Confessions

[club]

Man on the real I hate guys like you.... Because u might really be feeling a chick, things are going good and all you have to do is call her and say you'll do better and she bounces....I learned that lesson the hard way
No I don't love these h*es lol
Edit: don't hate pepper but the og poster

i wouldnt feel too bad.

this guy has herpes and admitted he couldnt please his woman.

not exactly a winner 

 CALL ME LMP GO FOR IT! im waiting

 

[al audi]

I seriously have the urge to catch a body! Not anybody specific either just anybody that pisses me off, I seriously want to become a cold blooded murderer and maybe sell some drugs. I'm tired of living in the hood, I'm tired of being broke, I'm tired of having this pint up rage to do harm to people, I'm tired of being quiet and N's not knowing how I can really get down if I let my temper loose and just say fuk it! I have this deep seated urge to just become this savage criminal and not give a damn no more but I know it will ruin my life and I'll end up like my father. The only other thing stopping me is that I'm 19 years old and I feel like if I haven't gotten into that life by now then I shouldn't at all since I'm old enough to know better. I can't help this disgusting urge though and I feel like I have a beast inside of me. You people are the only ones I have told of this, I need help, almost teared up while writing this. Dead srs 

Are you in school or work?

 

[geministar]

Are you in school or work?

Neither but I'm looking for work and getting my GED.

 

[al audi]

Neither but I'm looking for work and getting my GED.

That is part of the reason. Thats why I asked, youre not even a bad person. Youre only 19 man, dont become no stat or stereotype. This is a good first step.

 

[geministar]

That is part of the reason. Thats why I asked, youre not even a bad person. Youre only 19 man, dont become no stat or stereotype. This is a good first step.

Turning 20 at the end of May tho

 

[geministar]

I'm really calm and collective on the outside, but on the inside I'm uneasy and full of hatred.

THIS! 

- I'm the last born and both of my older brothers didn't finish HS. I ended up dropping out too and feel like I didn't do what I was supposed to for my mom and I was her last hope. My mom never got to see any of her kids graduate HS and never got to have the motherly experience of buying a HS cap and gown, sitting in a auditorium full of people and watching her child make a speech and I know that bothers her so it bothers me cause I was her last chance to see that. I dropped the ball. 

 

[bravo]

^^ not finishing school isnt the end of the world... you seem like a smart dude, hit up a library and educate yourself... hang out with smarter people that challenge you. don't let the negative vibes bring you down, success will be so much sweeter for you than folks who have not experienced struggle.. good luck to you mane.

 

[sir charles]

^^ not finishing school isnt the end of the world... you seem like a smart dude, hit up a library and educate yourself... hang out with smarter people that challenge you. don't let the negative vibes bring you down, success will be so much sweeter for you than folks who have not experienced struggle.. good luck to you mane.

I wish this was true.

A high school education is the minimum requirement for a good job, even with that only 10% of them are hired for the better jobs. A college education, even at community college is what these places are looking for.

 

[Mark Antony]

I'm doing pretty well on the outside...
...but inside it feels like Dr. Kevorkian is going HAM on my heart|I

I feel entirely lame as a grown *** man still feeling this way, **** should be under control. Karma I guess.

 

[sunshineblotters]

I fantasize about killing a few people. One of them should hope I never get rich enough to put a price on her head. Because it would be large enough for many to drop their values for a second.

The following is pretty much the only spoiled thing you will hear me say:

I hate my parents (figuratively not literally) for not putting ANY money aside for my college. Now I am $130 racks in debt and I havent even began my life. I am so far away from my goals I feel crippled. Friends my age who had at least a third of their school paid for by their parents are buying whips, cribs, moving to the city they want to live, and making moves out there when they start their jobs. I have been told to stay with my aunt and uncle for two years. I know I can knock out 75 grand from that debt (accounting jobs start at 52 for industry and 57 for public).

But then again I paid my way through everything else so why should they start now.

Whatever. I will be rich one day and have a kid or two. Their childhoods will be much better than mine, their schools will be half paid for and I will pay the interest on the other half, I won't have more kids than I on my own can afford. My baby mama(s) will not have to worry about paying for **** when it comes to the kids except for rent and bills if the kids live with her/them.

One mistake I will not repeat with my kid(s) as that they won't be overprotected and sheltered. (Prove to my mom I will not be as scared of the world as she is. That is just plain ******ed)

I will get through this without their help. Get that custom duplex condo in Manhattan that I have dreamed about.

 

[killa07]

Haven't been on a date in a year
Ish is depressing sometimes
Just don't trust these h*es
She is always on my mind
And I know we will never see each other again
Just been hurt by everybody and have these walls up and reading posts in here makes me want to change because my anger and self loathing is killing me and I walk the streets like a killer but inside I am gentle and just want that one good homeboy and that one chick I look at and if it is for a small time just feel something more then hate
So tired of the dumb anger ish

 

[sir charles]

So tired of the dumb anger ish

I know this all too well.

I have made it out of that "get mad at a pen dropping" stage, yet after I got the world dumped on my shoulders I'm right back at it. Just in a lesser form. I don't get as mad, but I get annoyed really easily. And when I do get mad, it's like they just dropped Czar Bomba.

Take some time out of the day,and go walking on some trails out in the woods. Or go to a park alone. Don't bring any music, or a phone, just you. Think about the things you do. Why do you get mad? You'll be surprised to see that in the end, you just think about things thst used to make you mad to fuel the new anger. Just to be angry for a few more minutes or hours. I can tell you know, it's all about the feeling. Once you realize that it is negative to both yourself and your peers, you should be able to tone it down and focus on the nicer things in life.

I swear the grass was just that much greener after walking the trails for a few hours a day. I had a lot of revalations at that time. I found out what I wanted to do with my life, I stopped my anger, and I organized my life up. Life was 1,000x easier.

It also helps to like Iron Man

I recently went back into the anger due to my lack of ability due to my heart. I should make an arc reactor,

 

[killa07]

I know this all too well.

I have made it out of that "get mad at a pen dropping" stage, yet after I got the world dumped on my shoulders I'm right back at it. Just in a lesser form. I don't get as mad, but I get annoyed really easily. And when I do get mad, it's like they just dropped Czar Bomba.

Take some time out of the day,and go walking on some trails out in the woods. Or go to a park alone. Don't bring any music, or a phone, just you. Think about the things you do. Why do you get mad? You'll be surprised to see that in the end, you just think about things thst used to make you mad to fuel the new anger. Just to be angry for a few more minutes or hours. I can tell you know, it's all about the feeling. Once you realize that it is negative to both yourself and your peers, you should be able to tone it down and focus on the nicer things in life.

I swear the grass was just that much greener after walking the trails for a few hours a day. I had a lot of revalations at that time. I found out what I wanted to do with my life, I stopped my anger, and I organized my life up. Life was 1,000x easier.

It also helps to like Iron Man

I recently went back into the anger due to my lack of ability due to my heart. I should make an arc reactor,

Just responded to that ironman quip lol
Yeah I know why I get mad because of my past(shout out to wolverine).... I am angry at myself and I project out and I daddy issues...smh...but the age I am starting to just feel like man what this life is all about, plus my job isn't what I want, hell I really don't even know what I want anymore but I know I want to just be happy and have peace of mind before I die....saw my ex on Facebook back in December and that sent me spiraling, she just looked so damn happy, ish eats me up because of circumstances(she asian) it just fell apart before it could materialize and just tired of being judge by my skin before I can even open my mouth to show who I really am and that ish gets to me alot but I have alot of friends from different backgrounds that think I am off the handle about these things but they never been in the type of situations I have been in so they can't relate so I am solo dolo most of the time....in all honesty just want to go somewhere and start fresh and just try something different, stagnant as uck and like I said just tired of being hurt and angry at myself....looking into therapy this week to learn how to forgive myself and just deal with emotions... Time for a bike and a motorcycle and just ride out like Logan>>>>>>ironman

 

[2Sky0waY6]

Haven't been on a date in a year
Ish is depressing sometimes
Just don't trust these h*es
She is always on my mind
And I know we will never see each other again
Just been hurt by everybody and have these walls up and reading posts in here makes me want to change because my anger and self loathing is killing me and I walk the streets like a killer but inside I am gentle and just want that one good homeboy and that one chick I look at and if it is for a small time just feel something more then hate
So tired of the dumb anger ish

THIS!! 

Havent been on a date since Decemeber but before that was almost two years. And yes can't really trust these broads mayn i tell you. The broad i was seeing at the time lived in Canada and im here in Seattle, would take flights out there everything month to see her. (she came down in August been going up there Sep-Dec.) Long story short, i kept seeing this guys text and call pop up on her phone and she would ignore them. Then i saw a text "why havent you call/text back are you alive?!?" then i knew right then and there, bit my tongue till i got back home, she told me he just a friend, word to Biz. Well any was we ended it and i saw a pic of her and him on ig and it crushed me. aint never trustin a h*e no mo.

We all had that one that got away, i know for a fact that ill never have a chance with her again and for some reason i still think about her and its been about 3 or 4 years. i guess it took a big toll on me and hard to get over with. I feel like my walls are just getting higher and higher, only because im afraid of getting hurt over and over. 

Life in general is just getting the best of me, i thought i had a good circle of friends but all they do is put each other down (me) to make them feel good about them selfs and im just tired of the non sense.i stop hanging out with them for a month now ignore there calls n text.

My cousins always calls to go hang out but we do is drunk drink and drink tell you cant walk every damn time! i tell them i don't want to, then all come down on me as if im the devil so i would take a shot just to make them happy. Then i would pretend to walk outside to make a call but i hop in my instead and go home. its like, why do we need to get **** face to have fun?!? why cant we just socialize over a few drinks rather then driving home playing roulette with cops. it was fun back in the day but now that im 26 its just getting old maybe im just fazing out of it fast then they are. now i just drink at home. been solo dolo since. it feels but i just need a new circle of friends.

Been wanting to go back to school for a while now, but these bills are stopping me from doing it and that right there just brings my whole life down its a never ending cycle even though i cut all my cc. dont wanna go out or anything. My life is full of never ending rants need to break out of this before i go crazy. 

 

[killa07]

^^^^man I guess I am not alone in this world, lol....yea when you really like/love a chick and you trust them fully and then to go out like that, just argghhhh....
Yea uck it I am 31 and going out to drink is just not my thing but the dude I do hangout with is a straight lush and I just hate the scene and dealing with dudes who get beer muscles, ish is just boring(and it doesn't help I live in a boring city now and known of the chicks I see I feel aren't even worthy of me talking to, lol) but I just want more and just scared of that hurt again and the only person that keeps me sane(my mom) I know I am breaking her heart because I am not getting help for the pain and I want her to see me happy before she dies and I do want to give her a grand kid... And I want to go back to school but I have these bills and just my past haunts me at night to the point I can't sleep and my ex that I really gave a ish about(man it's been seven years) and at one time I was just smashing then went on a draught for about five years(including this year) just feel so stupid to think about her and the possibilities just kills me
All I want is just to be happy and make my mom happy, and to let the walls down and just forget it all...
I just want to be positive but being in this "hurt"camouflage for so long makes it feel its my identity
Just tired of living this way, just existing sucks

 

[sunshineblotters]

It's not like you have to marry em. I am trying to get rich. There is NO excuse for me not to be making $150 by the time I am 35 and $250 by the time I am 45 and I would consider that FAILING. Not for me, but so I could get all the girls I never could before. There are two in mind that I will come back to illinois to **** if I get the chance to. I havent been on a date in almost 2 years because I can't get one. When I hear people say they don't go on dates because they dont trust a ***** it kills me on the inside. You guys are really taking it for granted. You have no obligation to marry them.

 

[killa07]

It's not like you have to marry em. I am trying to get rich. There is NO excuse for me not to be making $150 by the time I am 35 and $250 by the time I am 45 and I would consider that FAILING. Not for me, but so I could get all the girls I never could before. There are two in mind that I will come back to illinois to **** if I get the chance to. I havent been on a date in almost 2 years because I can't get one. When I hear people say they don't go on dates because they dont trust a ***** it kills me on the inside. You guys are really taking it for granted. You have no obligation to marry them.

It's not about marrying every chick and for me at least I don't worship dead green white men on paper, that's not my drive in life and its not my god... I make a great living but I want more out of life then just paper that burns and if you don't have old white man money, you never going to be about that life..generational money>>>>>>then anything you could ever make.But for me as you get older you want companionship and someone you can have a good convo with
I have smashed chicks and gone home
I have woke up in beds and be like wtf
Trust my dude that ain't the life and as you get older you want something deeper and most chicks now days are just as triflin as us
For me( I can only speak for self) I whether have a stable job that I love going to, a nice house, my dream car and a chick I can just trust and live a chill life with...all that other ish I could care less about, you can't buy experiences

 

[bluexsneakerhead]

i'm starting to develop a crush on one of my CAL classmates. i feel extremely awkward because it literally just popped out of nowhere, and i was in a relationship from my junior year of high school until my junior year of college. plus i'm scared of rejection. he's just such a nice guy, though. sigh. i'm not gonna hope on anything to happen.

 

[2Sky0waY6]

^^^^man I guess I am not alone in this world, lol....yea when you really like/love a chick and you trust them fully and then to go out like that, just argghhhh....
Yea uck it I am 31 and going out to drink is just not my thing but the dude I do hangout with is a straight lush and I just hate the scene and dealing with dudes who get beer muscles, ish is just boring(and it doesn't help I live in a boring city now and known of the chicks I see I feel aren't even worthy of me talking to, lol) but I just want more and just scared of that hurt again and the only person that keeps me sane(my mom) I know I am breaking her heart because I am not getting help for the pain and I want her to see me happy before she dies and I do want to give her a grand kid... And I want to go back to school but I have these bills and just my past haunts me at night to the point I can't sleep and my ex that I really gave a ish about(man it's been seven years) and at one time I was just smashing then went on a draught for about five years(including this year) just feel so stupid to think about her and the possibilities just kills me
All I want is just to be happy and make my mom happy, and to let the walls down and just forget it all...
I just want to be positive but being in this "hurt"camouflage for so long makes it feel its my identity
Just tired of living this way, just existing sucks

think i just read my future lol. yeah man i feel like the older i get the bubble turns into a shell that i cant crack out of cause the past haunt me also. and these obstacles life gives is just too hard to fight off, if its not one thing then it another thing.I want make new friends but just dont know how because i just keep to myself and i have the awkwardness feel whenever i do talk to people. i live in a decent city, born and raised, tired of living here feels like everyone knows everyone words gets around fast, just want to move out the city/country and start over again but then i could only go so far with my HS degree. my mom always tell me to find a girl to settle down with and have kids. I just wanna stay home and rote my life away and wish no one knew me. no matter how happy you wake up  theres one person that'll always bring you down and it just makes it worst. and your on point about being camouflage for so long making it feel like its your true identity. putting on a clown face everyday and go about the day happy and jolly to make sure no one knows about your inner pain and the stuff thats been dragging you down. life just sucks as a whole.

 

[airblaster503]

Tomorrow is my birthday. Tried to set up a dinner this coming evening for some of my friends to get some food and drinks. I struggled to come up with names of people I wanted to be there. In the end I had 13, so far I think there are 5 that can make it. A few have legit reasons, but the others just come up with some ********. Right now I am thinking about cancelling the whole thing and just going out with 2 of my good friends.

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

^
Happy birthday..

 

[al audi]

It's not about marrying every chick and for me at least I don't worship dead green white men on paper, that's not my drive in life and its not my god... I make a great living but I want more out of life then just paper that burns and if you don't have old white man money, you never going to be about that life..generational money>>>>>>then anything you could ever make.But for me as you get older you want companionship and someone you can have a good convo with
I have smashed chicks and gone home
I have woke up in beds and be like wtf
Trust my dude that ain't the life and as you get older you want something deeper and most chicks now days are just as triflin as us
For me( I can only speak for self) I whether have a stable job that I love going to, a nice house, my dream car and a chick I can just trust and live a chill life with...all that other ish I could care less about, you can't buy experiences

def true

 

[sn00pee]

I can't seem to get over my ex. She has already seemed to have moved on because she recently got married. But it burns me inside. Cuz I know she still loves me and I still love her. But I was too stupid and wanted space so I broke up with her. It hunts me everyday and I can't get into a serious relationship because of it.

I'm really attracted to a coworker but I'm afraid to tell her because I've already dated one of the girls that we've worked with and she's kinda friends with her. There has been rumors around the office that she likes me, but I'm not sure if they're true or not. She's like the perfect woman for me but i think i messed up by dating the one girl i though i liked from the job spot. She will soon get a divorce also... It's a serious problem that I don't know how to handle. We see each other everyday and often go out drinking together. We always say we have a sibling relationship but secretly I just dig her. I want to be with her, but I have no idea how to tell her.

 

[D.Josey]

Tomorrow is my birthday. Tried to set up a dinner this coming evening for some of my friends to get some food and drinks. I struggled to come up with names of people I wanted to be there. In the end I had 13, so far I think there are 5 that can make it. A few have legit reasons, but the others just come up with some ********. Right now I am thinking about cancelling the whole thing and just going out with 2 of my good friends.

Tomorrow is my birthday too

 

[space doodoo pistols]

My wife is due in a month, and while I put on a brave face for her, I'm scared as hell!

Not of being a Daddy- I'm way too excited for that, but scared for her because I'm hoping she'll have a good, and quick delivery.

I pray that nothing goes wrong and i can't tell her i'm thinking that way because I know she's scared too. This is our first child and we both don't know what to expect when she goes into labor.

We've taken classes and stuff, but that only goes so far...

This is the only thing i feel like i can't share with her (for obvious reasons- i don't want to scare her even more or put any more burden on her) and it sucks because we're both used to being able to lean on each other for support.....

it's harrowing, but your fears are normal. labor is pretty grueling, and can possibly last a good while... but once the kid is out, coast is generally clear. you gotta be a rock, bro.

congrats & i hope all goes well.