Confessions

next time try wearing sweats and or basketball shorts. heard of lots of cats doing this at the strip clubs.

Yeah you're not supposed to cream your pants :x

And from what I've heard, any reputable strip club won't let you in wearing sweats or shorts. Those hoodbooger joints will tho
 
I really dig my new girl and she means the world to me but I just can't get that succubus of an ex out of my head, on some Omarion ish smh
Plus it just feels like I am existing and not living, I'll just people watch on my lunch break and the people I see are so freakin happy but I just put on masks all day just to make it, I even do this with my current chick and its killing me
Just never thought my life would be like this
 
I swear I am a young, black George Costanza, in that we're both misunderstood, stressed out, dudes who can't let anything go.

I feel like no one gets me, or enjoys my company, like people just tolerate me.

The only for girl that I like, is with some other dude that graduated last year, even though we never went out, she's got me feeling these " Marvin's Room " emotions.
 
I feel like I live a sheltered life and its greatly affecting how I go about things and how I talk to people. I'm about to turn 30 at the end of the year and still live with my parents, graduated from college 6 years ago and still cant find a good paying job :smh: I am currently working, but its has nothing to do with what i went to school for. I struggle trying to figure out what I want in life but I just can't come up with a straight answer. This **** sucks man :smh:
 
That feel
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I know it.

That thought crosses my mind often and whenever it does it just opens up another level of dragon rage.
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X3
 
I am obsessed with the idea of becoming rich and treating ******* like **** (dont care that the new girls in my life then will not be the same ones that did me in). I have basically made it my goal in life to be Tony Stark without the Iron Man suit and more of an ******* even at just a fraction of his wealth
 
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Have to vent a little:
me & my girl/great friend just broke up over the last couple days. I ain't one to be in pain much or show much emotion at all...man I actually teared up a little last night once I realized I lost my friend & her kid(not my kid) I grew to be kinda attached to. Honestly I think the kid thing is what got me most, I grew up looking up to the image of what I thought my dad was & wanted to be exactly like that since my dad isn't CLOSE to anything I actually think of him as. In my mind my dad is like the superhero that can do no wrong, in real life my dad lives not even 15 minutes away & I don't even know his actual address, see that dude like 1-2 times a year if that. Man I still bought this dude a Christmas gift...a hat & a shirt...took the shirt back & got myself something instead since it was going to waste & the hat is STILL in my trunk right now, still just in disbelief I couldn't get a call back to even just drop off a gift I got him...not even a Merry Christmas or just returning your call thing...

ANYWAY...I didn't wanna have my kid experience anything like that at my expense, although this isn't my kid we have a nice connection...had a nice connection...and I hate the thought of him having someone else in his life & going away(his dad is a deadbeat that tries to pop up once a year half-heartedly & disappears). I didn't wanna be like my dad & now I feel like I became him, although not by choice, that's not something lil man will recognize though. He's only 3 so maybe he won't remember, shouldn't come to that though.

She said she couldn't be just friends anymore because she loved me too much to be anything less than together...:rolleyes...:frown:|I
I'm somewhat cool now & I'll be ok because things weren't working like they needed to so I feel the break up was going to come eventually, I feel a lot more lonely though right now with 1 less friend.

feels bad.
thanks.
 
I'm getting married in 2 weeks and starting to get nervous..Not about being married or anything, but being in the center of the ceremony/dance floor etc. :lol: :smh:
 
ANYWAY...I didn't wanna have my kid experience anything like that at my expense, although this isn't my kid we have a nice connection...had a nice connection...and I hate the thought of him having someone else in his life & going away(his dad is a deadbeat that tries to pop up once a year half-heartedly & disappears). I didn't wanna be like my dad & now I feel like I became him, although not by choice, that's not something lil man will recognize though. He's only 3 so maybe he won't remember, shouldn't come to that though.
feels bad.
thanks.

Real ninja tears. Sorry to hear that, fam.

Hope little man gets another person like you in his life.
 
 I just don't understand how you just flip a switch and its off like that. Maybe it wasn't on and she was phony from the word go.
That feel :\ I know it.

That thought crosses my mind often and whenever it does it just opens up another level of dragon rage.


Yeah I still get my crazy-ex moments here and there. No point though if she doesn't have those too.
 
Graduated from college yesterday and although I don't like the idea of not knowing whats going to happen next since I don't have a job I am still at a very happy and peaceful place in life. I still get a little nervous knowing that I have to start paying loans back in 6 months and I really don't want to spend 5+ years to do so but my part-time job isn't cutting it :lol: I start a internship next week and I hope I gain a lot from the experience to hopefully land a great job this Fall. I take pride in grinding and working hard so not having a good job yet while others that don't appreciate working hard do really bothers me. Everyone keeps telling me to just enjoy the moment and my accomplishments thus far but it's really hard for me to not think about my next move. I guess it's a gift and a curse :lol:
 
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Same. No job but I have to start paying loans back soon. Looks like I will end up defaulting. I took my 6 months a while back. I dont have a job now so its not like they are going to get it from me.
 
I've self diagnosed myself wrong for the most part of 2013 Any minor occurrences on my body like skin irritation from exercise I freak out.   ... I constantly think I have an STD even though I get tested and have no symptoms. I thought I had HIV and was depressed until I tested negative. My latest fear is Syphilis even though I've been test recently. I had protected sex a few weeks ago and constantly worried I have the disease. Even though it's WELL past the amount of time it takes for symptoms to show.

It's unhealthy and mentally debilitating I actually went to bed at an decent hour tonight and when my girl climbed into bed I went to the bathroom and saw a pimple on my chest. I examined it for about 20 mins then Googled symptoms and pictures of Syphilis for about 2 hours now. I get obsessive and overwhelmed to the point of tears.

My last STD test I actually cried tears of joy ...it's not limited to HIV and STD's, I constantly fear a heart attack or airborne sickness from the subway as well. 

I was prescribed anxiety meds to reduce serotonin levels but I won't take them I don't want to be a pill poppin' med junkie. I already learned to control my diabetes in under 2 months  because I didn't want to continue to take pills. I want to get over this fear.

Abstinence or monogamy truly might be the only way to cure my phobia. Deep down I think it maybe guilt from my wrong doing and I believe there should be a punishment more severe than the guilt itself.
You may have mercer skin disease. you may want to ask your doctor about it it's highly contagious.
 
I love to cook, mostly seafood. 

When I cook lobster's I feel kinda bad for taking their lives, so I cut their bands off and let them live in the kitchen for an hour or so before they are killed. 

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I actually gave up searching to get my credentials up. Now I have my masters and I am taking 1 of 4 parts of the CPA exam at the end of this month. Then I will start searching again. Especially since I am going to Europe for a few weeks at that time anyway.
 
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Vids of boils being drained or w/e is interesting in a weird/gross way.....


I've never had a boil though...:lol:
 
- i like guys with full eyebrows. rawrr.
- i also have a thing for hispanic dudes now.... :nerd: i got dat brown feverrr.
- i sometimes still think of my ex... sometimes i miss him and can't control my ovaries, but i can't believe i let him treat me the way that he did. it sucks that we have a bunch of mutual friends from high school, so it's kinda inevitable that i still see his face on instagram or facebook :smh:. i'm scared of how i might react if i ever bump into him again...
 
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