Confessions

I'm so angry and full of spite ... really for no reason 

I don't even think I  want to be happy ... smh

Kind of wish I could make it in life on my own without anyone
 
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Whenever I want to do something these days its always difficult to find someone whose keen. Seems like the friends ive had for 10+yrs are all happy doing there own thing or nothing at all in same cases. Im pretty chilled out now myself as well ill admit, but even small things like trying to go see a movie with someone often ends up not happening cos no one wants to go. Probaly need to find some friends younger then me as they always seem keen for stuff to do, but then again they all wanna go party all night, that's not me so that also dosent usually work out.. Getting old lol
 
Whenever I want to do something these days its always difficult to find someone whose keen. Seems like the friends ive had for 10+yrs are all happy doing there own thing or nothing at all in same cases. Im pretty chilled out now myself as well ill admit, but even small things like trying to go see a movie with someone often ends up not happening cos no one wants to go. Probaly need to find some friends younger then me as they always seem keen for stuff to do, but then again they all wanna go party all night, that's not me so that also dosent usually work out.. Getting old lol
Start doing things on your own fam
 
Start a new sales job tomorrow. I'll be doing the same thing just with a different pay structure.

Long story short, I left my last gig after 6 months because they were ************. The company owned two businesses in the building I worked in. The other company was across the hall. One morning I go to work and get into the elevator with this guy. We start talking and realize we are originally from the same area. Both from Louisiana, even though he was from Baton Rouge, but I used to live there while going to college. Fast forward about a month and we're talking again. Keep in mind at my job, dudes were pulling up in Bentleys, BMWs, Land Rovers, etc. Not one Bentley, but two in the lot, right?

No salt, but I'm like how much are dudes getting paid over there?

So me and dude start talking and he lets me in on a secret. Across the hall, these dudes are pulling down $10-$20K a month. :x Same company. And in my office, we're basically doing the same ****, but they were paying us WAY less. Bruh, I was already disgusted with the leads they were providing and how I was averaging 160 calls a day and selling 2, maybe 3 a day. Perfect timing, this dude who left the job hit me up a few weeks ago and tells me where he's at and wants me to come work there. After 3 weeks he sold 50 people. And not to take anything away from dude, but he wasn't strong at all. But this new spot is all inbound and pays 25% per sale WEEKLY. So he's averaging like 3 a day and taking home some nice paper.

After I put in my 1 day notice, I go in to pick up my last check and the owners were acting super shady. Come to find out they were asking people where I went. I told no one where I was going. Even the accountant asked twice and I said "to another sales job". Talked to a coworker and they bumped the pay the day after I left and offered her a job across the hall because they didn't want to lose her.

I'm still tripping on the fact that they were getting over on us, while these other dudes were caking like that. Dude across the hall also told me that once residuals kicked in, some of those dudes were gonna be making $40K a month. :{
 
Not gonna say. But you're not doing life wrong. I've been in sales since I was 18. Those opportunities are rare and not all sales jobs fit every personality.

Just be good at what you do and the money or opportunity will present itself.
 
Really been hating the place I live.
The neighbors suck.
The parking sucks.
Everything just sucks.
Been here for about 10 years.
I am just sooooo fed up with it already.
It's really starting to depress me
 
Really been hating the place I live.
The neighbors suck.
The parking sucks.
Everything just sucks.
Been here for about 10 years.
I am just sooooo fed up with it already.
It's really starting to depress me

Has it been like this for all the 10 years?
 
Been on a vagina drought haven't smashed in a month and half females want to marry just for the bread and not the love
Most of these women got there "personal preference" which in my eyes says your bias to a specific skin color tough in these streets
 
Start a new sales job tomorrow. I'll be doing the same thing just with a different pay structure.

Long story short, I left my last gig after 6 months because they were ************. The company owned two businesses in the building I worked in. The other company was across the hall. One morning I go to work and get into the elevator with this guy. We start talking and realize we are originally from the same area. Both from Louisiana, even though he was from Baton Rouge, but I used to live there while going to college. Fast forward about a month and we're talking again. Keep in mind at my job, dudes were pulling up in Bentleys, BMWs, Land Rovers, etc. Not one Bentley, but two in the lot, right?

No salt, but I'm like how much are dudes getting paid over there?

So me and dude start talking and he lets me in on a secret. Across the hall, these dudes are pulling down $10-$20K a month.
sick.gif
Same company. And in my office, we're basically doing the same ****, but they were paying us WAY less. Bruh, I was already disgusted with the leads they were providing and how I was averaging 160 calls a day and selling 2, maybe 3 a day. Perfect timing, this dude who left the job hit me up a few weeks ago and tells me where he's at and wants me to come work there. After 3 weeks he sold 50 people. And not to take anything away from dude, but he wasn't strong at all. But this new spot is all inbound and pays 25% per sale WEEKLY. So he's averaging like 3 a day and taking home some nice paper.

After I put in my 1 day notice, I go in to pick up my last check and the owners were acting super shady. Come to find out they were asking people where I went. I told no one where I was going. Even the accountant asked twice and I said "to another sales job". Talked to a coworker and they bumped the pay the day after I left and offered her a job across the hall because they didn't want to lose her.

I'm still tripping on the fact that they were getting over on us, while these other dudes were caking like that. Dude across the hall also told me that once residuals kicked in, some of those dudes were gonna be making $40K a month.
mean.gif
Well at least you helped your other co workers
 
Only time it seems that I'm not angry is when I'm with my girl. I have got to change that :{ Not a good look being an angry black man all the time. The gym, I can be angry in. That's what it's for. But at work, man.... Look. The demographic I deal with there are makes me have pure hatred towards a certain privileged race. Help!
 
Been on a vagina drought haven't smashed in a month and half females want to marry just for the bread and not the love
Most of these women got there "personal preference" which in my eyes says your bias to a specific skin color tough in these streets

Bruh that's nothing been without vag for longer times.... And no offense unless you're an older cat you shouldn't be looking to marry these chicks. Focus on you and adding to your arsenal, the females will come. Stop it with the beta mindset
 
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Only time it seems that I'm not angry is when I'm with my girl. I have got to change that :{ Not a good look being an angry black man all the time. The gym, I can be angry in. That's what it's for. But at work, man.... Look. The demographic I deal with there are makes me have pure hatred towards a certain privileged race. Help!

Sounds more like you don't love what you're doing
 
Educate yourself then work hard to benefit the future of the human race and appreciate your Nike's.
 
New job is what's up for real.

Way better atmosphere and the money is going to be life changing honestly. Best part is, on paper, I'm self employed. ;) :smokin The first call I took today (which I didn't get on the phone until after lunch) was a sale. I'm thankful to GOD. I feel like all the **** I put up with over the past few years was a test. After I closed my first deal I got pulled aside by one of the partners in the law firm and one of the higher dudes at the company and they told me that they have big plans for me, just keep doing what I'm doing. Called my Pops and told him the good news and his advice as someone who has had his paper right before, was don't change my spending habits. As a man who USED to have two businesses, real estate, and rental property then lost a lot of it, he said he wishes he had 50 cents of ever dollar he spent on custom suits, expensive shoes, Rolexes, etc. He's financially straight again, but he says he lives like he's broke. Felt good to know my Pops is back on his feet. He tried to give one of my brothers whose doing well the same advice and he didn't take it. Started living like a baller. I'm listening though.

Got home today and my gf made some bomb *** pasta with chicken sausage, spinach, mushrooms, garlic, onion and some kind of herby cheese. We ate. I jumped on the treadmill and then she gets a text from her cousin in LA who I'm cool with and is maybe a couple years older than me and in good shape. She had a stroke today at work. :{ |I

Getting to that age where I gotta start taking better care of myself. **** is crazy.
 
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Seems like life just happened so fast. I have these short down periods (couple of hours at the most) where I just feel empty and slightly depressed. Thing is I have nothing to be depressed about. I just think I need to enjoy myself. I graduate college in a month, and I started a full time job in January making like 40K and I hated it. Got another job a few weeks ago that pays like 20K more. And while im happy about this, a part of me just wishes I had a week to travel and get away from everything before I continued into the real world again, working everyday. To think that most people will work 40 or more hours a week til they are like 60 is crazy. I'm just gonna keep progressing though so I can retire super early. I'm only 22. I shouldn't even be thinking like this.

I have nothing to be down about but something is missing.
 
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I have a baby mama.
We have a 14 month of little girl.
I proceed to have sex with my ex before the baby mama.
The ex and baby mama despise each other.

I end up getting my ex pregnant.

Now one week before I turn 24 I have two BM's potentially [emoji]128529[/emoji]

The ex has told her family and friends.
I haven't told anyone but 3 close homeboys.
I might not tell my parents until she is 3 months.


I'm pretty sure they don't want to go through another roller coaster.
 
I have a baby mama.
We have a 14 month of little girl.
I proceed to have sex with my ex before the baby mama.
The ex and baby mama despise each other.

I end up getting my ex pregnant.

Now one week before I turn 24 I have two BM's potentially [emoji]128529[/emoji]

The ex has told her family and friends.
I haven't told anyone but 3 close homeboys.
I might not tell my parents until she is 3 months.


I'm pretty sure they don't want to go through another roller coaster.
Damn son

Dont eem know what to say
 
DRAMA.

Traps.

Won't end well playa. Sad to say. They're likely to team up against you man.

Stay strong and try to avoid the court at all costs. :{ Keep your eyes peeled and your head on a swivel.
 
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DRAMA.

Traps.

Won't end well playa. Sad to say. They're likely to team up against you man.

Stay strong and try to avoid the court at all costs. :{ Keep your eyes peeled and your head on a swivel.

Preciate it man.
It's a tough pill to swallow.
I put myself on child support for the first one about a year ago because it was either she was going to do it or I was.
now I'm just staying nice to the first BM. I'm pretty sure she'll be dramatic.
There's no way anything can be thrown in my face. We're both single, and we both don't care about what the other does. I just have to let her know that I hope she can make someone else happy and be happy in the future.

only thing I have working for me is I'm at a call center at an insurance agency and I just started working at GNC. School wise... I'm trying to finish my AA in computer support and get some certs in IT and look into certs for personal training and nutrition.
I feel like the most I can do is diversify my bonds.


Both BM's aren't ugly either.. It's just their attitudes that make them snobs [emoji]128532[/emoji]
 
I have a baby mama.
We have a 14 month of little girl.
I proceed to have sex with my ex before the baby mama.
The ex and baby mama despise each other.

I end up getting my ex pregnant.

Now one week before I turn 24 I have two BM's potentially [emoji]128529[/emoji]

The ex has told her family and friends.
I haven't told anyone but 3 close homeboys.
I might not tell my parents until she is 3 months.


I'm pretty sure they don't want to go through another roller coaster.
Good god :{
 
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