First of all, I'ma try to avoid spoilers in this post but I really don't give a **** because this movie doesn't have a plot where avoiding spoilers would be beneficial to the overall experience.
I'm a diehard DC fanboy, been so all my life. Always preferred DC to Marvel, except Spider-Man who I specifically prefer over everyone else.
I wanted to like this movie. I wanted to walk out and go, "Damn, that was dope."
Nah.
Nah, b.
NAH. I walked out of that theater like
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First of all, the good
Will Smith killt the Deadshot role like I hoped he would as a Will Smith fan. There was a lot of Will being Will but it worked so well you don't even care. That whole subplot with his daughter I dug.
Margot Robbie was fantastic as Harley Quinn, not much more needs to be said.
I loved what little we saw of the Joker. He was genuinely scary, like you weren't sure of what he was going to do next. TDK Joker was foremost interested in pushing his nihlist philosophy on you and even denied being crazy, but this Joker gives absolutely no dambs and the instability is clear as hell. I would love to see him be the main villain of the Battfleck movie. He was less nihilist murderer and more gangster. His primary motivation is not chaos or destruction, but getting his chick back. Which humanizes the character to a fantastic degree. Gangster running Gotham Joker is cool in my book. Dudes are against businessman Joker but forget Batman TAS and other interpretations contain a Joker who was very much bout his.
Hell, the famous "Death in the Family" story had Businessman Joker in it.
The Joker/Quinn relationship is treated as an ACTUAL relationship as opposed to the Quinn gives and Joker takes/Joker doesn't care about Harley/Joker abuses Harley situation that we usually see. The two clearly care about each other to an almost touching degree. The scene where Quinn is baptized by the Joker is almost heartwarming. Point blank, Joker is sprung on Harley in the DCeU.
Viola Davis, Amanda Waller, nuff said. Need her savagery in JL especially when you take the mid-credits scene into account
Soundtrack is piff; a lot of reviewers complained about the pop music and though it is a tad excessive it works for the tone of the film.
Cara Delevingne is delicious.
Rick Flagg was iight
Visuals were coo.
I didn't hate Killer Croc like I thought I would, but that doesn't mean I liked him all that much.
Everything below ***** up the movie for me:
The jokes. I swear to God every time a character makes a joke it would be this 45 45 10 split: 45% chance of the joke being quiet chuckle to yourself, maybe sort of funny, 10% chance of it being laugh out loud hilarious, and 45 % chance it would be ridiculously corny/cringeworthy. Not cool. Some jokes were so terrible that you just had to facepalm.
The entire premise/purpose for the creation of the team is silly as hell:
Amanda Waller is afraid that the next "Superman" figure will not be so selfless and giving. So she proposes that the government assembles a secret team in order to combat this potential threat. Cool. One would assume that this is a team of highly potent metahumans, right?
REMEMBER, THE PURPOSE OF THIS TEAM IS EXPLICITLY STATED IN THE MOVIE TO COMBAT AN EVIL SUPERMAN/BEING OF SIMILAR POWER, ALONGSIDE THE UNDERTAKING OF SUPER CLASSIFIED BLACK OPS MISSIONS/INFILTRATIONS. But let's rock with that first premise because this movie is more concerned with the "what if there was an evil Superman" aspect of the team's purpose as opposed to the black ops part.
Now, what does this anti-meta team consist of?
1. A guy with destructive fire powers. iight, cool.
2. An ancient witch from another dimension? Iight cool.
3. A dude who watches BET Uncut like it's 2003, that has a mutation that makes him look like a crocodile? Uh, okay. At least he has super strength.
4. Captain Boomerang???! Wut???? AND THEY AINT EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO GIVE US RIDICULOUSLY OVER THE TOP TRICK BOOMERANG CAPTAIN BOOMERANG. JUST SOME SCRUB WHO THE FLASH WASHED AND HAPPENS TO LIKE THROWING BOOMERANGS. SON THREW LIKE 5 OF THEM ***** THE ENTIRE MOVIE AND SPENT THE REST OF THEM MAKING JOKES OR FIGHTING HAND TO HAND WITH HIS GOT DAMN BOOMERANGS!!!!! THIS ***** IS PART OF THE ELITE SECRET CLASSIFIED TEAM MEANT TO END THE METAHUMAN THREAT!?!? WUT??
5. Harley Quin??? What exactly is her special ability to combat this supposed Superman/Zod/Doomsday level threat? She gone seduce Darksied???
6. Deadshot?? SUPERMAN/MOST OTHER METAHUMANS ARE IMPERVIOUS TO BULLETS BRUH. He's cool on the black ops tip but not the "metahuman preparation initiative" tip.
7. SLIP. MUTHA *******. KNOT?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
THIS IS WALLER'S TEAM TO DEFEND US FROM EVIL ALIENS?!?!?!?!?
But the ridiculousness of the team's composition is a minor complaint in regards to Deadshot and Harley, who are strong, well-rounded characters.
Enchantress is an MCU-level villain. Additionally, the circumstances of her being the major antagonist of the movie tying into the team's creation seems kind of lazy to me. As opposed to "Superman died, omg we need a team", there should have been a very specific and nuanced catalyst that drove Waller to cast this specific group of villains to fulfill her purpose. Joker and his evil shenanigans should have been the driving force of this plot instead of "oh look, Enchantress got away, so now the team I was just creating has a reason for being created even though she was supposed o be part of the team in the first place". That's lazy to me.
The zombified human monsters suck.
Enchantress' brother
Diablo was cool until he randomly started calling the SS his "family" :x :x :x :x :x . Just another miniscule mark on a movie full of marks.
OH LAWD THAT THIRD ACT
JUST A HOT *** SAHARA DESERT AFRICAN BOOTY SWEAT HOT MESS
ENCHANTRESS OUTCHEA DOIN THE HARLEM SHAKE
WHY WAS SHE JUMPIN AROUND FIGHTING WITH THE TWO SWORDS LIKE JACK SPARROW WHEN SHE CLEARLY HAD THE POWER TO OBLITERATE THEM ON THE SPOT
WHY DID SHE RANDOMLY STOP TRYING TO KILL THEM AND OFFER THEM MERCY
HARLEY QUINN, HARLEY MOTHA ******* QUINN, GOING "YOU HURT MY FRIENDS" AND THEN STABBING HER
WHAT WAS THAT LOONEY TUNES ****
THE THROWN GUN IN SLOW MOTION
KILLER CROC LITERALLY COULD HAVE ASKED FOR ANY AMENITY IN THE WORLD AND THIS ***** ASKED FOR BET BRUH!!!!
NEVER MIND THIS DUDE ASKING FOR A SPECIFIC CHANNEL, THIS ***** ASKED FOR B E T !!!!!!!!
ENCHATRESS' ACCENT
YOU DONT HAVE THE BALLS
AND THEN HE KILLED HER AND THE MOVIE SET IT UP TO BE THIS INSANE EMOTIONAL PAYOFF BASED ON PREVIOUS FORESHADOWING BUT DR. MOONE JUST LIVES ANYWAY FOR SOME REASON EVEN AFTER ENCHANTRESS WAS TALKING ALL THAT **** ABOUT HOW SHE WASNT COMING BACK
Ending and mid credits scene was cool.
Joker SHOULD ABSOLUTELY have been in this movie for longer. Again, he should have been the main villain like those deceptive *** trailers led us to believe.
I'm thinking back and I'm not as upset about this movie as when I walked out the theater. I'm still in my mind between "this was mediocre but kind of fun", "this was good all around fun", and "THIS **** WAS DONKEY TRASH".
That third act really ****** the movie up man even though the problems were still peppered throughout the first two. The same issue with BvS.
I have no rating. I saw the glimmer of a classic in this film, but it's a momentary illusion when you regard the whole in its entirety. On a pure enjoyment level it's slightly above Thor 2 to me.
The RT score is whatever. Some critics are tripping, some aren't. This isn't a F4 bad movie by ANY stretch of the imagination tho.
