Anyone Got Any Jokes?

[drunken cow]

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them: ?In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.? For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.? Go ahead and do the same thing,? he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, ?The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.?

 

[kidufc]

posting for lulz later.

 

[starzinoureyes]

Originally Posted by Drunken Cow

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them: ?In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.? For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.? Go ahead and do the same thing,? he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, ?The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.?

 

[ryanbbn23]

Some pretty good stuff in here, and a lot not so good too.

 

[Thats My Word]

What's brown and rhymes with loon?

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P. Diddy

 

[everysingletime]

Originally Posted by Drunken Cow

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them: ?In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.? For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.? Go ahead and do the same thing,? he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, ?The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.?

Lol I'm slow it took me three reads to get the joke

 

[lasfinest1118]

HILARIOUS!!! Keep em comin I got 5 moh hrs of work left

 

[theone218]

posting for lulz in class.

 

[l smokecity l]

What kind of pants do Super Mario and Luigi wear?







DENIM DENIM DENIM

 

[seniosoul]

Originally Posted by amel223

Originally Posted by Drunken Cow

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them: ?In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.? For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.? Go ahead and do the same thing,? he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, ?The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.?

Lol I'm slow it took me three reads to get the joke

you should read more frequently

 

[rawex5]

Originally Posted by Drunken Cow

  

 

[17]

thread is full of lols, that one about the quarters almost mad me cry though

 

[air gordon]

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes

Originally Posted by Fog Raw

Originally Posted by Halftime718

You want to hear a joke about my penis

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Nevermind it's too long.

You want to hear a joke about vaginas?

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Nevermind you'll never get it.

  


So this rich guy & a poor guy are talking about what they're gonna get their wives for Christmas.
The rich guy says "I'm gonna get my wife a diamond ring & a Mercedes. If she doesn't like the ring, she can always hop in her new car & exchange it for something else."
The poor guy thinks about it for a second and finally says "Well, I'm gonna get my wife a pair of slippers & a dildo. If she don't like the slippers, she can go #$*+ herself."

 

[airforce1s]

bump!!!

 

[dmoney82]

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes

Originally Posted by Drunken Cow

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them: ?In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.? For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.? Go ahead and do the same thing,? he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, ?The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.?

 

[lakernation]

What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?

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The NBA!!

 

[untouchable jc]

Originally Posted by AIR GORDON

Originally Posted by starzinoureyes

Originally Posted by Fog Raw

Originally Posted by Halftime718

You want to hear a joke about my penis

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler [+]

Spoiler

Nevermind it's too long.

You want to hear a joke about vaginas?

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler [+]

Spoiler

Nevermind you'll never get it.

  


So this rich guy & a poor guy are talking about what they're gonna get their wives for Christmas.
The rich guy says "I'm gonna get my wife a diamond ring & a Mercedes. If she doesn't like the ring, she can always hop in her new car & exchange it for something else."
The poor guy thinks about it for a second and finally says "Well, I'm gonna get my wife a pair of slippers & a dildo. If she don't like the slippers, she can go #$*+ herself."

  

 

[mjwizkid]

Funny stuff in here!!

 

[trhee]

Lmao *bookmarks*

 

[darth dnzy]

--So Bron, Flash and Chrissy Bosh were in Utah for a couple days to play the Jazz.
--Dudes decide to take a little skiing adventure.
--There was only one bed available at the cabin but they all decided to sleep in it together no %#+%.
--Chrissy Bosh sleeps in the middle.
--In the AM, Bron says he had a dream that his pipe was getting stroked.
--The Flash said, hey Bron I had the same dream.

--Chrissy Bosh says "I dreamt I was already skiing".

 

[everysingletime]

EEw.

 

[airbornho]

I like this thread!

 

[primeminister202]

 

[onlysomejordans]

-What did the wall say to the other wall?

Meet me at the corner.


-How do you know a blonde just used a computer?

There's White Out on the monitor.




A guy meets a girl at a coffee shop, she invites him to a "mood party" she's having later that night, and to invite a friend.

Guy gets back to his apartment and tells his roommate about the party, but they have no idea what to wear for it. The guy says, "I have an idea. Let me go to the supermarkert and get some fruit and a pie."

Later on that night they show up to the party naked only covering their privates. They ring the doorbell and the host is surpised to see them naked and says, "I told you this was a MOOD Party not a NUDE Party!!!"

The guy goes, "I know that, I'm just deep in dispair and my friend is f****n' disgusted."

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for those who might not get it, deep in this pear and f****n' 'dis custard

 

[fog]

How much coke did Charlie Sheen take?

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Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.