Anyone feel like they're getting lonelier as they get older?

[f-kickz]

I remember the days when I had a lot of homies and we would used to hoop and kick it and do ****. But now since everyone has gotten older, they don't wanna do anything anymore. Some of my friends have kids, have girlfriends, or just work their 9-5 all the time and play video games. Most of them moved away and got new things going on for them. I know that I'm not old, I'm only 22, but I feel like I'm already in my 40's dealing with some sort of mid-life crisis. All I've been doing is going to school full time, work part time, and work out. I've been having a hard time getting out the house, the only time I usually ever go out anymore is if I go to school, work, gym, or shopping, all which I do by myself. It's hard getting in touch with anyone these days, can't even go drink or catch a flick with anyone anymore. I'm trying to put myself out there again and meet new people, I just transferred to this new school last year and I commute weekly, but I haven't been able to meet that many people since I'm usually busy. I haven't really had a strong circle of friends for almost 2 years and it sucks because now I have a hard time making friends now. There are some people I see at the gym that I say whatsup to but it doesn't go anywhere beyond that. And my game is zero now with the ladies, been in a dry spell for a minute too. This structural lifestyle is killing my social life, love life, mental health, and my overall well being, well except for my physical health because of the gym. Honestly, I feel hella depressed and caught in a funk, I don't know what else I can do with my life right now except school, work, and lift, I usually don't like to go out to places by myself like the movies or anywhere else unless I have to. Too much alone time up in this biyaaatch. So yeah, anyone feel me bruh?

 

[thadoctadvocate]

Where do you live? I will go to movie with you

 

[demarco]

i'm the same age with a very similar story.

this is the time of your life where you need to develop yourself and focus on your future. the reason we all sort of drift apart around this time is because our futures begin to become our present, some quicker than others (via parenthood, etc). you just need to follow suit, without a reality check necessary.

have you thought about what you want as a career? pick a craft that excites you and immerse yourself in it. see this solitude as a blessing and give your life meaning. the time is now. any friends of value that you could possibly want will gracefully come into your life once it becomes purpose driven.

 

[mivish06]

I'm 21 and literally going through the same exact thing. You realize as you get older that your friends have their own lives and pursuits which they are after, and from what I can say, these years are especially confusing. In my mid to late teens I had a circle of homies down to chill at all times and it seemed as if there were always things to do, but as the years progressed the more distant we got. 

This situation actually made me closer with family, and I ended up spending a lot more time socializing with my folks instead of the gossip and bs that I had to deal with before with two-faced friends and meaningless relationships. My dad made it very clear to me just to focus on school and build my foundation during these critical years of adulthood. As he told me, "friends will come and go....girls will come and go, but your family and career will stay with you." So don't stress it OP, just remain focused on your priorities for bettering your life, keep a goal in your mind and continue pushing through this confusing stage. You're not alone.

And if you really feel the need to socialize beyond school and stuff, hit up a bar or a beer garden, you'll always find cool folks to kick it with, even if it's just for the night. They might be superficial friends who just want to get @#$ up but whatever. You'll be alright, just take it a day at a time.

take care

 

[heliumclinton]

I'm 21

way too young to feel like that

 

[mivish06]

Pre-medical studies and the mcat exam have turned me into a hermit 

 I don't have time to hang out and be as reckless as I was before.  Plus I went through a really bad breakup which really changed my outlook on "friends" and the callousness of some folks. 

 

[f-kickz]

 
i'm the same age with a very similar story.

this is the time of your life where you need to develop yourself and focus on your future. the reason we all sort of drift apart around this time is because our futures begin to become our present, some quicker than others (via parenthood, etc). you just need to follow suit, without a reality check necessary.

have you thought about what you want as a career? pick a craft that excites you and immerse yourself in it. see this solitude as a blessing and give your life meaning. the time is now. any friends of value that you could possibly want will gracefully come into your life once it becomes purpose driven.

I'm almost done with school, got about a year left, I'm going for a  bachelors in psych, getting into clinical psych, therapy, social work, working with kids,teens, etc. Also I have backup plans for a career in dentistry, or I might get into kinesiology for personal fitness training. But yeah, being in solitude kinda sucks, especially when you go long periods of time without really having a day to spend with anyone else. It's just a straight up hustle.

 

[createdestroy]

I bet yall wouldn't feel lonely if you had yambz on deck... you guys need to spend more time in TAY

 

[f-kickz]

 
I'm 21 and literally going through the same exact thing. You realize as you get older that your friends have their own lives and pursuits which they are after, and from what I can say, these years are especially confusing. In my mid to late teens I had a circle of homies down to chill at all times and it seemed as if there were always things to do, but as the years progressed the more distant we got. 

This situation actually made me closer with family, and I ended up spending a lot more time socializing with my folks instead of the gossip and bs that I had to deal with before with two-faced friends and meaningless relationships. My dad made it very clear to me just to focus on school and build my foundation during these critical years of adulthood. As he told me, "friends will come and go....girls will come and go, but your family and career will stay with you." So don't stress it OP, just remain focused on your priorities for bettering your life, keep a goal in your mind and continue pushing through this confusing stage. You're not alone.

And if you really feel the need to socialize beyond school and stuff, hit up a bar or a beer garden, you'll always find cool folks to kick it with, even if it's just for the night. They might be superficial friends who just want to get @#$ up but whatever. You'll be alright, just take it a day at a time.

take care

Thanks Mivish, I definitely had my fair share of homies and girls, most of the time the relationship was superficial, most of my friends were two-faced opportunists, the girls I kicked it with were mainly beneficial for both parties, no real connection, nothing. The thing that keeps me going is finishing up school in hopes of a future, working hard to support myself and paying for consumption needs and possible vacations, and lifting weights to be in the best shape I can, plus the gym is a great outlet for me and seems to be the most positive environment so far. I guess my problem is that everyday seem the same, I gotta spice it up a bit somehow. lol

 

[fontaine]

It will get better....

Because you will start to meet people who's interest are more aligned with yours...

Mid 20s is really an awesome time, in my opinion...

 

[johnnyredstorm]

I'm comfortable with solidarity but I'm at the point in my life where I'm ready to be with someone I love and share our lives together.

 

[mangudai954]

I bet yall wouldn't feel lonely if you had yambz on deck... you guys need to spend more time in TAY

Nah. Sex with a woman and camaraderie with guys your age are two completely different things. Neither can replace the other. I see where OP is coming from.

 

[heliumclinton]

I bet yall wouldn't feel lonely if you had yambz on deck... you guys need to spend more time in TAY

you sound lonely

 

[dmbrhs]

The older you get, the smaller your circle of true friends gets. It's not a bad thing, it's just part of maturing. You realize who you relate to more, and gravitate towards them. In high school and late teens, you're still naive, and are willing to accept more people into your circle. I'd say I didn't develop/maintain my current group of friends until at least age 25. A few are leftover from high school, some are people I've met in the ten years since. And I've had a whole crapload of "friends" come and go in-between.

Edit: forgot to mention this, the thing people have a hard time letting go of is the fact that eventually, you have to realize that all friends aren't "there" for all things. I have friends who I do certain things with. I can ask a couple friends if they want to watch an NFL game, whereas others may not want to do that. You have to find common ground. If you try and force people into doing certain things, you'll find yourself feeling lonely, because it's not always about what you want to do. It's about what you BOTH want to do.

 

[Chiron]

Yeah 21. Going through this too.

2 years left for the bachelors.

working for usps about 32 - 40 hours a week.

when i started at usps i pretty much deaded my "kick it" girls and went into money mode.

My fraternity is more distant since im one of the older guys (pledged fall '10) and i'm too busy to be at every event
but the frat still comes through with friends, parties, and yambz occasionally... thank goodness

I would like to get out more. Still gotta stack money for now though. Can't lose focus.

 

[216301baller]

I'm 23 lonely as hell and I'm ok with that..scratch that I'm not lonely at all..I went thru my depression stage from 20-21 I'm actually happy kinda..I've became indifferent to everything forreal..if its not for the better of my life it dnt matter

 

[mugen81]

As long as you are working towards your goal, there's no need to feel bad about not going out etc..
I have a girl and my moms and nieces and nephew and I can honestly say I am happy just like it is...
I work for USPS and in Grad School and I get were not making connections with people can get you that feeling of loneliness or missing out but as you get older, your circle will definately get smaller but that's okay because you learn how to let people go and enjoy your "me" time.... Just keep your eyes on the prize and eventually things will look up...Positivity in mind creates the world you want, I have always believed that..

 

[lordofcastamere]

LOL I'm the opposite, the older I get the more I just want to be alone.

 

[knowledgebones72]

There was a time when I thought I had my **** together and had mad friends an even a girlfriend that I loved.

Things were slipping through the cracks because I was too busy with my friends and my girls thinking "this is life! It's like how to make it in America and things work out for the best on their own!"

Then everything fell apart and I realized those people were just distracting me from the real stuff I didn't notice I was ignoring.

So I shed all of them from my life, including the girlfriend.

And I'm slowly getting it all back but in a more solid and real way.

And I'm gonna continue being a loner, cause I realized I don't really need people as much as I need success.

As harsh as that sounds, people will always be around. I'm 26 just now making it back to where I was at 23 and I refuse to ever get comfortable or seek to add people to my life again.

 

[celticsfan9783]

21-22? Prime of your life. GTF out there. Serious. Live with no regrets. If you're lonely, join dating sites, go to bars/clubs, join rec leagues, volunteer.

 

[pr0phecy718]

I'm 21

way too young to feel like that

 

[mints]

I've found that as you get older it gets a bit harder to find the time for just kicking it with friends, pretty much everything has to have at least some sort of goal in mind. It's easiest to have friends over for a BBQ or to watch a game. When I was young I never really gave a damn about sports until I hit my early 20s and then it became the only really reliable time that I'd get to kick it with a lot of friends at once. If you have any free time on the weekends, start hitting up the farmers markets, street fairs, and stuff like that, you'll meet people. Make some time to reconnect with your core group of friends, everyone's grown a bit, but at 22 there's still a life time of life changing events ahead.

 

[superblytrife]

Lonely at 22?  Brah, you should be living it up right now.  Get out there and have fun and stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Sometimes you have to force yourself to meet new people, but once you've done it you'll feel better because you will have made new acquaintances.  

Make it happen, OP.  Life is too short to be wasting away your prime years to let loose because you're lifting or studying all the time.  

Btw, if you're lonely now, just wait until you hit 30.  Generally, your circle of true friends gets smaller as time goes on, so prepare for that accordingly.  

 

[al audi]

I'm comfortable with solidarity but I'm at the point in my life where I'm ready to be with someone I love and share our lives together.

me too, actually discussed this with a female yesterday

OP its part of growin up man

i had 2 diff yambs as NT likes to call it the past 2 days....................sex doesnt make up for feelin lonely, its just a temporary effect

 

[kingkoopa]

How y'all feel like this at 21? I would of thought you were at least 30+ I enjoy less friends and a quieter phone. I still have a social life but nothing like when I was early 20's.