that point in your response.

Everything typed AFTER the "insensitive" statement, clearly shows that you DO think he has a mental problem. But yet, with tongue-in-cheek, you seemto be accusing him of looking for attention. To me, they kind of go hand in hand. (At least in THIS case where - as some of the responses in here suggest - hecreated this very elaborate story for attention BECAUSE he has a mental disorder). So again, yeah... it does seem insensitive of you to basically say thatsomeone might have a mental problem but then you act as if that same person is just messing around. You're actually dismissing the cry for help. Which iswhy I say it seems insensitive on your end. A person who did such extensive work on the topic.

In other words, if you did all this research on suicide and mental disorders, you KNOW it's a serious issue. But yet, you're acting like he's justseeking attention. While still saying that you "100%" think he has a mental problem.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting you here. When you say he has a mental problem, do you mean it in the sense like "man, Gilbert you crazy son!". Or doyou mean "guys, Gilbert has an issue. I think he needs medical help".

Cuz if it's the latter, then yeah... your entire response was a tad insensitive.

P.S. I better not hear nothing like I'm hating on ska!!

 

[japanair21]

The dude wants to play, that's all that it is.

 

[ai bundy]

Originally Posted by SHUGES

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

true 3 blue:

---

thank God he didn't do it.

He didn't do it because he never wanted to do it. He wanted to tell us and the media that he thought about it.

If he wanted to do it, it would have been done People who are serious about suicide don't talk the next day about how they thought about it; we talk the next day about how we never saw it coming, what we could have done to prevent it, and how we're going to miss them.

I know this is going to be interpreted as me being insensitive, but suffice it to say that I have done a considerable amount of research into suicide ideations. There are people who fake a suicide attempt, people who talk about thinking about suicide, people who failed at killing theirself then had a change of heart and didn't try again after the initial failure... and then there are people in morgues, due to suicide.

Arenas definitely has a personality disorder.

I am 100% positive. I'm not saying he is looney and needs to be sent off to the nearest mental health hospital as soon as possible. I am merely expressing my (unprofessional, non-credentialed) opinion that he definitely has a personality disorder.

The interesting thing about his blog story came in the first line, where he noted that media was present.

P.S. On everything, y'all BETTER not respond to me like I'm hating on Arenas.

I'm confused as to why you said "some might think I'm being insensitive". Everything typed BEFORE that statement indicates that you think Gil considered suicide but he didn't go through with it because what? He wants attention? He was lying? Both might indicate that he DOES have some sort of personality disorder. And in both cases, then yeah, I would say you're being insensitive... UP TO that point in your response.

Everything typed AFTER the "insensitive" statement, clearly shows that you DO think he has a mental problem. But yet, with tongue-in-cheek, you seem to be accusing him of looking for attention. To me, they kind of go hand in hand. (At least in THIS case where - as some of the responses in here suggest - he created this very elaborate story for attention BECAUSE he has a mental disorder). So again, yeah... it does seem insensitive of you to basically say that someone might have a mental problem but then you act as if that same person is just messing around. You're actually dismissing the cry for help. Which is why I say it seems insensitive on your end. A person who did such extensive work on the topic.

In other words, if you did all this research on suicide and mental disorders, you KNOW it's a serious issue. But yet, you're acting like he's just seeking attention. While still saying that you "100%" think he has a mental problem.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting you here. When you say he has a mental problem, do you mean it in the sense like "man, Gilbert you crazy son!". Or do you mean "guys, Gilbert has an issue. I think he needs medical help".

Cuz if it's the latter, then yeah... your entire response was a tad insensitive.

P.S. I better not hear nothing like I'm hating on ska!!

Arenas craves attention, this was just another stunt to draw attention to himself. That's all.

 

[grittyman20]

No big deal...I imagine lots of people think about stuff like that.
In no way does it make Gil "the realest"

I agree that he's an attention seeker, but aren't all people who take the time out to write a blog?

 

[ezflash26]

Who knew that such deep and thoughtful lyrics as "I'm in my Cool Whip, insides Jello..." could talk a man off the ledge.
lol, exactly what I thought when reading that...

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

true 3 blue:

---

thank God he didn't do it.

He didn't do it because he never wanted to do it. He wanted to tell us and the media that he thought about it.

If he wanted to do it, it would have been done People who are serious about suicide don't talk the next day about how they thought about it; we talk the next day about how we never saw it coming, what we could have done to prevent it, and how we're going to miss them.

I know this is going to be interpreted as me being insensitive, but suffice it to say that I have done a considerable amount of research into suicide ideations. There are people who fake a suicide attempt, people who talk about thinking about suicide, people who failed at killing theirself then had a change of heart and didn't try again after the initial failure... and then there are people in morgues, due to suicide.

Arenas definitely has a personality disorder.

I am 100% positive. I'm not saying he is looney and needs to be sent off to the nearest mental health hospital as soon as possible. I am merely expressing my (unprofessional, non-credentialed) opinion that he definitely has a personality disorder.


yea hold up real quick...touched a nerve.

for 1, it doesnt matter if he "wasnt serious about it", you know how many people committed suicide that actually wasnt 'serious' about it(from what Im assuming you mean with the word)? All it takes is someone to have that split second of having that "f*** it" feeling and doingsomething stupid, and considering he was in a car while thinking that, its not hard to turn that wheel all the way a direction. Speaking on the situationout-loud is the best thing you can do to bring attention to it, holding it in will only make the thoughts re-appear everytime you go through some adversity.Honestly I damn near have to go to my second hand with people I know personally who had committed suicide and dealt with problems myself growing up.

As for Gilbert having a disorder, its been said multiple times by beatwriters/reporters/random & former teammates that he's "different",so...And again, he said 'Dey Know' brung him back down to calmness, so you could take that how you want...hell you would think that listening to aShawty Lo verse would only agitate...

 

[quik1987]

Good thing he wasn't listening to some Suicidal Thought by BIG

 

[darthska]

SHUGES and EzFlash26- y'all must have missed something I said. "There are people who fake a suicide attempt, people who talk aboutthinking about suicide, people who failed at killing theirself then had a change of heart and didn't try again after the initial failure...and then there are people in morgues, due to suicide."

Gilbert is that guy.

There are certain things that you look for in dealing with someone threatening suicide. Do they have the availability? Own a gun? Fatal pills? A knife? Avehicle?

Obviously, he has the availability.

Does the person have a plan? And no, "Man, I thought about just taking that gun, putting it to my head, and pulling the trigger" does NOT qualify asa plan. That's simply an ideation, a thought. A plan would be if he had said "I was going to do it, man. I was headed 123 towards this cliff, I had itall thought out and I was doing it. Then I just changed my mind." See, there's a plan there.

Does the person have any signs of personality disorders? In Gil's case, absolutely. That is the most important thing, because a person without a mentaldisorder talking about suicide is more serious about their words and their ideations than someone who has a mental disorder.

In Gil's case (this is more directed at you, SHUGES), the reason it might seem like I was being insensitive is because I see everything I need to see toformulate the opinion that he's not really a threat to himself... at all. Not even a little bit.

If you have played any kind of sport for an extended period of time, I am positive... POSITIVE... that you have encountered that guy that's all bark, andno bite. He's always talking about going off on the next dude that hacks him, or how the centerfielder don't want it with him, or blah, blah, blah.Eventually, people pay him no mind anymore. He still goes off, and everyone knows he's full of it.

That guy isn't REALLY serious about fighting anyone. Ever. You don't go running your mouth and develop a reputation for running your mouth... withoutever laying a hand on anyone. If you're really, REALLY serious about fighting, you fight. He might PARTIALLY think to himself 'Swear to God, the nextperson that fouls me... it's a wrap'; sure, PART of him might think that, but a very small part of him, because everyone knows that he's never doneit.

Take that same dynamic of 'a small part of him is serious, but everyone knows that it's such a small part that he's no real threat to anyone'.From the things I've seen about Gil's character type, from his own words in the story, and from some of the things I know to be true about thehappenings before the car ride where he had suicidal ideations, I have this (unprofessional, non-credentialed*) opinion: a small part of him was serious, butit's such a small part that he's no real threat to himself.

So when you say 'Man, he threatened to kill himself, and you're acting like he just did it for attention!', you have to understand that the thingsI see tell a different tell story. He didn't threaten to kill himself. "I'm going to go kill myself!' is a threat; 'I'm through!I'm not wearing this jersey anymore! Eff everything!' is not a threat.

And the next day, talking about some suicidal thought you had last night is also not a threat. The next day, talking about how you were on your way to doingit, you were going 183 and headed straight for this cliff you knew about, but then changed your mind and stopped and got out of the car and cried for anhour... THAT is a statement of prior threatening behavior. But the next day, talking about how you were driving around and you wondered what it would be liketo just slam into that pole, that's not threatening.

So understand that I absolutely NOT intending to come across like 'Man, this dude was just doing this for attention. How are you going to take such a cryfor help so lightly?'

This kind of behavior is common in many different personality disorders. It's not that he's intentionally lying, because when you think about you +death, then... yeah... you are kind of serious about it. KIND OF. But you are still a far cry from a threat to yourself. There is absolutely NO need... not'very little need', bot 'NO need'... for anyone to freak out if some random person had done EXACTLY what Gil did.

It's not that he's intentionally misleading anyone; it's that there are MANY clues that indicated that he is nowhere near serious about what hesaid. Maybe you could say this: it's not that he's intentionally lying to everyone; it's that he's not being completely honest with himself.

NOW... (dammit, this is getting too long

Got me writing a freaking essay over here), that begs the question: "Well what if he was serious? Thenhe's dead, and you're just going, 'Oops! I was wrong. He was serious everyone. My bad!'

But to understand what I'm trying to say, you have to look at things from a personality perspective, and we all do that anyways. What are the odds thatKobe Bryant is just going to be like Barry Sanders from now on, where he seldom argues with anyone... refs, teammates, coaches, ANYONE... and he just does histhing every night, gives a little interview, and hides in house, seldom seen by anyone except when he comes to work? What are the odds? And what are the oddsthat someone like Grant Hill is going to just all of a sudden start being like Chad Johnson, celebrating himself all the time, coming up with crazy sideshowantics, and all that jazz? What are the odds Hill would do that?

Pretty low for Kobe, and pretty low for Grant, right? because we know certain things about their personalities.

I'm doing the same thing when I say that I'm not the least bit worried that Gil is of no threat to himself; it's just that the personality traitswe see in Barry Sanders, Kobe, Grant Hill, and Chad Johnson are kind of easy to spot. The things I see in Gil are a little more complex. But they're there.

Like I said in the beginning of my previous reply: He didn't do it because he never wanted to do it. He wanted to tell us and the media that he thoughtabout it.

When I say 'he never wanted to do it', I mean that there never appears to have been a time where a LARGE majority of his person (65, 70, maybe 90%)WANTED to be dead.

And when I say 'He wanted to tell us and the media that he thought about it,' I don't mean that he was lying, or setting the hole thing up forattention. But I do mean that he could have made two points: be dead, or talk about wanting to be dead. Which one did he choose?

*It's important that I have mentioned that 'unprofessional, non-credentialed' disclaimer in there, lest anyone ask me 'Man, who the hell areyou? Gil's therapist? Are you even a therapist at all?' I am a few weeks away from a B.A. in Counseling Psychology, but by no means does that make mean authority. At all. I am simply expressing my opinion, not writing a diagnosis for Gil. I want everyone out there to know that I know that.

 

[downtown43]

i kinda see where he's coming from, but i dont know why he put this in his blog... sometimes i "think" about killing myself too (differencebetween "thinking" about suicide, and actually "contemplating" suicide), but i dont actually tell anyone.

like when i was at Niagara Falls as a kid... we went up on the observation deck which overlooked the falls (if you've been there you know what i'mtalking about). and i just hung over the railings and thought "what if i just jumped off of this right now", and thought about how it'd feel tohit the water and go under

or i'll be holding a knife, and i'd think "what if i just slit my wrists right now, it wouldn't take much effort"

or when i'm driving, i'll just think "what if i just jerked the wheel a little and crashed into that pillar"

i dunno, i just wonder about death a lot, and how it would feel to die in various ways.

yeah, its a little weird and i would NEVER actually put it on my personal blog or talk about it with people i know. but don't tell me you've neverthought about suicide. i refuse to believe i'm that abnormal.

 

[darthska]

^ And plenty... BILLIONS... of people have done those same things.

And those are called 'suicidal ideations'.

Just because you look over the edge of Niagara Falls and wonder how it would feel to jump does NOT mean everyone needs to flip out and label you'suicidal'.

There are other things that need to be factored into the equation before things get taken to that level.

 

[shuges]

the reason it might seem like I was being insensitive is because I see everything I need to see to formulate the opinion that he's not really a threat to himself... at all. Not even a little bit.

So understand that I absolutely NOT intending to come across like 'Man, this dude was just doing this for attention. How are you going to take such a cry for help so lightly?'

It's not that he's intentionally misleading anyone; it's that there are MANY clues that indicated that he is nowhere near serious about what he said. Maybe you could say this: it's not that he's intentionally lying to everyone; it's that he's not being completely honest with himself.


See, I'm glad you cleared things up. I totally see what you were trying to say. Makes more sense to me now.

And I'm glad you saw why I felt the way I did (I hope! Cuz I know I may not have been as clear as I would have liked). I just thought you really believedhe was trying to off himself yet was dismissing it as him being an attention-+@%%#. I'm still a bit puzzled at the "100%" comment though.

Even still though ska... Don't they say that sometimes the smallest cry can have some legitimacy behind it? Where there's smoke.....
Either way, we appreciate your ska-as-Meth response!

 

[eb4president]

Did SKA bring up KOBE? ha ha that is great, I knew you would come around!!!!

Seriously we are givin this guy what he wants , some ATTENTION. Most NBA players need basketball. To get in the nba you have to be really good, regardless ofwhat us fans think. And to be really good and play professional basketball you have to give your life to that sport. I am sure with the pressure put upon theseplayers that a lot of them at one point think about suicide or just walking away from it all.

Gil is just thinking how can i draw attention away from my team and towards me. I want my return to be special, I dont even care if we win, or how i mightaffect chemistry this is about my return in DC. Im not worried about THE WIZARDS playoff position im worried about playing.


I am a wizards fans and NO we are not better without Gilbert because he is an amazing talent but I think we are a good team. Itll be interesting to see whatJamison will do this off season since Gil is so content on opting out for MORE money.

 

[melovp]

Put him anywhere, he's the realest dude in the room.

 

[darthska]

SHUGES:

---

Even still though ska... Don't they say that sometimes the smallest cry can have some legitimacy behind it? Where there's smoke.....
Imagine you were on a bomb squad.

If you saw things that you KNEW indicated that the thing that was just thrown into the room with a digital timer attached was nothing more than an empty, tapedup shoebox with a couple wires sticking out and a digital timer attached to the top, would you take that seriously?

Of course you would. EVERY time. Because that ONE time where you exhaled, thinking 'It's just an empty box', and you were wrong... it was really abomb... BOOM. You're dead.

So yeah, do 'they' say that sometimes the smallest cry can have SOME legitimacy behind it?

Certainly.

Key word: SOME; not 'a ton of legitimacy', but.. 'some'.

And that's why never said that everyone should just ignore him. Quite the opposite, actually. If I were in his circle and I knew this, I would actuallymake it a point to pay CLOSER attention to him. What he has done would be no sudden alarm for me, but it would cause me to be just a taaaad more observant ofmy friend, listening to the types of things he'll be saying in the next few weeks, watching whether he does anything like buy a gun for no APPARENT reason,seeing if he's talking about suicidal thoughts and 'I wonder if the world is better without me' type expressions, and how often he says thosethings, showing signs of depression, hopelessness, or despair.

And the 100% thing had to do with me being 100% certain that he has a personality disorder, not '100% certain' that he is of 0% threat to himself.

 

[shuges]

So you're saying that you think he has a personality disorder. But not a disorder strong enough to consider ACTUAL suicide just yet right?

 

[darthska]

Exactly.

 

[checkoutmygrill]

lol at you dudes thinking he actually thought about committing suicide

 

[CP1708]

Good stuff Ska.

 

[japanair21]

I know I'm chiming in kind of late, but Gilbert just wants to play ball in my opinion, it's his life, and that's why he's such a shining imagein the NBA society. Yeah, he loves money, he loves fame, but the dude LOVES basketball more than anything. He just wants to play.

 

[ezflash26]

ska, I wasnt actually defending Gilbert Arenas per se with everything I said, cuz like I said I dont believe he was serious about it either just from what helet on about the situation (tho its still nothing to be played around with or taken lightly), I dont think your being insensitive on that...I responded becauseI actually know dudes who have committed suicide, and a couple of your theories to why suicides come about I felt were hollow because they wouldnt hold for thesupposed reasonings of cases I know/seen first hand.

Not every case is just as follow-the-dots "look at a person's personality patterns to see if you ever saw this coming", because every responds toadversity different, and has a different outlook on life in general. Im sure you've heard a situation where somebody did something damaging to themselvesor somebody else and had everybody wondering 'he never seemed the type who would do that'. When you dont really value life, you dont need a plan, allit takes is you saying "!$*# it", thats it. One person in particular, my boy Brandon Kirby (if story isnt still up on Yahoo, its on Facebook), who Igrew up with since 3rd grade, didnt have a plan (although his situation was 'unique'), just didnt give a !$*#. Im sure things like that are nearundetectable because these people more than likely would never be diagnosed with having any problems.

Everything youre saying is obviously logical (and I appreciate the insight), but of a lot of that cant be applied and blanked on every case, everybody aintwired the same. Thats pretty much all I was arguing.

 

[pharelfor3]

I dont think he ever really intended to do it but the thought ran through his mind. Many people have these kind of thoughts all the time. He is just anotherhuman being.

 

[shuges]

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

Exactly.

Gotcha.

And I agree with EzFlash26 that it's not as connect-the-dots as it appears at times.

In defense of ska though Ez, he did put that disclaimer:

*It's important that I have mentioned that 'unprofessional, non-credentialed' disclaimer in there, lest anyone ask me 'Man, who the hell are you? Gil's therapist? Are you even a therapist at all?' I am a few weeks away from a B.A. in Counseling Psychology, but by no means does that make me an authority. At all. I am simply expressing my opinion, not writing a diagnosis for Gil. I want everyone out there to know that I know that.

So basically, no one should turn to ska if they are considering suicide.

 

[akf0dy7]

Originally Posted by Roc Boy Jada

Originally Posted by true 3 blue

thank God he didn't do it.

 

[N41D]

It all goes back to something I've said about Arenas all along: the man needs basketball. attention.

Fixed... The only thing that could drive Gil to kill himself, would be if people weren't talking about him for 5 minutes... He's like thatinsecure girl from your high school Language Arts class, that slept with every guy in school because it made her feel better about herself.

I like the dude a lot as a basketball player, but really? Hush up. If you're serious about it, and you really considered driving your car into a light postthen jumping into a lake to drown, get the hell off your blog and find help. If you're not serious, talking and joking about committing suicide isn'tfunny. At all.

 

[sick ik 23]

he shoulda done it...

na but it's good he kept himself in check and didn't do nothing crazy.