Engagement Vol: Its Time

[ksteezy]

This is talking from someone who got married locally and to this day me and the wife agree we wasted money celebrating with very few people we actually wanted there because being locally we had to accommodate our parents 3rd grade teacher and ***

 

[zekethephysique]

This info goes for anyone wanting a destination wedding, thought of making a thread about it now that my sisnlaw is taking the planning more seriously, but she can help link you with the planner, create a vision, help with invites, budget, etc...there are photogs out there but I also fly out and shoot myself...destination weddings can add up, but trust me with the right info and people you can save a ton, my sisinlaws wedding was BEAUTIFUL and I think her total spendings with rings, dress and suit and even flights I think were a bit over 20k for 65 guests....the wedding looked nicer than some 100k+ weddings I've shot

DM'ing you too. I went to my boy's wedding in Cancun in September '14. It was off the chain! The fact you can invite whomever... especially rando "friend's" and extended family on both sides... and you don't have to worry about them actually showing up, but they still get that invitation is key. Guests were hooking up leading up to wedding day cause it was beautiful there and the booze was flowing. 

 

[jumpmanpro97]

Ours is in Hawaii and its around 65 people also. The cost right now if floating around $25K my sister and homey had their weddings here in LA. 200+ people and they spent damn near $65k + . We're not about that life As long as you photographer is good, location is nice and DJ is good. You'll be good.

Guest have to fly themselves out which weeds out the family members you don't really care for.

 

[ksteezy]

Hawaii sounds amaziiiiing, miss that place, can only imagine how beautiful a wedding there can be

 

[Fong$tarr]

Yo Steezy. Since I got you in here, care to explain this photo? Was this just a prop that was at a destination wedding? Love this photo.

 

[ksteezy]

Haha yeah bro, the venue which is what I'm pretty much speaking of in here has those Marquee letters on their beach area, there is also a pirate ship that docks every evening....the venue is called The Huracan Restaurant in Punta Cana and that shot is a composite of two shots

 

[grimeyy]

Man. Me and my girl just got engaged recently and she's been going nuts with the planning LOL Used to want to do a destination wedding but we decided to do something locally just to get more family there (we're both asian and we all know how asians are with their money)

Destination wouldve been sweet though

 

[b33r money]

Im a guy thats been married for 4 years..
My only advice to those engaged at the momemnt in this thread is this :

-you still have a chance to get out an eternity of slavery.

- marriage sucks and is NOT for everybody.

- your time is no longer your time. You thought it was bad when your parents were always calling you home after playing outside and wanting you to come in but everyone else is still out. Marriage is that x 10

 

[panaricanretro]

Im a guy thats been married for 4 years..
My only advice to those engaged at the momemnt in this thread is this :

-you still have a chance to get out an eternity of slavery.

- marriage sucks and is NOT for everybody.

- your time is no longer your time. You thought it was bad when your parents were always calling you home after playing outside and wanting you to come in but everyone else is still out. Marriage is that x 10

Lol. Dude sounds like you're not in a good place. It's not that bad, and if you're with the right person it's great... most of the time. When it sucks though, it really does suck.

If you like having your freedom, going out with your friends, taking trips for the weekend with friends or fan and not having to answer to anybody then he's right, marriage isn't for you.

If the woman you're marrying has a lot of her own friends and family close-by then you don't deal as much with checking in, having to be home, etc.

He's right though, marriage in this day and time truly isn't for everybody. We're a much less traditional culture than ever before and marriage was built on a very old school culture of the woman being domestic, the man being the bread-winner, a lot of kids in the mix, and a strong community of friends and family all around. The world is mad different now but we approach marriage the same way which very often doesn't work. Just know what you guys truly expect of eachother.

 

[ksteezy]

Im a guy thats been married for 4 years..
My only advice to those engaged at the momemnt in this thread is this :

-you still have a chance to get out an eternity of slavery.

- marriage sucks and is NOT for everybody.

- your time is no longer your time. You thought it was bad when your parents were always calling you home after playing outside and wanting you to come in but everyone else is still out. Marriage is that x 10

Why did you even get married in the first place?...did you NOT know the person you married?

 

[ksteezy]

We live in a babymama/babydaddy age....is a damn shame and the main reason why the idea of a family is so overlooked.

 

[shogun]

Nahhh Fong....guests covered their own, but like I said my sisnlaw will handle the resort your guest will stay at and try to negotiate a cheaper rate if you can guarantee a number of guests....depending on that the resort might even host a welcome dinner, she did all this for her wedding...

Either way, guests will always raise a brow when you invite them to a destination wedding, those that don't matter will bail, so it weeds out the people you shouldn't pay to feed, so IMO is a win for you, those that do go, will have an absolute blast, GUARANTEED, there is no beating a destination wedding bro, the most glamorous local wedding is over before you can blink, a destination is a multiple day celebration, guests will hook up, new friends will be found, etc...

You underestimate cheap Asian people. The people that would bail on my wedding would all be my immediate family. Haha. My cousins is even marrying a guy that is from Missouri and almost 80% of my family is not going cause they don't want to pay for the airfare. It sucks but I guess this type of wedding is more suitable for people that aren't as stingy to spend money. I can dig it but I don't think the rest of my Wu Tang Clan will.

Spending a lot of money to attend a wedding is probably tough for a lot of people. I come from a semi-cheap Asian family as well. If I was asked to go to a destination wedding right now, i'd probably decline.

 

[slighted]

Im a guy thats been married for 4 years..
My only advice to those engaged at the momemnt in this thread is this :

-you still have a chance to get out an eternity of slavery.

- marriage sucks and is NOT for everybody.

- your time is no longer your time. You thought it was bad when your parents were always calling you home after playing outside and wanting you to come in but everyone else is still out. Marriage is that x 10

Sad that this has become a very prominent mentality.

Did someone make you propose to your wife?

 

[harlemtothebronx]

Yo Steezy. Since I got you in here, care to explain this photo? Was this just a prop that was at a destination wedding? Love this photo.

This is an amazing photo. Well done @ksteezy.

 

[verdenuggets]

Spending a lot of money to attend a wedding is probably tough for a lot of people. I come from a semi-cheap Asian family as well. If I was asked to go to a destination wedding right now, i'd probably decline.

If you're giving people advance notice of a destination wedding (I gave people almost a year notice), they really have a long time to save and plan for the trip.  If they can't or won't do that for you, then do you even want them at your wedding?  

I'm Viet and I had a destination wedding.  All of my family went.  It's a once in a lifetime event (hopefully) and should be treated as such.

 

[Fong$tarr]

If you're giving people advance notice of a destination wedding (I gave people almost a year notice), they really have a long time to save and plan for the trip.  If they can't or won't do that for you, then do you even want them at your wedding?  


I'm Viet and I had a destination wedding.  All of my family went.  It's a once in a lifetime event (hopefully) and should be treated as such.

I sort of want my mom and dad to go. I mean I even want my brother, sister in law and niece and nephew to go, but I know they will all have issues saving money when they have mortgage, car notes, saving for school and other such things. At least if I have it local, they only have to spend money on the gift and if any, gas and a cheap suit.

I get the justification on destination weddings but it still doesn't sound as fool proof as it seems. If I did a destination wedding right now, I am going to have all the a-holes I don't even want at my wedding anyways just cause all my homies and family are poor. Haha. Sad reality of things but it is what it is. I have to fork over the bill just so they don't have to for a local wedding.

 

[ksteezy]

I sort of want my mom and dad to go. I mean I even want my brother, sister in law and niece and nephew to go, but I know they will all have issues saving money when they have mortgage, car notes, saving for school and other such things. At least if I have it local, they only have to spend money on the gift and if any, gas and a cheap suit.

I get the justification on destination weddings but it still doesn't sound as fool proof as it seems. If I did a destination wedding right now, I am going to have all the a-holes I don't even want at my wedding anyways just cause all my homies and family are poor. Haha. Sad reality of things but it is what it is. I have to fork over the bill just so they don't have to for a local wedding.

Fong do hey not ever vacay?...this isn't just your wedding, everyone takes the opportunity to make a vacation out of it, some stay longer then others and DR has specials bro...not all resorts are 400$ a night and most if not all if you guarantee X amount of guests, they will block off a certain number of rooms at a discounted rate....plan it during a low travel season and plane tix can be as cheap as 300-400$ literally if people have a budget they can spend the weekend for 700$ discount 200$ at the very least they were gonna gift you and they are out an extra 500$ it really isn't something that will break the bank, specially for a son, daughter, brother, cousin, nephew, etc.

 

[sheridan91]

Im a guy thats been married for 4 years..
My only advice to those engaged at the momemnt in this thread is this :

-you still have a chance to get out an eternity of slavery.

- marriage sucks and is NOT for everybody.

- your time is no longer your time. You thought it was bad when your parents were always calling you home after playing outside and wanting you to come in but everyone else is still out. Marriage is that x 10

I always said I'd never get married, didn't want to give up my 'freedom'.  I was even that way when my now-wife and I had been together a couple years.  Never saw the point.  

Then she went into the hospital suddenly and was within 6 hours of dying from an internal issue her doctors overlooked, and we didn't even know it until she came out of a 'routine' surgery.  The day after that, I lost my job because of something stupid my boss did and put on me.  6 months of recovery and trying to get back on our feet, and I realized that my idea of 'freedom' was childish, and I wasn't simply me anymore if she wasn't there.  We got married in October '12, and while some things have been hard as hell, I wouldn't change it for the world.

No, marriage isn't for everybody, but it's also not an eternity of slavery either.  You just have to make sure you're with the right person, and it's okay to step back and admit it to yourself if you're not.

 

[slighted]

Quote:

 

Im a guy thats been married for 4 years..
My only advice to those engaged at the momemnt in this thread is this :

-you still have a chance to get out an eternity of slavery.

- marriage sucks and is NOT for everybody.

- your time is no longer your time. You thought it was bad when your parents were always calling you home after playing outside and wanting you to come in but everyone else is still out. Marriage is that x 10

I always said I'd never get married, didn't want to give up my 'freedom'.  I was even that way when my now-wife and I had been together a couple years.  Never saw the point.  

Then she went into the hospital suddenly and was within 6 hours of dying from an internal issue her doctors overlooked, and we didn't even know it until she came out of a 'routine' surgery.  The day after that, I lost my job because of something stupid my boss did and put on me.  6 months of recovery and trying to get back on our feet, and I realized that my idea of 'freedom' was childish, and I wasn't simply me anymore if she wasn't there.  We got married in October '12, and while some things have been hard as hell, I wouldn't change it for the world.

No, marriage isn't for everybody, but it's also not an eternity of slavery either.  You just have to make sure you're with the right person, and it's okay to step back and admit it to yourself if you're not.

Parents told me and my brother: the most important decision you'll ever make in your life is who you choose to marry.

They've been married ~30 years.

 

[Fong$tarr]

Aside from one major sanfu that my fiancee did in the past, she is a dope girl and I know I will never have issues with me having my freedom nor giving hers as well.

Fong do hey not ever vacay?...this isn't just your wedding, everyone takes the opportunity to make a vacation out of it, some stay longer then others and DR has specials bro...not all resorts are 400$ a night and most if not all if you guarantee X amount of guests, they will block off a certain number of rooms at a discounted rate....plan it during a low travel season and plane tix can be as cheap as 300-400$ literally if people have a budget they can spend the weekend for 700$ discount 200$ at the very least they were gonna gift you and they are out an extra 500$ it really isn't something that will break the bank, specially for a son, daughter, brother, cousin, nephew, etc.

My parents and brother only go on trips to Lake Tahoe. Haha. They think LA is a severe trip which is why they never go but they have gone. Me and my sister are the travelers and spenders on those such things. I only started traveling 3 years ago but I have gone to Iceland, Jamaica, Mexico, Belize and some local places like New Orleans and New York. I don't take it for granted as I know not everyone can do this but my folks and my brother would rather just stay home and do local things. Thank god we live in the Bay Area where there is stuff to do.

 

[venom lyrix]

I got engaged last month. She's a runner and was doing the Dopey Challenge in Disney (5k, 10k, half marathon, full marathon - in 4 consecutive days) and the day after the marathon I took her to the wishing well by the castle and proposed. Her mom and bro were there to take pics and video. It went great. Disney and Magic Kingdom is her favorite place on earth, she's been going for 20+ years. My biggest thing was making sure she was surprised, I wanted that big gasp and shock. It went perfectly, she loves the ring, and we're knee deep in wedding planning.

My biggest advice is A. do it the right way - ask the parents B. have someone from your or her family there if they can - gives a sense of welcoming the family, and just lets you share an amazing moment. C. Do it on your terms, don't feel pressure. D. Plan something to say - rehearse it a few times E. Know what knee to get down on - if you're right handed you get down on your left knee so you open the box with your right hand.

Good luck

 

[b33r money]

I knew my wife really well before we got married.. from california we moved to Maryland for a year and before that we were bf/gf for 3 years and then got engaged and a year later got married.

I am 29 years old when i think about it it came down to being married too young. 90 percent of my friends are NOT married so when you see your snapchats/insta/FB i always get FOMO. You can add celebs but i choose not to follow any

She does let me out w/friends but then you are on borrowed time with your friends or whatever you are doing.

I love my wife thats why we are still together i have a lot of patience being that i am a k-2nd school teacher so i deal with a lot on top of a lot so i learned to have patience.. but i know a lot of guys out there with short fuses

 

[slighted]

I knew my wife really well before we got married.. from california we moved to Maryland for a year and before that we were bf/gf for 3 years and then got engaged and a year later got married.

I am 29 years old when i think about it it came down to being married too young. 90 percent of my friends are NOT married so when you see your snapchats/insta/FB i always get FOMO. You can add celebs but i choose not to follow any

She does let me out w/friends but then you are on borrowed time with your friends or whatever you are doing.

I love my wife thats why we are still together i have a lot of patience being that i am a k-2nd school teacher so i deal with a lot on top of a lot so i learned to have patience.. but i know a lot of guys out there with short fuses

Interesting choice of words.

"Let you"? You a caged animal?

 

[ksteezy]

Shout outs to those happily married NTers, marriage is a beautiful thing even when it's ugly, knowing that you are building on a lifetime of memories with someone else, that maybe in 60 years there will be children and grandchildren you two created, there is nothing that can top that....yeah being on your own is cool and all, eventually you'll get old and it'll be in your nature to want someone by your side and hopefully then is not too late...

The good times are enjoyable, the bad times is what makes it worth it, you learn patience and commitment to another level, you become aware as a man that it's ok to fall and have a woman pick you up...maybe I'm just a sappy dude but after 16 years together and almost 6 married there is nothing I would take back or envy from my dudes that decided marriage is not for them and they just tallying up a body count...cool and all when they share the nudes on the chat, but the temporary satisfaction of being single and getting a nut off will never compare to building a foundation with the one you love.

 

[b33r money]

Interesting choice of words.

"Let you"? You a caged animal?

when you are a married man yes you do have to ask or let them know where you are going. Just remember when the bars or lounge closes she expects you to be home