Confessions

[Bruce Banner]

some of you dudes being real right now, guess ill join


lately well the last two years ive got this huge fear that im just giving off that vibe like im doing it but behind close doors, i feel like im digging a hole for myself
at one point i was saving mad cash had about 25k saved up and now my moneys been dissapearing im down to half of what i once had saved, on top of that im
having a hard time staying focused in school, like im losing that drive to finish cc and get back and get into a career, im having major doubts that i can be a succes and just make it. just feeling like i was once on top and now im low as can be. maybe im just putting to much pressure on me and i have to stick to actually just wanting it not dreaming about it

having so much doubt about school too i dont have that drive i had my freshman year like i used to knock down 5-6 classes with ease now im slacking with 2 ... and i need to get out of CC by next year its a must man find that drive inside of you and make it work , itll be worth it in the long run .

 

[adobecs4]

"Mentally I feel enslaved by this weak economy. So I'm thinking about buying a piece and robbing everyone in front of me."

 

[soleking]

im druck right now.

feel like im only in collehe to play it it safe and make my moms happy.

fiending forsome yambs

never been with a girl i actually had feelings for

gaining back the weight i once lost

sad overall

 

[Nawzlew]

Some real heavy stuff here.

Wish nothing but the best.

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

Tired of 2013..can't wait for 2014..

 

[c money 88 05]

idk if this will end up being more of a confession or venting but whatever...
This weekend I was suppose to run in my first 26.2 mile marathon ever & my first vacation by myself, first break away from work/school in my post-HS life(2005) & my opportunity to finally get out this city/state & explore another very different area to see what the rest of the country has to offer. The snow in my city & in my traveling city however ended all of that last night.

It was upsetting to say the least, immediately it was all the preparation, passion & pain that I went through getting ready for this weekend; it was the blood, sweat & tears that went into making through some of those days & nights after going hard for 2-3 a day workouts for multiple days/weeks at a time; it was the will power & mental toughness I exercised day in & day out that started shaping everything around me, all leading up to this weekend where I'd test my physical & mental makeup more than I ever thought I would back in HS because I was too fat & out of shape to make it in a 1-mile test in under 14 minutes.

Then it became me wanting to prove it to myself that I could set a goal & see it through to completion & mastery, I feel I lack the killer element in finishing a task & have been working on my mental perception to change that. This was my chance to change that in a huge way & overcome that obstacle so I had the confidence going into 2014 to make it the year I know it will be.

Right now I'm still thinking about how I wanted to use this weekend to be alone & reorganize myself, reshape & fine-tune my life & put the finishing touches on the last pieces needing to be polished. I wanted to get away to see how other people/cities/states are because I would like to leave the area I live in now but I'm not sure what life would be like in an unfamiliar area by myself. This weekend was intended to be a simulation of what life could end up being like but now that's deferred as well.

I wanted this weekend to be meaningful personally & even now as I think about what to type I realize I've advanced so far just because of my attitude toward this weekend & that can't be lost in all my thinking. It kinda hurts right now having this huge buildup & having people tell me how they're proud of me, tell me how crazy I am, wish me the best, question why I'd even want to do it, want me to kill it in the run, want me to kill any idea about going, and just motivate me in general with their thoughts being forced to me as I try to earn this moment on my own. What doesn't hurt though is the fact I made it through all that to the point where I was ready to take it all on in stride, but now I have a void I have to fill & overcome.

This almost shapes up how 2013 was for me in a nutshell, I came into this year with so much promise & expectation, came in open to new thoughts & ideas & vowing to make every opportunity matter through the moments & memories I would create & leave behind. I tried to find my marking in multiple ways, whether it was taking a chance with the girl that was like my best friend, changing my focus away from shoes & to other things, pushing myself through this marathon, or other things as well. Each of the things I tried really shaped my perception in ways I never thought about before & I have ended up better for each experience but I really thought a lot of each moment I would overcome & be part of & wanted that triumphant victory to claim & didn't reach any of them the way it was intended. Feels like I imagine Kevin Durant has felt being a great player with plenty of individual success but never being able to get to the championship no matter how he's positioned himself thus far & having to realize he's young with plenty of opportunity left for the future still. That's exactly how I feel at the moment, I know my time can/will still come because I'm young enough & hungry enough for it, but why not now? Why not before? Everything was in place before & I was ready, why does it have to be this way?

Anyway, back to work I go, success doesn't come from reflecting on what could've been & the world doesn't stop coming at you. Thanks for the platform to share this.

 

[hybridsoldier23]

I just got finished running an unofficial work party at my place for about 40 people. Everyone who attended told me what a great time they had. Throughout the course of the night I saw everyone laughing, conversing, smiling, and just generally enjoying themselves. I spent the majority (90%) of the night behind my bar making drinks for people and grooving to the music I had going. I didn't drink at all but by the time the last person left passed out on my couch I felt really empty inside. I still feel empty inside about the whole event as I type this.

I know everyone had a great time but the problem is that I didn't have a great time. It wasn't anything or anyone did. I just really didn't enjoy myself and just have this vacant emotional hole about today. This has been my 4th year hosting a party like this. I don't think I'll be doing it next year. Maybe that's selfish of me, I'm not really sure...

On Friday I got some terrible news that a friend's 1 year old son had passed away from liver failure. It was one of those really sad, terrible moments where you just don't know what to do or say. I had spent some great times with the child and it really shook me up. It didn't help that earlier this week I found out that Beezylocks passed away.

I don't know if it's reminiscence of the deaths this week or if I'm just becoming terribly apathetic and lonely in general. Hopefully, I can make something happen in my life to infuse some joy back in it...

 

[serotonins]

this thread is too depressing

 

[respect it]

I have a crush on my GF's cousin. Started when us three went out to eat one night. Few months later messaged her on FB asking her if she wanted to hit the gym sometime. Word got out around her family that her mom had a problem with the whole gym situation because she was contemplating on wanting to meet up with me and that she told her moms I was cute and all this other BS. Then this past February, seen her again at a family wedding and near the end of the night I was $#!+ faced drunk and was all in her ear telling her to slide thru afterwards and she was down but I knew she was hesitant because her boyfriend was there. Few days later messaged her and apologized for being too close and touchy feely but she wasn't really sweating it and was a little bit with it.

Sometimes I think she finds reasons to come by just to see me.

I want to make a move but I ain't bout that Jerry Springer life. I throw subliminals at times just to catch her attention.

The boy is confused

 

[mangudai954]

I don't understand what you're confused about?

 

[respect it]

I don't understand what you're confused about?

To layeth the smack down on the P or not

 

[koudie from brooklyn]

To layeth the smack down on the P or not

You wanna do it, so your going to do it.. its just a matter of time.

.. Make sure its worth it.

- Stay Freshhhh

 

[Mark Antony]

I don't understand, do people get gf's/bf's just because? You know ya'll don't have to commit to someone like that if you don't want to, or care enough about them.

 

[heliumclinton]

I don't understand, do people get gf's/bf's just because? You know ya'll don't have to commit to someone like that if you don't want to, or care enough about them.

Why you judging?

 

[you go boy]

 

[Mark Antony]

No judgement, confessions thread should be a judgement free zone. I just don't see the point of locking in to a relationship if it's not what you want, just a thought. It's like dudes are too scared to be happily single.

 

[respect it]

No judgement, confessions thread should be a judgement free zone. I just don't see the point of locking in to a relationship if it's not what you want, just a thought. It's like dudes are too scared to be happily single.

I've came to the realization many, many years ago that I am a dog. No doubt about it. I love women... As simple as that. We're human and temptations will arise from time to time. I am guilty of harmless flirting and there's no need to deny it. But if it ever came down to it...

My next post might be in "The Grimiest thing you've ever done" thread

 

[njcollector]

I'm with a married woman and I don't want it to end... She just knows how to so stuff that other woman don't do, I saw a picture of her kid and husband.. I felt nothing.


I'm getting off on the feeling of her cheating on her husband. The other day she saw my eyes were red and she started to ask questions about it, I said what are you my mother? She's blowing me in back of her car and she says do I look like your mother now... I came.

Like I don't even know anymore, who says that and why do I like it...

Leaving for my dorm next month, I might make the drive back just for her, I just hope I don't fall for her

 

[donpoppa]

I have a crush on my GF's cousin. Started when us three went out to eat one night. Few months later messaged her on FB asking her if she wanted to hit the gym sometime. Word got out around her family that her mom had a problem with the whole gym situation because she was contemplating on wanting to meet up with me and that she told her moms I was cute and all this other BS. Then this past February, seen her again at a family wedding and near the end of the night I was $#!+ faced drunk and was all in her ear telling her to slide thru afterwards and she was down but I knew she was hesitant because her boyfriend was there. Few days later messaged her and apologized for being too close and touchy feely but she wasn't really sweating it and was a little bit with it.

Sometimes I think she finds reasons to come by just to see me.

I want to make a move but I ain't bout that Jerry Springer life. I throw subliminals at times just to catch her attention.

The boy is confused

you never send those type of messages on fb to your girls cousin. you do know he still has them right?

 

[Thierry Henry]

I have officially been single for 4 years now. During that timespan there were 2 girls I was talking to that I had genuine feelings for. Both of them ended up dogging me out at the end, since then I haven't been able to trust no woman. I've smashed a few hood rats that I'm ashamed to even mention, they were way below my standards but I was mad thirsty.

I want to wife my boy's ex with no damns given. She's a cute Filipina/Cuban who I can def see myself with for the long run. He didn't deserve her at all, he was unpredictable when on drugs.

 

[rare]

I'm with a married woman and I don't want it to end... She just knows how to so stuff that other woman don't do, I saw a picture of her kid and husband.. I felt nothing.


I'm getting off on the feeling of her cheating on her husband. The other day she saw my eyes were red and she started to ask questions about it, I said what are you my mother? She's blowing me in back of her car and she says do I look like your mother now... I came.

Like I don't even know anymore, who says that and why do I like it...

Leaving for my dorm next month, I might make the drive back just for her, I just hope I don't fall for her

 

[nicofinessin]

@ some of the funny stuff n here. Some of you guys soundin suspect and what not tho smh

 

[818shoe]

LOL..hhhhhahhaaaaaaaaaaahahhahah....dead

 

[peanut noir]

- Deleted all social media ( twitter, facebook, instagram) , no cell phone since june 2013.

- Trust is meaningless 

 

[champcruthik]

Play on Pinot Noir? If so, I like it.

I no longer enjoy beer or hard liquor. Strictly red wine.

I'll probably never love another woman after a past college ex.

Using women is not as fun or honorable as it seems.