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- Sep 16, 2010
What's up everyone, hope all is well.
Well, let me get straight to the point, I found out from my psychologist that I was diagnosed with PTSD. It comes from childhood traumas. A lot of things really trigger it and I realize that it has affected my social life and dating life significantly. All these years I've never once thought I had PTSD and it's a lot to process. I can't lie, it's making me worried as far as acceptance or people from the outside looking in to understand. It's sort of messing me up a little inside because I really am trying to cope with it, but it is very difficult.
Being picked on a lot growing up:
It puts my mind on edge thinking that everyone is against me and the world. Lots of built up anger, which causes me to not really like people because I be thinking they don’t have the best interest at heart.(flashbacks to childhood)
My mother being verbally abusive growing up:
Which is why I don’t argue or yell at people, it puts me in a dark place when people yell at me and I don’t receive whatever message is being brought to me.(Again, flashback’s from childhood)
People not accepting me for me/people trying to alter my personality:
This is a trauma because I always get told that I’m not really good at anything, which causes me to have low self esteem and low confidence.(Unfortunately, to this day) This is what causes me to have issues with dating and socializing. As you know, I’m a homebody, but it stems from childhood. I feel like being at home is the safest place where I’m not constantly judged or looked at funny. This is also why I don’t like crowds all that much. With me being 6’4”, I stand out. So, when I walk in a room, I be thinking people are making fun of me or saying very harmful things about me. Therefore, I always take longer route to avoid it.
This is probably the biggest one..
Lastly, seeking validation from others about my image:
Growing up, my mom wasn’t really affectionate or rarely told us she loved us. So, as I got older, I always thought I didn’t look attractive. As we know, our parents are suppose to build us up at a young age to build ourselves up. In this case, it was the opposite for me. My mom never really told me I was handsome or try to build me up. It still sort of haunts me to this day. Not as bad as before, but it’s still there.
I just want to know if anyone has it, or knows someone that is diagnosed with it. How do you guys deal with it and cope with it? This is all new to me and i'm doing as much research on it. Despite feeling a little down, it is a little bit of weight lifted off my shoulders because it helps me understand why all these years I struggle with socializing and have high anxiety issues.
Mental health is nothing to ignore, but I just wanted to share this since it's been on my mind for a few weeks now. Sorry for the long posts.
Well, let me get straight to the point, I found out from my psychologist that I was diagnosed with PTSD. It comes from childhood traumas. A lot of things really trigger it and I realize that it has affected my social life and dating life significantly. All these years I've never once thought I had PTSD and it's a lot to process. I can't lie, it's making me worried as far as acceptance or people from the outside looking in to understand. It's sort of messing me up a little inside because I really am trying to cope with it, but it is very difficult.
Being picked on a lot growing up:
It puts my mind on edge thinking that everyone is against me and the world. Lots of built up anger, which causes me to not really like people because I be thinking they don’t have the best interest at heart.(flashbacks to childhood)
My mother being verbally abusive growing up:
Which is why I don’t argue or yell at people, it puts me in a dark place when people yell at me and I don’t receive whatever message is being brought to me.(Again, flashback’s from childhood)
People not accepting me for me/people trying to alter my personality:
This is a trauma because I always get told that I’m not really good at anything, which causes me to have low self esteem and low confidence.(Unfortunately, to this day) This is what causes me to have issues with dating and socializing. As you know, I’m a homebody, but it stems from childhood. I feel like being at home is the safest place where I’m not constantly judged or looked at funny. This is also why I don’t like crowds all that much. With me being 6’4”, I stand out. So, when I walk in a room, I be thinking people are making fun of me or saying very harmful things about me. Therefore, I always take longer route to avoid it.
This is probably the biggest one..
Lastly, seeking validation from others about my image:
Growing up, my mom wasn’t really affectionate or rarely told us she loved us. So, as I got older, I always thought I didn’t look attractive. As we know, our parents are suppose to build us up at a young age to build ourselves up. In this case, it was the opposite for me. My mom never really told me I was handsome or try to build me up. It still sort of haunts me to this day. Not as bad as before, but it’s still there.
I just want to know if anyone has it, or knows someone that is diagnosed with it. How do you guys deal with it and cope with it? This is all new to me and i'm doing as much research on it. Despite feeling a little down, it is a little bit of weight lifted off my shoulders because it helps me understand why all these years I struggle with socializing and have high anxiety issues.
Mental health is nothing to ignore, but I just wanted to share this since it's been on my mind for a few weeks now. Sorry for the long posts.
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