Black Culture Discussion Thread

[deuce king]

Yes.



There are caveats to the two-parent structure that get overlooked too often whenever this topic comes up.. Nobody goes into marriage with the intent to sperate, but life happens, and nobody can predict with certainty how their partners are going to change. I have aunts who have left their husbands because:
- one was getting beat up all the time (her four kids still went to prestigious schools and work great jobs)
- another one's husband was barely contributing (this one ended up supporting her only child until she graduated from college debt-free)

So no, I disagree with this idea that if life forces someone towards single parenthood, it automatically means disaster.

I appreciate you putting your story out there as an example and it’s unfortunate that your aunt’s experienced that.

Personally i don’t buy the “life happens” excuse as it pertains to marriage because these days it’s simply too easy for folks to walk in and out of marriage. The vows say “till death due us part” for a reason. It’s not to be taken lightly. The term to use is…..marry BEFORE you carry and If you lay down with someone to create a life…….you should stay together to help raise that child. There are extreme situational cases that prevent that such as domestic violence and others.

 

[finessence]

The FATHER is and should be the male “influence” in the child’s life. It’s NOT another man or women’s job/responsibility to raise or “influence” a child that’s not theirs. Folks need to stop OUTSOURCING parenthood and parenthood responsibilities.

Knowing that someone is a “terrible parent” should be known from the get go if you actually get to know somebody. The signs are there, and you should utilize your family and friends to help you pick better.

If an adult “isn’t cut out to be a decent parent”……then they shouldn’t become a parent. No need to reward bad behavior.

I admired my uncle wayyyyyyyyy more than my father. My father was strictly a provider. Nothing more, nothing less.

My mother’s younger BROTHER (10 years my elder) was far more “cooler” and hands on, than my father.

It is what it is. There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. You straight up can’t dismiss an uncle or cousins impact. It’s just a natural fact

In a perfect world, your father should be the #1 influence, but we don’t live in a perfect world, do we?

A lot of men only know how to be PROVIDERS. Not nurturers, some just aren’t influential outside of that. Again, my father was around, but he had absolutely no influence on my upbringing. He did his part and provided financially.

Other than that, my older cousin and uncle took it upon THEMSELVES, to teach me a lot of things that my father just chose not to do. There’s nothing wrong with that.


To this day, me and my dad don’t get along, we are nothing alike, but he always gets credit for being there, monetarily. He just didn’t or doesn’t know how to be a father, outside of that.

You probably can’t even comprehend the fact that there are more men who are cut out to be providers, and nothing else. For some, that’s all they’re capable of being.

 

[Raji Lowenthal]

Y'all just like to argue "being a single parent can be more difficult than the nuclear family structure" = "being a single parent automatically means disaster" 0 to 100 real quick

 

[DCAllAfrican]

If you’ve got TWO terrible parents in the household, what’s the point?

I don't know why this made me laugh.

 

[finessence]

Y'all just like to argue "being a single parent can be more difficult than the nuclear family structure" = "being a single parent automatically means disaster" 0 to 100 real quick

This is NT, there’s no such thing as “middle ground” or tact in any discussion. Only extremes

 

[maq25060]

RIP

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Ignore the title of the video, host and guest if it bothers you that much.

The message is the message.

 

[tay1]

Rap is rape culture

 

[DCAllAfrican]

 

[Present]

Spoiler

 

[layziegunts]

Dr Umar is a sellout, he spent the whole campaign crapping on Kamala but when someone tried to press him about what Trump has been doing he wanna act like he dont know what politics is.

 

[tokes99]

I admired my uncle wayyyyyyyyy more than my father. My father was strictly a provider. Nothing more, nothing less.

My mother’s younger BROTHER (10 years my elder) was far more “cooler” and hands on, than my father.

It is what it is. There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. You straight up can’t dismiss an uncle or cousins impact. It’s just a natural fact

In a perfect world, your father should be the #1 influence, but we don’t live in a perfect world, do we?

A lot of men only know how to be PROVIDERS. Not nurturers, some just aren’t influential outside of that. Again, my father was around, but he had absolutely no influence on my upbringing. He did his part and provided financially.

Other than that, my older cousin and uncle took it upon THEMSELVES, to teach me a lot of things that my father just chose not to do. There’s nothing wrong with that.


To this day, me and my dad don’t get along, we are nothing alike, but he always gets credit for being there, monetarily. He just didn’t or doesn’t know how to be a father, outside of that.

You probably can’t even comprehend the fact that there are more men who are cut out to be providers, and nothing else. For some, that’s all they’re capable of being.

are you really saying that your father imparted nothing to your upbringing/worldview growing up outside of providing for the household? weren’t there any positive takeaways from him being ‘around’ as an example?? you note that y’all do not really get along but have y’all ever spoke on why and/or what y’all’s respective experiences were of each other? i would guess most men aren’t really ‘naturally’ cut to be ‘nurturers’ at least as i think most would understand it…but if most men are particularly socialized and/or incentivized to be; it might be true that many men don’t know how to ‘be’ more than the stoic authoritarian provider or otherwise ‘limited’ as far connecting emotionally.

would it be semantics to substitute ‘allowed’ and/or ‘expected’ for capable? on the other end of the equation is that, while there are unfortunate exceptions, for the most part these times women choose the men that reproduce; and while i don’t necessarily think ‘provider’ men are preferred en masse by women (despite all their clamoring about it) that mentality is the most obvious route to access to optionality w/women

Spoiler

i don’t know how true this still is or will be in the future but i remember reading that while it is true that children of african (all of the diaspora included) immigrants tend to do better, those ‘gains’ are quickly lost by the subsequent generation…so for whatever folk think it is worth the difference is not lasting

 

[Present]

i don’t know how true this still is or will be in the future but i remember reading that while it is true that children of african (all of the diaspora included) immigrants tend to do better, those ‘gains’ are quickly lost by the subsequent generation…so for whatever folk think it is worth the difference is lasting

Imagine someone leaving their dirty, run-down house to knock on your door, asking to rent a room, then turn around, suck their teeth, & give you cleaning tips.

 

[Present]

Dr Umar is a sellout, he spent the whole campaign crapping on Kamala but when someone tried to press him about what Trump has been doing he wanna act like he dont know what politics is.

The Prince of Pan Handling

 

[tay1]

Dr Umar is a sellout, he spent the whole campaign crapping on Kamala but when someone tried to press him about what Trump has been doing he wanna act like he dont know what politics is.

He and Tariq I'm sure are being paid by the right.

 

[tr1ll]

i don’t know how true this still is or will be in the future but i remember reading that while it is true that children of african (all of the diaspora included) immigrants tend to do better, those ‘gains’ are quickly lost by the subsequent generation…so for whatever folk think it is worth the difference is lasting

By then, they're just "black" and start falling into all the trappings of the Black American life.

 

[finessence]

are you really saying that your father imparted nothing to your upbringing/worldview growing up outside of providing for the household? weren’t there any positive takeaways from him being ‘around’ as an example?? you note that y’all do not really get along but have y’all ever spoke on why and/or what y’all’s respective experiences were of each other? i would guess most men aren’t really ‘naturally’ cut to be ‘nurturers’ at least as i think most would understand it…but if most men are particularly socialized and/or incentivized to be; it might be true that many men don’t know how to ‘be’ more than the stoic authoritarian provider or otherwise ‘limited’ as far connecting emotionally.

would it be semantics to substitute ‘allowed’ and/or ‘expected’ for capable? on the other end of the equation is that, while there are unfortunate exceptions, for the most part these times women choose the men that reproduce; and while i don’t necessarily think ‘provider’ men are preferred en masse by women (despite all their clamoring about it) that mentality is the most obvious route to access to optionality w/women

My father HATED the fact that I had long hair (braids, dreads, Afro) he HATED that my mother bought me a bunch of name brand shoes. Hated on me having earrings. I was never a troublemaker, made good grades, always excelled in school. Never was in the streets or disrespectful (moms ain’t play that).

I’ll never forget we were at Zaxby’s. An older lady came and sat beside me. Started flirting. He walks off from paying for the food, sits next to me and LEANS forward to tried to talk the woman, AFTER she literally chose up on me. He’s always been a ‘ockblocker like that though.

My uncle taught me about religion (He knew the Bible and Quran). Introduced me to a lot of music, fashion, etc. he just was a cooler dude. He was wayyyy more slicker than my dad when it came to women (my uncle had 10 kids). We worked on cars together, he just was always hands on.

Never went fishing my pops, never threw a football or basketball with him. My uncle took it upon himself to do that.

Again, all my pops knew how to be was a PROVIDER. That’s hard for you to understand…?

 

[layziegunts]

He and Tariq I'm sure are being paid by the right.

Tariq is DEFINATELY being paid, black people being divided only benefits white supremacy

 

[layziegunts]

Spoiler

Even though I don't agree with what the original woman was saying, big up all Black/African people but some of yall are sleep walking and wishing for the worst for others dont realize Trump and this administration wants the same thing for you too...

'Homegrowns are next': Trump hopes to deport and jail U.S. citizens abroad

Trump hopes to deport and imprison U.S. citizens abroad. Critics say the concept is unconstitutional and dangerous.

www.houstonpublicmedia.org

 

[finessence]

They gone have to deport themselves too in that case

 

[Present]

Even though I don't agree with what the original woman was saying, big up all Black/African people but some of yall are sleep walking and wishing for the worst for others dont realize Trump and this administration wants the same thing for you too...

'Homegrowns are next': Trump hopes to deport and jail U.S. citizens abroad

Trump hopes to deport and imprison U.S. citizens abroad. Critics say the concept is unconstitutional and dangerous.

www.houstonpublicmedia.org

...and Mexico is going to pay for it.

 

[HankHill]

My father HATED the fact that I had long hair (braids, dreads, Afro) he HATED that my mother bought me a bunch of name brand shoes. Hated on me having earrings. I was never a troublemaker, made good grades, always excelled in school. Never was in the streets or disrespectful (moms ain’t play that).

I’ll never forget we were at Zaxby’s. An older lady came and sat beside me. Started flirting. He walks off from paying for the food, sits next to me and LEANS forward to tried to talk the woman, AFTER she literally chose up on me. He’s always been a ‘ockblocker like that though.

My uncle taught me about religion (He knew the Bible and Quran). Introduced me to a lot of music, fashion, etc. he just was a cooler dude. He was wayyyy more slicker than my dad when it came to women (my uncle had 10 kids). We worked on cars together, he just was always hands on.

Never went fishing my pops, never threw a football or basketball with him. My uncle took it upon himself to do that.

Again, all my pops knew how to be was a PROVIDER. That’s hard for you to understand…?

I may have have missed this, but did you grow up in the same house as your dad? Or was this just shared custody/occasional visits?

 

[fluid hips]

Tariq is DEFINATELY being paid, black people being divided only benefits white supremacy

Shh always been wild to me seeing black folk fall for the okey doke

You got cats out here calling themselves FBA trying to piggy back off of white people calling themselves WASPs back in the day.

Following a white playbook that doesn't benefit you is goofy

 

[fluid hips]

Rap is rape culture

All rap?

 

[tay1]

All rap?

According to Charleston White