Cherish the time with your father..

[debso]

my father wasn't %!%@. he took care of his other kids that he had, one of which while he was married to my mom, the other which he didn't tell my mother about until after their marriage ended.
which only ended because he would beat and choke her.
he didn't want me at all...wanted her to get an abortion. and they were married, lol. for two years before i was born.
didn't pay child support. didn't try to see me.
took US to court. sued me and my mother. me. yes, me.
my mother struggled to make ends meet while he rode around in his benzes taking care of other !##%!+% and their kids.
me, i had to wish i had a father til it just didn't matter to me anymore.
you can't miss what you never had. they divorced in 86.

i can't count on one hand how many things i've ever gotten from him and have fingers left. meanwhile he puts a stepchild through nyu.

so *%%* that **@!+.
he's just a random **@!+ to me. period.

the OP is lucky that he has a better father than a lot of us.

 

[cuffy]

I was just giving my pops the silent treatment, I'm about to go talk to him now

 

[dominikid]

Growing up without my biological father I've always promised myself that no matter what I would be there to see all of my kids accomplishments in life. A father-child relationship is something you only get one shot at.

 

[debso]

Originally Posted by Frank Mucus

Nah I'm good. Guy is a sociopath and lied to us numerous times and stole my money. He said he wish I wasn't his son and acts more like a father to #+%$#'s children so he can go die for all I care.

i can relate. my father tried to push me off a table i was sitting on by pushing my forehead when i was like 1 or 2.
my actual first memory is him dragging my mom on hillside av.
he used to call the house and call my mother all kinds of %@+%!#% and %%@!#! for leaving him.
he used to beat and choke my mom out with his combat boots (he was USMC).
he would go through the courts and serve us and have his brother come and take the mail before we could get it.
my mother found out about his other children through ME because my grandmother on that side told me i had brothers and sisters and i went back and told my mom. i was like 4 or 5 at that time. she eventually found out. she had found a pic way back when but i guess convinced herself that it wasn't true after my father said it was his friend or cousin's or some %!+$.

i don't have anything to say to him or his mother at all.

 

[debso]

Originally Posted by CosmicCanon

Originally Posted by jdiggs

That was beautiful my brother. Makes you think.. Thanks for sharing.

Yeah, I have a decent relationship with my father. However, it's sad that most people don't have good relationships w/ their, because of how their mother viewed their dads. Yes there are bad dads, but a good number of them actually make a effort, but are viewed bad because of the mother's influence. 

so then the father should prove that they are not what the mother is saying then.
the child only knows what they hear and see. you can hear one thing but if what you see supports what you hear then...
because its certainly not the child's fault.

IMO fathers gotta step up. lives are at stake, here.

 

[ballrn23]

Excellent post. I'm grateful that my dad is the kind of father I aspire to be. There is no way that I could ever re-pay my parents for what they have done for me.

 

[wohcttank]

I wish i was able to have my father around and in my life. He passed when i was 4, collapsed outside of my bedroom after he came to check on my sleeping. Itheres been a huge void in my life, even though my mom is the most amazing person in the world. There are so many things that i would give anything in the world for to be able experience things with him, especially my wedding day next year.

 

[cosmiccanon]

Originally Posted by debs 168

Originally Posted by CosmicCanon

Originally Posted by jdiggs

That was beautiful my brother. Makes you think.. Thanks for sharing.

Yeah, I have a decent relationship with my father. However, it's sad that most people don't have good relationships w/ their, because of how their mother viewed their dads. Yes there are bad dads, but a good number of them actually make a effort, but are viewed bad because of the mother's influence. 

so then the father should prove that they are not what the mother is saying then.
the child only knows what they hear and see. you can hear one thing but if what you see supports what you hear then...
because its certainly not the child's fault.

IMO fathers gotta step up. lives are at stake, here.

But what if the fathers do that though, fight to see their child/s(court system) and does pay CS or gives their kids clothing/neccesities? No He-Man Women Haters(love my mom), but let's not act like a mother saying your father "ain't shh" doesn't have an effect on the child, EVEN IF the father is making an effect. Which happens often btw. I forgot though, all fathers are dirtbags, just because of a few bad apples this applies to all dads. 

 

[debso]

a lot of fathers don't. i can't relate to what you're saying and don't know anybody in that type of situation although it sounds like something that could easily happen.
everyone that i know of that has a deadbeat dad has one that didn't want to be there.

 

[witnessmycalm21]

Man...
Im almost in the same situation with my dad... Except hes still here . But i know how you & others in this thread feel.. Your making me open think about it now though 

I most likely am taking it for granted ... 

 

[Grine]

I forgive but don't forget...

 

[nesto0o0o]

OP, you know the situation we were in and let me tell you from experience, you are one hundred percent correct. I learned a lot about myself when my dad died but it was too late. You can't turn back time and change anything. As you can tell from these posts it happenes all too often but keep your head up.

OP you know you got family right down the street. Holla

 

[solewoman]

im glad you came to that revelation. my father is my best friend and i honestly dont know what id do if i lost him. i had the same negative feelings about my mom up until about two years ago. I said i was moving away and she would never even know her grandkids. i came to a revelation after hearing a sermon in church and i talked to my mom and we havent looked back sense. you only have one mom and dad. if the relationship is salvageable...by all means please take advantage of it.

 

[papageorgeo510]

Damn, touchy subject bro.

 

[cwrite78]

what's with the negativity in this thread? if you dont have a great relationship with your father that you don't care to cherish, or try to work on fixing, why did you come in here?

 

[jordansairmaxes]

my dad and i were prank calling my mom yesterday lol. 

he was saying the corniest things. 

 

[cap29]

I love my Papi.

 

[debso]

since i'm pretty sure the following is aimed at me...

Originally Posted by CWrite78

what's with the negativity in this thread? if you dont have a great relationship with your father that you don't care to cherish, or try to work on fixing, why did you come in here?

did you read the OP? he said:

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

..So NT, please cherish the time you have with your fathers. If you're not close, get close. If you have problems, put your differences aside. And those of you who have good relationships with your dads, never take them for granted..

and me personally, i just expressed how i felt about what he said. however, there's no negativity on my part, otherwise i wouldn't have said:

Originally Posted by debs 168


the OP is lucky that he has a better father than a lot of us.

 

[letsgetit22]

The last time I seen my dad was 18 years ago. The last time I spoke to him was 13 years ago. I told him that I needed money for a school trip and he never called me again

@%$$ him

 

[jhobson5]

That was a nice read OP. My dad and I are best friends have been forever. I couldnt imagine not having that. I mean I was an only child, had lots of friends, and to this day I will always say my dad is my best friend. OP keep your head man!

 

[cwrite78]

Originally Posted by debs 168

since i'm pretty sure the following is aimed at me...

Originally Posted by CWrite78

what's
with the negativity in this thread? if you dont have a great
relationship with your father that you don't care to cherish, or try to
work on fixing, why did you come in here?

did you read the OP? he said:

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

..So
NT, please cherish the time you have with your fathers. If you're not
close, get close. If you have problems, put your differences aside. And
those of you who have good relationships with your dads, never take them
for granted..

and me personally, i just expressed how i felt about what he said. however, there's no negativity on my part, otherwise i wouldn't have said:

Originally Posted by debs 168



the OP is lucky that he has a better father than a lot of us.

not singling you out, im speaking in general.

like i said, if you don't care to take OP's advice on putting your differences aside (which, from reading the +$%% your father did to you and your mother, i do not blame you at all).. there was no need to come in here.

what im getting at is, this happens in 99.9% of the father appreciation posts. people go in and bad talk their father, when that is not the point of the thread. but then again, that happens in all appreciation threads. so forget i even said anything.

and for the record, i absolutely love my father. he's always been there for us, he's never let us go hungry and we've always had a roof over our head. i'd be happy if i grew up to be half the man he is.

 

[youngtriz]

i had no one to learn from but im working on being the best father i can for my 2 kids...

 

[freeze]

this thread is touching. thanks for making me remember to think about the important things. I need to reach out to my father..

 

[Trillmatic90]

Damn man, that must be tough. Hold on to the good memories of him and don't doubt his love for you (he's your pops after all so you know he does) and try to keep in touch with him if it's possible.

 

[feedtheego1982]

Good post OP.