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- Mar 13, 2004
I just read this in the paper:
This is from his blog, but it's an excerpt that talks about what he was thinking when the doctors told him he was still going to be on the shelf foranother week or so....
This is from his blog, but it's an excerpt that talks about what he was thinking when the doctors told him he was still going to be on the shelf foranother week or so....
That's when I threw all my clothes out of my locker, yelling, "I don't want it! This jersey is never going to be played in this year!" Then the media was there and I was like, "You don't need to keep asking me when I'm going to be playing again, because I'm not playing no more this year!"
Then I stormed out.
At the end of the day, I had to go home anyway to pick up a collared shirt and a sports jacket. It's about a 35 minute drive each way. On the way home I was listening to music and I started to calm down thinking, "Let me hurry up and get back, they're thinking I'm going to be mad and stay home."
Which I was mad, but I really wanted to watch the game at the end of the day.
So I came on back and got there at the end of the first period and then I waited until the period was over and went out there on the bench at the beginning of the second period.
It was just me and my car … speeding -- something that I shouldn't be doing.
Then I got that thought that I know everybody gets once in a while, I was like, "You know, what if I just ran my car into this pole right here?"
I don't know why I thought that, but I kept going with it.
"Then I can jump off the road into this lake and just swim … or drown. Whichever one comes first."
It was really devastating. I was thinking, "Mannn, again?!"
But I listened to Young Jeezy's verse in "They Know" to get me past those bad thoughts … plus, I'm sane. I'm a sane person, I wouldn't do that to myself.
Rest of Gil's Blog
This is what Ivan Carter (Wizards Insider) said about Gil, and I agree with him 100%
Wow. Arenas has never been afraid to open a window into his soul but this one tops them all. I knew he was upset after the doctors told he couldn't play the other night but the part about what went through his mind while driving is stunning. But the man has a point: we've all been there (I know I have). It all goes back to something I've said about Arenas all along: the man needs basketball. It's who he is and what he's about. Without it, he's just not the same person. He'll be called weird or worse for opening up like that in a blog but I just think that he's being totally human.
Discuss......