Airhead Chicks UNappreciation Vol. Whats the dumbest thing a girl ever told you?

Originally Posted by dakid23


she was dumb but i would smash
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 might post pics later
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took a girl on a bowling date when i was in high school:

me: Look i bowl a turkey
her: where the turkey
me:?? huh??
her: do you get a turkey to bring home?
me: no i bowled 3 strike in a row
her: so you wont be taking a turkey home?


never ask her out again
 
I was just casually talking to this girl in class and i realize shes kinda simple so..

Me: your stupid
Her: No I'm not.
Me: Who's the Vice President?
Her: Idk.. hes not important anyway
Me:
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....
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Originally Posted by popcornplaya

"Hey, do you wanna come make cookies with us?"
No. (mainly because she's ugly.)
"Why not?"
I have rugby practice.
"Rugby? Is that some type of board game?"
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Two girls crossing the street on wednesday, coming from class:
"Why is the stoplight beeping?"
"I think it's for deaf people."
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I had a similar one my freshman year of college. A bunch of us were walking towards the subway, and one dude is like "what are the beeping noises for?" and this chick, very zealous to respond, goes "it's so the deaf people can cross" I almost died of laughter that day.
 
Most recent one
Showing a chick my nexus one

Her:what kind of phone is that
Me:nexus one. The google phone
Her: oh i have one of those (proceeds to pull out a razr and show me the google search home page)
Me:
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for those who havent read these before, and for those who just want to re read.

enjoy

Lion King Cheerleader story
Spoiler [+]
...........so, i sent her a text AIM message askin her what time she got off work. she said 12. i asked her if it was ok if i called her. she said ok. i told her that i would call at 12:15.........i called at 12:15 and got NO ANSWER. im like "aight, if she just got off work she might not be able to talk so soon" she sent me a message saying "gimmie a couple more mins." i called back at 12:40......NO ANSWER. at this point i was prepare to hang up and turn my ringer off and go to sleep.
But right when i closed my phone she called. she asked me what i was doin, i told her that i was layin down and i wanted to know what happened as to why she couldn't contact me over the break. she said that her phone had completely cut off. to the point where she could not see anything on it. she complained to the phone company and they wouldnt do anything. she said that everybody in VA was upset cuz she didnt visit any friends. i told her that i would have made it work. i even gave her details....

This is what she said……

"well, riddle me this batman, how am i suppose to do all that, i dont know the people u know, and i dont have your number memorized, and i dont have all the resources u do."

im like "whatever, I would have made it work"

i go for about 5 mins. without sayin anything. then she asks why i aint sayin much. i tell her because im very frustrated and i dont wanna bring negativity to the phone convo. she asks why im frustrated. i asked her if she was really sure that she wanted to know the source of my frustration, i asked 2 more times, and she said she was sure and wanted to know the problem. i told her about how i was waiting for her, and the next day i was left waiting for "somebody else"(IMH) who also never showed up

now, she is almost always a happy upbeat random person (as u will see later on) but n the saddest voice ive ever heard from her, she says.......

"u tryin to make me feel bad?"

i told her NO. but in my head i was like

"if what im tellin u is makin u feel bad, then feel bad then, do it , feel bad i dare u"

she told me that she felt bad.............i grinned .


then i asked her " So, whatever happened to u suppose to be callin me more?"

she replied "Sorry MASTER, would u like me to shine ur shoes too master?"

im like "huh?, did she just call me MASTER????????"

then she said " anything else u would like for me to do for u master"?

i replied "u know what, naw, aint nothing else u can do for me."

she said "the royal penis is clean Your Highness".

im like "oh, i bet u did clean the royal penis. and did u just call me Your Highness? is that even a masculine term??

she laughed, i smirked.

one of the things i hate is that 99% of the time i talk to a girl on the phone, they are always havin other conversations on their side with other people. she was talkin to other people and blah blah blah, i wasnt speakin much, so i thought to myself, "hmmmmmmm i gotta say something to turn the convo on me, since im always tryin to get her to call, i cant just not say %%+# cuz im mad." so i say...........

"aiyo, u wanna get married"........"of course"she says.....

"no, DO U WANNA MARRY ME!!??"... i asked.

she said "Yes." i asked her why, she responded "WHY NOT"

i busted out laughin and asked her WHY she wanted to marry me. hoping that she would not ask me the same thing. she said that she wanted to marry me cuz i was funny, smart, blah blah blah, the usual things people say about those they would marry.

i told her that the number 1 thing i liked about her was that she always seemed happy.

then about 1 min. passed by without much convo and then outta NOWHERE she just starts doin cheerleader cheers. she was talkin really fast too.

im sittin there like what is she doin? i know shes a really random person, but since i was sleepy and frustrated i guess i wasnt really feelin it at the time.

she was yellin out cheerleader cheers for about 10 mins...........

AND THEN SHE STARTED RECITING THE SCRIPT FROM "The Lion King"

i dont know if she was readin it or she had it memorized but she was just goin thru ALL the words in the movie like it was nothing. she was sayin it so fast i couldnt believe what i was hearing. no exaggeration, she must have said 30% of the movie script in about 10 mins. i was sooo heated. tempted to just hang up the phone without even tellin her, i dont know how far she got into the movie, or where she started from, i dont know what prompted her to do that.

so then i thought, maybe its some sort of recording she was playin, i asked her if everything was aight, and she just kept doin the Lion King,

i even said i was gonna hang up, but she just kept reciting the script, then i asked what my middle name was and she said.......

Yes, Simba, but let me explain. When we die, our

bodies become the grass .....YOU DONT HAVE A MIDDLE NAME... And the antelope eat the

grass. And so we are all connected in the great Circle

of Life. (continues Lion King'ing.).....

finally she stops.

im sittin there like WOW. WOW. WOW. why do i even bother.then i hear some gay sounding guy in the background talking VERY VERY LOUDLY. almost like he was right up to the phone with her.

im like "aiyo, tell ol' boy to shut up, i cant concentrate, tell him to go ramble on somewhere elese, me makin me angrier"


she laughed, i laughed, althought i was frustrated, in fact, i was smiling through the whole conversation. but now it was too much, i told her that i was getting off the phone now. and she said.....

"so, when u gonna call me tomorrow".....

in my head im like "#+*%+, u got the audacity to ask me to call YOU!!!" after all that stuff u be talkin about how we need to communicate better and that u were gonna call ME more. everytime i call u, u just tell me that ur gonna call me back and hang up, never to call me back. so i told her to call me. but i also told her that i dont believe she will call, so i wont gonna worry about it.

she said that she will call and that is

THE END.
of course she didnt call. thats the last time ive spoken with her. a couple weeks ago (at the time that this story originally typed) was she sent me an anonymous message she didnt leave her name. but i knew it was her cuz she mentioned High school, the only girls that liked in hs was her, IMH, and GWG. IMH doesnt communicate using that website, and me and GWG dont communicate at all. she apologized and asked to be forgiven


Teisha the Cookie Monster

Spoiler [+]
Teisha was a girl who we nicknamed Cookie Monster. she had the sexiest voice over the phone. my boys met her on the chatline back in the day. she was mad cockey. but we was cockey too. i aint talk to her much cuz i aint care cuz i had my own phonewhore. Tiesha use to always tell me to eat her period. twas the nastiest thing a girl had ever told me. anyway one night i get a call sayin that Teisha had showed up at my boys house in another neighborhood. i was shocked cuz she stayed over the bridge. i asked them what happened.

they was like she knew some dude who was in their hood . she knocked on the door, 2 of my boys was over there. she wanted to +!!% both. when they looked at her out the peep hole, she was about 4'11, 160lbs. one of my boys ran upstairs in the bathroom to hide from her. my other boy let her in. she asked where the other guy was at and she went upstairs to the bathroom. she tried to dome him up and he was like nawww u troll faced #+*%+.

later on that night me and my boy Dutch get round there. i see her body and just
@ her. i couldnt see her face cuz it was so dark outside. we was chillin at the park in the middle of the hood. its about 10:30 at night. beside the park is the big huge trash can. my boy Dutch goes behind a tree to pee and ol girl follows him. but she was so nasty lookin that no body wanted to be around her. he kept tellin her to get off him and to let him piss in peace. i damn sure aint say much to her. me not talkin to her made her come to me more so i would give her some attention. shes all like "touch me, touch me". im like "naw, man"

my other boy goes to the big dumbster to go piss. ol girl follows him. they in their for about 4 mins. when he came back the first words he said to us were...

" THAT #+*%+ FARTED
"
.

he said as soon as she got on her knees she farted.

by this time its late and i gotta go home cuz i got school in the morning. all of us got school, but they usually skip. i wasnt a skipper. she calls me back, and truthfully i was having fun so i went back. she kept takin my hands makin me touch her. i hate stuff like that. if i wanted to touch u i woulda touched u. then she hugs me. i actually dont liked bein touched at all unless i want somebody to touch me. so im tellin her to get off, and shes not gettin off. so i started swingin around and shes still clinging to me. we are in the park by this ditch . it was kinda muddy cuz it had rained a few days ago.

at this point, i had enough, so i picked her up and slammed her in the ditch. she was laughin. i punched her in her *!%*. not hard. but that %%+# was DEEEEEEEP. im like
how my fist go that far down? she had on pants and aint no way her %@#*$ was that wide open. i told my boys how deep she was and they
'd hard! i had actually forgot about that part of the story until about 2 weeks ago when my boy reminded me


the next day, they called me and was like "YOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS #+*%+ LOOK LIKE A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE!!!"
im like "what"? they was like after i left, they took her into the house and she took her jacket off and she had all these dots on her arms. like lil chocolate chips.

i asked them where she was at now and they said that she was still over there cuz she came back eariler that morning. they put her on the phone. she told me that she had fun while she was in the ditch. i jokingly asked her if she woulda let me +!!% while we was in the ditch, she said yeah she would have if my boys wasnt there.

 
This girl recently on my junior trip for school

Ok so we were at CSU LA and they have a display of this
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So the class is looking at it and someone asks

"How do you get it in?"

Its not visable from the pic but the front part of the car opens up. So she says...

"Wow really? You unbuild it, get in and build it again."  Had everyone like



Dont help that she looks like Ronaldinho 
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Girl#1: ughh. you're too nice. Thug it up a little
Me: I'm not a thug.

Girl#2: You changed, you use to be mean, now you're wayy too nice. I liked it better when you were an +%#$*+$ to me.
Me: *$#+!
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So, I fail multiple times for being wayy too nice.
 
me and my ex are the zoo

her:do see u that?
me:see what?
her:frown:shouts and points so everyone can see too) THOSE BIG *%* ZEBRAS OVER THERE!!THEY MUST BE CLONED OR SOMETHING
me:frown:smh while facepalmed) those arent zebras, they're giraffes
her:really??
me:*i turn her to the right where theres a big sign that says AFRICAN GIRAFFE*
her:aw..they must have made a mistake

after that i pretty much just smashed again and never called her lol
 
its some tough ones in here...

i cant top... cuz all are funny... only contribute...

her: ricky... i'm tryin to tell you... THE MOVIE "O" was NOT based on Othello...
me: so why wasnt it babe...
her: cuz Mekhi Phifer doesnt do shakespeare... and its not even the same plot...
me: babe... how is it not the same?
her: cuz they didnt play basketball back then...

smh...
 
I was talking to my friend.

Her: We live on the west coast?
Me: Yes
Her: Oh...I didn't know that.

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i was talking to this chick who just moved to my school

Me: what state are you from?

Her: Las Vegas

Me; you mean Nevada?

Her: Nevada isn't a State, Las Vegas is.

Me:
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my g/f is full of airhead comments:

Is May 11th Cinco de Mayo?

(watching the say something video)....So is Drake dating Timbaland?

Ill F u if you give me a piece of your steak...

Me: Lets go to B-dubs
Me: Where are you taking me?
Her: Mr. B's Pub
 
In class discussing where to meet on the track field in case of an emergency.
Teacher: We will meet here on the track in case of an earthquake or fire.

Her: (raises hand) What if you are not at school?

Class: 
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Teacher: 
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A producer from Death Row comes into a retail store I use to work at.

Me: Did you see that guy?  He's part of death row! Did you see his chain? 

Her: yes....(looking confused)

Me: What?

Her: Well if he is on death row, what is he doing out of prison?

Me: 
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man too many things as of late. seems like chicks be gettin dumber by the day SMH
 
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 @ the DSL one and a few others. Might as well followed up with a cable remark.
With that said here's mine:

I was talking to a girl about food...

Her: You know when I like something my mouth waters with saliva (pronounced to her: sah-leh-va)

Me: What did you say?

Her: You know Sah-Leh-Va.

Me: Oh you mean saliva (Sa-Lie-Va) like the drool coming out of your mouth right now?

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, but no lie airheaded girls are sometimes appreciated for smashing purposes.
 
After I got finished smashing this chick I go to make a sandwich (my house)...

Me: You want a sandwich
Her: Yes. Thanks.
Me: Do you want mayonnaise on it?
Her: ...I don't know.
Me:
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Same girl months later on phone...

Her: I love you.
Me: Don't say that. You don't mean it
Her: I do. I love you.
Me: Why do you think you love me?
Her: Because you gave me two orgasms in a row. (she was dead serious)

That was our last convo.
 
Some chick in university a couple of years ago was telling the class the countries she'd been to (we were introducing ourselves on the first day of class). She said she's visited Holland and the Netherlands.
 
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