Confessions

[relentless]

Thanks man
I knew I was in trouble because she's 5'2
An accountant
Mixed with filipino/white/Chinese
Got a little phatty
And when I met her she was wearing a stussy tshirt, tights and roshe runs( total beast mode)
Brethren if you just looking to talk to girls I swear trader joes, sprouts, whole foods on a Friday/Saturday night it's no joke lol
Trying to keep it playa but after we stopped fooling around adventure time was on and she cuddled up to me and said she loves this cartoon(got damn weakness)
She got me but after my ex I know the flags to look for but it's been so long and to finally like a chick again...smh
Can't let her do it to me...ICE COLD(shout to andre3k) lol

Honestly fam, the moment you catch feelings for a chick is when it all comes crashing down. You can be the most charming cat in the world, making females laugh with small talk the first time you meet them, but that's precisely because you don't know a thing about them and they don't know a thing about you. Fact is you could never see them again in your life so there's no pressure in that situation, no efffff's to be given.

But say you single one out and get a good rapport going with her, the same way you appear to have done so with this girl. Then you start catching feelings, then suddenly it's not all about smashing, then you actually want to be with this girl (no simping whatsoever). That throws everything out the window - your game, your skills, your attempts to play it cool and whatever else. That she's able to help you put your ex in the past just compounds things because let's be honest: you're never truly over someone until you find the next object of your affection.

All this to say I've been there (if it sounds like I'm speaking from experience it's because you're damn right I am lol), and even though your rational mind knows what you should do, your emotions have a funny way of making you do the complete opposite...

 

[zapatohead408]

I'm graduating High School in a little more than a month. Attending a two year community. Everybody thinks I'm transfering to a CSU, but I really don't think I want to do that.

 

[retro23j]

I'm at a place where I'm questioning a lot of things and thinking very hard about what's been going on in my life.

I hate this because I've always been so optimistic, full of hope even when things look bad. But right now? I dunno, and everything is starting to stress me out.

...and I honestly wish I'd never met that girl....I think she was the straw that broke my back(no homo) from everything else that I was stressing.

And I'm tired of complaining and venting about the same things to people. Somethings gotta give. I feel like something extraordinary is on it's way to me but this process....man....and I don't want to do anything to mess it up...so...right now I just want to go about my day suffering in silence, get home, go to the gym, and then rest up to repeat the next day. I'm too emotionally unstable to be in public.

 

[D.Josey]

Trying to grow up so fast in highschool. I'm only a sophomore so it's not the end of the world I just wish I didn't rush things. I'm also trying to change my reputation.

This is kind of funny to me, but none of this is going to matter in two or three years. it's hard to see the bigger picture when you're on the inside, but it's true. I've seen it firsthand, when you leave high school and go to college, you can literally be anybody you want to be Just wait and watch these guys who were lame and pulled no yambs enter their first year in college like they're the big man on campus Some are successful, but most aren't.

 

[dat dude chris]

Just trying to keep my sanity at my current job.

I've been going off on some people lately co-workers and customers..putting them in check when they're rude.

Not letting that **** slide anymore. IDC though, you have to kill somebody to get fired from there.

liquor

 

[Mark Antony]

Thanks man
I knew I was in trouble because she's 5'2
An accountant
Mixed with filipino/white/Chinese
Got a little phatty
And when I met her she was wearing a stussy tshirt, tights and roshe runs( total beast mode)
Brethren if you just looking to talk to girls I swear trader joes, sprouts, whole foods on a Friday/Saturday night it's no joke lol
Trying to keep it playa but after we stopped fooling around adventure time was on and she cuddled up to me and said she loves this cartoon(got damn weakness)
She got me but after my ex I know the flags to look for but it's been so long and to finally like a chick again...smh
Can't let her do it to me...ICE COLD(shout to andre3k) lol

Honestly fam, the moment you catch feelings for a chick is when it all comes crashing down. You can be the most charming cat in the world, making females laugh with small talk the first time you meet them, but that's precisely because you don't know a thing about them and they don't know a thing about you. Fact is you could never see them again in your life so there's no pressure in that situation, no efffff's to be given.

But say you single one out and get a good rapport going with her, the same way you appear to have done so with this girl. Then you start catching feelings, then suddenly it's not all about smashing, then you actually want to be with this girl (no simping whatsoever). That throws everything out the window - your game, your skills, your attempts to play it cool and whatever else. That she's able to help you put your ex in the past just compounds things because let's be honest: you're never truly over someone until you find the next object of your affection.

All this to say I've been there (if it sounds like I'm speaking from experience it's because you're damn right I am lol), and even though your rational mind knows what you should do, your emotions have a funny way of making you do the complete opposite...

A+ for being in my head.

 

[killa07]

Honestly fam, the moment you catch feelings for a chick is when it all comes crashing down. You can be the most charming cat in the world, making females laugh with small talk the first time you meet them, but that's precisely because you don't know a thing about them and they don't know a thing about you. Fact is you could never see them again in your life so there's no pressure in that situation, no efffff's to be given.

But say you single one out and get a good rapport going with her, the same way you appear to have done so with this girl. Then you start catching feelings, then suddenly it's not all about smashing, then you actually want to be with this girl (no simping whatsoever). That throws everything out the window - your game, your skills, your attempts to play it cool and whatever else. That she's able to help you put your ex in the past just compounds things because let's be honest: you're never truly over someone until you find the next object of your affection.

All this to say I've been there (if it sounds like I'm speaking from experience it's because you're damn right I am lol), and even though your rational mind knows what you should do, your emotions have a funny way of making you do the complete opposite...

So I called in this morning to work and she hit me with a text...blah,blah...told her I was Ill and she pops up over the crib like an hour later talmbout " go lay down, I am taking care of you"...little momma started putting in work in the kitchen and fed me.... After that we started talking and she layed everything out there and told me about " the ex" but you know there is three sides to every story,
She says she is feeling me too but wants to take it slow which is cool but this is were it gets tricky, I say thanks for playing hooky today and kissed her on the chick and before you know it , ish got real and I swear out of all the sex partners I have had, this girl put that good good on me and now I know I am hook smh
Uck it, I hate this saying but YOLO, she can't hurt me anymore then my ex( and that one was a natural disaster)
Feels good to be layed up to someone( as I type this) lol

 

[relentless]

So I called in this morning to work and she hit me with a text...blah,blah...told her I was Ill and she pops up over the crib like an hour later talmbout " go lay down, I am taking care of you"...little momma started putting in work in the kitchen and fed me.... After that we started talking and she layed everything out there and told me about " the ex" but you know there is three sides to every story,
She says she is feeling me too but wants to take it slow which is cool but this is were it gets tricky, I say thanks for playing hooky today and kissed her on the chick and before you know it , ish got real and I swear out of all the sex partners I have had, this girl put that good good on me and now I know I am hook smh
Uck it, I hate this saying but YOLO, she can't hurt me anymore then my ex( and that one was a natural disaster)
Feels good to be layed up to someone( as I type this) lol

My home hittin' up NT with the real time updates lol

Not trying to be a buzzkill here but I did have two pieces of (admittedly unsolicited) advice for you:

1. Be careful about giving the sex too much weight, either consciously or unconsciously. I was with a chick that I knew was bad news for me, but I couldn't break off because being with her was like sexual napalm, word to John Mayer / Jessica Simpson; in the long run I just did myself more harm than good by staying around longer than I should have for the wrong reasons. Sex can be tricky because now instead of your mind just fighting with your emotions it's also fighting with your carnal desires... we talkin' triple-threat match, falls count anywhere, first pin-fall / submission wins here.

2. Hurt is relative, and you can't really compare two scenarios alongside each other in an apples-to-apples way because the situations were different, the circumstances were different, the people involved were different. Not saying this time is going to blow up in your face - for all we know, this could be the one that works out for you - but I would just caution against taking on that "Effff it, I been messed up bad before, it can't get any worse than that one time..." mentality. The moment you start thinking that, God / fate / the powers that be / cosmic karma has a funny way of proving you wrong.

All that said, glad things took a turn for the positive with you, fam. Good luck.

 

[bluexsneakerhead]

The worst thing you can do is to not be yourself. Eventually that side of you will come out because you are going to get tired of pretending to be what you are not. Doing this only delays the inevitable if it's not meant to be, so why waste your time? Text him, but don't go nuts. Being in a relationship where you have to constantly guess what to do/say next is not a relationship. It's a waste of time. If he doesn't like you for who you are, then on to the next.

thanks, I'll keep that in mind & follow your advice. I genuinely feel bad for being this self-conscious because I don't want him to pay for my abusive ex boyfriend's mistakes. I'm sure this is an opportunity for me to finally put my ex in his place aka the past.

I feel like I'm simpin hard since I'm on that cater to you status. Especially since he injured his leg the other day.

 

[killa07]

@relentless
Thanks for the advice my dude...trust me since meeting her, I have done alot of thinking but I have been on the sidelines of life for so long(shout to j.cole) I just want to take a chance...I mean everything is always lovely in the beginning but I can't explain why I want to take a chance with her...I mean she even had to leave to pick her little sis up from school( that maternal instinct I have been looking for) plus its hard in these streets with these females and to meet someone with potential you kinda just have to say yolo and deal with the consequences in the end
On the hurt thing, real spit I can never be hurt by another female in my life like my ex fiancé did( just my experience) because even though hurt is definately relative, the pain she inflicted is a reminder to know when to leave and let sleeping dogs lay( that was the hardest lesson I have learned ever in life)
But she's a good chick, we had a good talk before she had to go, sorry for real time updates,lol, don't have too many homies I can just hit up and actually get objective advice from. They always on some smash and dash ish
But all in all if this fails, I can honestly say I was happy for once and not angry
And I finally met a chick that turned me out lol( never thought that could happen
No regrets=nothing ventured, nothing gained

 

[relentless]

@relentless
Thanks for the advice my dude...trust me since meeting her, I have done alot of thinking but I have been on the sidelines of life for so long(shout to j.cole) I just want to take a chance...I mean everything is always lovely in the beginning but I can't explain why I want to take a chance with her...I mean she even had to leave to pick her little sis up from school( that maternal instinct I have been looking for) plus its hard in these streets with these females and to meet someone with potential you kinda just have to say yolo and deal with the consequences in the end
On the hurt thing, real spit I can never be hurt by another female in my life like my ex fiancé did( just my experience) because even though hurt is definately relative, the pain she inflicted is a reminder to know when to leave and let sleeping dogs lay( that was the hardest lesson I have learned ever in life)
But she's a good chick, we had a good talk before she had to go, sorry for real time updates,lol, don't have too many homies I can just hit up and actually get objective advice from. They always on some smash and dash ish
But all in all if this fails, I can honestly say I was happy for once and not angry
And I finally met a chick that turned me out lol( never thought that could happen
No regrets=nothing ventured, nothing gained

Anytime, fam. Bottom line is if you meet someone that means enough to you to make you want to take that chance, then the worst mistake you can do is NOT take it. So I'm glad you met someone in her. Just do what makes you happy, bro - that's all there is to it.

Hope it all works out.

 

[beh235]

The worst thing you can do is to not be yourself. Eventually that side of you will come out because you are going to get tired of pretending to be what you are not. Doing this only delays the inevitable if it's not meant to be, so why waste your time? Text him, but don't go nuts. Being in a relationship where you have to constantly guess what to do/say next is not a relationship. It's a waste of time. If he doesn't like you for who you are, then on to the next.

thanks, I'll keep that in mind & follow your advice. I genuinely feel bad for being this self-conscious because I don't want him to pay for my abusive ex boyfriend's mistakes. I'm sure this is an opportunity for me to finally put my ex in his place aka the past.

I feel like I'm simpin hard since I'm on that cater to you status. Especially since he injured his leg the other day.

The past is just that. The past. Don't let a bad experience ruin what's in front of you. I know it sounds cliche and corny, but think about it, if we kept that mentality all the time, we'd never have any success in life on any level. You can show concern if he's hurt, don't be a simp

 

[beh235]

I like girls with big foreheads. Sue me...

 

[bluexsneakerhead]

The past is just that. The past. Don't let a bad experience ruin what's in front of you. I know it sounds cliche and corny, but think about it, if we kept that mentality all the time, we'd never have any success in life on any level. You can show concern if he's hurt, don't be a simp

True, true. I'm just so used to being the ride or die, super devoted girl. I guess taking things day by day is the best way to go.

 

[beh235]

The past is just that. The past. Don't let a bad experience ruin what's in front of you. I know it sounds cliche and corny, but think about it, if we kept that mentality all the time, we'd never have any success in life on any level. You can show concern if he's hurt, don't be a simp

True, true. I'm just so used to being the ride or die, super devoted girl. I guess taking things day by day is the best way to go.

Yes please . You're still young, but you live, you learn

 

[unsuited]

it really is heartwarming to see people helping others with words/experiences in here.

sue me if that's corny 

 

[bluexsneakerhead]

Yes please . You're still young, but you live, you learn

ohhh yeah. i'm definitely learning the hard way.

 

[beh235]

it really is heartwarming to see people helping others with words/experiences in here.

sue me if that's corny 

It's not.

Yes please . You're still young, but you live, you learn

ohhh yeah. i'm definitely learning the hard way.

Easy


I'm 31, and I'm still afraid of the dark

 

[beh235]

 

[bruce negro]

C'est la vie has been my saying lately, along with the two in my sig. I've been spending my days building myself up in multiple ways. During the entire day I work on eating healthy. Not dieting, for that would kill my already malnourished body, but making sure that when I'm gaining weight back, it's the right kind. My mental state has been getting its share of love as well. I spend my time thinking, in a healthy manner. Giving myself cognitive and psychoanalytical therapy, which is odd when you diagnose yourself. I guess it would be patient centered therapy if I'm talking to myself. Either way, I'm inching towards a better mental state as every day passes by. Lastly, my physical state. Seeing I am malnourished from when I was in my worst phase, I need to regain A LOT of muscle mass, I have shrunk quite a bit. I've been working out for an hour when I wake up, and before I sleep. I've noticed a change and I am set on continuing.

I wrote a 3 page paper to myself about my new theories on why the body functions. In simple terms, motivation and it's effect on life. I don't agree with Maslow. That's for another conversation. I'm losing touch with myself. I was once against drugs, but I didn't give a damn about legalization or anything. I was just not a drug user. Now, if there is some weed, I'm down. I tell myself no, and most of the time I can still walk away, but it's not as well as I want it. I need to kick it, as we speak I am kicking it. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.

I have a lot of dreams and aspirations, but I fail to follow through with them. I can only blame myself, but I don't want to. So I spend my time doing relaxing, time wasting activities. Like golf, running, trail walking, and NT. Though I shouldn't be running, my chest tightens up whenever I go, and I lack the ability to draw breath. I hate having a bad heart, so I disregard these feelings as a cramp and keep running until it is stopping me from advancing. When I can't move anymore, I have the biggest feeling of hatred for myself on earth. I feel weak and unfit.

My age is odd. I am young, but I don't think like the rest. Whatever "the rest" is. I think with morals and more times like the average 45 year old, than the average 18 year old. I don't talk to people in my age group unless its a female, or they are on my level of thinking. I mostly walk around with headphones on my head and avoid everyone. I talk with the older people I know. Whom are usually 40-91 years old.


Rant is getting long. Must end here.

/rant.

You don't think differently from all of the rest, it's just that those who think like you are also avoiding others their age, including yourself.

With what type of people are you surrounding yourself? I'm 20 now, but I remember in high school I hung out with the stereotypical "black group" at my school for the first couple of years, just because it seemed like my default group. Around junior year, I started chilling with some very open-minded, intelligent individuals. My two best friends go to Northwestern and Princeton. Surrounding myself with these sorts of driven individuals really put a lot of possibilities into perspective for me. Not only was I inspired, but I had people to speak with about issues outside of schoolwork and television. One of my best friends also put me on to bboying, which introduced me to an entirely different culture, where I met a brand new type of person and developed even more perspective. After he and I sessioned, we often spoke about things like quantum string theory, the scale of the universe, different perspectives on social issues, why Jadakiss is as hard as it gets, etc. I really credit many of those conversations as being part of the building blocks of who I am today; not listening to a father/mother figure to learn what I should be, but really finding my own answers along with my friends.

Take a look around at the people with whom you're hanging out. True friends push you to be the best person you can be and they don't only help you reach your goals, but they help you set them as well. You seem very bright, and I feel that much of your frustration and aimlessness is due to not being around people your age who are stimulating you mentally.

 

[unsuited]

Take a look around at the people with whom you're hanging out. True friends push you to be the best person you can be and they don't only help you reach your goals, but they help you set them as well. You seem very bright, and I feel that much of your frustration and aimlessness is due to not being around people your age who are stimulating you mentally.

seems like true friends are hard to come by

anybody else terrified of roller coasters. 

would present to an audience of 5000 before I get on one. and I hate/fear giving presentations.

@beh235, there are days I am afraid of the dark. Only certain days though. 

It's ok though lol

 

[paliplaya2010]

I cheated on my current with my ex. My current is the sweetest girl ever and will do anything for me but I'm more attracted to my ex for some reason. I don't feel as bad about it as I should. Am I evil?

 

[thestranger]

 

[crystalmethod]

I cheated on my current with my ex. My current is the sweetest girl ever and will do anything for me but I'm more attracted to my ex for some reason. I don't feel as bad about it as I should. Am I evil?

Not necessarily.. But.. If your gana cheat on her.. You might as well just leave her.. That way u can do w/e u want.. And you won't be playing her..dosent seem like she deserves it

 

[beh235]

@unsuited, you're afraid of roller coasters? They're awesome as hell